To Love a Fatui Harbinger (Childe x Reader)
Who needs to finish a 40k-word fanfic with a completely different Genshin character when you can write a random drabble with Childe instead lol
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To love the Fatui Harbinger known as Childe was no easy feat, but loving Ajax? That came far too easily.
The man only grew more beautiful as years passed, but you couldn’t help longing for your younger years. Back when times were simpler; back when Ajax was the only name the world knew him by.
You were never too far behind the boy as children. Devils in disguise, the village people of your small hometown in Snezhnaya would call you two. Mischief followed you like a shadow and you were far too happy to engage in whatever adventure the boy had planned each and every day.
Little warm hands grasping your own in play turned shy the older you got.
Suddenly, sleepovers were a foreign concept, and sitting too close made your face burn bright.
Ajax apologized to you a million times over when you mistook him hugging a girl as you no longer being his best friend.
One could hardly call you a fool for you were just a child, but it would take a bit more maturity for you to realize what you felt that day was jealousy.
It felt childish wanting Ajax all to yourself, but the idea of someone else memorizing every scrunch in his nose when he smiled? The pattern of freckles that adorned his body like the most stunning night sky? The squeak he let out a few minutes into a good laugh? No, you wanted to keep those all to yourself.
You knew you loved Ajax before you learned what the word truly entailed, and neither of you held back saying it the moment “dating” became an important aspect of your age.
His and your parents adored you as a pair. They joked that it was you keeping him out of trouble, but you swore you would’ve lost your mind by now if he wasn’t always there to reel you back to reality.
Which is why you thought the word was ending at the age of 14.
You blamed yourself completely for Ajax’s disappearance. You should’ve known better than to let your parents drag you off to visit family that week. Of course that would be the one week he decided to venture further than usual.
It was one day into his disappearance when you returned. The remaining two were the most heart-wrenching days of your young life.
His parents tried helplessly to ease your sorrows, but they were dealing with their own troubles. Not to mention the plethora of sobbing siblings left in their own household.
The sounds of crying children never ceased during that time.
The village folk had to drag you back home for those two evenings. Your screams echoed throughout the Snezhnaya wilderness, but you refused to rest until Ajax was safe.
The unbearable pain came to an end the morning you saw bright orange hair emerging from the forest.
You would be the first one to find Ajax wandering out of the wilderness, and countless hugs and kisses filled the remainder of that day.
Although the boy whose hand you clutched tightly looked like Ajax, his eyes screamed otherwise.
In the coming months, you’d learn, gone was the shyness of the boy you fell in love with. Unforeseen boldness took its place. Gone were his half-baked adventure ideas. Merciless hunts took their place. But gone was not his affection for you, albeit the different ways he now showed them.
His sweetness remained, but his protectiveness over you multiplied tenfold.
Ajax didn’t let you venture off into the unknown bounds of nature anymore. That wasn’t to say he was controlling, but if you did wander too far past the village, he would march you straight back to your family, warning them that what happened to him could happen to you in this treacherous land.
No one could argue against that.
When you tried asking what happened out there during his disappearance, he would regale you with tales one would tell to scare children.
“It was dark,” he said. “All the trees looked the same, and I got too far away from the village that first night. Wolves chased me deeper into the forest, and a… a bear wouldn’t leave me alone. Don’t worry about it, what’s important is that I made it back to you.”
Despite your pleas, that would be the only details he’d ever give. Your parents reminded you that the young boy could’ve been traumatized by the event, and it was better not to push him to remember more than what he could, but you knew him. The faraway look in his eyes, the caution in his touch, the jovial attitude no matter the situation. He remembered something–if not everything, he was just hiding it.
Your pestering eventually ceased after months of lies, deciding it was better to be happy he was home.
You had to accept that the Ajax you fell in love with would grow up to be braver than you remembered; more daring, fearless, and outright ruthless by the time he was recruited to join the Fatui.
“Tartaglia” rose the ranks fast. Taking on the more well-known alias of “Childe” felt far too ironic. You still found yourself mourning the timid boy he was in his younger years, and here he was naming himself such an innocent word despite his brutality on the battlefield.
Childe never stopped loving you.
The letters he sent contained both stories of the Fatui’s accomplishments, and the sweetest of words he could declare in your absence from his side.
It was always a joyful time whenever Childe came home.
Cold hands enveloped you in warm hugs, and evenings would be spent cuddled close while he lied to his siblings about his adventures as a toy maker.
Everyone agrees that it was the right thing to do. Children didn’t need their innocence ripped away from them so young, and you knew Childe was also spinning his own web of lies when he told you about his missions as a Harbinger.
You weren’t stupid, but you wouldn’t push him for more information.
Would you love Childe less if you knew what acts he truly committed as a Harbinger? Would you resent him for traversing such a path? Would you be able to move on from falling for the potential monster he could be?
You didn’t want to know.
All that mattered was the icy eyes that bore into your own, the calloused hands that softly held your own, and the sweet lips that captured your own in sensual delight belonged to your Ajax, even if that Ajax died in the Snezhnayan forest at the age of 14.
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Also check out where else I'm a moron on the internet on my Twitter, Tumblr, and Wattpad @CherryGourds :)
(Note: This is cross-posted from my ao3 @/CherryGourds)
