I don't like how my congestion sometimes makes me feel really sick. I have a scab in one of my nostrils, I know I do. I also feel like I have a sore throat or something. I try to clear out my nostrils by sniffling really hard, but all I manage to do is make my ears pop. I wish the scab would just dislodge itself. I don't care if it leads me to start bleeding from my nose a lot, I just want to get it out. And the constant congestion in my chest…well, that phlegm is still not going away. I try and I try and I try to make it go away, but no. No, it just insists on staying where it is. It's so awful. And so I get really worried that I'm sick, all just because I'm constantly congested.
Could I actually be sick? I guess it's possible. I find it hard to believe a cold would suddenly strike me with no clear buildup, but I guess it's possible. But if it isn't actually a cold, that still leaves the question of what it actually is to continue hounding me. Because seriously, what the hell is it with this congestion? Is it allergies or something? I guess that could be possible. The only things I know I'm allergic to are dust and cat hair, though. And since we don't have a cat, it has to be dust that keeps inflaming my allergens. And I guess that makes some sense. Our house is dusty, after all. But I figure all houses get dusty if don't clean every single day of the week. And I don't want to be stuck cleaning (or asking my dad to clean) every single day. That sounds horrible. So having this problem be revealed as allergies would seriously not help me.
I keep making my ears pop by sniffling. I'm scared I'm going to damage my ears or something. That'd be the last thing I need, what with all this congestion everything in my head area. Nasal congestion, chest congestion, oh so much congestion. I don't know why I'm always congested, but I'm also kind of worried about what the answers could reveal. I don't want to learn this will be a permanent life long struggle for me. I suspect that's the answer I'll get, but it really terrifies me to think about all that. I don't want to get that answer, because I feel like it would only bring me more stress. But maybe it would also just allow me to begin preparing for the future where I'm congested 24/7. Because that future seems to be here now, and I think it's been building to this ever since 2020 or 2021 or so. Just the congestion constantly. It's horrible. Absolutely horrible.
My old family doctor (who's now retired) kept prescribing me different nasal sprays to help with my congestion. Well, I'm still congested and the nasal sprays haven't done anything. They've given me bad tastes in my mouth, they've sometimes given me sore throats, but they're never once given me a feeling of having unblocked sinuses. The failure of all the nasal sprays gives me more stress than I even had before all this, because it adds another new layer to all of my problems. I hate it. I really, really hate it all. It's so frustrating to deal with this, and I just don't know when I'll ever be free of the congestion. I want to be free of all this, but I don't know if I ever will be. I just wish I knew what was behind all this, because I can't really fight what I can't understand. I wish I could, because at least then there's a chance I'd be feeling better now. But here we are, with me years into battling a congestion problem. Still unaware of what causes it all and still unsure if things will get better. I just hate this so, so much.
Oh, and my stomach issues are still here too. That's a different sort of problem than the congestion, but it still sucks. It sucks to still feel sore in my stomach, enough so that I still end up straining when I try to go bathroom (and thereby simply end up hurting myself). The straining can't be helped, and the subsequent bleeding has just become something I've gotten used to. I don't like it, but it is something I'm beginning to come to terms with. For better or for worse, it's basically just become a part of my life now. I'm running out of things to say, so I'll cut this note off here. But the congestion and the stomach problems and everything really are hard for me to deal with sometimes.
