I have to wait another year and a half to go no contact with my parents.
I thought I knew what it felt like to be powerless.
I only get to see my fiance once a week. And I worry about him.
I thought I knew what it felt like to be powerless.
I'm stuck living with the siblings and having disagreements and wanting to be with him.
I thought I knew what it felt like to be powerless.
Suddenly my fiance is in the ICU.
I thought I knew what it felt like to be powerless.
Now he's recovering, then suddenly he has heart surgery.
I thought I knew what it felt like to be powerless.
Now he's in rehab and everything hurts. And he's uncomfortable and nauseous and it sucks.
I thought I knew what it felt like to be powerless.
I'm an hour away from him and I have to go to work instead of being with him.
I thought I knew what it felt like to be powerless.
I sit next to my fiance, helping him as much as I can, cleaning up messes and bringing him ice water but I can't do anything to diminish the pain and discomfort.
I thought I knew what it felt like to be powerless.
Time raised his gaze up into the duo chained to a wall. Hyrule was having entirely furious look on his face while even Sky looked like he was hating the situation. “Hyrule, please, don’t.” The Chain’s leader begged with weak voice. “I can…” He gulped while gritting his teeth as he forced himself to stand straighter. “I can take it.”
“No, you can’t.” Hyrule stated out firmly. His gaze was desperately searching through the whole room. “SHOW YOURSELF, YOU COWARD!” He screamed out while really loathing enemies that attacked without being seen. Yet, he couldn’t deny the fact that he and his brothers used the same method whenever they had the chance.
“Hyrule, stop, please.” Time pleaded desperately.
“No.” Hyrule growled while glaring as he searched for the enemy. “I’m sick of this.” Eventually he raised his gaze up into the dark ceiling without better place to throw his glare into. “You’re a coward! Hiding behind invisibility! Throwing in cruel situations! Blaming one for things he couldn’t prevent!” The Traveler started with cold voice.
“Hyrule, please!” Time half shouted. “You’re just getting yourself and Sky killed!”
“Go on, Hero of Hyrule. Let that bastard hear it.” Sky coaxed with a smirk.
The half-fairy yanked on the chains roughly. They clanked but didn’t give any of more room than what was already in his usage. “What the fuck do you have against the Hero of Time to shatter him like this?! You’re an absolute coward to not face him as you are!” He shouted before grinning and beginning to laugh. “Oh, you’re scared.” He pointed out almost gleefully.
“Hyrule, you really should stop talking…” Time warned while feeling the atmosphere in the room changing. The Temple’s keeper was getting seriously pissed about what was being shouted.
Hyrule ignored his leader’s plea and kept going: “You’re scared because you know he can beat you up. This is the only way you can win. Tear him apart and get him to torture himself by your cruel commands. Are you really not going to face him and finish what you started by him knowing who took him down?”
“Hyrule, please, stop.” The one eyed male begged while crying out of fear. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing the last two boys of his. “Please, I’m begging of you!”
But Hyrule was far from stopping. He had always been the kind one with bit of mischievousness within him. He finally had enough of staying silent. He glanced once at Sky whom simply nodded in agreement.
The Traveler chuckled and shook his head. “In fact, I’ve never heard of a Boss of a Temple that would’ve been scared to face his challenger. Have you, Sky?”
“Nope, never heard of such.” The Chosen Hero replied calmly with a smirk. “In fact, they’ve always stayed behind a locked door. Waiting. Usually even alone.”
“Sounds like someone failed to read the guidebook of how to be a good Temple Boss.” Hyrule snorted out.
Sky nodded eagerly. “Oh yeah. Totally failing on all parts.”
“Boys, stop, please.” Time pleaded while looking at the duo. “Hyrule, this isn’t like you! And Sky… Please, stop encouraging him.” He reminded and requested but he knew his words were going to deaf ears.
“So, let’s sum it up.” The half-fairy mused with an evil grin. “No Boss Key. Or did you find one, Sky?” He started and the Skyloftian shook his head. “I doubt Time got it either and the rest are gone so, yeah, no key.” He nodded firmly while ignoring the flinch and sickening look on his leader’s face. “Being coward by not showing up. Keeping prisoners and just tormenting the one whom came to face the boss. Being afraid of the one challenging the boss.”
Time slumped and let his ears droop while hiding his face into his hand as he cried. He knew he had once again failed his boys. He couldn’t get Hyrule to shut up and Sky was cheering the half-fairy on. It was only matter of time before the Temple’s keeper would have enough of listening to be mocked like this.
“You insolent fools!” The words echoed roughly around the room.
“Oooh, I think we hit a never there!” Sky nearly cooed and laughed at the menacing growl the Temple’s keeper was making.
Time couldn’t help but feel cold dread lodge into his chest. He begged silently that his boys would fall silent already. “Please… Don’t hurt them…” He whispered while knowing he was powerless to do a thing if the Temple’s keeper chose to do something to his two remaining boys.
Suddenly the Temple’s keeper came into sight. The colors of red, blue, yellow, green and violet created all kinds of odd lines and areas like someone in carnival costume. The Chain’s leader’s eye widened in shock and recognition. “YOU!” He screamed out before already glaring fiercely at the being’s back.
Remus is the thought in situations you feel powerless that makes you want to destroy something,
Remus is the feeling that death is at your door so why not set yourself on fire
Remus is the reaction to pain where you steal whatever control you can back, even if it will only make things worse.
Remus is loudest when you feel low because that’s when you feel most powerless and he’s trying to give you power in whatever form he sees as graspable.
...Remus has been and probably will be very very loud in my head today, how do I cope with someone dying in my close family when there’s no help I can offer past what everyone else already has? cause I know causing a fire or cycling dangerously is going to do nothing other than cause more stress but at least I’d feel like I had control over something then.
my voice is
that which is able
to portray
my very soul, my love,
my heart,
in a simple song,
in a laughing phrase,
in a cry.
take that away
and what am I?
I am silence trapped
within a singing soul,
a laughing presence
muted,
the air heavy
with words unspoken,
cries unheard.
Sometimes I hate to admit it but, sometimes when I'm calling the nurses station to ask how my fiance is doing I'm calling for myself and not for him.
Sometimes it's just so comforting to hear how he's doing even if nothing has changed and to talk with someone else who also cares about how he's doing.
It makes me feel a lot less alone.
It's like see! Me and this nurse on the same team, and especially the nurses extra super duper nice and gives me some reassurance about something that helps me so much.
I never want to waste their time or take them away from their patients, but at the same time I'm getting very desperate for any kind of emotional support I can find.
*sigh*
My favorite thing is when a nurse stays on the phone with me for like 10 minutes and goes into detail about things, like I said it makes me feel like a terrible person but I get a lot of information I worry less and then I also feel comforted in some way.
