Ann-Katrin Berger and Feli Rauch after the game. They are teammates on the German national team 🇩🇪❤️
There was a video as well, and Ann says "schön DICH zu sehen!" ("nice to see YOU!") 🥰
I can exactly remember the words she said this morning.
When I was laying in my bed, safely wrapped in her arms.
"Whatever happens tonight, I will always be so proud of you."
I was still half asleep and only managed to get out a small nod as an answer, but I knew that it was enough for her.
That I was enough for her.
"Breathe! You can do this." Giuli said to me as I was walking towards the penalty mark.
If I scored, we would be through to the semi finals.
If not....well I guess we would have to do another round of penalty shootouts.
I move the ball to the correct position and then walk a few steps backwards.
After I hear the referee blew her whistle I take a deep breath, trying to push away all the thoughts in my head.
This is soccer.
This is what I am best at.
Without thinking about it more, I start running towards the ball.
And I kick it.
Directly into the net, through the open arms of the Canadian goalkeeper.
I hear my teammates shouting and a scream escapes my mouth while I jump around like a crazy one.
The first one to catch up on me is Feli, she hugs me so tight that we almost fall to the ground, but Anne is there to catch us.
"YESSSSSS" I hear Syd screaming as her arms also wrap around me and it quickly turns into a big group hug.
They scream and hug each other and I see Syd and Laura chasing each other around with the water bottles someone gave them.
Feli still holds onto me, her arms wrapped around me so tightly that I can barely breath, and even though we are both sweaty and my legs feel like they where made out of cement the only thing I care about is the words she says.
There so quiet that only I am able to understand it, but I do.
"I love you so fucking much."
I pull back to look at her and see the big smile that covers her face.
"I love you too." I say and it takes all my strength to not kiss her, right there, right now.
Luckily Sara and Merle come to bring us some water and so we just keep smiling at each other.
"SEMI FINALS! SEMI FINALS! SEMI FINALS!" Bibi and Laura scream as we enter the locker room.
"WHUUUUU" I answer and they laugh.
We celebrate that win a little more but we can fell how tiered everyone is so we quickly take a shower and then go to the bus to head back to our hotel.
Feli shoots me a smile before going into her room with Sara and then sends me a goodnight text.
We're not out to the team yet and so we also have other roommates.
---
As I wake up in the morning the sun isn't up yet and so Syd is also still asleep.
I grab my phone from the little nightstand and see a massage from Feli asking if I wanted to come over since Sara got up early and went to the gym.
As quietly as possible I get up, put on some shoes and then leave the room, trying not to wake Syd up.
Feli and Saras room isn't far from mine and after my second knock she already opens the door.
"Hey beautiful, any reason your up this early?" she flirts, leaning against the door frame.
"This cute girl asked me to come over but I think she's already gone." I tease, looking past her into the room and then stepping back.
"Whoa." Feli quickly grabs my hand, pulling me back. "You think my roommate is cute?"
"You are cute." I say and she laughs.
"Come on inside before anyone ears us." I follow her inside and then jump onto her bed.
Feli laughs at me but quickly lays down next to me, wrapping her arms around me.
"Feli?" I ask and look up into her beautiful brown eyes.
"Yes?"
"Do you really love me?"
Something in the way she looks at me, in this moment, the way the look in her eyes softens, makes me fall in love even more.
"I never felt so much love like I do for you." she whispers and then softly kisses me.
"I love you more." I answer and then let my head rest on her shoulder.
She softly starts running her fingers through my hair and I almost fall back asleep but a sudden loud noise that comes from the hallway, gets me awake again.
"I dont know where she is Syd." I hear someone saying and look over at the door.
"She also isn't downstairs at breakfast." I hear another voice, I would say it's Giuli.
Then I hear a door opening and foot steps.
"What's going on?" Thats defiantly Laura.
"We can't find Y/N." this time it is Syd.
"What about Y/N?" I hear Leas voice.
"What are they doing? A team meeting?" I whisper to Feli and she tries to hold back her laughter, while Syd repeats her sentence from before.
"We should ask Feli, they are usually together." Lea suggests and before I even realize what that means, the door opens.
"Shit." I say and fell Feli pulling me tighter against her body.
"Feli have you.....whoa!" Sara says, stopping in the doorway so Syd bumps against her.
"What...OH MY GOOD!" Syd screams, jumping back and with that the other people in the hallway get to see us too.
"You two..." she adds, looking from Feli to me and back to Feli.
"...where trying out if these Anti-Intimacy beds actually work?" Laura finishes her sentence.
Feli grabs the pillow from behind us and throws it at her.
"Chill buddy, we understand that you both have needs but dont you know how to lock the door?" Sara asks.
"It's not like that." Feli says and sits up, my hand in hers.
"You sure?" Laura asks, grinning at us.
"Yes."
"You two are in love?" Anne says, she is overlooking the rest of the group and her eyes are fixed on our entangled hands.
Feli looks at me and in her eyes I see that she is asking for my permission to tell them about us.
"We are." she smiles.
"OH MY GOOD." Syd screams again and before anyone can react she jumps on top of us.
"MY BESTIE IS IN LOVE." she shouts and pulls me into a hug.
I can see the rest of the room laughing, before Sara also hugs Feli.
"I think you got the right girl, buddy." She says and Feli smiles.
"Hello gorgeous" you said smiling. Your hand placed the loose strand of hair which had fallen in front of her face behind her ear as you memorized every feature of her face. She looked beautiful.
Feli blushed under your gaze, shyly looking away while she tried to control her breathing. "So, aside from taking my breath away, what do you do for a living?" you asked with a cheesy grin covering your face. The defender rolled her eyes, playfully pushing you away yet her heart racing.
The moment you joined Wolfsburg, there was the massive attraction towards the brunette and you tried to ask her out with your famous pick up lines but she just brushed them off. You kept trying though.
"Stay." you told her sternly, grabbing her wrist as she was about to walk to her team mates, "I didn’t know what I wanted in a woman until I saw you."
Again with a roll of her eyes, she brushed you off like you were a nothing. Even If you didn‘t want to admit it, your heart stung. Every time, every ignorance of your presence, every brush off, you heart broke a bit more.
-
You let out a scream of pain as Laura Freigang tackled you, your body flying over the pitch before you landed in the grass. Your shoulder made a weird noice, knees scraping along the dirty pitch.
Feli was the first by your side, shoving Laura away who tried to apologize. Your face was hidden in the grass as you held your shoulder, tears streaming down your face.
"Can you sit up for me?" Felicitas asked, herself getting anxious because the medic took so long. With a grunt, you did as she wished, holding your shoulder with a death grip. For sure, it wasn‘t the thing you should do but it was out of reflex, you had to put pressure on the pain.
"My shoulder" you said through gritted teeth, "it cracked"
The brunettes face went pale, did you really just said cracked?!
When the medics arrived, the defender felt a kind of relief knowing you were in safe hands yet seeing your face scrunch in pain hurt her too. "She‘s going off, right?!" she asked, panic radiating in her voice. "What? No!" you interrupted her, "just tape it or something!" you told the medic, about to get up. "Stay the fuck down!" You had never heard the German curse or so scared. As she squatted down, you locked eyes, "you‘re crying, your shoulder hurts, you‘re getting subbed off. You will accept it, thank the medics and do as they told. Understood?" Your mouth fell agape, so bossy. Nodding in respond, you let the medic take you of the pitch as he talked about your injury and pain.
As you sat in the physio room, there was an ice pack on your shoulder to prevent further swelling and you were high on painkillers, babbling about something without someone in the room.
When the final whistle blew, Feli immediately left the field, searching for you. "How are you?" she asked as she saw your laying figure. Looking up to see the prettiest girl, you gave her a lopsided smile. "I’m coooool" you answered, the defender smiling lightly.
"Come here" you mumbled, "do you happen to have a Band-Aid? ‘Cause I scraped my knees falling for you." giggling at your pick up line, you didn‘t see the way her cheek caught fire and burnt red.
-
You were ruled out for a few weeks due your shoulder injury yet that didn‘t stop you from flirting with your favorite german player.
"I would never play hide and seek with you because someone like you is impossible to find."
"Hm" like usually, she rolled her eyes, walking past you.
Yet the soft smile that she sent you across the field later on, made your heart skip multiple beats. Maybe there was still a chance even if her answers grew short by every day that went by.
"Why don‘t you tell her that you like her?" Svenja asked the young woman who she had known for years.
"I don’t like her" she replied instantly.
"So how did you know who I was talking about?"
Caught in her own excuse, she smiles shyly before settling into a thoughtful expression, "she‘s- i don‘t know" Feli shrugged, eyes looking away from you as you walked in the facility.
"I don‘t think she wants the same thing I want"
"Why‘s that?" the blonde asked as they started to pass the ball, absently.
"You know the reputation she has, always flirting with everybody and sleeping around. I don‘t want to be a one night stand"
In the meantime while Svenja talked to Feli about you, Alexandra talked to you about Feli.
The Og-german players watched you dance around your feelings, Felicitas with her obvious ignorance and you with your flirty nature. They both knew there was something between the two of you, but not how both of you would realize it, so they made a plan - at least to get you on the right track and provide some clarity.
"So Feli, huh?" Alex asked, smirking. You blushed under her intense gaze, looking to the ground as you played with your fingers, "she‘s pretty amazing, yeah" you admitted, for the first time ever.
"So are you gonna ask her out?"
Looking up, you answered, "I did once but she just brushed me off, like always" you mumbled the last past yet still audible for Alex who had a pitty look on her face, "will you ask again?"
"Probably not. I flirt with her all the time only to be ignored in the end" you sighed, your fingers holding the bridge of your nose, "i don‘t get it. Sometimes she makes me think that she likes me too and then nothing"
"Can you blame her? You had quite the reputation before you came here"
You looked at Poppi with shook in your eyes and disgust on your face, "does she really think that? That she’s a fling?" you hated yourself for your behaviour in your past, you knew someday it will haunt you down - like it would now.
For the first time in years, you fell in love, actually in love, and the girl you liked thought bad of you, that you would use her.
"Did she reject me because of that?"
The older woman saw the hurt flash in your eyes - something she shouldn’t see.
"I don‘t know. I didn‘t even know that you asked her out. But i know you‘re not the person you used to be. You‘re a good person."
-
Felicitas noticed the change instantly, how you wouldn‘t flirt with her anymore, how you didn‘t greet her with a pick up line, how you barely talked to her. She didn‘t ask you about it, she just accepted it.
Svenja and Alex quickly realized that they worsened the relationship between the two of you rather than helping you to realize the feelings behind each others facades.
-
As you were able to play again, the champions league match against Arsenal was the perfect opportunity to show that you’re back better than ever. The first leg ended in a 2-2 draw yet it felt awesome to be back on the pitch again and when you scored Feli couldn‘t help the pride that washed over her body. She knew you waited long for the come back.
"Looking stunning as always" the blonde defender of Arsenal greeted you as she hugged you. Leah Williamson and you go way back, knowing each other since you were little and playing together in the national team. She was the sister you never had, the shoulder to cry on when ever you felt like it. "Not bad yourself" you joked, walking around together, arms around each others waist.
Feli hated the sight in front of her, the way you would smile at the skipper or laugh at something she said. She should be at your side instead of Leah.
"You good?" Svenja asked as she saw the growl on the brunettes face.
"Everything is perfectly fine" she answered, sarcasm laced in her voice as her eyes were still drained on your walking figure. "Back at her old habits, just great" she scowled, leaving the pitch without looking back. She didn‘t take pictures with fans nor signed anything, anger rushing through her veins.
"What‘s wrong with her?" Leah asked as she saw your favorite girl walking with quick steps away.
"Don‘t know. We‘re not talking at the moment" you muttered.
"What?! Why? I thought you liked her"
"I do. She just thinks I’m-"
"She thinks she‘s gonna be a fling, right?"
"Jup"
"You’re so stupid sometimes" she smacked the back of your head, "show her that she isn‘t"
"I tried!"
"Not hard enough apparently. 10£ she thinks you‘re flirting with me"
You looked at the skipper, confusion written over your face, what did she mean?
"Go" she pushed you away, towards the tunnel, giving you a reassuring nod, "seriously go!"
And you did. You ran after the brunette, calling her name. In the changing room, she sat in her cubby, head resting in her hands. "Felicitas" you said, voice low, you didn‘t want to startle her.
Feli loved the way her name rolled over your tongue. You had never called her Feli once, always Felicitas. You were the only one besides her parents who were allowed to do that. "So you‘re talking to me, wow" the defender grumbled, aggressively wiping away the few tears that left her eyes.
"Don‘t be mean"
"Mean?! You‘re the one who ignored me for weeks" she yelled as she stood up.
Matching her tone, "I know!" you sighed, "I know, okay?"
"You’re an idiot!" Felis anger was bubbling out of her, "you’re an idiot for making me fall for you!" she continued to ramble about your behavior how stupid you were for ignoring her, for making her feel worthless.
"I didn‘t talk to you because you thought you’re a fling to me! I didn‘t want you to think that"
"So you‘re flirting with Williamson? That’s low, even for you"
"Why the fuck are putting words in my mouth?" you were pacing around the changing room, Feli following every movement of yours, "you- bloody hell, Felicitas! Why are you making this so hard?"
"I‘m making this hard?! You‘re the one-"
"Stop it right now. I didn‘t flirt with Leah, gosh ew. We‘ve known each other since god knows when. And I didn‘t flirt with anyone besides you since I’m at Wolfsburg. Hell, you’re the only one I want to flirt with. You’re the only who I want to think that I’m a good person - not the person from my past. Felicitas, you‘re that one person to me!" You sat down, not meeting her eyes as you tried to control your emotions and your outburst.
The moment you arrived in Germany, you wanted to change. You transferred clubs to get a new chance, to prove everyone wrong. You didn‘t mean to fall in love with someone, you didn’t mean to flirt with her like in your old patterns but you couldn’t help it. With Feli everything felt different. Everything felt easy, you felt at peace. Wolfsburg felt like a new home. She felt like home.
"You‘re in love with me, too? It‘s not some weird-"
"Of course I am!" you interrupted her, making your statement clear. "How can I show you that I mean it? That I mean everything when I’m with you?" you asked with pleading eyes, eyes full of hope and regret.
"Take me out on a date" even after yelling, crying and running for more than 90 minutes, she looked absolutely breathtaking. It was a good thing that you were sitting otherwise you‘re knees would‘ve betrayed you.
"Deal"
In that moment, you promised yourself to treat her better than anyone could.
-
It didn‘t take Feli long to realize that you meant what you said that day in the locker room. The few little dates you had were more than perfect, you treated Felicitas like you promised and the way she deserved. Both of you seemed happier with each other and at Champions league final -1, you asked her to be your girlfriend.
Your heart fluttered every time you thought about the answer, "yes"
Maybe your past wasn‘t the greatest but the universe did give you another chance which you gladly accepted.
You showed the world that you deserved it.
You showed football fans all of your talent, getting nominated for the Ballon d‘or.
You showed your family and friends the vulnerable, caring and loving side of yourself.
And you showed Felicitas that she did the right thing with saying yes to be your girlfriend.
Felicitas was the one person that changed you for the better and you will thank and love her forever because of everything and more.
