・𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 — bestfriend!lee felix x fem!reader ・𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 — best friends to lovers , fluff ・ 𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 — long exhausting day turned out to be the confession you've been needing・𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 — cringe , eventual kiss , lmk if anything else・𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 — 967 ・𝐑𝐈𝐑𝐈'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 — thank you so much to @breakmeoff for having me!!
divider by @lariesographic
you didn’t even get your shoes off when felix was tugging you into the kitchen like a golden retriever in human form.
“y/n, please,” he begged, lips already pouted in that irresistible, boyish way. “bake with me. i had the worst day ever, and i need your company before i spontaneously combust.”
you arched an eyebrow. totally tired, totally ready to take a shower and hop into bed—but somehow not immune to his theatrics.
“lixie, my brain is fried- completely burnt.”
he stepped closer anyway, that smile running across his face.
“just gimme one hour. and- and i’ll clean everything. pretty please?” you sighed; defeated by the softness in his eyes, the heat in his tone. “fine. but only because you look like a puppy.”
he grinned like you handed him a trophy.
you dropped your bag by the door, shoulders loosening for probably the first time all day. felix handed you an apron, and your fingers brushed his. a jolt of static ran through you in that tiny touch—like the first spark before a flame lights.
you pulled the apron on, letting it wrap around you, and then he stood behind you to tie it. his hands brushed your lower back. felix's hands were gentle, careful, & tentative.
“alright, mr. lee,” you murmured. “let’s make these cookies.” felix’s grin turned soft, nostalgic. “your favorite recipe.”
the kitchen's aroma was filled with scents like cinnamon and sugar. flour dusted the countertop, white as fresh snow under the soft glow of the kitchen lights. felix measured out the dry ingredients —flour, cocoa, a pinch of salt—while you cracked eggs into a bowl, careful so shells didn’t sneak in.
he hummed softly while mixing, like he was trying too hard not to think about the stress of the day. you stirred the batter gently, watching the dough darken and thicken, rich and inviting. when the cookies were ready to go into the oven, you pressed each one by hand, shaping them roughly—round, lumpy circles, not perfect, but yours. felix pressed a thumbprint in the center of a few, grinning over at you.
“these are gonna taste like shit,” he teased, wiping flour off his nose and flicking a little at you.
you laughed—a genuine, tired laugh—and flicked some back. you and felix’s laughter filled the warm air. puffs of flour fell from the clap of his hands—felix always clapped his hands when laughed.
everything felt like home.
when the cookies went in, you stood side by side, leaning against the counter. the blurry oven light glowed behind the dusted glass, illuminating the soft mounds of rising dough.
felix reached over, brushing flour off your sleeve.
“thanks for doing this with me,” he said quietly. “you always-” felix hesitated. “you always make it better.” your heart stuttered; that familiar ache—the tone that said he meant more than “just best friends.”
you offered him a half-smile. “i mean… you called lix. and baking therapy sounded better than crying in the shower.” he tilted his head, studying you like learning a language he forgot he knew. his eyes softened—the coffee color bright and wanting under golden light.
“i love this,” felix murmured. “i love how… easy it feels with you.”
your gaze dropped to the oven timer, then back to him. you wanted to tease him, brush it off like you always did. but something in the air stopped you. you were tired of pretending you didn't want him—that your heart heated with love that's not for a best friend.
when the timer dinged, you pulled the tray out together. the cookies were steaming hot, edges crisp, centers still looking soft. after about 5 minutes of letting them cool, you took one & pressed it between your fingers, and offered it to felix.
he took it, jaw soft, eyes locked on yours. “taste test lix,” you said with a comforting smile decorating your face. felix bit it—eyes closing, his lips sporting crumbs. “not bad,” he said, mouth full. “not bad at all y/n.” you giggled, leaning back against the counter.
the kitchen was quiet except for the soft hum of the oven cooling down and the muffled sounds of the outside city. felix glanced at you a little hesitantly before speaking.
“y/n…” he said, voice low. “can i ask you something kinda serious?” your brows lifted, playful. “since when has any question from your lips been serious?” felix chuckled, but his body language was speaking for him, “why do we always act like we’re… just best friends?”
your breath hitched & your heartbeat spiked—you've been avoiding this all night. although, you didn’t pretend you didn’t feel it anymore. the ache of possibility of what you two could be.
you stared at him—really stared. and you saw highschool, debut, laughter, tears, late-night jokes… and something else. the feeling of forever with him was something you could picture.
your voice was barely audible. “maybe because we were too scared to ruin what we had.” felix nodded slowly, “maybe.” the air around you—flour-dusted & sugar-infused; felt too thick and charged with tension.
felix leaned in like time slowed down just for you. you eventually closed the space between you;
and kissed him.
tenderly, needy, electric; pulse spiking. the kind that tastes like cinnamon, sugar, the promise of something forever. then you pulled away, foreheads pressed together, the world felt smaller, quieter—safer. like it was supposed to be.
felix smiled—tentative, hopeful, like he was rediscovering something precious. “so,” he whispered, voice ragged but heated in the best way, “are we…done being just best friends?” you breathed against his lips, comforted by the faint warmth of the cookies in your hands. “yeah,” you whispered back. “i think it’s time we stop pretending.”
and in that kitchen, bathed in warm yellow light and lingering aroma of sugar and spice—you both began something new.
7:12 am. lee felix. i belong nowhere but in your arms.
he was impeccable. truthful, in beauty. irreplaceable - your heart strings pull vicious. you’re swallowed with adoration, soft like a blanket it swallows you into a timeless embrace. there was a place, inside your mind, where you could dance. dance. and be. stardust falls from the sky in glittery pillows and tufts. the stars hand him their essence, soft hands - glowing and warm to the touch. they smile upon him, thanking him. and their knuckles run over the swells of his cheeks, the tender bridge of his nose, and intermingle with the hair in his brow. you imagine he’d sat up from bed, his hand planted firmly to still him in his place - and he’d stroke the stars in the sky, their cheeks, their brow, and they would place their sweetness on his cheeks. “there’s many of us.” they’d say. frozen in great form over his eyes that shine with their light. “we’re with you.” and there they lasted, on his cheeks, his shoulders, his nose. sprinkles of starlight they left with him, and even now, you smile at the thought.
the stars have left, but the sun embraces them in it’s warmth, promising to take care of the horizon while they were away. your legs remain comfortably burrowed in the white of his comforter, your elbow keeping you propped at his side dutifully. he sleeps sweetly; even like this he remained utterly perfect. in his dreams you’d hold him still, ever awaiting your arms with a promise. cuts of warm sunlight speak in fractals on the ground and over the bed where you both lay. a single shred peaks out from beyond the blinds, it’s thin length stretches over his jaw, cupping it with grace - and the warmth in his skin beams. “even the sun wishes to greet you.” you smile, raising your wrist with purpose as your gaze washes over him. with a tremorous hand you place your thumb on the cut of sunlight, meeting it’s touch on his face and stroking it lovingly.
your cup overflows for him. your heart swells, throbs, and swallows your inside whole. what were you to do, what were you to do. it was hopeless really; the yield of love you held for him. it spills over, like a kitchen sink of cool water. breathing cannot soothe the ache within the confines of your ribcage - though you breathe in hopes of calming it. with every ounce of your being you’re afraid. you can’t let him go. you couldn’t.
your eyes tremble over his sleeping form. every time you look at him. every single time. you feel the urge to just cry. beautiful wasn’t the word, no. you must do him the justice of finding something greater. you exhale, the sun is beginning to grow in it’s golden hue. he stirs in his sleep.
“what am i to do?” you smile, the corners of your mouth wrinkling tenderly as you stroke his cheek again. as sleep leaves him with a soft goodbye, his arm stretches beneath the covers, reaching blindly for any purchase of you he could find, and rests his hand on the swell of your hip, eyes fluttering - stunning.
you lean forward, pressing your lips to his forehead between his gentle brow. he closes his eyes at the feeling, his body rolling to press close to you. “home.” you mutter against him.
“you’re home…” he mumbles.
your arm stretches over him, the crinkle of the bed like music. the sun now stretches over your arm, in it’s fractal you feel it’s warmth, and wish it a soft good morning at it’s own sweetness. you lay into the bed, not for a moment able to deny him of the safety of your arms - that of a promise. your eyes gloss over, your lips fight a losing battle to not tremble.
“i love you, but…” you swallow, he stretches his arms around your waist, his face tucking tenderly into the soft skin of your neck - his breath washing over your skin. “that would never be enough to say.” he presses his lips to the flesh of your jaw.
hiii could I request something re: perv!felix? or maybe virgin!felix 😌
Pairings: Sub!Felix x Dom!Reader
Genre: Mature
Content Warnings: perv!Felix who's also a virgin, mentions panty stealing, non-consensual voyeurism, humiliation, cock stepping as punishment, dry humping, degradation, use of pet names (like pup and mutt), slight overstimulation, mentions of pegging.
Word Count: 1.7k words
He knew that what he was doing was wrong. God, it was wrong but he just couldn't help himself, especially when he's peeping through your bedroom door, watching you fuck yourself with your dildo. This has become a common occurrence for him; he was your roommate, the two of you have been sharing this apartment for almost two years now and have become good friends because of it. And because of that, it gives him a perfect opportunity for things like this.
It all started when he came home earlier than usual. Just as he was about to call out for your name to see if you're home, he hears noises faintly echoing throughout the flat. Felix may be a virgin, but he's not stupid enough to not register those noises that he hears as moaning. Maybe I should just leave, he thought to himself. It would be wrong to just stick around and listen to you pleasuring yourself, but for some odd reason, he couldn't find the will to move his feet. Maybe just a quick peek won't hurt. As long as she doesn't find out right? He finds himself reasoning out.
It was all a blur, really. Later on, he finds himself by your door that was slightly open, his hard cock on his hand, pumping it at the same pace as your dildo that slides in and out of your slick pussy. And just when you were about to cum, Felix cums before you, the sight of you slowly losing it over your orgasm just tips him over the edge. Ever since then, he's never been the same. Now, he notices how curvy your hips look, or how plump your lips are, subtle things about you that he had failed to notice before.
And he hates it— hates how he's suddenly thinking about you in a way where he shouldn't in the first place, but the poor boy just can't help it. You're now the main character of his fantasies. He just wants to feel you, even just a small taste of what's it like to finally fuck you. His fantasies drive him mad to the point where he steals your panties from the laundry, using them to help himself get off. Just one sniff and he's gone, cumming almost immediately from the scent.
"Oh, fuck yeah. I'm gonna cum." He hears you moan out and Felix's cock twitches at the sound. Felix silently curses under his breath as he pumps himself faster, chasing his high. "You're about to cum too, right, Lixie?" He hears you say which made him stop dead in his tracks, eyes wide open in shock as his heart starts to rapidly pound against his chest. "Don't act so surprised now, Felix." You drawl out as you climb off of your bed. Felix lets out a surprised yelped when you suddenly pull him inside your room, quickly closing the door behind him and locking it. The boy just stares at you like a deer in headlights, eyes wide in panic. "I-I, uh. I was just passing through. I didn't mean to watch." He reasons out, averting his eyes from yours. He was lying and you knew. You always knew.
He wasn't as slick as he thought he was. At first, you got that really odd feeling that someone was watching you every time you shower or get dressed, or whenever you masturbated. You also realized that your underwear has gone missing one by one, even your favorite lace panties you would usually wear. Your questioning eventually came to an end when you found all of your missing underwear under Felix's bed one day when you accidentally dropped your phone while you were in his room. Even since then, you've grown to realize that he was watching you all along. You were mad of course, but for some twisted reason, you seem to also enjoy his little rendevous.
"You said you were just passing through but you've got your hand wrapped around your pretty cock." You purr against his ear as you toy with the tip of his dick with your thumb. The boy in front of you was beet red at this point as his chest heaves with anticipation, his cock twitching against your touch.
"Lying doesn't suit you, Felix." You say as you tuck his still hard cock back into his pants. Felix only stares at you in shock as you pull him towards your bed with confusion writen all over his features, not fully understanding what you were planning to do.
He doesn't even know if you were mad or happy, which only scares him even more.
"Kneel on the floor, pup." You tell him, the nickname slipping from your tongue which made Felix's cock twitch in his pants. As you sit on your bed before him, only clad with a loose shirt that you would usually wear on a lazy day, you watch as Felix gets on his knees, his hand moves to lay on his lap neatly. Silence then looms over the two of you as you observe the boy in front of you.
"Aren't you going to apologize, Lixie?" You voice out, finally breaking the silence. Felix audibly gulps before speaking. "I'm sorry, Y/n. I know what I did was very wrong. I'm so sorry." He was embarrassed to say the least. He couldn't even look at you in the eye. He knew this would happen if he didn't stop, but he was too selfish to even care, and now the consequences of his actions had finally caught up to him.
"Come on, Felix. I don't think that's a proper way to apologize. Look at me in the eye and repeat what you just said." You said as you crossed your legs, your tone rather bored. Felix heaves in a deep breath before slowly turning his head to face you, his eyes finally meeting yours for the first time today. "I-uh. I'm sorry... Y/n. What I did was wrong and was totally unacceptable." You nod along his words as your eyes never left his.
"I understand if you're not comfortable with me anymore and I also understand if you want to kick me out. I have no problems with that and--"
"Who said that I wanted to kick you out?" You interrupted him, completely catching him off guard. You chuckle as he looks at you with a confused expression, as if he was trying to decipher if you were only messing around him or not.
How could you not want to kick him out? He was sneaking around and watching you get off? Why weren't you mad.
"What's wrong, puppy? Surprised?" You asked him and he nods hesitantly, blushing at the nickname you gave him. "Why would I kick out such a pretty toy?" You ask, more to yourself than to him. "From the looks of it, you're just one needy little mutt that's desperate to get touched. Isn't that right?" Your foot sensually rubs along his thigh as you speak and Felix had to hold back a whimper.
He couldn't believe what was going on in front of him. Could it be that his fantasies are about to become a reality?
"I asked a question, Felix. Don't make me ask twice." Felix moans as soon as your foot comes in contact with his hard cock, applying adequate pressure onto it. "Y-yes. I'm just so needy, I'm sorry. Never been touched before." He pathetically whines out, his hips bucking onto your foot for some friction. You fake a gasp, mocking your surprise from his sudden revelation. "Felix? A virgin? Oh my, poor boy." You say rather out loud, applying more pressure on his aching length.
"You like being treated like this, don't you? You like getting your pathetic little cocklet getting stepped on." The pressure was driving Felix insane. It was starting to get a bit painful, but at the same time, it felt so good. He doesn't know if it only feels good because it actually does or if it's just his desperation to finally be touched, but Felix doesn't mind. What matters to him now is that his cock was finally getting some attention.
"Fuck, yes. Love being treated like his." You whines out as he ruts against your foot, desperate for his release. "You're so pathetic, do you know that?" Felix only mindlessly nods at your words and you scoff. "You're nothing but a perv, peeping on helpless girls like me and stealing my panties. You should be disgusted of yourself." His cock twitches at your words and you felt it. "Oh wow. Is this turning you on, mutt?" You earn a whimper in reply which only made you step against his cock harder. Felix only moans at the sensation, now rutting into you a lot faster as he chases his high. "Yeah, that's it. You're so desperate to fucking cum ti the point where your fucking into my foot like a bitch in heat. Can you get anymore pathetic?"
Your words stung, but the harsher your words were, the harder Felix's cock gets. Every single word goes straight to his cock and it drives him absolutely crazy.
"Fuck, I'm gonna cum." Felix announces, his hips now stuttering as he feels his high creeping in. "Go on, pup. Make a mess." With a couple more thrusts, Felix does so as he cums with a high pitched moan. His sticky release stains on thr fabric of his boxers and pants but Felix couldn't care less, his hips slightly jolting with every pump of his cock as he finishes.
You watch as Felix just cums undone under you, his eyes closed in bliss as he catches his breath. "Tired already, pup?" You question him and he slightly nods, now opening his eyes to look at you. "Aww, that's too bad." You say as you start to apply pressure on his now sensitive cock again making him curse out, his hands flying to stop your foot. You quirk an eyebrow towards him in a questioning manner and you click your tongue. Felix only looks at you with pleading eyes as you shake your head.
"We're just getting started, mutt. I'm still gonna fuck your pretty ass open so be a good boy and take it."
authors note: suddenly got a good idea for a series, decided to write this to see if it’d actually be a good idea or if i’m just too tired to think straight lmao
Felix never liked being the centre of attention. The feeling of eyes constantly trained on him as he went about his day was enough to make his skin crawl. It didn’t help that he managed to stand out so clearly in a crowd so it came as no surprise when he caught you staring at him from across the campfire.
Leaning against a tree with a branch you had been carving into an arrow in hand, it was amazing how you hadn’t accidentally cut yourself yet.
The flames acted as a barrier between you two but even with the flames licking high up in the air, Felix still caught your gaze that seemed to stare into his soul.
It sent shivers down his spine. Different from sickening feeling of his skin crawling and instead replaced discomfort with nervousness.
What was so intriguing about him that you felt the need to stare? What was there about him that you didn’t already know? He was an open book to you but if that were the case why were you staring at him like he was something new?
Hello Traveler! Care for a warm cup of Tea or a snack, maybe a story?
I feel as if I should warn a caution regarding these stories. If would would like your childhood to not being ruined, I would refrain from any stories that show a ‘*’ next to them. Those stories are either violence, sexual, or another type of adult content, and are very dark. That being said, please enjoy if you do decide to read :)
Alice in Wonderland
OT8
Preview
Moodboard
Beauty and the Beast
Bang Chan
Warnings: Sexual Content, Manipulation, Abuse,
Preview
Moodboard
Cinderella
Kim Seungmin
Coming Soon
Cupid and Psyche
Hwang Hyunjin
Coming Soon
The Enchanted Princess
Lee Felix and Yang Jeongin
Coming Soon
The Frog Prince
Lee Felix
Coming Soon
The Frog Princess
Hwang Hyunjin
Coming Soon
Goldilocks and the Three Bears
3racha
Coming Soon
Hans My Hedgehog
Han Jisung
Coming Soon
Jack the Giant Killer
Seo Changbin
Coming Soon
The Little Mermaid
Hwang Hyunjin
Warnings: Manipulation, Violence and Gore, Sexual Content, Mentions of Prostitution, Nudity,
Summary: you had broken up with felix a year ago suddenly, telling him you wanted to focus on your career and so should he. a year later, he’s still trying to find a new normal after being numb to the world. he’s so numb in fact he doesn’t feel the earthquake that ripped through the city. he only notices when you message him for the first time in months.
Warning(s): mentions of alcohol and drinking (drink responsibly)
Words: 3k
A/N: hello! so this is my first fanfic that i’m posting on here now that i have a new tumblr dedicated solely to kpop. i’ll be posting a lot on here hopefully and currently my requests are open! this wasn’t proofread so if anyone wants to send me any edits about grammar, spelling, punctuation etc. feel free to! i wrote this based on felix singing “if the world was ending” during the chicago show of the maniac tour, his voice was heavenly and this idea popped into my head.
I was distracted and in traffic. I didn’t feel it when the earthquake happened.
Felix was on his way back to the dorm when the ground started to shake underneath the company car. Apparently it was significant enough to cause all the traffic on the road to slow down to a slow pause, all the tail lights lighting up in an angry red at the sudden disruption. Felix wasn’t really paying attention, music blaring in his headphones while his mind was lost in thought. He found himself doing that a lot lately; getting so lost in thought that the world disappeared around him and he blocked out reality.
It wasn’t until one of his bandmates hit his shoulder did he snap back to the waking world. He pulled out his earbuds and looked back at Lee Know whose eyebrows were furrowed up. “What?”
“Did you not feel that?” The oldest member in the car asked, seeing the confusion on his face. When the Australian shakes his head, he continues, “There was a massive earthquake that happened just now.”
“When we get back to the dorm,” Their manager starts, driving the car and starting to pull ahead. “If there’s any aftershock, meet in the lounge.”
The man nods, then slowly puts his headphones back in and hears the notification sound rip through his music.
y/n: did you feel that?
It’s been a year now. Think I’ve figured out how, how to let you go and let communication die out.
Felix wasn’t exactly expecting you to message him just then. It had been quite a while, close to four months since he last heard from you. You two had dated for quite a while and things were going well for you two. But a year ago, the relationship ended and you two went your separate ways. It wasn’t a bad break up, per se, but it still hurt for you both nonetheless.
You were friends beforehand and you somewhat stayed friends afterwards, though things weren’t the same as they were before. They never are. When the relationship ended, you two continued to talk for a while, still depending on each other for things and support even though it hurt him to see you. So he started to filter himself out of your life. Trying to get him to heal from the sudden absence of you, he started to distance himself. He would take longer to respond to you, he would lie and tell you he’s busy, he would avoid the places he knows you frequent even if he’s the one who introduced you to those places first.
Now that it had been a year since the breakup, he found things are simultaneously easier and harder. It was easier to stop himself from messaging you but he couldn’t bring himself to delete any of your messages. It was easier to fall asleep when he didn’t think about you, but on the nights he craved your existence it felt like burning agony. Felix could find other things to smile about, yet he would always want to share those things with you.
I know you know we know you weren’t down for forever and it’s fine. I know you know we know we weren’t made for each other and it's fine.
From Felix’s perspective, he didn’t know how long you two would last but he had hoped it’d be a long time. You had been together for longer than any of his other relationships which gave him that hope. Then when things started to come to a head for the both of you in your lives, something changed. He didn’t know when you had gotten so serious about future plans, so he was taken aback when you had told him you felt it’d be better to go separate ways then and there.
It was a civil and intense conversation. Neither of you raised your voices, presented pros and cons of the relationship, and talked through future plans. The one thing that hurt him the most in the conversation, though, was how you had insinuated that he couldn’t guarantee what his life would be like with you the more famous he got. To him, it felt like you didn’t trust him to love you, to take care of you, to protect you. That wasn’t how you intended that statement, but it’s what he felt.
So you two broke up.
He didn’t know you were waging a war against yourself every day because of what you thought was the right choice, he didn’t know how much you wanted to be enough for him but never could be in your own eyes, he didn’t know that you blame yourself so much it had affected your whole future.
Felix: surprisingly no, but everyone else did. you okay?
It didn’t take Felix long to see another response from you, and his heart twisted roughly in his chest.
y/n: not really…can I come over?
But if the world was ending you’d come over, right?
His heart rate quickened at your question, knowing what his gut and what his head said are two very different things. He didn’t know if you were just waiting for a reason to message him or had forgotten about him until now. He decided to swallow down his resolve and message you back.
Felix: yeah, I’ll be back to the dorm in about ten
I tried to imagine your reaction. It didn’t scare me when the earthquake happened.
When you saw the message from Felix, you decided to wipe your mascara tear stained eyes and get yourself around. You hadn’t been scared from the earthquake that you felt. You had already been drinking for about two hours and were emotionally drained and wrecked. If anything, the earthquake shook you back into reality. You were jolted out of your spiraling thoughts by the sudden shaking of your apartment. Some of your photo frames fell from the walls. One of your ceramic figures fell from your shelf and is now sitting in 3 pieces on the hardwood floor. The cup of last night’s tea you had left on the corner of the coffee table is now spilled on the floor. Your apartment was an accurate representation of how you felt. Discombobulated. Broken. Disastrous.
You didn’t expect Felix to answer you at all. You weren’t stupid, you knew he had distanced himself from you. You knew he was building a wall between you two. So you could only imagine his reaction to the intense shaking. But his reaction told you more than he actually did. So you pick yourself up and stumble around to grab your things.
But it really got me thinking, the night we went drinking, stumbled in the house and didn’t make it past the kitchen.
When you were with Felix, things were great. You had anything you could ever want: a loving, kind, generous, well mannered man who would do anything to make sure you had everything and more, even if you didn’t ask for it. In your eyes, he was perfect. He would listen to you on your bad days and offer you advice or just someone to complain to. He would treat you to the pastries he bought on his way to your place to surprise you. He would tell you every day, sun up and sun down, that he loved you.
When you would go to secret bars and drink, disguising his identity to ensure your privacy, the best conversations would happen. How do bees smell when they don’t have noses? What hair color should he try next? Would an octopus wear eight shoes, eight gloves, or four shoes and four gloves? Those conversations always left you two laughing unapologetically.
And when you returned to your place, you would barely make it to your living room before he would tackle you and pepper your lips in kisses. Behind closed doors, Felix was the most affectionate man you had ever met. He couldn’t get enough of you. He had to be touching you, holding you, kissing you. So he would fall back on the couch with you, holding you securely in his arms as he praised you and worshiped you. Everything felt perfect.
It’s been a year now, think I’ve figured out how, how to think about you without it ripping my heart out.
You knew it was your fault. You knew it was your own insecurity that led to you breaking up with him. But he was a champ when you explained your reasoning. You had told him about how you were supposed to be moving up in your work, up to essentially the director position of your branch. You would need to move when that happened, away from him. You told him with the success of his recent tour, he would only get bigger and bigger and it would be harder to hide your relationship from the public eye. You said you both deserved more than to deny each other’s existence, especially when distance will separate you even further than you already were. And that was true.
What you didn’t tell him was that you were afraid. You were afraid to lose him. You were terrified that with not being there anymore, he would find someone much better than you and leave you. You wouldn’t blame him, there are many other people out there who had a lot to offer him that you couldn’t. So you let it eat away at you, him never knowing your true feelings about that.
You hated yourself and your insecurities for drowning out your sense of logic. Logically, you knew Felix would love you no matter what. But deep down you felt like you didn’t deserve it. You would think of who would be better for him and that list only grew as time went on. Your little shred of hope was still there when you kept in touch with him, hoping he would tell you how much he missed you and wanted to get back together. Pitiful thinking, you knew, so you stopped thinking. You didn’t think about him. You didn’t think about yourself. You drowned out every thought you could with work and alcohol at times. It was the only thing that prevented your heart from tearing itself apart.
I know you know we know you weren’t down for forever and it’s fine. I know you know we know we weren’t made for each other and it's fine.
You were simultaneously shocked but also expectant of how Felix reacted. He was surprised at your sudden proclamation of wanting to break up, told you the reasons he didn’t want to, but eventually conceded to what you wanted. He agreed with you that the future was uncertain, that he didn’t know what the future had in store for you two. He didn’t know how hard it would be to keep your relationship blossoming.
What hurt you, which logically shouldn’t have, was how little he fought to keep you two together. You knew Felix, he would do whatever you wanted. So if you wanted to break up, he wouldn’t trap you in the relationship forever. But he wasn’t overly emotional about the breakup. He told you that it was okay, that he understood, and wanted what’s best for you. He didn’t push on you that he was the best thing for you and vice versa, he didn’t plead to make a schedule of regular times you can meet or facetime to make sure the spark was kept alive, he didn’t tell you not to worry about the future and focus on the now.
So you broke up.
You didn’t know he cried himself to sleep for two weeks straight after the breakup, you didn’t know how much he beat himself up for not being selfish and telling you he wanted you forever, you didn’t know he regretted everything he might have said to make you believe you didn’t have a future together.
But if the world was ending you’d come over, right?
You had called an Uber to take you to the corner store, still very intoxicated and in no condition to drive. The air was chilly and you had on the only thing Felix didn’t ask back from you: the sweatshirt you wore when you came home from work until it stopped smelling like him. You stumbled from the store down the block to the dorm. You still remembered the combination to get into the building, burned in your memory from all the times you had come over.
You went into the elevator and your vision blurred, from the tears or the alcohol you couldn’t tell. So when it gently stopped on his floor, you wiped your eyes and walked out to find his front door. Being face to face with the dark oak was overwhelming but there was no way you could sprint out of there in the condition you were in. So you knocked.
It didn’t take more than two seconds for him to open it and be face to face with you. He still looked as gorgeous as ever, bare face and precious freckles adorning his cheeks. His face fell when he saw the state you were in and that is what ruined you. You never wanted to see him so concerned for you. His arms quickly pulled you into his chest and he held you tight as you started sobbing into him. Your arms wrapped around his neck while he clutched you around your waist. You couldn’t control your sobbing as he picked you up and took you to his room and closed the door behind him. As he sat on the bed, he could hear you mumble one thing,
“My whole world is ending and falling apart.”
Would you love me for the hell of it? All our fears would be irrelevant.
Felix gave you the time to cry it out before he said anything. He waited until your sobs were down to sniffles, when your body swayed slightly instead of shaking. He listened to you as you told him everything that happened. You told him how your future was fucked. You lost the one man you loved with all your heart. Your promotion was ripped from you because of your poor performance in those final months. You had to beg your landlord to let you stay in the apartment that was already being leased to someone else. You knew exactly where you fucked up and it was all because you broke up with him. You told him your insecurities you felt and still feel. You told him how you were wrong, so very fucking wrong.
You sit there, wiping your eyes for the millionth time, looking at his chest. “I never stopped lovin’ you, ‘nd I don’ expect you to take me back, I wouldn’ take me back bein’ like this either.”
Felix rests one of his hands against your cheek, feeling how warm it is. He notices just how much you pent up, evident in your tears still falling after an hour of you being here plus however long you were crying for before you came over. His heart breaks seeing you like this, how you both made dumb decisions and are paying the price.
“I wanna go back to that day ‘nd tell myself how stupid I am for lettin’ you go.” You mumble, eyes closing as you press yourself further into his palm.
“Hey,” He gently scolds you while his own tears well up in his eyes. “You’re not stupid, alright? I’m sorry that I made you feel insecure. It was my job as your boyfriend to make sure you were loved and cared for and knew how amazing you are. And I didn’t do my job.”
“Felix…” Your hand rests on his wrist, seeing the water flow down his cheeks.
“I’m not afraid to admit I was wrong, too. I should’ve fought harder.”
No, there wouldn’t be a reason why we would even have to say goodbye.
You smile at him lightly. Your arms wrap around his this time, giving him comfort at how both of you fucked up. His breath is hot against your neck, burning his face into you. This is the most comfort both of you have felt in that year of turbulence, navigating life without each other. You don’t have to think about the future right now. You can focus on each other, being together, sharing what’s been troubling you for the past year.
That night was the most refreshing night you’ve had in a while. You didn’t let each other go as you sobered up and listened to him, as he rubbed your back while you talked. There was no problem solving for you two; you both knew you couldn’t do that tonight. Whatever you two had to work through had to be saved for a later date when you had the mental fortitude to have that kind of conversation. But one thing Felix said returned that spark of hope you had,
“I don’t want to say goodbye.”
I know you know we know you weren’t down for forever and it’s fine. I know you know we know we weren’t made for each other and it's fine.
No, you and Felix weren’t meant for each other. You knew that from the start. You could see the flaws in him and he could see the flaws in you. You both had topics you would disagree on. Even at the peak of your relationship, you two argued. It was what you learned and what happened afterwards is what built you to be for each other.
You both learned that every opinion, thought, idea, and stance was multifaceted. You didn’t only have to see one side. Not everyone reacts the same way to situations. There was much more to love than finding someone attractive and enjoying their company. It was the intrigue of the multifaceted, the balance of stability and spontaneity, the reassurance and acts of being appreciated, the way you were around that person and how they made you feel, the growing separate but together, the growing together in the relationship. Being apart for that year made the both of you realize what exactly your love was lacking and that it’s not the end. There’s still room to improve.
You weren’t made for each other, but you could make yourself better for each other.
Heya, how you doing today <33 I’m going insane over hyunjin, jisung, and felix rn. I just got into the fandom and they seem like they would be such dedicated subs I literally just wanna ravage them ARGH. Just me? I would love to hear what u think ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) about them and the rest of skz too
welcome ahhh🤍🤍🤍
i put these three in 2 different categories of sub. like i see felix as the obedient type of sub that would practically worship the ground you walk on and would do absolutely anything to please you or make you happy. where as i see hyunjin and jisung as the brats of the group without a doubt but i think that’s given at this point. i think they would be the ones to give you attitude back if you tried to put them in place, tried getting them to submit to you would be a bit more of a task with them than with felix. they would take a bit of edging and/or overstimulation to get them to fully be in the palm of your hand.
32. "What if you stayed over? Just tonight" | fluff ver. დ
pairing: felix x reader
-> angst ver. | prompt list
Your boyfriend is finally back in town after being on tour for so long, and all you wanted was to have him all for yourself, and all he wanted was to have you all to himself. So, as soon as he got back, he went straight to your apartment without even stopping by the dorm, bringing bags and all with him.
You were so excited about his arrival that you couldn’t stay still, spending a whole hour sitting down, standing up, walking around, rearranging the decoration, sitting down again, until you heard the doorbell ring and almost teleported yourself to the door, jumping towards the blond boy throwing your hands around his neck and your legs around his waist, sliding down slowly since he wasn’t ready to catch you properly.
“Lix!!! I missed you so much babe!” you pull him in for a kiss as soon as your feet touch the ground, both of you smiling against each other’s lips.
“I missed you too (y/n), so, so much!” he says as you both get inside, hugging you from behind by your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder while planting soft kisses on your neck, tickling you in the process which makes you giggle like a kid.
You grab his hand and walk with him to the couch, sitting down and tapping your lap indicating for him to lay down and rest his head there. And so he does, taking a deep breath while you caress his hair, and you feel him getting more relaxed by second, his eyes starting to shut down. You don’t say anything, just smiling to yourself, glad that he’s finally with you, not caring if you’re not talking nor doing anything particularly special, you just loved having him close to you. And knowing he could finally take a rest after being on the road for so long, working that hard made you feel more at ease.
You just stayed like that with him for a while, one hand in his hair, the other on top of his chest, your fingers intertwined with his, and even though you weren’t in a rather comfortable position you did feel comfortable, the physical contact made you feel safe and you also began to feel your eyes shutting slowly.
But your peace gets interrupted by some loud music that suddenly started playing next to you. Felix’s phone was ringing, startling both of you but, as he was about to pick up the call it just stops, leaving your sleepy selves confused.
“It’s my manager, I should probably get back to the dorm…” he grunts as he lets himself fall again on top of you, snuggling his head against you tummy. “I really don’t want to leave you, I’m sorry.”
“What if you stayed over?”, you suggest not too certain of it since he had never stayed over due to their strict rules and schedule, he looks up at you and scrunches his nose, and you knew exactly what it meant but, this time, just this time, you wouldn’t give up that easily, “Just tonight, Lix… let’s just pretend the phone call didn’t wake us up…”
That idea pleases him, and he looks up at you smiling, sparkling eyes irradiating a kind of happiness you haven’t seen for a while now. “Then I should probably turn this thing off.” He chuckles as he picks up his phone to prevent it from bothering you again.
