── ✶ In which .𖥔 ݁ ˖ Bf!Felix x Gn!Reader were supposed to go get piercings together, reader was feeling a bit impatient, went by themselves and made a little mistake . . .
[ eyisy’s note. ] Something small to thank u guys for being patient w me and to tell u that I will probably be fully active moving forward!! Anyways I hope u enjoy,, real ones know this acc happened to me a couple years ago
Taglist ,, @doliveiraa @danielle143 @yawwni @narratedforbutterflies @queenofdumbfuckery @ch3rry15pin @firstclassjaylee @saturncries @i-like-pandas5 @karlee10261990 @koiiq @lilyxii @hueningaholic @strawberristhings 𝜗𝜚 | click here if you'd like to be added or removed | masterlist here | feed back is very very much appreciated (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈)
𑁍ࠬ ܓ 𝑙𝘰𝜈𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑖𝑙 𓈒 𓈒 another day another repost, happy reading! (ᵕ—ᴗ—)
You knew the sky had been lying to you all morning.
It had that syrupy sort of brightness that doesn’t feel warm, just suspicious.. like the sun was peeking out of cotton clouds only to lull you into a false sense of security. And you, like a fool, believed it. Even as the air got denser, heavier, humid like a held breath.
Even as the wind picked up and whispered, you forgot your umbrella again.
But you didn’t really listen. You had earbuds in and a boyfriend who always said, 'You’ll be fine, baby, the sun is out!' and when Lee Felix says things, they sound like promises. Even when they’re just hopeful guesses.
Now, as you stand at the edge of campus with your arms hugged tight around your tote bag, staring down a wall of rain like it personally betrayed you, you regret everything.
It’s not a drizzle. No, it’s biblical. Thunder is laughing at you somewhere in the distance while your canvas shoes soak through in record time, squelching gently with each annoyed shift of weight.
And then—
You hear it. The slapping of fast footsteps. The squish-squish of someone absolutely booking it across campus pavement.
You barely turn before a blur of yellow and frogs barrels toward you.
“Baby!”
He’s yelling before he’s even halfway across the street, voice bright and sunny and too cheerful for someone getting soaked to the bone.
You blink.
“Why are you running-”
And then he’s there.
Felix skids to a stop in front of you, panting dramatically, holding the world’s tiniest, most offensively adorable umbrella. It’s lime green. With little frog eyes popping out on top. The handle is curved like a question mark and definitely designed for someone under the age of seven.
He beams. Water drips from his golden bangs, his hoodie is soaked through, and his jeans are sticking to his legs like wet napkins. He smells like rain and vanilla lip balm and that weird artificial grape gum he chews when he’s anxious.
You can’t help it.
You burst out laughing.
“Lixie—” you wheeze, covering your mouth, “What is that?”
“What?” he gasps, scandalized, holding the tiny umbrella above you like it’s sacred. “You don’t like Freddie the Frog? He’s saved me three times this week.”
“That umbrella is the size of a dinner plate.”
He shifts closer, tucking the umbrella lower, trying to fit you both beneath it, which… barely works. Your heads are nearly touching. Raindrops slip down your exposed shoulders and trail along the curve of your arm, cold as melted ice.
“You forgot yours again,” he sing-songs, nudging your cheek with his shoulder. “Didn’t I tell you it was gonna rain?”
“You also told me I’d pass my stats exam. And that chick-fil-a was open on sundays.”
“I never said that last one,” he grins, eyes creasing like sunshine through rainclouds. “that was wishful thinking. Big difference.”
You roll your eyes, still half laughing, and tilt your face upward to look at him. He’s beautiful in the most inconvenient way, wet hair curled over his forehead, lips pink from the cold, long lashes glinting with raindrops, and still smiling like he just saw a puppy in a window. You adore him. Unfortunately.
“I’m freezing,” you mutter, pressing your nose into the sleeve of his drenched hoodie.
“Then.. let’s run.”
“We’ll slip.”
“Then let’s slip together.”
You give him the flattest look you can manage through chattering teeth. “You’re insane.”
He grins and shifts the frog umbrella so it’s directly over you, exposing more of his own shoulder to the rain. He leans in close enough that you smell his fabric softener; the honey almond one you picked, and bumps his nose against yours, affectionately.
You feel it in your chest. That achey-sweet sort of I’m so in love with you it hurts to be mad feeling. It crawls up your throat and makes your words softer.
“You didn’t have to come all the way from your apartment, Lix.”
He shrugs. “You looked like a sad sock in the group chat. I had to save you.”
You frown. “I didn’t even say anything in the chat.”
“I could tell from your three read receipts.”
You blink. “You track my read receipts?”
He tilts his head, innocent. “I have my ways.”
You squint. “I love you, but you’re terrifying.”
He gasps, pressing a hand to his heart, mock-offended. “That’s not what you said last night when I made you grilled cheese at 1am. And gave you foot rubs.”
“That was love,” you murmur dramatically, “not logic.”
Felix giggles. A full, sweet, nose-scrunching sound that feels like fireworks under your ribs. He tucks your damp hair behind your ear and kisses your temple, then your cheek, then your forehead. You swear the rain pauses just for that.
“I love you,” he says simply.
Not in a loud way. Not like before. This one’s softer, and quieter. Like it’s meant to curl around your bones and stay there.
You close your eyes. You feel the way his hand slides down your arm, lacing fingers with yours, squeezing just enough to say, Hey, I’m here, still here, always.
And you smile.
“You’re such a frog,” you murmur.
“You love it.”
You press your face into his chest and sigh. “Unfortunately.”
You don’t remember who let go first.
Maybe it was you. Maybe your fingers slipped from Felix’s just slightly when your laughter bubbled up and spilled out of your mouth too fast for you to breathe properly. Or maybe it was him, eyes twinkling under frog eyes, hair dripping into his lashes, body humming with too much joy to stay still.
Either way, the umbrella falls.
It lands with a dramatic, soggy fwump between you both, tipping on its side like a defeated warrior. A puddle swallows it whole.
And then—
You look up.
And felix is grinning at you like he knows something you don’t.
“Don’t even think about it,” you say, backing up a step.
“Think about what?” he says, all innocent sunshine and soaked denim.
“Felix,” you warn, lips twitching.
And then he bolts.
Straight into the rain, arms out like he’s about to take flight, mouth open in a laughing whoop, kicking water into the air like a chaotic golden retriever.
“Oh my god, you’re such a gremlin—” you start, but you’re laughing too hard to finish.
He twirls.
Literally twirls. Like he’s in a musical. A very wet, very frog themed musical.
“C’mon!” he shouts over the rain, already drenched, hair sticking to his forehead in fluffy strands. “Live a little!”
“I am living!” you shout back, clinging to your tote like it’ll save you.
“Live more!”
And then he’s running at you again, barefoot now, of course, because Felix has no concept of weather appropriate behavior; and you shriek, trying to dodge, but he catches your wrist like a kid on a playground.
“Dance with me,” he says, eyes so wide and happy you swear the sky softens for him.
“I don’t dance in the rain! That's for peacocks.”
“You do now.”
And before you can argue, he tugs you into him.
You stumble, slip a little; your shoe skids on wet stone and your whole body collides into his chest, but he’s solid and warm despite the rain, and he’s already swaying you side to side like this is a slow song playing in his head.
It’s stupid.
It’s romantic.
It’s the most fun you’ve had all week.
“You’re insane,” you mutter into his soaked hoodie, your fingers curling instinctively into the soft, damp fabric.
“I’m your insane,” he says, and he says it like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
The rain drums all around you, cool and constant, pattering on your shoulders, your arms, the top of your head. The sound fills every space between you, but Felix still hums a melody low in his throat, some old r&b tune he always sings when he’s doing the dishes.
You smile against his shoulder. You can feel his heartbeat like a rhythm beneath your palm.
He spins you. Like a doofus. Like you’re at a ball. You’re soaked. You’re laughing. He steps on your foot and you yelp, but neither of you stop.
You twirl until you’re dizzy. Until the campus is a blur of grey and green and rain-slick bricks. Until your cheeks hurt from grinning and your knees feel like noodles.
And then— he pulls you back in.
Not like before.
Not goofy this time.
His hands slide down your arms, water trailing after his fingertips like liquid ribbon, and when his fingers lace with yours again, it’s slower. Like the moment caught up with him, too.
He steps close.
You tilt your face up.
Your lashes are wet, your lips chilled, your clothes soaked through and clinging like second skin. But you don’t feel cold. Not when his eyes look at you like that.
“Hiiii,” he whispers.
“Hi.” you whisper back.
He leans in and kisses you, soft, slow, full of rain and sweetness. It tastes like everything you missed about summer. Like warm air and sidewalk puddles and first crushes. His lips are plush, careful, his nose bumping yours, your bodies curved like commas into each other.
You kiss him again.
Because once isn’t enough.
Because nothing with Felix ever is.
When you pull back, he rests his forehead against yours. Your breath mingles in the tiny space between you, warm and foggy and close.
“Did you know,” he murmurs, “that frogs can’t swallow without blinking?”
You blink. “What?”
“It’s true.” he grins. “They push food down their throat by using their eyeballs.”
“That’s disgusting.”
“I’m just saying, Freddie the Frog is a survivor.”
You laugh again, the sound bubbling out uncontrollably, and felix looks so proud of himself, you swat his chest.
“We are going to get sick,” you groan.
“We’ll get soup,” he says cheerfully.
“You don’t know how to make soup.”
“I’ll learn. For you.”
“Soup is boiled water, Felix.”
“Still counts.”
You’re still holding him when thunder rolls again, rumbling like a sleepy lion in the sky. He hugs you tighter, resting his chin on top of your head, his body all soft warmth and heartbeat.
The world feels far away. Like you’re tucked into a pocket of time too gentle to last forever.
But for now, you let it.
You close your eyes.
And just exist. With him.
In this puddle.
With frog umbrellas. And frogs.
And love.
So, by the time you both make it to Felix’s apartment, everything you’re wearing is holding onto the rain like a secret.
Your shoes squish.
Your jeans cling.
Your bag drips a rhythm against your thigh.
And your boyfriend, golden-haired, sun-souled, walking puddle that he is, has been humming the same tune under his breath for two blocks straight.
He opens the door like a gentleman.
“So,” Then leans against the frame like a flirt. One brow arched. One dimple out.
“You come here often?” he asks, voice low and syrupy.
You pause.
Dripping. Exhausted. Dripping on the doormat.
And you say nothing. Just blink at him. Slowly.
Then..
“Only when a frog prince drags me here in the rain.”
Felix clutches his chest. “Eugh.. that one had bite.”
“And yet,” you say, stepping past him into the apartment, shedding your soaked tote bag, “here I am.”
“You just couldn’t resist me.”
“Or the frog umbrella.”
He makes a scandalized noise behind you, already tossing his hoodie onto a nearby hook with dramatic flair. The door closes with a soft thud, sealing you both inside a little world of foggy windows and warm lamplight.
The rain outside hasn’t stopped. You can hear it still, soft and constant, pattering against the balcony like applause. But inside? It’s all golden. Cozy. Safe.
Home.
You pad toward the kitchen, shoes squeaking, socks cold and squishy.
Felix follows close behind, undoing the buttons of his shirt with one hand. It peels off with a damp shhhhk, revealing the skin beneath; golden, smooth, lightly flushed from the cold. He’s not showing off. He never does. But you notice anyway.
You always do.
He catches your eyes lingering and smirks.
“Like what you see?” he teases, towel slapping his hair dry.
You give him a once over, dramatic and slow, then sigh exaggeratedly. “You’ll do.”
“Wow.”
“I have standards, Lix.”
He tosses the towel at you. You catch it just before it smacks your face.
The next twenty minutes are an adorable circus.
You change into one of his soft tees, while he rummages around the kitchen with vague plans of 'soup or something?' you curl into the couch, legs tucked under you, towel over your head like a ghost, just watching.
And giggling.
Because Felix in the kitchen is like a baby deer learning to walk, enthusiastic, slightly reckless, charmingly unaware that the stove is on the wrong setting.
“What are you doing now?” you ask, watching him squint at the microwave.
“Defrosting the peas,” he says with the intensity of a bomb technician.
“That’s… not what you think it is.”
“I can cook, y’know.”
You snort. “You heated up leftovers last week and called it gourmet.”
“Because I sprinkled parsley. Gourmet.”
He makes two mugs of cocoa in the meantime, using oat milk because he knows it’s your favorite; and brings one over to you like it’s an offering to a deity.
You take it.
Hold it in both hands.
Let the heat bloom through your fingers like tiny fireworks.
Felix plops beside you, a blanket in one hand and his smile in the other. He throws both over you and tugs you closer. Your cold toes immediately tangle with his warmer ones, and your nose buries into his collarbone like it belongs there.
“Hi,” you murmur.
“Hi.” he echoes.
The cocoa is warm. The couch is softer than it has any right to be. His body is even softer. The blanket slides over your shoulders, and he rubs small circles into your arm, slow and lazy, like there’s nowhere else to be but here.
And maybe there isn’t.
Maybe the world outside doesn’t exist anymore. Maybe this tiny apartment is all that matters. A little pocket of light and heat and you and him and the smell of chocolate and rain.
Your mug rests half finished on the coffee table now. He’s not drinking his either.
You both just sit there. Sinking.
His thumb brushes your jaw.
You glance up.
And he’s already looking.
Eyes lidded. Half-laughing. Half something else.
That look. That soft, liquid honey gaze that only he gives you when it’s late and the world’s quiet and you’re close like this.
He doesn’t say anything.
He leans in instead.
And kisses you.
Longer this time.
It’s not rushed. Not even playful. It’s the kind of kiss that feels like a story you’ve read a thousand times but still want to hear again. His lips are warm. Slightly chapped. He tastes like cocoa and rain and everything familiar. His hand finds your waist, gentle, slow, resting there like he’s afraid of pulling you too close, too fast.
But you lean in anyway.
You kiss back like you mean it.
Because you do.
You shift into his lap, blanket falling halfway to the floor. Your fingers curl into his hair, still damp at the roots. He breathes your name against your mouth and it feels like poetry.
Then,
“Your nose is cold,” he mumbles, laughing.
“Yours too,” you whisper.
He presses his forehead to yours, noses bumping, your cheeks flushed and glowing.
“I think I’m in love with you,” he says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world.
Your heart softens.
Melts.
“I think I already knew,” you say.
He grins. That dimpled, sunshine, heartbreaker grin.
Then whispers, “I also think I burnt the soup.”
You blink.
Sniff the air.
“Oh my god.”
He scrambles off the couch like a cartoon character; slipping, tripping, darting into the kitchen with dramatic gasps and yelps.
You follow, giggling, and catch him trying to save a charred pot that smells suspiciously like betrayal.
There’s a moment of chaos. Of smoke and waving towels and the fire alarm chirping once in confusion. And then,
You both end up on the kitchen floor.
Still laughing.
Still glowing.
Still in love.
Later.
The rain slows.
You’re back on the couch. Wrapped in each other.
Your cocoa is cold. The soup is ruined. Your hair’s a mess.
But his hands are warm around yours, and your laughter is echoing in the walls like music.
And when he kisses your forehead one last time, whispering, 'thanks for coming over,' with a wink,
You know it’s true.
You’d come here a thousand times.
Every day.
If it means him.
If it means this.
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After hours of getting raped by the friend who used to be a flower of hope and comfort in your life, you got carried to his room. The room you used to sneak to when life was going its downs and needed comfort.
He laid you softly on the mattress — a stark contrast of his earlier rough touches. His voice is soft, gentle and completely different from the monster you saw earlier. He starts cleaning you up gently with cloth, making you hiss. His touch almost loving as he removes any evidence of what he did to you.
“Shh.. it's alright now..” He murmurs soothingly “You're safe with me..”
You felt sick, like you’re about to throw up.
Safe? How ironic!
Despite the urge of wanting to lunge at him, your body was weak. Too weak and pained from the rape session.
“S-safe?” You scoffed. “Wake u-up, Felix.” Your voice was hoarse and barely audible from screaming and begging for mercy earlier.
Felix’s eyes flash with a mix of guilt and twisted obsession as he hears your scoff. He continues cleaning you gently, ignoring your weak words.
“Shh.. don't talk like that.. You're confused right now..” He leans down pressing a soft kiss on your forehead. “I love you..”
Tears threatened to spill from your eyes, but you blinked them off.
“Yes, I am confused,” You admitted, almost defiantly. “How can someone show love by destroying their lover’s life? How can someone like you change into… whatever you are now?”
He freezes at your words, the cloth in his hand stilling. His expression turns pained, almost broken.
“Don't.. don't say that.. I didn't destroy your life.. I just.. made sure no one else could have you.. “ He chokes out, his voice trembling.” You're mine now..”
“You did destroy me.”
Felix simply ignored your words, his hands moving to clean between your legs with the warm, damp cloth, his touch absurdly gentle despite what he'd just done. He traces your thighs with feather-light touches, his expression a mixture of devotion and obsession. You sighed, almost submissively. Seeing your small sigh of relief, Felix’s face lights up with something close to tenderness.
“Shh.. I'm fixing you..” He whispers, applying ointment to sore spots with painstaking care.
Once the ointment touched your skin, you hissed loudly and slightly arched your back. You wanted to push him, to run, find an escape. Yet something small inside made you want to trust him. At least in this.
“See? I'm taking care of you..” He murmurs softly, his hands moving gently over your sensitive skin. He applies more ointment carefully. “You're so sore, baby..”
He keeps cleaning you gently, his touch almost loving despite what he'd done. It's confusing and terrifying how gentle he can be after being so violent. It almost makes you more curious about him and… his condition? He finishes cleaning you and sets the cloth aside, then starts to gently massage your hips and stomach.
Without a warning, he rushed to the kitchen then came back quickly in seconds. He carefully lifts your head, bringing a glass of water to your lips.
“Drink..” He whispers, his voice strained with worry. His touch is so tender it makes your head spin. “You need to hydrate..” His eyes search yours desperately for any sign of acceptance, but your face was unreadable. “I won't hurt you anymore.. I promise..”
The words sound hollow after what he's done.
You hesitated, thinking it might contain something fishy, but slowly you took a sip. Your eyes were glowing with suspicion, but his were filled with pure love and affection. It reminds you of the loving, affectionate friend he once was.
As you drink, he watches your throat bob with a soft, loving expression. When you finish, he sets the glass down and gently lays your head back on the pillow. He leaned over to grab a brush from the nightstand. He was close — to close that you can smell his cologne. It was something manly with a hint of vanilla. You hated how it made your heart skip a beat.
Felix starts to softly brush your hair, his touch so gentle it makes your eyes burn with tears.
He mumbled something. You couldn’t hear it properly but it was something like “My poor Belle..”
You bit your lip softly. “Remember when you used to braid my hair after fights with my family?”
His hand pauses, his breath hitching. He remembers those moments vividly - the late nights in his room, you crying over family drama while he quietly braided your hair to soothe you.
“I remember,” he whispers, his voice cracking with emotion. “Those were the best nights.”
“You need therapy, Felix.” Despite how harsh those words seemed to be, you actually let it out with love. Love for your friend who changed into an obsessive killer who is fueled by ‘love’. But looks like Felix didn’t like it. His hand freezes mid-brush and his expression darkening immediately.
The gentle mask slips, revealing the monster beneath. He slams the brush down on the mattress, his eyes flashing with rage.
“Don't.” He seethes, leaning over you, his hands gripping the sides of your head. “Don't you fucking dare! I'm not broken.. I'm perfect..” he emphasizes every word.
His outburst made you flinch in fear and your hands flew over his, trying to push it off but he’s stronger despite his thin looks. He squeezes your head harder, his face contorting with anger, making you yelp in pain.
“I'm the only one who loves you, who understands you! No one else can have you!” He shouts, spit flying from his mouth. He suddenly kisses you hard, biting your lip painfully. “Shut up about therapy..”
Your lip bled slightly and tears slipped out without permission. “I hate you..” You did. You really did. The hatred in your voice is enough for him to know.
Felix pulls back, his chest heaving. He stares at you, shock and pain flicking across his face at your words. His hands slowly release your head, hovering near your throat instead.
His voice is low and menacing. “You don't mean that.. You can't hate me..”
You screamed “I do” at his face making something inside him snap. His hand wraps around your throat, not squeezing but just resting there threateningly.
“I could kill you right now for saying that..” He growls, his face inches from yours. “I love you so much it hurts, and you hate me? Ungrateful bitch..”
His grip tightens slightly, cutting off some air. His eyes bore into yours, searching for fear, pain, anything that might make you take it back. When he sees only defiance in your tear-filled gaze, something in him breaks and hardens at the same time.
“Say you love me..” He demands, his thumb stroking your throat almost tenderly despite the threat. You know this is how it started when he raped you.
His grip tightens further, not enough to kill but enough to make you see stars. His face twists into a tortured expression, tears forming in his own eyes.
“Fucking say it, Belle! Say you love me! I'll fucking kill you if you don't!”
“I love you.” You manged to choke the words out and as soon as the words leave your mouth, his face softens.
He releases your throat immediately, making you gasp for air. His hands going to your face instead. He cups your cheeks gently, tears falling from his own eyes. “There..” He whispers, kissing your forehead tenderly. “There's my girl..”
He storms out of the room, his mind made up. He needs an outlet for his rage and pain. He grabs his gun and heads out, leaving you alone in the room with your bruised throat and broken heart. “I'll be back.. Love you..”
paring: felix x fem!reader, married couple ⋆ genre: sweet warm fluff<33 ⋆ warnings: none :) ⋆ w/c: 509 ⋆
a/n: originally this was supposed to be for September but oh well. I'm not gonna lie, I lowkey forgot my whole aesthetic format for fics bc I haven't posted a fic in like 2 months 💀💀 I'm still on a hiatus but I have 2 fics(1 of is a request that's been sitting in my inbox for too long 🫣) that should be out soon. Also ignore how the symbol divider is not colored, I'm too lazy to fix that :)
——— ʚ ᧔ෆ᧓ ɞ
Felix comes back home after a long meeting. He wasn't even supposed to be at work today but there was an emergency so he had to go.
Upon entering, he notices the living room couch is completely bare of pillows. He furrows his eyebrows. Perhaps you were washing them... Whatever.
Upon going deeper into the house, the scent of pumpkin spice gets stronger. You were probably in the kitchen making something.
Felix heads upstairs to get changed first before going to see you. How odd. The decorative pillows were missing on the bed too.
Felix goes to the closet to change into his favorite sweater. And that was missing too apparently. He checked all his drawers. He even checked yours but nothing. What was going on today? Settling with his second favorite sweater, the blue one you loved on him so much and some sweatpants, he heads to the kitchen.
He was expecting to see you there but nope. Just the clinging warm scent of pumpkin. Maybe you were doing laundry, hence why all the pillows were missing. So he calls your name out as he walks to the laundry room. No answer and no sight of you there. The machines were empty too. Very strange. Perhaps you were in the study. He walks over to the staircase, he stops, noticing the basement door ajar. Usually it was closed... Maybe you decide to watch TV down there.
He opens it further and stands at the top of the stairs. An orange glow is casted at the bottom.
“Y/N, my love?” He calls.
“Down here, Lix.” Felix begins to descend the stairs.
“Hi baby, did you borrow my favorite sweater—?” Felix stops at the sight he's met with. His wife looking absolutely adorable in his favorite sweater, a little fort, their couple mugs and with fireplace on. “So that's where all the pillows went.”
He muses, a smile tugs on his lips as he approaches.
“I planned us a little date at home! Do you like?” You ask him. He leans over and kisses your forehead.
“Yes I like. It's very cute, very pinterest board worthy.” He takes note of all the pillows that went missing were here plus a couple blankets.
“Care to roast a couple marshmallows and drink some pumpkin spice lattes with me, babe?”
“Of course. There's no one I'd rather have such a date with than my lovely lady.” You giggle.
Both of you were busy with your own careers nowadays, hardly having any time to go on any dates so when this opportunity came up, you just had to plan something. The scent of marshmallows filled the basement rather quickly as you and Felix just talk with each other about anything.
You take a bite of the golden marshmallow, it was a rather big bite so your cheeks puff out. Felix chuckles at your cuteness. The sweet sticky treat sticks to your pink lips.
Felix leans over and kisses you, you both can taste the marshmallows and pumpkin spice. A sweet and warm, delicious kiss.
Train boy!Felix who was surprised to have been sent an invitation from your father for a dinner.
Train boy! Felix who cautiously though about it then sent a letter back with his notice that he will be attending.
🚂🚃🚃🚃 💨
"Dear Sir, Felix Lee, Dr. L/n would like to invite you to a dinner come next week at the l/n manor, we hope you you can attend.
"A... Dinner....?"
He sighed before sitting on the single bed, reading over the latter once, twice, before tossing it aside. He thought that your father would just forget about him like most do, but at the same time he remembered that your father isn't sane... Maybe.
"At first he welcomes me into his home to take care of my wounds... Now he's asking me to eat with his family..."
He grabbed the letter that was on his pillow before reading it again, then a blush created onto his cheeks at a though.
"She'll be there... Wouldn't she."
He leaned his head back on the wooden wall and looked out the window at the moon.
"Maybe I should go."
He stood up and walked to his desk to write a letter back.
🚂🚃🚃🚃 💨
Train boy! Felix who wears his best, not to impress your father, but you
Train boy! Felix who even bought a bouquet for you.
Train boy! Felix who stood outside the manor for the longest time thinking weather or not he should go in, nerve now kicking in.
🚂🚃🚃🚃 💨
He stood out side of the manor, looking up at the large house, the big doors that all he has to do is knock on and they'll open, the stairs he has to climb first, the stairs he's already climbed. He let out a sigh and looked down at the flowers and thought about how stupid he looked for a desperate attempt to fit in with your family, maybe, but maybe he thought that he could fit up to your standards.
Then the doors opened, he looked up before a blush casted over his cheeks, "H-hello...."
You stood there, wearing the dress you aunt said would look good for the dinner, no matter how uncomfortable it was, you wore it not wanting to hear a knat buzzing in your ear on why you weren't wearing the baby blue dress, "Oh, uh, hello Felix- Sir."
"U-uh... These are for... You." He walked up the stairs to you before holding out the bouquet full of lively flowers.
You stood there a smile on your face, before you took them, "They're beautiful."
"Shut up! JUST SHUT UP!! SHUT UP !!! I don't wanna talk!" your mother's shrill voice echoed.
"No! why not? huh? Where were you? tell me where have you been? You can’t always leave as you wish while I…."
"Why not? Is it because I'm a woman?"
"What?! no! That's not what this is about, you have a family, you are a mother! you are supposed to be here... it is almost 12 in the night.!!"
"So.... I'm not the only one responsible for the girls... You leave as you wish too....."
“That is different…”
You drowned out the rest of the conversation, plugging in your earphones and walking out onto the balcony. It was always the same argument or at least its gist. You used to interfere, trying to calm your parents but every time you were involved you ended up getting hurt. Painful words and frustration at each other were then thrown onto you, a walking target amidst the argument. After a while, you learn to drown it out. your sibling too engulfing herself in gaming.
The upside of living in a ground-floor apartment escape wasn't hard. Jumping over the fence to the other side, you were free. The moon lit most of your path and the rest with dim yellow lamps on the sides of the footpaths, you leaned on a nearby wall surfing your phone for that song your mind wanted to listen to.
"Same shit again?" you looked up to see him, his blue hair looking almost green beneath the yellow street lights.
You acknowledged his presence with a nod of your head, going back to your phone. Felix slowly removed one of the earphones from yours to put it in his ears. He knew whenever this happened you did not wish to talk. After all, this wasn't the first occurrence. He held you gently as silent tears slipped through your eyes.
_
Felix had run into you on a similar night. That night you had tried to intervene but had gotten hurt badly, without thinking you had jumped the fence and had walked into the night. It was only after you looked back to see that your home had vanished from view, you realise you had come too far along. The weight on your shoulders and the lump in your throat felt like they were squeezing you, pushing your body forcefully to the ground like a strong hand. You just broke down crying on the sidewalk, pulling your knees up to your chest and trying to become as small as you can.
"Shut up! what do you know? I work like a dog all fucking day and I come home to the three of you doing absolutely FUCKING NOTHING! You are just like her. Don't tell me what to do... worthless-
"Is that an insult to me you drunk asshole? Don't bring her into this..." your angered mother retorts.
"You're the reason all of this is happening," he pointed his finger at you, "It's your fault. It's all your fault," your father yelled at you as your mother continued to swear at him.
Recalling the fight and all the brutal shit your parents threw your way made you heave a breath.
Was it really your fault? Do you try harder? you were trying...
Your cries were silent, soft, so soft that if Felix had brought his headphones that night he would have missed it.
From a few meters back he had heard hushed sobs and deep inhales of air. Upon rolling closer he saw your slouched figure on the sidewalk. Now usually, he would skate right past not bothering to get involved. But the way you cried softly even in an open field made him curious and the fact Felix would have a hard time falling asleep if he actually left you in this compromising position this late at night.
With the way you were crying, it seemed like you had a lot on your mind but yet you tried to muffle yourself as if you did not want to bother anyone with your sounds. Why? The good nature in him to ensure you were okay made him slow down, get off his board and approach you slowly.
Hushed footsteps near you immediately halted your sobs, you looked in the direction of the noise to see a figure approaching, a skateboard tucked underneath one arm. The alarm signs in you rang and you quickly got up and wiped your face, you decided to bolt before you tripped and fell on your knees. An arm touched your shoulder but you pushed him away and ran, not turning around to look at the very confused boy you left behind. That night you had a scathe on your right knee. By the time you had crawled back into your home your parents and sister were fast asleep.
_
After a week or so you were strolling through your resident community when you caught a glimpse of his blue hair, skating with a few of his friends nearby, he looked familiar but the thoughts of that night were beginning to fade from your mind. Before you could turn around and walk away he noticed you and approached you.
“Hey. Remember me?" He said stopping in front of you, a small smile on his face.
“I don’t remember...” you blurted out. What threw you off was his voice for someone with a sweet face his voice was deep.
“I came to check on you remember? you were sorta crying. it was night? sorry, I did not mean to scare you like that, but you pushed me really hard.” He said.
You were unable to form words being embarrassed. The memory of a man with a skateboard comes back to you.
In the evening sunlight, he did not appear as scary as he did that night, he looked… cute. Very cute, a chiseled face, high cheekbones a cute button nose dusted with freckles in shades of brown. Pretty
He sensed your embarrassment and quickly tried to stop you from leaving, “M just kidding I didn't get hurt, the name is Felix.”
“Y/n,” you say extending your hand in his for a shake hand.
“Pretty name.” he winked when you scoffed lightly.
“Come join us, do you skate?” he asked moving to reveal the skate park, the ramps, and ground filled with people holding skateboards of different sizes. Some even have rollerblades and lightweight bicycles.
“Sorry, I don’t skate... I should really go.” you tried, not in the mood to meet anyone people.
“I insist, it could be fun,” Felix said walking in front of you again as you tried to walk away. You still did not know what compelled you to say ‘okay’, maybe it was the fact back home broken pieces of plates and angry parents awaited you. Or maybe it was the sweet smile from a silly boy in front of you hell-bent on talking to you.
“Come on now,” he reassured, gently leading you past the wired fence into the park. There were about six to eight people there.
“This is Jisung,” he told you as he introduced you to a boy not much taller than Felix,
“Hello,” the brunette greeted with a small smile but did not say much as he buckled his wrist pad and rolled off.
“Don’t mind that, he is a bit shy, he will come around,” Felix said as he moved around the small crowd, looking back to make sure you were following him.
“This is Hyunjin, he is our artist. He spraypainted all our stuff and most of the walls. " a tall blonde extended his hand for a high five which you hesitantly gave, Hyunjin was good-looking not in a cute Felix way. He had captivating eyes that could hold strong eye contact and a pretty mole under one of them that caught your attention.
"Hi, Y/n right I'll see you around?" he said before walking past you to join another boy. "That’s Seungmin with Hyunjin," Felix said before pointing at a muscular, well-built brunette standing next to a girl with braids. "That guy over there that’s Chris he started coming here before any of us. Oh yeah, that redhead that's Chae she does bicycle tricks….” you were met with welcoming smiles and fist bumps as Felix weaved his way through the small group.
You saw people flying off the curves and falling but getting up laughing and trying again. It looked really cool. Changbin another guy who seemed to be a regular at the gym rode a bike that looked small between his legs, he did a front wheelie effortlessly. A small girl whizzed past you and went down the ramp as she rode up she did a rotate mid-air twice holding onto her board before landing clean on all four wheels stopping and high-fiving Jisung.
“That’s Luna, she is our pro even though she is only fourteen, kid's got mad skills. She began to ollie at ten and now there is not a trick she can’t do,” he said beaming with pride.
He made sure almost everyone in his friend group met you before finally walking you to where his stuff lay against a graffitied wall. You recognized the multicolored skateboard, splashed with green, fluorescents, and blue under the board. The top of it was coarse and black dusty a bit with fading shoeprints.
“Felix why did you bring me here?” you asked finally. Looking around, from the outside whenever you were out for a walk, you had seen them practicing. it looked really cool to you, always staring discreetly to see someone throw themselves into the pit and emerge on the other side. but they looked closed off (a stupid assumption you yourself had made). It was nice to know they were all friendly. You had always wanted to hang here, but never had the courage to step past the green-busted fence door.
“I wanted to know how you were feeling. Thought you would like some company.” He smiled sweetly before rummaging in his bag for something
“I didn’t ask for it.” you reminded,
“I know, I just wanted to. I don’t know what was bothering you that night but you looked like you were hurt. Really hurt, It did not sit right with me to ignore you after I saw you like that. I would like to be your friend." he explained emerging with elbow pads and wrist protectors.
“Well, I’m fine now,” you say softly, you wanted to leave not knowing a part of you wanted to stay. Your gaze landed on his board once again.
“Would you like to try?” he asked picking up his helmet.
“I don’t know, I’ve never tried,” you admit.
“First time for everything right?” he says handing the helmet to you. “Here put this on.” And you did, fingers tightly holding his palm as you climbed onto the board and he began to rock it back n forth just so that you get used to the feeling. Your initial wish to leave slowly faded as he pushed you forward, standing for the first time on a skateboard you felt genuinely happy. A smile slowly makes its way to your face. His face mirrored yours too and the rest of his friends shared knowing glances with each other watching the two of you.
Befriending Felix was easier than you would think, he was always super playful and energetic but never in a way that overwhelmed those around him. He had asked you to join them the next day but after leaving that evening you were too shy to go to the park again you had drawn the conclusion that he just wanted to make sure that you were okay. Still not being acquainted with everyone made it harder. It would feel awkward for you if Felix was not present.
You did not expect to see him jog to you as you came from your evening walk.
“I was looking everywhere for you,” he says as he takes you by your hand and drags you toward his friends.
“Wait, what?”
“I couldn’t find you at the park. Come on,” he said speedwalking with you into the park. Though you felt nervous you did not feel your anxiety bubbling up, his warm hand felt grounding as the two of you greeted everyone else, maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea.
_
“No, no, try to balance your body by bending your knees..” Jisung said
“Like this,” you ask a pink helmet on your head, face set so serious like you were training for a fight not standing still on a skateboard and bending your knees pushing your ass out.
It had been a week since befriending all of them. Jisung had grown closer to you over the days. He had the most in common with you. You guys listened to similar music, read manga, and had other similar interests. Felix always made you feel at ease now so did Han, after you voiced your wish to learn to skate he began helping you. You guys had been practicing for a while before you wanted to try rolling without support.
“Too much ass.” Jisung cracked a laugh.
“Right.” you readjusted and he gave you a thumbs up.
After his initial shyness peeled you came face to face with this chaotic, sassy, loud alter ego, Han. If it wasn’t for his humor you would become tired of him. Han Jisung was also shy and spoke only to those he took a liking to, he reminded you of your own closed-off personality. it made him relatable and a nice friend. He was patiently helping you become friends with everyone like a funny spirit guide.
“Focus,” Han said snapping his fingers. “Okay now what you do is slide your feet like this,” he demonstrated. “Keep the weight on one foot till you gain momentum and once you feel it's rolling just bring your feet up,” he said doing the action with so much ease.
“Let's try it out,” he called out waiting for you at the other end of the path.
“Okay.” you started trying to mimic his movements but less gracefully. The rickety board was both old and worn out. Since Felix needed his, a friend of Chris’s Minho had offered to give you his beginner board which he had kept safe. Asking for a new board at home was difficult since both your parents were in their weekly sulk.
It was hard to balance your weight so instead of going straight the direction of the board changed sending you reeling backward.
“You okay?” Jisung asked after you fell on your butt. You looked up at him the two of staring for a moment before he burst out laughing,
“I hate you,” you say a little embarrassed.
“Come on, up,” he said extending his hand and letting you get up before you gave him a push.
“I think we are done for the day huh?” he says gulping his water. Just then a certain freckled face appeared at the gate of the park. His brown eyes caught you before smiling at you, you gave a small smile back, and he began walking towards you. He was pulled away by Hyunjin.
“You like him,” Wasn’t even a question, Han stated grabbing his books from his duffel,
“What ?! No!” you say slapping his shoulder. He just nodded hiding a small smile, liar
“He is really kind you know,” Jisung said, now reading from his book as he lay on the bench.
“Yeah, I know,” you say sitting down by his feet.
“He brought me here the same way he did you,” Jisung said nonchalantly, you turned your head to face him but he kept his eyes trained on the pages.
“Found me one night a few years ago and the next day brought me here. He did not leave me alone till he was sure I would not try to run away and do something stupid. He is weird like that, weird but cute.” he continued flipping through the pages before closing the book.
“So I understand where you’re coming from okay?.” he said before turning to you. You just look at him for a second. So that was why Jisung took a liking to you, you were in the same position he was in the past. It is said that those who have suffered similar pain can spot it in others. Jisung was no exception.
You never really had someone to relate to so much, someone who would understand what you’re going through someone to call a best friend. Maybe one day because for now, you knew you could trust this bundle of mischief.
“So he just collects us like Pokémon then,” you asked all serious, Han bursting into laughter.
“What are you guys laughing about,” Chris asked petting Jisung’s head making the younger physically cringe. You looked up to meet Felix’s eyes already on you, your heart fluttered a bit - a silly feeling really- before looking away quickly.
“It’s hot,” Seungmin stated as Jisung gave him a sultry look,
"Thank you min-min you're okay looking too,"
"Eww not you I meant the weather."
"Let's get ice cream then," Jisung says, closing his book and standing up. "You coming," he turned to you before grabbing his things.
"No, I need to head home. you have fun." back home you had some chores and homework to get done. The group began chattering as they approached the nearest convenience store Chae chased Jisung as the rest spectated.
"Where are you going?" a voice asked as you began walking toward your building. Turning around you see Felix, "Not coming?" he pointed his thumb toward the few people as they entered the store.
“No. I have to get home,”
“Wait, but I just got here...” he said a bit pouty it made you want to giggle,
"Sorry, but I have some work and..."
"Let me walk you home." his hand held his jacket, as he grabbed the board. "No. that's okay? you don't have to.." but he did not listen already walking with you despite being called.
"Felix really, it's okay I can-"
"I want to spend time with you. You only talk to Jisung nowadays." Felix kicked a small rock that rolled a few feet away. his eyes were downcast and you looked quite in shock. was he jealous?
"I.. uh. huh?" the two of you stopped and before he could speak two boys on bicycles cut between you. "sorry,' the smaller one trying to catch up with his older brother yelled back.
"I love that you are now comfortable with him, but I-. I want you to be like that with me too, you know. I want.." Felix trailed of, the two of you had stopped walking.
"I want you to know that you can talk to me too." the sounds of children playing nearby distract you, at least you try to distract yourself, praying your face turns a shade of pink.
"Thank you, I'm okay I promise," your heart beating quick but not quick like a panic attack.
"I'll see you tomorrow then?" he asks you could hear Chan call out to him. His fluffy hair poked out from the store. Felix paid no heed.
You nodded. You guys were near your building so you kindly asked him to head back before Chris lost his voice obviously. He gave you a smile before jogging to the store.
When you reached home you were met with scowling faces sighing wishing you had gone with them.
You became a regular at the skatepark, always wishing Chris -whose Korean name you learned was Chan- as you passed him to the beginner's ramp. Peeking over Hyunjin’s shoulder with Felix to get a glance at his secret sketchbook, exchanging song recommendations and cooking recipes with Chae who you learned was an excellent baker -neck to neck with Felix-. Her French Madeleine was to die for and read with Jisung.
Slowly, you learned to control the depressing thoughts, feeling happy every time you were with them... You felt less lonely -feeling heard and seen now- especially when you could talk to Jisung about anything. You had shallowly mentioned the situation at home. Unhappy parents and a toxic atmosphere always made you sad and Han understood it the most, comforting you without prying for more information and occasionally teasing you to distract you- the topic usually revolved around your new crush on Felix.
You were too shy to acknowledge the pair of eyes that always searched for you. Felix had also grown incredibly fond of you. Chan and Hyunjin always teased him about how he would always search for you- his mystery girl. It was strange, he felt protective of you and not strange at the same time, after all, he was the man with developing feelings for the shy pretty girl.
_
“Why are you always late?” your dad asked one day as you returned home.
“Sorry,” you say stepping into your home to remove your shoes. It wasn’t that late, but your father was pissed at your absence.
“Where were you?” he asked but you did not hear him, going into your room.
“Answer Me!” He yelled startling you. He was standing in the middle of the hall, you walked out to talk to him not wanting to scare your sister if he decided to barge in.
“At the skatepark.” you say “Why are you angry it’s only 7.”
“Well, you leave without a word come back as you wish and now I hear you’re hanging out with junkies.”
“What are you talking about?!” your voice raised turning to face your dad.
“The skatepark is filled with kids like that.”
“That’s not true!”
“Why are you yelling?!’ your father yelled at you. Oh, the irony.
“What?! You are the one yelling.”
“Lower your voice when you are talking to me you hear me!” he walked forward intimidating you.
“No..”
“What was that?”
“I said NO! I'm done. Mom is out right now and you are taking your frustration out on me. So Stop! Stop. Taking. Your. Frustration. Out. On. Me!” You yelled, heaving breath as hot tears flood down your face.
Your father’s face turned red as he looked around.
"You're done? you're done? huh, you're done? huh?" he kept muttering as he walked around.
“What are you doing?” you asked confused as he stalked past you,
“No! Stop!” you shouted as your Dad picked up Minho’s board.
“Whose is this?”
“It’s mine!”
“Mino? Whose Minho?” he seethed as he read the small sticker at the very end of it.
“My friend…” you tried, you could not move feet planted to the spot. you had never feared your father, but it was what he was gonna do that scared you. What happened next was so loud that it woke your sister up she ran to the hall.
Your father lifted the board high before crashing it onto the tiled floor snapping it in half and breaking the tile in the process.
“You. Will. Listen. To. Me, as long as you live under my roof. Do you understand?” your dad said turning away to grab his glass of scotch from the side table.
You look at the broken pieces of what was left of the board, it was too blurry to see with the tears accumulating in your eyes. Your father switched on the TV flipping through channels as you collected the remnants on the floor and walked to your room.
Your mother returned home after a few hours. Amidst another argument, you snuck out into the night.
_
Minho’s broken board’s pieces felt heavy as you walked around with it in a bag.
For unknown reasons, your feet lead you to the skatepark. The gate creaked as you entered the park, soft sobs escaped you now, tears immeasurable.
“Y/n?” a deep voice asked followed by the sound of skate wheels hitting the pavement and stopping. Your eyes meet his brown ones etched in confusion at your tear-stained face.
It was Deja vu that he had found you like this once again. But instead of running away from him this time, you ran towards him.
Felix was stunned momentarily, looking down to see the top of your head shake slightly. Your arms were wrapped around him, wrinkling his top. He soon forced his arms to move, to wrap around your frame, and his cheek pressed against your head. You wanted comfort and it did not matter where it was from.
His sweater muffled your sobs and the heavy bag slipped from your grasp. Felix did not let you go, he did not plan to let go till your breathing returned to normal...
“Shh… I got you.” he softly said, arms tightening.
Felix held you as you cried. The long lamp post light flickered on and off, on and off, on and ... off
A/N : This is my first peice of work, So I hope you like it. Please comment your thoughts and reblog if you like. Bear with me for any grammatical errors as english is not my first language (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
