#fibrofoghours

[fibrofoghours]

Though I try, it feels like I'm always and forever will be coping...

[fibrofoghours]

Constant dizziness

Is now the angle

My body has chosen...

Here we go

[fibrofoghours]

A good way to describe how I'm feeling most moments of my life:

I feel like I'm being poisoned from the inside out.

[fibrofoghours]

I need to take more care of my literal self.

I need to listen closer to my body and it’s needs.

I need to stop apologizing for my mere existence, or feeling as such.

I need to be better for me.

I need to be stronger for me.

I need to give me time...

I need to allow myself to live, illnesses that shall never leave me and all.

I need me.

[fibrofoghours]

I hope that you never feel like you have to apologize for being you.

However, unfortunately, I know this is easier said than done.

The thing is, your chronic illness; your disability, that is you. How can anyone make you feel as though your unworthy of living, or you have to feel bad for your body and what it does?

It’s like guilt tripping someone for how they breathe. All people do it. You have to! To survive even! Except apparently you breathe a little more “funny” than everyone else, and so you should feel ashamed.

Honestly, that’s an outrage! Easier said than done, I know, but you should never be ashamed of who you are, just because you’ve got something different about you that people don’t understand, or they don’t want to.

You deserve to live just like everyone else; to vocalize your pains; to be seen. There are people willing to listen. They’re just buried deep these days...

However, know that you are you, and not a soul can take that away from you. You can be proud of yourself too, and feel what you need. You are worthy of love too, and you are not a shame to this planet. If anything, the people that make you feel ashamed are. Let them reflect, while you live on!

[fibrofoghours]

Hey all!

A bit of an update time. Plus hopefully some positivity through all of this.

I had a laparoscopic examination yesterday, and was officially diagnosed now with endometriosis, where they removed as much as they could. It may be elsewhere, like the bladder and bowels, but I’ll get more info at my two week follow up.

Of course, this jazz is never good news officially, but it also is good news because I know partly what’s causing my pelvic pain. I’m currently recovering, so we’re doing our best over here. To all the individuals who do have endometriosis out there, I wish you all the best.

Plus, as always, I send all of you with disabilities or any chronic illness the best. Always. It’s what you deserve, if not more.

To be honest, I’m trying to get as much figured out before I move off to graduate school. These times will be tricky, but I’m still going for my dreams.

Keep fighting everyone, never forget who you are, and make time for you, because that counts as fighting onward as much as pushing through life with your troubles.

You are still deserving of life, and you are still living. That counts for more than anything.

Let me know if any of you ever need anything, want to talk or relate, need a friend, or just want to know someone else is going through it too. Believe me, I’ve been there and still am.

You have got this. Live on!

~L

[fibrofoghours]

I'm honestly really scared.

Feel free to reblog, it's my life and may be relatable, but the deal is as follows:

I already don't have that many friends to begin with. I feel alone and misunderstood and have for most of my life, partly because of my chronic illnesses and partly because of my life.

And yet, this coming fall, I'm going back to university for my PhD which yes, I'm proud of, but I'm afraid I will get again have no friends, as has occurred throughout most of my life, and I'll be alone.

At most, I often become the person people come to for advice: the therapist if you will. But, these people never want to stay friends with me, or hear about my life or what's going on in my head, or just have fun with me.

I'm getting tired of this constant cycle I've tried so hard to break through. My family is alright, but that's family, and I'm leaving them and should as I move across the country. I do have a kind boyfriend, but he has depression, and I'm afraid the extra stress will be hard on him.

So, I still feel so alone, and I don't know many people who go to graduate school with chronic illnesses, let alone still how to find people who genuinely care about me for once.

Does anyone have any advice? Any thoughts? Anyone who relates?

Thank you for your time, and I send you all my love! You all deserve the best from this world, I know this.

~L

[fibrofoghours]

I think what kinda hurts the most is that many people forget that people with chronic illnesses have lost choices in their lives.

Don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to think of me all the time or my every little need. BUT don’t you dare hit me with the “You always have a choice!” Sure, yes, theoretically, but that choice may cause me GRAVE PAIN, or threaten my livelihood, so is there really a choice?

To an extent, we have literally lost an aspect of control that most people have and take for granted. All I ask is you understand, and if not, don’t take away my choices further, either by purposeful exclusion of me or by purposeful ignoring...

Let me live dang it!