Dec 13, 2025
“Harbingers” made with ballpoint + watercolor
seen from Australia
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seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
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seen from China
seen from Lithuania
seen from Netherlands
seen from China
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from Hong Kong SAR China
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from China
“Harbingers” made with ballpoint + watercolor
a woman who's just in his head, and she sleeps in his bed, while he plays pretend... so pretend
🤝
i think there's a stranger in my bed, my heart's beating faster... i can't get this feeling out of my head, that i am the imposter
a lil ghosty as spooky season approaches!
ko-fi || insta
Fineline
Being the person Harry wrote fine line about. Messy, emotional, sad.
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HI GUYS! Omg Harry’s back! How are we feeling? Aghhh! Feel like his new album will be a rock-ish album…? Maybe. Anywho. Enjoy the story!
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You don’t remember when loving Harry stopped feeling safe.
Maybe it was the nights that stretched too long, when he came home smelling like stage lights and strangers, voice hoarse from singing words that never seemed meant for you anymore. Or maybe it was earlier—when silence became easier than honesty, when apologies started sounding rehearsed.
Tonight, the apartment feels too big. Too quiet. Like it’s holding its breath, waiting for the inevitable.
Harry stands by the window, hands shoved into his pockets, shoulders tense. He’s facing away from you, but you can see him anyway—etched into every corner of the room. The couch where you used to curl into him. The kitchen where you laughed at nothing. The hallway where you fought, whispered, broke, made up, broke again.
“You’re not even looking at me,” you say, your voice cracking before you can stop it.
He exhales slowly, like he’s been carrying this moment all day. All year. Then he turns.
His eyes are red—not dramatic, not cinematic. Just tired. Hurt. Human.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” he admits.
That hurts more than if he’d yelled.
You laugh weakly, shaking your head. “That’s kind of the problem, isn’t it?”
There was a time when Harry always knew what to say to you. When words spilled out of him like confessions, like promises he believed he could keep. Now, every sentence feels like walking a tightrope—one wrong step and everything snaps.
“I love you,” he says suddenly, like he’s afraid if he doesn’t say it now, he never will.
Your chest tightens. Love shouldn’t feel like this. It shouldn’t ache like a bruise you keep pressing just to make sure it’s still there.
“I know,” you whisper. “I know you do. But that doesn’t mean we’re okay.”
His jaw clenches. “So what, then? We just—give up?”
You step closer, close enough to see the familiar scar on his chin, the one you kissed absentmindedly a hundred times. Close enough that it feels dangerous.
“We’ve been giving up for a while,” you say. “Just… quietly.”
The words hang between you, ugly and true.
Harry runs a hand through his hair, pacing now, restless. “I tried,” he says, frustration bleeding through. “I really did.”
“I know,” you repeat, but this time it sounds like goodbye.
That’s the cruelest part—you both tried. And still, here you are.
The room fills with memories you didn’t invite in. Late-night drives. Shared headphones. His laugh against your neck. Your name in his mouth, soft and private. Love didn’t disappear—it just became heavier. Harder to carry.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he says, quieter now.
Tears blur your vision. “You already have. And I think I’ve hurt you too.”
He stops moving. Looks at you like he’s memorizing your face, like he’s afraid time is already stealing it from him.
“I don’t regret loving you,” he says. “Even if this… even if it ends.”
That’s when you break.
Tears spill freely now, messy and ungraceful. You hate that endings are never clean. That love doesn’t leave politely. It clings. It stains.
“I hate that it’s not simple,” you choke out. “I hate that loving you feels like standing on a fault line.”
Harry steps forward, hesitates, then pulls you into his arms anyway. It’s instinctive. Familiar. Wrong and right all at once.
You cling to him like you always do, fingers fisting his shirt, breathing him in like it might be the last time. Maybe it is.
“I’ll always be on your side,” he murmurs into your hair.
You close your eyes, knowing that sometimes being on the same side still isn’t enough.
When he finally lets go, it feels like losing something vital. Like letting go of a future you kept trying to fix with hope alone.
You grab your coat. He watches you, silent now, eyes glassy.
At the door, you pause.
“Harry?”
“Yeah?”
“For what it’s worth… I think we loved each other the best way we knew how.”
He nods, swallowing hard. “I think so too.”
You leave before either of you can change your mind.
Outside, the air is cold and sharp, but it feels honest. You don’t know what comes next. Healing. Missing him. Maybe finding each other again, maybe not.
All you know is that love isn’t always about staying.
Sometimes, it’s about knowing when you’ve reached the finish line—and stepping back before it breaks you both.
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Months pass, but the silence never really settles.
You learn how to live around it instead—around the empty space where Harry used to be. You change your routines. New coffee shop. Different route home. You stop checking your phone every time it buzzes, stop expecting his name to light up the screen like a reflex you can’t unlearn.
Some nights are easier. Some nights you swear you hear his laugh in strangers, or feel him behind you in the dark, like muscle memory refusing to die.
You don’t reach out. Neither does he.
That’s the rule you never discussed but somehow both agreed to.
Then the song comes out.
You don’t mean to hear it. It just… happens. A friend plays it in the background while you’re half-listening, folding laundry, pretending your life isn’t still divided into before and after him.
And then your hands still.
There’s something about it—raw and exposed, like a confession he never said out loud. It doesn’t sound polished. It sounds tired. Like someone standing at the edge of something fragile, admitting they don’t know how to fix it but wishing they’d tried harder.
Your chest aches.
It feels like him sitting across from you again, elbows on his knees, voice low, eyes honest in that way that always undid you. It feels like the night you left. Like everything unsaid finally found a place to land.
It feels like he wrote it for you.
You don’t cry. You just sit there, breathing shallow, heart pounding like it’s been called out by name.
You wonder if he thinks of you when he sings it. If he hesitates before certain lines. If your ghost is woven into the spaces between the words.
You don’t message him.
But neither of you are really letting go, either.
⸻
You run into him by accident. Of course you do.
It’s raining, soft and miserable, the kind that soaks through your coat and settles into your bones. You’re ducking into a café, shaking water from your hair, when you nearly collide with someone coming out.
You know it’s him before you look up.
Time does something strange. For a moment, it feels like no time has passed at all. Then everything hits you at once—he looks thinner. Older. Quieter. There are shadows under his eyes that weren’t there before.
He freezes when he sees you.
“Oh,” he breathes. “Hey.”
Your name almost follows, but he stops himself.
“Hey,” you reply, too softly.
The air between you is loaded. Months of restraint. Words you never sent. Nights you both probably spent staring at the ceiling, wondering if the other one was okay.
You notice he’s holding a notebook under his arm. The edges are worn, bent like it’s been carried everywhere.
“I—uh,” he starts, then stops, rubbing the back of his neck. Same old nervous habit. “I didn’t expect to see you.”
“Yeah,” you say. “Me neither.”
Awkward. Fragile. Honest.
He glances at you, really looks at you this time, like he’s checking if you’re real. “You look… good.”
You almost laugh at how small the word feels compared to everything you went through. “You too.”
Silence stretches again, but this time it’s not hostile. It’s careful.
“I heard the song,” you admit before you can talk yourself out of it.
His shoulders tense. Just slightly.
“Yeah?”
“It feels…” You hesitate, choosing your words like stepping on glass. “It feels personal.”
He swallows. “It was.”
Your heart stutters. “For me?”
Harry doesn’t answer right away. Rain patters against the pavement, filling the space where certainty should be.
“Part of it,” he finally says. “A big part.”
Something unravels in your chest—not relief, not pain. Both.
“I didn’t write it to win you back,” he adds quickly, eyes earnest. “I just… needed to be honest. With myself. With what I broke.”
You nod, blinking hard. “It hurt to hear. But in a way that made sense.”
He lets out a shaky breath. “I never stopped thinking about you. I just didn’t want to pull you back into something that wasn’t fixed.”
That word—fixed—sits heavy between you.
“I don’t know if it is,” you say. “Fixed.”
“Neither do I,” he admits. “But I know I don’t want to keep pretending you don’t exist.”
The café door swings open behind you, warm air spilling out, but neither of you moves.
“I’m not saying we go back to how it was,” Harry says quietly. “Because that version of us didn’t survive.”
You meet his eyes. They’re still the same eyes. Still dangerous.
“But maybe,” he continues, voice barely above the rain, “we could try again. Slower. Honester. Even if it’s messy.”
Your chest tightens. This is the part that scares you. Not the pain—but the hope.
“Trying doesn’t guarantee anything,” you say.
“I know,” he nods. “But not trying guarantees we lose each other.”
You stand there, rain-soaked, heart exposed, realizing that love never really ended—it just waited. Bruised. Changed. Still breathing.
“Coffee?” you finally ask. “Just… coffee.”
A careful smile tugs at his lips. Not triumphant. Not certain.
“I’d like that,” he says. “If you’re sure.”
You open the door, warmth brushing your skin, uncertainty following you inside.
You’re not healed. Neither is he.
But this time, you’re both standing on the line together—aware of how thin it is, and choosing to stay anyway.
Not fixed.
Just trying.
Trying again is quieter than the first time.
There are no grand gestures. No declarations. Just coffee that turns into walks, walks that turn into sitting too close on the couch without touching. Harry doesn’t sleep over. You don’t ask him to. Boundaries are spoken like they might shatter if said too loudly.
At first, it feels careful. Respectful. Like growth.
Then the cracks start to show.
It’s a night you didn’t plan for—him coming back late from the studio, eyes lit with that familiar fire, energy buzzing under his skin. You’re already tense when he walks in, because you know that look. You know what it means when music takes over and everything else fades.
He talks fast, pacing, hands moving as he explains a melody, a feeling, something that doesn’t quite exist yet. You smile. You listen. You try not to feel like you’re standing on the outside again. But still - it hurts. And still. You try to focus more on the radio that was playing a random station. Quietly. But anything was better than this pain.
“Sorry I’m late,” he says, almost as an afterthought. “Lost track of time.”
You nod. “You usually do.”
It’s a small thing. Barely a comment.
But something shifts.
He stops pacing. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
You sigh, already tired. “Nothing. Just—nothing.”
Harry watches you, something defensive creeping into his posture. “You sound upset.”
“I’m not upset,” you say quickly. Too quickly. “I just didn’t hear from you. Again.”
His jaw tightens. “I told you I was going to the studio.”
“Yes. For a few hours,” you reply, voice steady but sharp. “Not disappearing until midnight.”
“I didn’t disappear,” he snaps. “I was working.”
There it is.
The old rhythm. The old fault line.
“I know,” you say, hands clenching in your lap. “And I didn’t say you couldn’t. I just—”
“Just what?” he cuts in. “Because it feels like this is turning into the same thing as before.”
Your chest tightens. “I was just saying how it made me feel.”
“And I’m saying I can’t keep apologizing for doing what I love,” he fires back, frustration spilling out now. “That’s not fair.”
The words hit harder than they should. Or maybe exactly as hard as they’re meant to.
“I’m not asking you to stop,” you say, voice cracking despite yourself. “I’m asking to matter alongside it.”
Silence.
Harry looks away, running a hand through his hair, breathing heavy. “I do this,” he mutters. “I get cornered and I lash out.”
“You don’t sound cornered,” you say softly. “You sound like you’re already gone.”
That makes him look at you.
“Don’t say that.”
“Then don’t make me feel it.”
The room feels too small again. Like the walls remember how this ends.
“I thought we were past this,” he says, quieter now.
“So did I,” you whisper. “But I think past it and healed aren’t the same thing.”
Harry sinks onto the couch, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. The fight drains out of him, leaving exhaustion behind.
“I’m scared,” he admits. “Every time you look hurt, I feel like I’m about to lose you again. And then I panic. And then I mess it up.”
You swallow hard. “I’m scared too. Because every time you pull away, it feels like I’m back at that door, leaving all over again.”
He looks up at you, eyes glossy. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I know,” you say. “But wanting isn’t enough.”
The words hang there, heavy and familiar.
For a moment, you think this is it. The relapse. The proof that trying again was just reopening a wound.
Harry stands, restless. “Maybe we rushed this.”
“Maybe,” you agree, heart pounding. “Or maybe we’re just seeing the parts we ignored before.”
He steps closer, stopping just short of touching you. “I don’t want to lose you,” he says, voice rough. “But I don’t know how to be different overnight.”
You look at him—this man you love, this man who keeps trying, who keeps failing in ways that feel personal even when they’re not.
“I’m not asking for overnight,” you say. “I’m asking for effort when it’s uncomfortable. For staying when your instinct is to run.”
He nods slowly. “And I need you to tell me when it hurts. Not store it up until it explodes.”
You exhale shakily. “That’s fair.”
The tension doesn’t disappear. It settles. Bruised but breathing.
Harry reaches out, hesitates, then gently takes your hand. Not possessive. Not desperate. Just present.
“We’re still on the line,” he says quietly.
You squeeze his fingers, eyes burning. “Yeah. We are.”
No kiss. No promises.
Just two people standing in the wreckage, deciding—again—whether love is worth the work when it’s hardest.
You look at him after a while of gentle silence, eyes sad. Pained. “Is it really worth it?” You questioned voice cracking and he looks at you as if you had just slapped him “do you really love me?” Your voice quivers and Harry’s expression tilts to one of pain “of course I do.” Your lower lip trembles slightly and you squeeze his hand, swallowing thickly, no words manage to escape you, a tear dripping down your cheek and just like that Harry’s free hand moves to cup your cheek wiping the tear away with his thumb as the soft melodic music began to play from the radio… his song… neither of you say anything. Nothing is spoken. Just a shared silence. A shared understanding. Finally. “We can work it out.” Harry soon whispered. “How?” You asked. “You, come with me, to the studio… if it’s going to be a late one.” He suggested quietly and you slowly smiled. Softy. Another tear falling “that sounds like a plan.” You speak quietly. You both keep looking at each other. Two lovers on a fineline of falling off and keeping at it. His thumb strokes against your cheek again before for the first time a tear streaks down his cheek, making his eyes glassy, and you slowly cup his cheek as the music continues quietly and softly, you both cry quietly together, before Harry stops trying to stop himself and he pulls you into a tight warm hug his grip unmovable.
“I’m so fucking sorry.” He whispered to you. Face nuzzled into your neck his breath hot on your neck and you clutched at him, lower lip trembling as you allowed yourself to slump into his embrace “We’ll be alright.” You quietly whisper. Even if you don’t believe it yourself. “We will.” He mumbles back. You both stay like that for a long time. Unmoving. Unbothered. In each others embrace. And that’s when you and he both realised it was the simplicity of simply understanding one another.
To understand. Is simply to listen.
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Hope you all like this one!!! I resonate sm with this story ):
Recent tattoos ive done :) lotus is a blast over
Oof and Meme drawings I’ve done! I love drawing Oof’s design it’s just so cool. (Meanwhile Meme emo fringe lmao)
Also I didn’t intentionally do it but it looks like meme’s looking at Oof cursor tail and is rly confused lol
pocket ace