the one with the proposal (finn x reader)
i would add a summary, but the title feels fairly explanatory - for @phoenixhalliwell - i hope u enjoy!!
warnings; language
- jazz xx
Finn had been in love with you since the moment he met you. Maybe he hadn't realised it at the time, but it made sense now.
It was funny, looking back - the first time you'd met, under the thick jungles of Ajan Kloss, both damp in sweat from the heat and hearts racing from the tense atmosphere. Finn had practically tripped and fallen on his ass in front of you; you'd immediately noticed the fact that he hadn't run away in embarrassment. Instead, he burst into fits of laughter and humoured himself, cracking a joke about how clumsy he was. He'd stood out to you since that moment, for his ability to make the best of a bad situation. It had been a saving grace during the war's worst moments, and he'd been the driving force behind the entire Resistance. It was hard to believe that a man who had been through so much, both in his past and present, could keep so positive. It started to make sense when you realised how golden his heart was.
Given his formative years in the First Order, Finn had never been introduced to the idea of soulmates. It was something that his friends spoke about - Rey, when she dreamily gushed about Han and Leia, or Poe on a weekly basis whenever he saw a hot person in the nearby cantina - but he could never quite get his head around the idea. How could there be one person for everyone when there were billions of people in the galaxy? Mathematically speaking, it was impossible that fate would let every person find their soul-mate. It sounded more like a drag than anything, waiting around for the perfect person.
Still, every time Finn saw you across a crowded room, or caught you smiling out the corner of his eye, a little part of him did wonder. Maybe you were soulmates - even if you got annoyed at him for leaving the lid up on the refresher, or if you constantly left your shoes in places that he might trip over them. Or maybe, just maybe, you were two people in love and made an effort. Two people who had worked for your relationship until it felt like you were soul-mates. Because things weren't perfect; sure, there were moments, but you had worked hard for it. You'd both prioritised communication, and tried to iron out your far-and-few arguments in mature ways. It wasn't always easy, and you did test each other's patience at times, but you were always, always sure in your relationship. Maybe your love wasn't perfect, but it was real. And it was strong and constant.
That was how Finn knew he wanted to marry you - because he doubted a lot of things, but he had never doubted you. After the war, you'd been through some of the worst things imaginable, and you'd never strayed from his side, or him from yours. When things had been really bad, and during the moments when it felt like the First Order were creeping towards victory, you'd made giddy promises to one another. That after the war, you would get married and settle down. They'd been day-dreams at the time, really.
But now that you had settled down in Coruscant, with a cozy little apartment and with stable jobs, Finn knew it was time. You were working hard training new pilots and he was dedicating himself to training as a Jedi; things were falling into place, and he felt ready for the next step. It was just a matter of working out how.
Naturally, he went to Poe for advice - which was funny really, because the man fell in love four times a week and had never proposed to a single person in his life.
(Unless you counted the drunk pact he'd once made with Finn about getting married if neither of them were wed by the time they were thirty-five. Ah, what could have been).
"Poe, I don't know what to do," Finn had stressed to him one day over a drink. As usual, they'd met at a cantina in downtown Coruscant on a Tuesday night. It was the one week they always set aside, in what Poe had colloquially christened guy's night.
"I consider myself to be a romantic," Poe began, "but it doesn't need to be anything big. What really matters is what comes after."
"Like our life together and stuff?"
"I was thinking more a wedding with an open bar," he countered, "but sure! After the wedding with an open bar, your life together is what's important."
Finn sighed. "What if they think I'm cheaping out?"
"C'mon," he reached across the table, squeezing his friend's shoulder. "It's you two - you could propose at a dumpsite and they would still say yes."
"You think so?"
"I know so," Poe shot back. "I don't think it'll matter where or when you do it. I think you'll just know."
Finn nodded unsurely - he wanted to believe Poe's larger-than-life spiel about just knowing. Because Finn was smart and intuitive, but even he wasn't sure he was intelligent enough to just know things. Similar to all the old tales of soul-mates and true love, he was just a little too much of a realist to believe it. It wasn't a testament to you or your relationship, because Finn knew with his entire soul that he loved you, and that there was very little that could change that. He just always put it down to sheer dumb luck; luck that you'd found each other, luck that you'd managed to work hard for such a sustaining and comforting relationship.
After downing a few more beers, it was gone 11PM. Finn rarely stayed out late, but his weekly catch-ups with Poe were the exception, and you had never minded. You and Finn trusted each other with your lives, so you it was rare that you ever doubted why he was out after dark. Provided he was there when you woke up the next morning, you didn't all that much mind if he was in the next room or the next planet.
Your apartment wasn't too far from the bar - a few blocks over, tucked away between an old diner and a land-speeder fuel station. When you'd first moved here, the place was just meant to be a go-between until you found yourselves a little more on your feet job and money wise. But, as the last two years had passed, you'd found yourselves becoming more and more settled. It was now filled with memories of the lives you built; it was the opposite of minimalism, crammed to the brim with pictures and blankets and random objects. Not to mention the lightsaber marks on the wall courtesy of Finn, that meant you would never get your deposit back.
The lights in the living area were off, save for a small lamp in the corner. You were curled up on the couch, a knitted blanket thrown over you. A book was cascaded just beside it on the floor - you'd obviously fallen asleep reading and dropped it.
Finn could have stayed in that moment forever; you looked beautiful under the golden glow of the old lamp, peacefully snoozing in the home you'd spent so long building for yourselves. It wasn't perfect - far from it, in fact - but it was yours. It was yours and his, and that was all that mattered.
Apartment aside, you were his home. You were the person who he felt most comfortable with; the person who he always wanted by his side, through thick and thin. Neither of you needed to get engaged or married to prove your love for one another, but those naive, war-time promises were still something he held close to his heart. You were his main support system during that time - you'd helped him adjust to life outside the First Order. Everything had seemed so scary to him then, and you'd guided him through it. Not to mention that you'd constantly encouraged him, nor had you ever once doubted him. Now, Finn wanted to give back to you - even if it was something as simple as fulfilling a simple promise he'd made a few years ago.
That's when the penny dropped for Finn, and Poe's voice rung in his head.
You'll just know.
It hit him like a ton of bricks - not that he just knew know, but he'd known this whole time. Since the moment he'd seen you in the sweaty forests on that cursed jungle planet, he had known. Not in a spiritual, soul-mate way, just in a...him way. In the same way he knew that the sky was blue and trees were green, he knew you were the one for him.
Quietly creeping across the room, Finn picked up your book and placed it on the coffee table. He knelt down beside you and ran a hand across your cheek-bone, gently smiling when you sleepily nuzzled against it.
"Hey, trouble," he whispered.
"Hey," you peeled one eye open, beaming back at him. "I missed you."
"I only left four hours ago."
"Mmm," you murmured. "Four hours too long - how's Poe?"
"He's good," Finn replied. "I think he drank a bit too much."
"Typical Dameron," you quipped.
Propping yourself up on your elbows, you moved over slightly so that there was room for Finn. He kicked off his shoes and took the seat beside you, raising his arm as a signal to lean against him. You took it, flopping against his side and pulling the blanket over both of you. Even though the end of the day was closing in, the smell of his after-shave still lingered, just mixing in with the faint smell of leather from his jacket. It was a comforting scent for you.
"I have a question," Finn quietly said.
"Oh yeah?"
"I..." he faltered for a moment, trailing off. "I haven't really planned this to be honest, but this feels like the right time, and if I don't do it now, I know I won't find the guts to do it for a long time."
Sitting up, Finn shuffled so that he was facing you. He took your hands in his, tightly gripping them as he took a deep breath.
It was only natural that you were panicking a little. His statement had been...ominous to say the least. It could have been a proposal or a break-up. Heck, it could be something a lot simpler than that. That didn't stop your heart picking up in your chest.
"I love you," Finn began. "You know that, but I feel like I should really stress it - I love you, and I love this little life we've built for ourselves. I know it hasn't always been easy and I know life will throw more stuff at us, but I know that as long as we're together, it'll be okay."
He could tell that you were still half-asleep, tired eyes barely taking in his words. At the same time, though, it seemed like you were completely consuming them, hands gripping his even harder with each passing moment. You didn't know where it was going, but you liked the sound of it.
"I guess you know all that, though," he continued. "But I've been thinking lately a lot about all the things we spoke about during the war and we've done most the stuff we said we would, bar one thing. And it feels like an important thing, so...will you marry me?"
You gave him a watery smile. Maybe you'd seen it coming, but maybe it had blind-sided you too. That was the thing with Finn; he was both predictable and extremely surprising at the same time.
"Of course I will," you grinned. "Of course."
"I don't have a ring yet," Finn confessed. "I guess I got a little trigger happy-"
"- I don't care!" you cut him off. "The ring doesn't matter, okay? We'll get one at some point. All that matters is that you're going to be legally tied to me for all of eternity."
"Sure, that's one way of putting it," he gave you another grin.
Leaning across, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a sweet kiss. You stayed like that for a moment, before Finn pulled you closer by the waist and into a tight hug.
It hadn't been the ground-breaking, romantic proposal that he had in mind, but it had been perfect at the same time. It was so quintessentially him; casual and sweet, and filled with love. Even more annoyingly, Poe had been absolutely right about the time and place and mattering - but of course, Finn was never going to admit that to him.
finn tags/everything tags: @crystalized-drumming @karasong @megmeg-chan
