#fluff phanfic

[i-make-you-howell-blog]

They don't share clothes my ass (I’m desperate for subcriptions check out my trash account)

[i-make-you-howell-blog]

What it's like having a non canon otp

[swagpnadachick]

Lilacs - Chapter Three

Word Count: 1255 Genre: Fluff Pairing: Phan Warnings: Dan swears a bit, and I think that’s it.

••••••••

“Y-you do?” Phil stuttered, feeling the blood drain out of his face as he stared at Dan. There was no way Dan liked him too. Dan was always saying he was straight, so this had to be some kind of a joke, right? Dan smirked. “Of course I do Phil. Who the fuck wouldn’t love you? You’re so cute and friendly, you saved my life when it seemed like no one else could, you’re attractive as all hell, and not to mention your bloody smile. Why would I not love you?” “But.. but I don’t mean platonic love, Dan… I.. I like you in the more than friends way..” Phil said softly, staring down at the ground.

“Hey..” Dan said, pushing Phil’s head up with his hand, “I didn’t mean platonic either. I like you more that friends too, you spoon.” Phil felt his cheeks warm, and there was a tingling feeling in his chest. Was everything going to be okay?

“No.. you don’t.. this has to be some sick joke… you’d never like someone like me..” Phil said, trying to move away from Dan quickly. He had to find his phone, and get away from Dan. He could never let Dan know this was the truth.

“Phil this isn’t a joke. I really do like you. There is so much about you that’s amazing, perfect. There is absolutely nothing I don’t love about you. I’ve loved you since before we met in 2009.” Dan reached for Phil, to pull him in, close to his chest. Phil’s mind was fighting it, but his body did something different. He leaned into Dan’s chest, and began to cry. Shocked, Dan wrapped his arms around the older boy, and kissed his hair.

“I heard what you said this morning..” Dan whispered, “I wanted to say that I loved you too, but I was too afraid that you were talking about platonic love and not that you were in love with me..”

Phil stared up at Dan, tear streaked face and puffy red eyes, in wonder. He was almost silent when he utter those few words, how did Dan hear? The younger boy smiled down at him, and pulled Phil closer, whispering, “Oh, if only we weren’t in public…” before grabbing Phil’s hand and dragging him back in the direction of Starbucks to find his phone.

“Um.. Dan? Do you think maybe you can ask about my phone for me?” Phil said looking down at his shoes as they stood inside the front of the store. Dan smirked. “Is little baby Philly scared to ask for his phone?” He cooed. Phil felt his cheeks heat up and he didn’t respond. He felt Dan’s hand tighten around his, and Dan whispered, “Of course, Lion. Anything for you.“

When the got to the front of the line, Phil was still quiet, clinging to Dan’s hand. “Hello!” A young woman who was working as the cashier chirped, “Welcome to Starbucks! What can I get you?” She flashed a flirty smile at Dan, and Phil could feel something boil up inside of him. Was he… jealous? Dan smiled back at the girl, and said politely, “Well, my.. boyfriend here thinks he lost his phone, and we were here earlier. Did you happen to find an iPhone that was left behind by someone?” Phil felt the blood drain out of his face. Boyfriend? The woman at the counter was surprised too, mostly because she had just flirted with a apparently now taken man. “I.. um.. let me go check for you.” She gave a small smile, her cheeks tinted pink.

Phil turned to Dan. “Boyfriend, huh?” Dan blushed and stuttered, “I.. well.. I just thought..” Phil giggled at his boyfriend’s attempt to explain his reasoning. “It’s okay Bear. I’d love to be your boyfriend.” Dan’s face lit up into a huge smile. He squeezed Phil’s hand and whispered, “Really?”, and of course, Phil shook his head yes. At what point would he ever abandon Dan?

“Sorry, we didn’t find any phones that were left here in the last day.” The young woman came back out from the kitchen. “It’s alright.” Dan said, and then turned to Phil, “It must be somewhere else, huh Lion?” Phil blushed, and heard the cashier sigh. “Well, you two have a good day.” She said sharply, and then went on to serve an actual paying costumer.

On the way back home, Phil happily held Dan’s hand, until they were stopped by a pair of their followers. They quickly dropped hands and waved at their fans. “Oh my gosh hi!!” The female fan squeaked, “Y-you guys live around here?”

“Of course they live around here, you spork. They live in London!” The boy said. Phil saw Dan’s face light up at the boy’s insult to his friend. It was one of the many names he had called Phil before. “W-we just came back from the book s-store.. I just bought DAPGO and TABINOF.. w-will you sign them for me?” The girl stuttered, shyly holding up her book bag.

Phil smiled brightly, “Of course!” He chirped, taking the books out of the bag and pulling a sharpie out of his back pocket. After signing the pairs books, they received many hugs and questions about videos, but not a single one about how Dan and Phil were holding hands. Maybe they didn’t notice. Phil thought hopefully.

“Well, we have to get going now, got some stuff we have to finish doing.” Dan said, grasping Phil’s hand once more. Phil felt his face heat up, and before either of them could say anything, the two fans had figured it out. “You and Phil are dating, aren’t you?” The girl asked Dan, brushing off that Phil was right there. The boy butted in before Dan could come up with a response. “Sammy! That’s not something we are supposed to ask them!” He hissed. “Oh hush up Will. There is no harm in asking.” Sammy said, glaring at the boy, “Well? Are you or not?”

Dan looked over at Phil, who shook his head that it was okay. “You aren’t allowed to tell anyone. We are going to be making a video about it later, but for now you have to keep your mouths shut, okay? Everyone will find out in the next few days, but you need to be quiet about this until then.” Both Sammy and Will’s faces went snow white. Franticly nodding, the two promised they would tell no one of this until the videos came out.

“Seriously though guys, this is really important. We are going to make the videos once we find Phil’s phone, but they won't come out for the next two days. You can't say anything.” Dan said, before walking away with Phil. 

Upon arriving home, the two found Lilac happily chewing on one of the squeaky toys that Phil bought her, with the apartment in the same condition that they left it in. Phil let out a sigh of relief as Dan pulled his phone out of one of the couch cushions, and handed it to him. “Thank you.” Phil breathed, and wrapped his arms around Dan’s waist. But instead of hugging Phil back, he pulled away and walked over to a note posted to Phil’s bedroom door. 

“What's this?” Dan said, pulling it off the door, and then gasping. “P-Phil... look at this..” He said, holding up the note for Phil to see.

We know your secret, and it's not going to be hidden for long.

************

Sorry it took me so long to update! I've been super stressed with school and even though I love writing I just haven't had time! I hope this is satisfactory!! ❤️❤️

[im2weirdforu]

Fierce Jealousy

Rating: NC-17 (welcome to 'everything is sin') Warnings: - Word count: 5,7k Summary: They met exactly three hours and 27 minutes ago, a long period of time in which many things could have been happening… Or maybe they are going to happen and Dan is not going to return until tomorrow morning. With ruffled hair and swollen lips. He didn’t want Dan to ‘go on a date’ with an other guy he didn’t even know who could maybe even way more attractive or funny or better in any way Phil was for Dan. The thought filled Phil with fierce jealousy. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap
“Ugh”
Phil was sitting in the living room, laptop on his lap and just mindlessly scrolling through tumblr and absently watching tv. The thing which was constantly drawing his attention was the clock. It’s 9:23 pm. He was nervous. Fingers restlessly tapping on his laptop. Two hours and 23 minutes. 9:24 pm
Two hours and 24 minutes. I wonder what he-… They are doing right now… Is he going to?… No… Not the first time… Although, what if he’s attractive? Like, DAMN attractive? What if he has… A defined chin… Soft lips… Those kind of lips you get the urge to pull at and suck and… 9:25 pm
Lips which can do far more than only kissing good…
Phil had to think of Dan’s lips. Their pale red colour. The way they moved when he spoke and smiled and when he bit them, even if it was just sarcastic, so smooth, so seducing. He often thought about touching them, kissing them, pulling them, sucking them and the soft moans which would escape from Dan’s mouth. But now the only thing he could think about was the fact that Dan is out on a date today evening. With some other guy he got to know whilst doing research for his documentary “Supergamers”. Apparently he’s nice and he doesn’t look bad and bla bla bla all that stuff. 9:27 pm
They met exactly three hours and 27 minutes ago, a long period of time in which many things could have been happening… Or maybe they are going to happen and Dan is not going to return until tomorrow morning. With ruffled hair and swollen lips and hickeys all over his sensitive neck. Maybe even with the expression of… Love in his eyes. A stinging pain appeared in his chest, making him close his laptop and sigh in both despair and concern. He didn’t want Dan to ‘go on a date’ with an other guy he didn’t even know who could maybe even way more attractive or funny or better in any way Phil was for Dan. Although Phil knew that he was getting all worked up about it, time seemed to stretch with every single minute Dan was at a restaurant with his 'date’. Sighing he took the remote to search for a good cooking show or whatever to watch because he only watched anime with Dan and conceived it as unfair to continue without him. I am sure he won’t stay with him the night, they only wanted to go to a restaurant, nothing more. Trying to get more interested at the old episode of Doctor Who he found, he tried to push the thought out of his mind. Dan can do whatever he wants to. We’re not in a relationship. It was right, they were not. But that doesn’t mean Phil doesn’t want it to be like that. A relationship wouldn’t change anything between them because they already were the closest friends could get but being in a relationship and Dan confessing his, maybe existing, love to Phil would mean morning cuddles, soft kisses, constant hugs and of course heated sex, if Dan gives his consent. Phil bit his lower lip as the thought of a sweaty and panting Dan underneath Phil looking up to him throught half shut eyelids appeared in his head. 9:30 pm
After managing not to think of Dan and his 'date’ having heated sex he switched off the tv and got up to get something to drink. On his way to the kitchen he suddenly paused because he could hear the familiar sound of their front door being opened. One of Phil’s numerous worries disappeared and he could safely eliminate the thought that Dan was going to spend the night somewhere else with someone else. “I’m back!” He could hear footsteps coming up the hallway and soon see Dan in his black coat, keys still in his hand. Both of them smiled. “Hi”, Phil said “How was your evening?” 
It didn’t soothen his nervousness to see a grin appear on Dan’s face. “Mh yeah kinda good. Rick came a bit late which was surprising since I am usually the one who is always late.” He smiled at Phil, stuffing the keys into his pocket and undressing his coat. 
It took Phil a second to return the smile but Dan didn’t seem to notice. “The food was really good and we talked a lot. About the documentary and other ones he has made so far. We were talking about our tour, too, and other things we have made this year, like tabinof.” Dan continued, putting down his shoes and hanging up his coat on a coathanger. Phil nodded and turned around, still facing Dan but ready to start going once he has finished. 
Dan followed him and they both went to the kitchen where he continued with his story. “Yeah so we talked and it was a nice evening but not more because he has to get up really early tomorrow morning to catch a flight to the place where he’s gonna shoot a nature documentary.” “Oh okay.” Phil responded with a nod and whilst opening a bottle of wine Dan was leaning against the refrigerator. 
After some seconds of silence Phil convinced himself to finally ask the question which he has been thinking about the whole evening. “ So um.. Are you both.. I mean…” He cleared his troat. “ Are you going to meet again or why…?” Looking at Dan over his shoulder he hoped that he understood him because Phil didn’t even know how to ask the question properly. It took Dan a second but he realized what Phil meant. “Um.. Well we… It was more a kind of meeting between friends and I…” Scratching the back of his head he prepared the next sentence. “I don’t think we’re gonna meet again.” 
Phew. Phil was almost a bit embarassed and surprised of himself to be so pleased to hear that Dan isn’t going to meet that guy again but he just couldn’t help it and tried not to make it too obvious that his shoulders relaxed. Phil nodded “Oh ok.” Dan almost wanted to ask a question which was on the tip of his tongue but didn’t because he got the answer he wanted when Phil asked a second question. 
“How does he look like?” Phil wanted to make the impression that he only posed this question for the sake of the conversation but Dan sussed him and his intentions, stretched his back and tried to suppress his grin as Phil was turning around to lean onto the oven. “Well… I have to admit he doesn’t look bad.” The way Phil’s adams apple jumped confirmed his foreshadowing and Dan continued differently. 
“He’s dark haired and has a quiff. His eyes are green and he… Um yeah I think he might even be a bit taller than you but not as tall as me.” Dan smirked. He knew Phil didn’t like or even hated it that Dan was bigger than him and he new Phil would be jealous as hell when he told him that this oh-so-wonderfull stranger was attractive as heck and even taller than him. So he did. 
“He’s got this kind of two-day-old beard, square-jawed.” Phil had long forgotten his wine, now being focused on Dan and the image of this stranger slowly forming in his head. Dark haired… Green eyed… Square-jawed… And taller than him. That was one of the things he couldn’t stand, he didn’t know why. Fortunately this didn’t happen often because he was taller than the most people in general…Except Dan, to which he got used to or had to since Dan always joked about that topic. Normally Phil wasn’t competitive at all. Maybe sometimes during Mario Kart but normally not. But this stranger, or rather, the image of the stranger triggered his competitive side and his body reacted immideately without him noticing. He stood tall, stopped leaning onto the oven and crossed his arms, muscles tensed. 
Dan’s interest in this conversation has been kindled even more and he perceived Phil’s reaction. How could he not. It was obvious that he got competitive, tensed his shoulders to keep up with the manly Rick Dan described to win this head-to-head race which seemingly started in Phil’s head. Dan liked this side of him. It made him feel rare and gave him the impression that Phil wanted him in a way he hasn’t confessed yet. He knew that Phil maybe felt a bit different for Dan but was never entirely sure so he has been waiting for a sign. Until now.
Maybe Phil is only jealous because he thinks that I and Rick could develop a friendship which would become stronger… No. That’s crap. He knows that our friendship can’t be destroyed by anything or anybody but I know that apprehension makes you see things which aren’t even possible… Still, I don’t think that he’s worried about our friendship. It’s clear that I am not going to give him up as a friend. But something we haven’t cleared yet is… The relationship status. He’s never talked to me about it before and I think he… Or we… Aren’t ready yet. I mean… The other one doesn’t know how the other feels about him. So this assumptiom seems more logical and if it is not, he wouldn’t mind it if I just kept talking about how good he apparently looks and stuff. I feel like Satan but I like it. Let’s see what this is leading up to.
Dan slowly went out of the kitchen, observing that Phil followed him and forgot his glass of wine but he just continued talking. “It was funny because he has broad shoulders which made the table for two look all little and small.” Emphasising the broad in the sentence he grinned and looked back over his right shoulder to Phil who gave him a small smile and gestured him with a nod to continue talking. “His skin is so soft and he’s a little bit tanned which looks quite good actually.” 
Phil’s mind was racing. What the hell was Dan talking about? He knew what he was talking about but he didn’t like the way he told the story at all. It almost seemed as if Dan was fascinated and found the guy attractive which was almost contrary to what he had said before. Broad shoulders, tanned, manly, features Phil doesn’t have.Rick does and apparenly Dan thinks they are handsome. He is handsome. Jealousy spread inside of Phil with something more… Posessive. Oh boy he knew damn well that these feelings were wrong and useless and that Dan could meet whoever whenever he wanted to but he couldn’t help it. Something he felt told him otherwise. 
Dan stopped in the middle of the hallway and leaned back onto the wall, gesturing with his hands. “He… I mean, he didn’t do it that often, but…” Dan paused only for a short moment and Phil already asked eagerly “What?” They looked at each other and Dan started grinning a bit, also to confuse Phil. “He had these… He was in the habit of placing gentle touches when he had the opportunity to.” 
Phil bit his tongue. The mental picture from 3 minutes ago returned even more vivid and he didn’t like it at all. A flood of images and ideas and thoughts built in his mind. Why was this stranger touching Dan? How did he touch him and where? Were the touches very intimate? What did Dan do when being touched? How did he respond? Did he… Like it? This guy was touching Dan and he didn’t even know about it. He said that he probably won’t meet him again so Dan didn’t like it that way. But what if Dan changes his mindset? What if he decided that he actually likes Rick’s 'gentle touches’ and wants to meet him a second time and Rick will touch Dan again? 
A thought appeared in Phil’s mind which surprised him but immideately settled there. At first his entire body stiffed but already relaxed the next moment and Phil was as sure of his actions as he has never been before.
Nobody is touching my Dan. Nobody.
He was completely sure of that and won’t let somebody take Dan away from him by winning him through 'gentle touches’ because those will be his and only his. The right corner of his mouth twitched upwards and he slowly took some steps towards Dan, keeping eye contact and leaning his left side against the same wall Dan leant on, arms still crossed. “How?” Dan returned the smirk. “Well, every time I placed my hand on the table in a rather stretched out way, he slowly reached for his glass and brushed my hand with his fingers. On purpose.” It seemed to Phil that Dan was enjoying every. Single. Word. He spoke, mouthed precisely. Before he continued with his sentence Dan mimicked Phil’s gesture and leant on the wall too so they were standing face to face.
“Doing that he kept eye contact and he did it multiple times.” Phil raised an eyebrow and exhaled air in form of a rather mocking little laugh. “Oh and he also did it by handing me my coat. At the beginning and the end of our… Meeting.” He stopped speaking for a few seconds, both during the sentence and now. They kept looking in each other’s eyes when Dan lifted his left arm and stopped only centimetres above Phil’s shoulder. Wearing a loose pyjama shirt with a large neckline it exposed much of his soft, pale skin. Unlike Dan, Phil kept eye contact but Dan’s glance wandered to his shoulder, to the exposed part of his skin and all over his neck up to his lips ,where they were resting only a little bit too long which Phil observed and finally met Phil’s eyes again. 
“Rick was very nice and gestured me to turn around so he could diveste me of my coat. His slender and gentle hands stroke over my sensitive neck and ghosted from my shoulders down to my ellbows in the motion.” Dan lowered his hand, resting it on Phil’s shoulders it for a short moment before letting it slide from his shoulders all the way down to his ellbow where his fingertips were the last thing he parted from Phil’s warm skin, glance following the trace of his hand. Eyes locked with Phil’s again he had to swallow because he realised that he was doing something which could rapidly evolve into something dangerous but at the moment he didn’t care at all and the smirk on his face only expanded when he saw those dilated pupils in front of him. 
It took Phil very much to suppress the immideate reaction of his body in form of goosebumps but he managed to and also kept his pokerface, not wanting Dan to know how much he actually enjoyed the gentle gesture. But he didn’t want him to stop either and tilted his head to the left side, giving Dan more access to his neck and showing that he wasn’t reluctant at all. “It was such a… Nice gesture of him and I was pleased to notice his offer at the end of our dinner, too, so I gladly took it.” Now Dan did the same thing again, beginning at the end this time. “I could still feel the pressure of his touch through the fabric of my pullover and it went from my arm all the way up to my shoulders.” His fingertips rested above his neck where they ghosted before he lowered his arm again. “And of course also lightly touching-” Dan tilted his head only a little bit backwards, lowering his eyelids and opening his mouth more, forming a suggestive O-shape. “- my neck.”
Dan was driving Phil crazy. The unexpected touches, the way he opened his mouth and the way this little bastard was so calm during telling Phil something which made him go so wild. Phil wanted to stick his tongue into Dan’s mouth, make him shut up, kiss him hard and suck at his lips until they are swollen and covered in his salvia. He wanted it so bad. He needed to.
Dan almost lifted his hand for a third time but didn’t come this far because Phil carefully grabbed his wrist with his right hand, stopped leaning onto the wall and stood tall. Then he gradually closed the space between them, stood in front of Dan, making him turn around and lean his back against the wall because he was so close. Phil was staring so intensively that Dan couldn’t do anything other than return his glance and move back to the wall, lips slightly parted. Phil held for a second before moving even closer to Dan, letting go of his hand because it was now pressed against Phil’s chest, feeling his tensed muscles. Dan swallowed.
Phil said: “Oh, tell me, Dan… Did his hand move upwards far enough…” Phil mimicked Dan’s gesture and his right hand stroke Dan’s throat when he said: “…to discover your sensitive spots?” Suddenly his hand wandered to the back of his head, tilting it to the right side as Phil’s head shot down towards his neck, lips attacking the spot which was Dan’s most sensitive and sucking, licking and carressing it. The sudden gesture and the intense feeling made Dan shiver. He closed his eyes, gladly granting Phil more access to his neck by tilting his head even further and let out a surpressed moan, hands grabbing Phil’s waist to push him further towards him although they already were the closest they could get. Phil’s lips sucked hard at Dan’s skin, leaving one or two hickeys behind which would be clearly visible afterwards. He wanted to make sure Dan wouldn’t be going on a date too soon and wanted the whole world to know that only he is allowed to touch Dan. His Dan. Of course Phil was having some minor worries whether Dan was content with his actions or not but Phil knew that he’d tell him when something made him uncomfortable and Dan hasn’t said a single thing yet. He knows that Dan likes boys… And he knows that Dan likes him… In a way he wouldn’t like anybody ever which made him quite proud.
He smiled, still kissing Dan’s neck, when Dan suddenly shifted away beneath him. The idea that Dan was feeling pressed immideately shot through Phil’s head but when he looked him in the eyes, he saw everything but a pressed Dan staring back at him. In a very seductive way. “Well…”, he started his sentence smilingly at first but remembered to put his pokerface back on. Dan put his hands around Phil’s neck and let his eyes wander down Phil’s body pressed towards his. The tip of his tongue temptingly ran over his lips. Phil felt as if Dan was eyeing him and he didn’t like the feeling at all. Feeling a little bit insecure at first, Phil decided to play the confident one and roll his hips against Dan’s, closing the centimetres between them. The action made Dan’s head fall back against the wall and a moan escaped his mouth, opening it even more. “Well, what?” Phil asked with risen eyebrows. The brown eyes were opening and focused on him again, eyelids half shut. A cheeky grin appeared on his face. “Well, I have to admit, that wasn’t bad, but if you want to beat him”, that cheeky little shit bit his lip and stressed the last word, making it obvious who was meant “you have to show me more because he was a pretty good kisser…”
He… Him?? WHAT? Phil tried to hide his confusion in front of Dan but was hoping that what he just heard wasn’t true. The realisation of what Dan just said hit Phil with a new wave of anger and jealousy. This guy actually touched Dan, they kissed each other and Dan even liked it. 'A pretty good kisser…’ he said. Phil was determined to make Dan feel better than this whetever-his-name-was-guy ever could have. Phil let a grin appear on his face and chuckled. “Oh, a pretty good kisser, you said. Well, I personally am more than just a kisser…” 
His mouth shot towards Dan’s and his tongue was dominating the kiss. Moving his hand underneath Dan’s shirt he tugged it a bit upwards and carressed his soft skin the way he has always wanted to. When Phil added the friction of his hips against Dan’s, the younger boy moaned against his mouth with eyes shut in pleasure. The hands around Phil’s neck tugged him more towards Dan and he sustained himself on the wall, his hands caging the other. Dan returned the moves and tangled his hands in Phil’s hair. Both of them, bodies pressed tightly against each other, were breathing heavily but none of them wanted to break the kiss as a part of them grew harder and harder.
After some more kisses and grinding Phil pulled away as he needed some air. He leaned his forehead against the other’s and breathed deeply, looking into Dan’s eyes. For the first time this evening the feeling of intimacy hit him and he realized what they were actually doing. Dan’s sking touching his. The soft feeling of Dan’s lips still tingling on his own. He was so close that the fascinating and sharp details of his brown iris’ were clearly visible, even the small ring around the pupils. Driven by the want to give this moment a far bigger meaning, Phil slowly leaned in. He was still looking Dan in the eyes because he wanted to make sure that he totally aggreed with what he was doing but as he shut his Phil gained confidence and finally closed the space between them, kissing Dan. It wasn’t as rough as before but rather soft and deep with all the love expressed which has been bottled up inside of them for years. Phil savoured the feeling of Dan’s soft lips between his, slowly detaching and reconnecting. The moment seemed to last an eternity or at least Phil wanted it to, as a smile slowly started forming on his lips. He moved away a bit to take a proper look at Dan and saw that he was smiling, too. He bit his lips and his cheeks were having kind of a rosy colour when he looked aside. Phil lifted his right hand slowly and stroked over Dan’s jawline with care. As he wanted to continue, Dan turned his head and the cheeky grin was back on his face, lower lip still between his teeth. Already opening his mouth to say something Phil interrupted him with the mumbling of “Cheeky little shit”, also grinning. “What?” he asked with a sanctimonious look on his face, as if he hadn’t heard the words himself. “Oh, nevermind. C'mon…” Phil took Dan’s left hand and went down the hall to his room. 
Dan was the last one to enter the room so he closed the door. The moment he wanted to turn around and face him again, Phil did that for him and immideately pressed Dan against it. Eager for more he connected their lips and his hands were all over his body again. Dan’s gasp as a reaction to the sudden contanct turned into a pleased moan. Phil felt the other’s hands wander to his chest, stroking the soft skin underneath his shirt. He pulled away and started sucking at Dan’s neck again causing goosebumps to appear on the soft skin underneath him. The other’s hands were tangled in his raven black hair as satisfied moans escaped his mouth. Phil knew what to do to satisfy Dan. He observed him all these years, noticing little things and hoping he’d get to do them at least once in a lifetime. Now that the time has come Dan was a panting and moaning mess since he worked on him with his hand through his pants.
Dan pulled Phil away only to kiss him again and again, needier with every kiss. Phil had to smile. “This-,” he tugged at Dan’s shirt and looked him in the eyes, “-has to disappear. Immideately.” The commanding tone in Phil’s voice made Dan react in less than a second, throwing his shirt on the floor. Dan now undressed Phil and tossed it asides aswell. Skin touching skin now. Phil ran his hands eagerly over Dan’s chest, carressing his nipples and enjoying every single inch of his beautiful body. The pain in his pants made him focus on the currently more important things and his hands wandered to Dan’s lower back. His fingers slipped under his boxers and grabbed Dan’s ass harshly. Phil was looking Dan in the eyes to observe his reaction as he sharply inhaled and bit down on his lip so vigorously it must have hurt. Their eyes connected and Dan leaned against the door, pressing Phil’s hands even more towards his soft ass. That was enough of an approval to make Phil continue. He lowered his voice on purpose. “I bet this guy didn’t come that far, did he? Pants. Off. Now.” After removing his hands, Phil undid Dan’s zipper and Dan continued himself. Standing tall again he leaned over to whisper into Phil’s ear with a sweet and innocent voice. “Don’t worry, I’ll fix your problem for you.” 
Phil’s heart rate sped up as he took a step backwards to create more space for Dan who was kneeling down in front of him. With one fluent motion Dan managed to tug down pants and boxers at the same time, revieling Phil’s red hard cock. Exposed like that in front of Dan he blushed a little and got a bit nervous but his thoughts and everything else in his mind were pushed away by Dan who wrapped his hand around his cock and started slowly stroking it, carressing the tip of it with his thumb now and then. Phil threw his head back to the sudden sensation and couldn’t hold back the deep moan which escaped his mouth. Having the scenario he has been dreaming of for a long time finally in front of him aroused him even more and he looked down. Dan’s face was close to his cock and he looked up so innocently to Phil, still stroking it. Phil’s hands naturally tangled in Dan’s hair, ruffling his fringe. Whilst he kept the eye contact with Phil, Dan opened his mouth and took Phil’s cock. All at once. Dan’s soft lips touched the base of his cock and started sucking, his tongue swirling over Phil’s slit. It was more than Phil could take at the moment and he pressed Dan’s head towards it, driven by want for more. Every time Dan swallowed around him another gasp came out of his mouth and his muscles were tensed from pleasure. Phil was growing harder and harder if that’s even physically possible. He never though that someone could fit his entire cock into their mouth becuse it’s not a rather small sized one but Dan managed to and it drove him wild. His abdomen got hotter the more Dan sucked but he managed to remind him to also please Dan.
“Wait a moment-” Dan pulled away and looked up to Phil. “Stand up.” He did as he was told and Phil just lightly kissed him, biting Dan’s lower lip but pulling away the second after. Phil started at his collarbone and placed all the way up to Dan’s mouth soft kisses, tugging at his arm and spinning him around that way. Whilst kissing he went towards him so Dan had to walk backwards and fell onto Phil’s bed after more kisses. After finally having completely undressed the two were naked and lying on the bed. Dan was still underneath Phil, one leg stretched and the other one bent to the side, one hand lying over his head and the other one caressing Phil’s lip or playing with his hair. Phil was on top of him, half sustaining himself with his elbows on the sheets, one leg between Dan’s to create some pressure. For one moment it felt like it was only them in their room and nothing else seemed to matter. Only the slightly audible breathing could be heard and the feeling of skin on skin seemed to occupy all of their other senses. Their warmth completed the room and the other’s pulses which could be felt at various places was creating a soft beat, filling the moment with vividness. Phil bent down and pecked on his lips slowly and playfully, turning them into soft kisses from time to time. Dan shut his eyes and kissed back in the same soft and lovely way at first and it was slowly turning into a passionate tongue kiss, heated and hot. The pressure of their hips on each other increased and needy for more, one red and swollen cock was rubbing against the other. Being a hot and panting mess Phil ended the kiss and reached over to the bedside drawer, opening one of them to grab lube and a condom. 
He backed away from Dan to stand on his knees and slowly open the condom, throwing the packaging away in one swift motion. Clearly knowing that Dan was watching him eagerly he made it as slowly as he possibly could, watching his hands put the condom on and savouring the feeling of his own hands. His mouth fell open and he closed his eyes as his muscles tensed visibly. It caused Dan to let out an annoyed moan: “Jesus Christ Phil fucking Lester could you please speed up a bit and stop teasing me or I am going to come without you.” A grin appeared on Phil’s face and he looked down to him under his half shut eyelids: “Well Dan, then I don’t have any choice and I have to make you come twice this night. ” which caused Dan to blush slightly. He rolled his eyes at Phil who took equally as much time for applying the lube. 
When he was done he leaned down and sustained himself with his left arm next to Dan’s face, making eye contact. The other hand was above Dan’s entrance and teased his rim with one finger. Dan’s muscles seemed to relax and he pushed the first finger inside. As he loved the expression of lust and satisfaction on Dan’s face he moved a bit around before pushing a second finger in and hitting his sweet spot. A moan escaped his mouth and he pushed his hips down on Phil’s fingers with the want for more. Not immideately giving Dan what he wants he continues teasing and sometimes touching his sweet spot. Phil’s want for friction made him add a third finger and pull all of them out after he made sure that Dan was stretched enough. 
Phil leaned down to position himself and slowly push inside Dan giving him enough time to adjust before pushing in all the way. The boy underneath him hissed before moaning and looking up to Phil to tell him to continue. He pushed all the way in and threw his head back, moaning at Dan’s tightness. He started slowly pushing in and out but since the two of them were already very built up, the pace didn’t last long and Phil rocked faster. Taking Dan’s legs and putting them on his shoulders, Phil was now able to push even deeper inside Dan and sped up. Their hips were crashing against each other and Dan’s legs tensed. As Phil wrapped his hand around Dan’s cock and strocked him to the motions of his hips, his eyes fell shut and he arched his back, giving Phil the expression he wanted to see. The way Dan was being fucked by him and the way he liked it and his muscles tensed around Phil’s cock was pushing him closer to the edge. His motions got faster and harder with every moan as Dan stammerd:“ I-I Phil, I-I’m c-close aaah.” His fists clenched around the bedsheet and his entrance tightened. Phil was equally as close and all it took was the sight of the panting mess Dan was underneath him and he came, also making Dan come with some last few intense strokes. Both of them were crying out in pleasure. Dan came all over their stomachs and chests, Phil came inside of Dan, directly against his spot, making him tense even more. 
Phil stroked him down from his high and was lying on top of him, appreciating this moment and not wanting it to end. He blushed slightly, thinking of all the things he’s said and thought. It’s still overwhelming to him that he finally had sex with Dan. He pulled out and rolled over next to Dan, sustaining his head on his left hand and looking down on him, down on the beautiful panting boy with cum all over his stomach. Neither of them made an effort to whipe it away. “Hey.” His free right hand wandered over his torso, fingers ghosting over the hot skin. Dan opened his eyes and his head turned around to face Phil. “Hey.” They both started to grin and some laughed escaped their mouths. Phil lied completely down next to Dan and looked him in the eyes:“ I think…” He began the sentence and made a little pause. “…I love you.” Dan continued. He looked down to his lips and slowly leaned forward, hestitant, but Dan closed the gap between them. This kiss felt like the first real one of the whole evening. It meant something. Something big both of them have waited an eternity for to happen. Now that it’s here, it’s real and it’s something so precious neither of them will let go. Ever.

[littlellamalittlelion]

My Little Baby Llama - Part 2

This is the second part of “ My Little Baby Llama” series. This one is more Phan Fluff than Lizzie and Dan fluff, but I loved writing it as all. Hope you guys like it! And forgive me about the mistakes, English is not my first language, and its 4am right now.

PART 1 

AO3

Part 2: A weird night 

Dan’s POV

I have always been very lucky on the “new parent” department. First of all, Lizzie didn’t cry at night. She wouldn’t sleep until 3 am, but she wouldn’t cry either. For the first few months after she was born, I would sleep at Clary’s, to take care of her in the middle of the night, since I wouldn’t sleep early either. It was hard because of the fans, Phil and I had to pretend to be living together, but we weren’t for 90% of the time. I always thought that we were too lucky, that one day we would be sleeping at 4am and she would wake up screaming and wouldn’t stop until noon, but that was never the case. After she grew up, she never gave us hard time either. I moved to London when she was really small, so she was used to talk to me most of the time trough facetime and skype, and I would make sure to come home to her every few months and on Christmas. For her last two birthdays I wasn’t able to be here for her, because of radio show and live show, but we always made sure to celebrate it in a big way, and I was present online. She is fine with that. She is a really smart girl that understands the world around her, and that makes me one of the luckiest person in the world. Except for today.

“MOMMY! COME BACK MOMMY!” Screamed Lizzie, waking up Phil and I. I got up really quick and grabbed my daughter that was sobbing crying sitting on the bed in the middle of Phil and I.

“Hey, hey, baby girl, whats wrong?” I asked her, pulling her to my chest so she could sit on my lap.

“Daddy! I don’t want you, I want mommy.” Cried her, trying to leave my embrace. I let her go, and she kneels in the bed, looking for something. “Where is Miss Llama? I want Miss Llama, mommy gave me Miss Llama for when she is not with me. Where is it daddy?”

“I think I saw it downstairs, I’ll go look for it, okay?” Said Phil, getting up. I should be feeling bad for Lizzie waking him up, but I was just worried about the fact that she didn’t want me.

“Phil is going to bring your llama, baby girl. Come back here.” I say, opening my arms, waiting Lizzie to come back to me, she waits for a few seconds, and give up, coming back to my embrace. “What is wrong? Did you have a bad dream? ” I ask, worried. She agrees with her head. “Want to tell me what happened? Maybe daddy can help you.”

“Mommy was telling me that she had to go, she looked beautiful, she had big white wings and a flower crown, but she was walking away, and leaving me behind. I wanted to go with her, but she wouldn’t take me. She said that I should stay with you, that one day she would come back to pick me up. Where is mommy going?” She asks, sobbing. My brain was still trying to wrap around something to answer to my 4 years old daughter that wouldn’t hurt her feelings, and Phil came back to the room, with a small yellow teddy llama, and gave to Elizabeth. “Thank you Uncle Philly.”

“No problem baby girl, I think Miss Llama was feeling lonely downstairs, she was on the couch by herself.” Said Phil, sitting on the edge of one side the bed. I noticed that he still had his jeans, and lenses on, he was not ready to sleep when we went to bed.

“Miss Llama doesn’t like to be alone.” Agreed Lizzie, putting her head on my chest, leaning on my, hugging the teddy. “Where is mommy, uncle Philly?” Asked her, turning her big brown eyes to my best friend. Phil looked at me, asking with his eyes for some help to answer that.

“She is in the hospital, remember? I told you that she is sick, and she has to stay there for a few days, like you when you had your tummy ache. “ I answer quick, saving Phil from the question.

“And she is going to have a lot of jelly, right?” Asks her, starting to fall asleep again.

“Yes, she is going to have a lot of jelly, just like us tomorrow.” I answer, laying down with her still wrapped in my arms.

“Can uncle Philly have jelly with us too?” Is the last thing she says before falling asleep again.

“If he wants to.” I answer, looking at Phil. He is staring at the two of us, wrapped around each other, laying in the middle of the bed. He agrees with his head and smile at us. Phil wouldn’t say no to jelly, he is addicted to it.

“Thank you for picking up her teddy bear, I’m sorry she woke  you up.” I say after a while we were just staring at each other and Lizzie sleeping. “You know that I never wanted to suck you into this whole thing, but thank you for always being around me, around us, to help.”

“You don’t have to apologize or thank me Dan, in the minute she wrapped her little fingers around my hand the day she was born and you put her in my arms I was done too. I know it’s kinda weird and messed up, but I sometimes feel like she is a little piece of me too. You know I would do anything to protect her. You are my best friend, and you, Clary, and even me, we were all basically kids when she was born, we hold on to each other, to make her life better. Or you really think I would let you destroy this little girl’s life with swearing, cheese, Kanye West, and High School Musical? Someone had to teach her how to eat dry cereal from the box and give her a hamster so she can breed them and make some money in middle school.”

“You are not giving a hamster to my daughter.” I say, meaning it. “Oh common, she lives in a house, she can have a hamster, there is no landlord to say she can’t.” Jokes Phil, smiling with her tongue poking to one side.

“The landlord is not the problem Phil! Those animals have souls too! How would you feel if you were trapped on a cage running in a wheel for the rest of your life?”

“Well, maybe we are! Maybe we are trapped in this wheel, doing the same thing over and over again, while aliens observes us and make notes about our behavior, and one day they will take us out of this meaningless life circle and gives a purpose in life.”

“See! Even you agree that a life on a cage is meaningless. No more discussion here, you are not giving a hamster to my daughter.” I say, pulling Lizzie closer to me, and grabbing my phone to check the time. “You should change, its only 2am, its not gonna be comfortable to sleep in jeans for the whole night. You can use my bathroom if you want, there are some pj’s pants on the top drawer if you didn’t bring any.” I say, noticing that he is still in the same spot, sited in the corner of the bed, looking completely uncomfortable.

“Thank you daddy.” Joked Phil. It was probably supposed to sound like a joke, about the way Lizzie calls me, but it kinda sounded dirty and Phil noticed it, leaving the bed laughing at me. I grabbed his pillow and threw it across the room, hitting him in the head. “Fuck Dan!” Screamed Phil, covering his mouth when he noticed what he had said, and that he had screamed and almost woke up Lizzie.

“Mind your language around my daughter, Mr. I-don’t-swear-Lester.” I say, trying to sound serious, but laughing at him too. Phil grabbed a pj on the top drawer and was leaving the room.

“Where are you going?”

“To the spare room, to sleep. Its 2am, some of us actually like to sleep before 4am.”

“The spare room sucks. Dad didn’t have time to pick up the big mattress from the storage room, the bunk-bed barely fits a kid on it, and the sheets are probably old and dirty. You can stay here with me, this bed probably fits 5 of us, and Lizzie will feel better to wake up with you here.” None of these reasons were a lie, but they weren’t the only reason why Dan wanted Phil there. With everything happening, Dan was not feeling very well himself, he needed support, and Phil was his best friend, the person he trusted the most in his life. “I will feel better with you here. Please?”

“Okaaay…” Answered him rolling his eyes, but I knew that inside he was glad to be able to help. “Hey, why can you sleep in t-shit and boxers and I have to put pjs on?”

“Well, you don’t have to, I just though you would like too. My mom always burst into the room in the middle of the morning to wake Lizzie up for breakfast, but it’s not like she is not used to walk on me half naked with someone in my bed. That sounded weird, ignore that. The thing is, is up to you, just please don’t sleep naked around my daughter, I’m trying to keep her mind pure until she is at least 15.”

“Isn’t 15 a little too young yet? Most parents want to keep their kids pure until 21.” Says Phil, taking his pants off in the middle of the room, we were both used to each other walking only in our boxers around the house, so there was no problem there.

“We live in the 21st century Phil, its rare to find 13 years old that have never read smut fan fiction in life before. I am not that antiquate.” I comment, trying to readjust myself in the bed, to make more comfortable to my little girl to fit in the arc between my arm and chest. “Why are you putting my pjs pants on?” I ask, while he tries to fit his leg into the pants leg without holding anywhere and trying not to fall. He fails miserably and falls butt first in the floor. I try to hold my laugh, so I wont wake up anyone in the house, and almost fail at it, but I was able to control because of Lizzie shifting in my arms.

“You might be used to your mom walking into your room with you naked in the bed with people, but I prefer to be dressed if aliens decide to abduct me in the middle of the night for experiments, thank you.” Answers him, siting on the floor, finishing to put clothes on. Phil stands up and goes to his bag, to get his glasses from his backpack and moves to the bathroom to take his lenses off. A few minutes after he climbs back in the bed with his glasses on. “You never told me how Clary is actually doing. Did you talk to your mom after we felt asleep?”

“Yes, I did.” I said, checking Lizzie to be sure she was asleep before continuing. “She has tons of broken bones, a lot of bruises on, and a lot of trouble breathing. She is surviving only trough machines basically. Mom didn’t have much info to give me, but the final word I have is that the doctors don’t believe that is much more they can do, and only a miracle can save her. I am scared. With all this info, and this crazy feelings and dreams Lizzie is having with Clary, I don’t know if there is any hope at all for her. Kids are weird mate, they feel things we don’t feel, they know things we don’t know, and I am really scared that we are going to loose Clarisse.” I said, trying to control my breathing, so i wouldn’t cry. Phil pushed himself closer to me and Lizzie and hold my hand that was around my daughter’s body. “I’m scared of what happens after. I know Riley won’t try to take Lizzie from me, and I know that mom and dad would totally take care of her, raise her, but I can’t let them do that. I can’t let Lizzie loose her mom and live without both of us through her whole childhood. But at the same time I can’t just push her into our lives, and let her grow up in the craziness of youtube and radio shows. I don’t know what to do.” By now I am not able to control the crying anymore, and tears are falling down my face.

“Hey, Dan, don’t worry about it. Not now. We don’t know what is going to happen. Maybe a miracle is going to happen and Clary will be fine by next week, running around their garden, playing in the snow. We never know. And if it comes to it, you won’t have to take care of Lizzie by yourself. You have me, you have your mom, and we have our friends. I know that putting Lizzie into the world of youtube is scary and crazy, but maybe its going to be good for her. If she is surrounded by the amazing friends that we have, maybe she will be okay. We don’t have to introduce her to our fans, not now, but we can introduce her to our friends, and she will be loved by everyone. She got us wrapped in her little hands, she will have them all around her fingers in seconds. Maybe you are too worried about protecting her from the world, that you don’t see that you are excluding her from it. She needs more human interaction, and if she looses her mom, she will need more people around to love and protect her. It will be fine Dan, everything will be okay. You will see.” Said Phil, hugging me - and Lizzie that was between us - with one arm, in the bed.

Phil had one point, even if I didn’t want to look at it and consider it for a while, it kinda made sense. For the moment I just wanted to sleep and forget, to have a few hours to live in the world of dreams, on the highest clouds in the sky, or diving on the deep waters of the ocean. Away from life, away from responsibilities. And I felt the sleep coming to me, in the warmth of Lizzie and Phil’s arms.

I dreamed about PlaylistLive, about having my friends around me, but it was different this time. Me, Phil and Louise were sitting on a couch, on the backstage, watching Lizzie, Darcy, Emilia and Eduardo running around us, having fun.  Everyone else was there too. Zoe and Alfie, Joe, Caspar, Jim, Tanya, Marcus, Tyler, Cat, Connor, Troye, everyone was around, watching the kids, laughing with us. Lizzie was happy, on her black dress and green boots, she was loving it. It made me happy, it made me feel better.

I woke up feeling a lot better about life, than when I went to sleep. I might have been because of the good dream I had about my daughter and my friends, or because I woke up having my baby girl and Phil around my arms. Mine and Phil’s relationship has always been kinda of a messy “we don’t talk about it” thing, but has always worked perfectly for us. We never get too worried about getting too touchy with each other, or being too needing of each other, and we never had problems with our friendship level. Everything always worked pretty fine between us, and that was the beauty of it. In the end we were family, no other labels needed in the middle of it.

Lizzie started to move around a little bit, trying to leave our embrace, waking up. I knew my mom was 5 minutes from crashing into our room, and she would have some things to talk about the way me and Phil where crushing Lizzie in the middle of us, but I didn’t care. I needed them close to me, so I could survive trough this day.

“Good morning baby llama.” I whispered quietly to my girl, trying no to wake Phil up, in the end it was just 9am, and he deserved more sleep time. I was worried about how Lizzie would be feeling today, on how she was going to be dealing with everything this morning, so I tried to give her space to wake up and think a little bit, and let her answer me when she was ready.

“Good morning daddy bear.” Answered her, giving me a kiss on the cheek. “I’m hungry daddy, can we have jelly for breakfast, like mommy?” And there she was, strong, happy, cute as always. I don’t know what I did to deserve such an amazing kid, but I was happy for her existence.

“I am not sure if we can. Lets go ask grandma what she did for breakfast, should we?” I ask, trying to get up without waking Phil up. After being successful on it, I took my daughter out of the bed and moved us to the restroom, so we could brush our teeth. All done and she just run out of the room, looking for grandma, really excited about the day.

“DADDY! Grandma made cereal! Come eat with me!” Screamed my little girl from downstairs, waking up Phil.

“Good morning sleeping beauty. Breakfast is ready. We should go eat, I want to go to the hospital before it gets too crazy and people are able to recognize us.” I say, trying to fiz my hobbit hair in the mirror.

“I’ll be down in a sec, just need to put some clothes on.” He said leaving the bed and facing me on the mirror. Phil was always able to see trough my eyes into my soul. “Everything will be okay Dan, we will go through this together, I promise you.” And with those words, he made my morning even better, and I was good to leave my room and face reality again. I was ready to face my daughter’s mom, and decide our future. 

Part 3 

[littlellamalittlelion]

My Little Baby Llama

I just thought this would be a different, kinda cool, new story. 

Prompt: Dan has a 4 years old daughter, Elizabeth, that only his family and Phil knows about. She lives with her mom, Clary, in a house next to Dan’s parents, and she grew up having Dan’s family, her mom, Dan and Phil supporting her. Lizzie is the happiness in Dan’s live, but to protect her he only sees her when he goes to his parents, and he talks to her every week on facetime. When an accident happens to Clary, and leaves her in a coma, everything that Lizzie wants is her Daddy, and Dan will do anything to make his baby girl happy again. Even if it means to take her back with him to London to live with him and Phil.

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone, just the story behind it! I hope you guys are ready for real fluff parent!Dan and Uncle!Phil

I don’t know how many parts will be there, but enjoy this one!

AO3 

PART 1: The Accident 

Dan’s P.OV

“Are you coming to Brazil? “ I read out loud from the chat. “I’d love to come to Brazil one day. Its a cool country that I’ve never been to.” I answer, trying to ignore my phone calling for the third time. My mom has this thing that she always forget that my live shows are on Tuesday’s nights, and since Tuesday is the day that Lizzie leaves school earlier and stays the whole afternoon with her, she always calls me to let me talk to my baby girl.

Lizzie, or Elizabeth Anne Platt-Howell, is my just-turned 4 years old daughter. Back in 2011, when me and Phil still lived together in Manchester I met a girl, named Clarisse Platt , she was a Law student just like me, she was from the same city as me,  and we were really good friends, even after I dropped college. One day we were just having fun with some school friends, and we ended up really drunk and things happened, things that we didn’t want to discuss because we were just friends that made a mistake, but the mistake ended up in something more, and 9 months later, on the 5th of January 2012, Lizzie was born.  I was there when Lizzie was born. Holding that small little yellow package in my arms for the first time was the best moment of my life, Lizzie had me around her fingers from day one. But 2012 was the year that my whole life changed. Phil and I were starting to get more recognition because of youtube, and some BBC Radio 1 things, and our fans were really lovely, but kinda crazy, and I was afraid of letting Lizzie grow up in this world. So I ended up having to take the hardest decision of my life: leave Lizzie behind with her mom and my parents, and move to London with Phil, so we could pursue with our youtube careers and work at BBC.

Clary and I decided that it was better for Lizzie if no one knew about her existence, and people that actually knew, didn’t know who her father was. Lizzie would use just her mom’s last name in school, and I would travel to see "my parents" as much as possible, so I could spend time with her. The fans never discovered, too blinded by all the “Phan” things to notice the real us and that was really good. Phil loves Lizzie as his own. He always wanted kids, but he thinks he is too young for it, funny thing is that I am four years younger and I have a 4 years old daughter, and now he basically adopted my kid. Lizzie loves “Uncle Philly”, but that is because Phil always gives her the best gifts ever, like for real, the girl has everything, all because Phil can’t say no to her. He is the one to blame if she is a spoiled brat in the future.

“Earth to Dan!” Screamed Phil entering the room. I was talking some random stuffs to people in the live chat, completely oblivious to life around me, and he scared me as hell.

“Jesus on a freaking bicycle Phil! You could have killed me!” I scream at him, laughing. I turn my chair to look at him, and he has a serious face on, and his phone in his hand. Something was wrong.

“Your mom needs to talk to you. It is really important, you should take it.” He says, offering me his phone. The first thing that came to my mind was Elizabeth. My mom would never call Phil if it wasn’t an emergency with my daughter. I remember the first time she had the flu, Clary was panicking, she didn’t knew what to do, so she called my mom, that only lives a few blocks away, and my mom helped at 5am. Mom tried calling me, but I am a heavy sleeper, so I didn’t wake up, so she called Phil. He made sure to wake me up and leave me watching them on facetime for the whole morning, until Lizzie was okay. I got up my chair as fast as possible getting the phone from Phil’s hands, and leaving the room. I heard Phil trying to distract the fans on the live show, but I actually didn’t care much about them right now, my baby girl needed me.

“Mom? Whats wrong? Is everything okay?” I answer, making sure not to say anything that the fans couldn’t hear, just in case they still could hear me from the office.

“Dan you have to come home. Clary was in an accident, the doctor don’t know if she will be okay. Lizzie is going crazy, we didn’t tell her anything but as soon as the phone ringed with the news she started crying asking for “Daddy”. She needs you. Its like she knows that something is wrong with her mom, and she wants you, she won’t stop crying and asking for you. I tried everything, she doesn’t want Miss Llama, she doesn’t want chocolate, she wants you. Your dad is in the hospital waiting for news with Clary’s sister, Riley, and I should go there later, to stay the night. You have to take the first cab and come home. Now.” My mom said, in one go. My brain was still trying to work around that information, when I heard my baby crying asking for me.

“Mom let me talk to Lizzie.” Thats everything that I could say. I heard my mom calling her, and putting her in the phone, in the same time that Phil joined me in the office, looking worried. He told me that the live show was off and the fans were okay, just worried, I thanked him, and heard the phone being passed to another hand.

“Daddy?” I heard the sweet voice of my daughter on the phone.

“Hey baby girl. I heard you were giving Nana a hard time, what is wrong?”

“Daddy? Where are you? Mommy is leaving me, why everyone leaves me, daddy?” Cried Elizabeth on the phone.

“Hey, mommy is not leaving you, neither am I. You know that daddy lives far away, so he can work and buy you all your amazing things, don’t you? You know that I love you, and I won’t leave you. You don’t need to worry about it.” I answered her, trying not to cry, leaving the office and going back to my room, to start packing, Phil followed me, trying to help. I told him to pack his stuffs if he wanted to come with me, and he went back quickly to his room.

“Why isn’t mommy home?” Asked her, crying again.

“Mommy is sick, Little Llama. Do you remember when you were sick, with a tummy ache, and you had to stay in the hospital for a few days?” I asked her, while trying to grab some shirts and my laptop and chargers.

“Yes, and they gave me a lot of jelly. I like jelly.” She sounds a little bit better already.

“Yes, they did give you a lot of jelly. So, mommy is sick, she has to stay in the hospital a few days, and Daddy is going to stay with you, okay? But you have to be good to Nana until I get there, can you do that for me Little Llama?”

“Yes daddy. Is mommy going to eat a lot of jelly too? Can I have some?” The crying was stopping, and she was just sobbing a little bit now.

“I am sure she will, and yes, I will make you some jelly tomorrow, okay? But you have to be a good girl and be good to Nana and Grandpa until I get there, okay? I will be with you as soon as possible, and we will watch Pooh and I will read a little bit more for you of our book, so we can go to bed, okay baby girl?”

“Okay, I will be good, I promise. I love you daddy.” She said, warming my heart.

“I love you too baby girl, now give the phone back to Nana okay? Daddy needs to talk to her.” I asked, closing my bag, checking if I had everything I needed. I had a lot of clothes back in my parents house, so I didn’t need much. I heard my mom grabbing the phone back, and I sit on my bed to talk to her.

“I swear to God, she is daddy’s little girl for sure, I don’t know how you are able to make her do whatever you need so easily.”

“She is smart, she understand’s me. Anyways, take care of her for me please, I will be there in an hour, I’m ordering an Uber and me and Phil will just jump in the car and get there. Call me if you have any news on Clary.” I said, mom agreed and we turned the phones off.

“I packed everything. I didn’t have time to buy her a gift, but I have a chocolate box for her, so I think she will be okay.” Said Phil smiling, with a chocolate box in his hands.

“Really Phil, you should stop, she is going to be such a spoiled girl in the future, I won’t be able to take care of her one day.” I said winking at him and grabbing my bag. I ordered the Uber, we checked the whole house for open windows and left, for the 1h drive. “I really should apologize to the live show people. What did you said to them?”

“I said that you had a little family emergency, and that we would talk to them soon, but they didn’t need to be worried about it. How is Clary?”

“They still don’t know. My dad is in the hospital with her and her sister, my mom is going there later, once we get in the house. Lizzie is freaking out though. She had no clue of what was happening, but she was going crazy thinking that Clary didn’t love her anymore and was leaving her. I don’t know why.” I said, taking my phone out of my pocket and tweeting a sincere apology to all my fans.

“She is very perceptive Dan, Clary was supposed to pick her up in you mom’s today, right? So once she didn’t show up, she just assumed something. Everything will be fine, you will see.” Said Phil, calming me down. I was better with him by my side.

The Uber driver was really quick, so it only took us 55 minutes to get home. I run out of the car and opened the door as fast as possible, to see my little girl, in pink pjs, sited on the floor, playing with a Frozen Castle Lego. Se looked up when she heard the door and once she saw me she run to me as fast as her little legs could reach. I dropped on my knees and hugged her as strong as possible, without wanting to let her go, ever.

“Daddy you are here!” She said, smiling and hugging me right tight with her tiny little arms.

“I told you I would come! I see you were having fun with the gift Uncle Phil gave to you for Christmas.” I said, not wanting to let her go.

“Yes daddy! I love my Frozen Castle, its amazing, like Uncle Philly!” She said trying to leave my embrace, and I let her go.

“So your amazing Uncle Philly deserves a hug too or not?” Said Phil, coming trough the door behind me. I completely forgot him in the car with all of our stuffs. He placed all the bags on the floor just in time to be hit on the legs by a running girl.

“UNCLE PHILLY! You came too!”

“Of course I did! Do you really think I would let your dad come all this way to see you, and not even come here to give you a gift?” Said Phil squatting next to me to hug her better.

“What did you bring me?” She asked really excited. Phil grabbed the chocolate box and gave it to her, what made her really happy. “Thank you Uncle Philly! You are the best, I love you!”

“Hey! What about me? I come all the way here to see you, and you only love ‘Uncle Philly’?” I joked, smiling at her.

“I love you too daddy, more than I love uncle Philly, because you are my daddy, and you look like me!” Answered her, hugging me again. I knew Phil would be hurt with her comment, but I made sure to look at him and smile, and he was smiling back just fine.

“Well, I don’t want to cut all the love here, but I really think you should all come fully inside the house so we can close the door, we never know who is walking on the streets these days, right?” Said my mom, looking at me with a warning face on. She was right, if a fan saw this scene, life would be over for Lizzie, she would never be a normal kid again. We grabbed our stuffs and walked all the way in the house. Phil with our bags, and me with Lizzie on my arms. “I know your dad just came back home, and you miss him and uncle Phil, but its time for little Elizabeth to go to bed!” Said mom, looking at me. I knew we needed to talk about Clary, and it would be easier with Lizzie sleeping, and it was already time for her to be in bed.

“Your Nana is right, you have to go to sleep. Lets go, I am gonna read you a little bit of your book, and we can talk about it until you feel sleepy, what do you think?” I said walking with her in my arms, stairs up to the second floor, where my room was. Lizzie didn’t have her own room. Since I was never home, and she lived with her mom and only spent a few days every week in here, my room was her room. The room was kinda weird and funky, but it worked for us. We had this huge black king size bed in one corner, with a desk in front of it, and some posters on the wall, in one side. And in the other side, a Pink single bed with white Frozen bed sheets, and fairy lights around it. Mom offered to put a wall in the middle of the giant room, to make a private space for Lizzie, and one for me, but I know that as soon as she grow up a little bit, she will want her own space, and I’m not ready to leave her alone yet on the only few times in the year that we see each other.  

Phil followed us to the room, so he could leave the bags on the floor, and prepared to leave the room when he saw me laying on my bed with Lizzie to tell her a history, but Lizzie was faster than him.

“Uncle Philly, come here! Daddy is reading me this book about wizards and castles and schools, and its so much fun! Stay here with us.” Asked her, putting her arms in the air, inviting Phil to our bed. Lizzie had never done this before. She always enjoyed the time we had together alone, but I guess because her mom is not here, and she knows that something is wrong, she feels like she needs someone else around her, to love her, and I am glad that she chose Phil. He would never let her down. The three of us had a lot of space in the bed. Phil was laying next to the wall, Lizzie was next to him, in the middle of the two of us, and I was sit on the edge of the bed, with a Harry Potter book in my hands. I started reading the book, and it didn’t took an entire chapter to Phil to be sleeping, holding Lizzie’s hand, that was almost sleeping too. I stopped reading to give her a goodnight kiss, and she hold my arm with her other hand.

“Daddy, is mommy going to heaven as Nana Aly and Grandpa John?” Asked my sleepy little llama. Clary’s parents had died in a airplane crash a long time ago, but Lizzie knew about them. She knew that she wouldn’t meet them because they were in heaven, looking out for her.

“I don’t know baby girl.” I didn’t want to lie to her. " But no matter what happens, mommy will always love you, and take care of you. Don’t you ever doubt that for even a second, okay Lizzie?” I said hugging her and kissing her forehead.

“Like you daddy?”

“Yes, just like me. We will always take care of you.” I said with a single tear leaving my eye.

“I love you Daddy Bear.” Said her before falling asleep.

“I love you too Baby Llama.” I answer, leaving the bed, trying not to wake her or Phil up. Phil had a long day, and were probably almost sleeping when my mom called him, so I was fine with him crashing in my bed for tonight, after all, he was always here for me, and no one deserves the bunk bed in the spare room.

I went down stairs to talk to my mom, who gave me all the infos about Clary’s accident. She was driving back from work to my parents house to pick up Lizzie, and a truck crashed face first on her. She had three respiratory fails since the accident, half of her bones were broken, and she was covered in plasters and bruises, the doctors didn’t have much hope for her. Only a miracle would save her life. To hear that from my mom, it was hard. Clary wasn’t the love of my life, but she was one of my best friends, she was the mom of my daughter, she was an amazing woman and an even better mom, I was shocked in how bed things always happens to good people. Mom left to the hospital, so dad could come rest, and I went straight to my room. I was so emotionally tired that I didn’t feel like changing into my pjs, so I took my jeans off and joined Lizzie and Phil in the bed.

Looking at my girl’s face, just like her mom, I let all the tears that I was holding crash down my face. After a couple of minutes I felt a hand reaching for mine. I looked up and Phil was looking at me, offering his hand over Lizzie’s pillow. I reached for his hand, and used his support to be strong. Strong for my little girl, strong for my family.

Part 2: A weird night