#fluister

[not-poignant]

Administrator Faber?! Did administrator Gwyn finally get to retire? *pets both of them*<3

Gwyn got to retire!

I've been thinking about making it Faber for such a long time, maybe two years now.

And one day he'll get to retire, followed by whichever neurotic hypercompetent subby disaster I'm writing next :D

[not-poignant]

@fluister replied to your post “Daily excerpt on last night's writing. I have NO...”:

WHAAAAAAT?? :D :D :D You're writing Bull and Cullen again! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH I'M SO EXCITED FOR THISSSS! :D:D:D

​I am!

I don't know why I'm starting a million new projects right now but I'm not fighting it lol

[not-poignant]

🌻 <3

<333!!!

So okay, randomly, my current ‘list’ of mental illnesses includes primarily PTSD (technically C-PTSD), major depressive disorder, and dissociative disorder not otherwise specified (DDNOS).

In the past, I’ve also had dissociative identity disorder (DID), and generalised anxiety disorder (GAD). GAD I thankfully destroyed, and it’s been one of my ‘least favourite’ chronic illnesses.

A lot of people are surprised to learn that I used to have ‘multiple personality disorder’ but actually it didn’t go into remission all that long ago. Well probably a long time by other people’s standards, but not mine. Maybe 6 or 7 years ago? In fact it wasn’t technically ‘me’ that got a Tumblr, but an alter of mine who at the time had full consciousness and would front and make many social media accounts for herself.

I’m pretty cohensive these days. I still dissociate, and I still have alters, but I no longer lose memory, time, or consciousness when they front, which is why I’m now ‘DDNOS’ rather than DID. Glen did say recently that this year he’s seen more ‘child alter’ behaviours than in previous years, which is probably a sign that the pandemic has been having an impact on me, even if I haven’t sort of noticed it ‘myself.’

But because of the DID, I have huge chunks of my life I can’t remember, along with people I don’t remember at all. If those alters front, they can access those memories, but I still can’t. I’m pretty zen about it. They’ve kept me alive for this long, after all, and we mostly all get along now.

You’re never really ‘cured’ from having DID or being a multiple. It’s basically in remission. It could relapse, but so far, so good. The PTSD I expect will never heal. There’s just been too much trauma from too much of a young age. It’s better than it was, and that’s all that matters to me.

[schrijfstruggles]

[gedicht] Ons Geheim

Woorden

Niet meer dan een zucht,

Maar de dragers van

Ons geheim.

  Je fluistert en ik huiver

Adem vormt beloften in de nacht

Een siddering in het duister.

  Ons geheim,

Niet meer dan een zucht

Gebeurd,

Maar nooit gesproken.

  © Nanóuk Kira

 View On WordPress

[alangleeson]

Corey Fuller and Stephan Mathieu live at Fluister

[lflip]

Corey Fuller and Stephan Mathieu live at Fluister

[sterrenvanger]

Maar dan als de lichten uitgaan hoor ik weer gefluister. Je stem is hier nooit weggegaan. Ik hoor nog steeds gefluister.

Fluister, Yes-R feat. Ruby Prophet

[evanescentenigmas]

fluister

woorden zo sterk de harde herfstbladeren knarsen door je teksten fluister herhalend

een ochtend zon zucht te donker om te denken ik zie je gedachtes helder en puur de geur van je warme huid