#forced socialization

[vam01011001]

I wish people around me wouldn't have directly or indirectly pushed me to have friends when I was younger.

Most of my former "friends" were such because either our moms were friends (2 cases), because teachers pushed me to make a friend (1 case), or because I was too polite/nice with some girls and it made them think we were friends (3 cases).

All the other ones (about 5 former "friends"), I don't remember how I finished close to them.

They all finished either because they didn't want to be my friend anymore, because we just stopped seeing each other, or because I stopped the "friendship".

My 2 last "friends" were the ones the least close of being my friends, I would just use them to know what I missed at school and I would try to avoid them, but they would never get the hints I give them to leave me alone. They both had ADHD so it's possibly why they didn't get the social cues.

If you counted, yes I had about 11 "friendships" in the past (from my ≈ 3–14 years old), so I would say I have enough experience to be sure I don't want friends anymore.

Never had a guy friend tho (except if a "1 day friend" count), so maximum if I try having a "friend" again it would be with a guy.

[vam01011001]

Being friendless should be normalized, no matter what the age group. It's annoying how at every school I've been at, I had at least 1 year in which I got summoned by one of the staff isolation and friendlessness.

In elementary, when I was about 8, I didn't have anyone to play with anymore since my only friend had moved to another city. I quickly got used to it and genuinely appreciated being alone, sitting on a bench and calmly watching others like if I was watching a TV show. But the teachers finished by noticing how isolated I was and forced me to get a friend—technically I could have rejected the offer but I was too scared to say no at this age.

Then at my first year in middle school, this forced friend I ditched me and I went back to chilling alone on benches, drawing when I would get bored. Of course the staff had to get worried about it and sent me to the school psychologist (I won't explain the whole story but it finished badly).

And finally—in my first year of high school—my head teacher noticed how solitary I was and got me summoned by what is called the "CPE" in France (slightly under the role of principal). I had to explain how I'm not bullied nor depressed and I was fine alone.

I understand when they see a kid isolated from everyone they might think they're depressed or bullied but it's really annoying when it's not the case.

[spontaneousdemonicscreeching]

There are people (relatives)

In my house (they were invited)

One of them hugged me (aunt, means well)

So now I am hiding (and complaining here)

[is-today-tomorrow-in-nz]

I need to rant:

When I'm able give 120% by working from home, why the hell are you making me commute 3.5 hours everyday.

No. I don't want to socialize with the team.

No. I don't want to get to know my managers.

No. I don't want to be friends with anyone from my office. They're my colleagues and I'd like to keep it that way.

No. I do not work better in an office setup. If anything the constant noise and movements distracts me to no end and grates on my nerves.

So don't pretend like this is for my benefit when you force me into a situation that I have no say in. You just can't stand the fact that employees have some flexibility by working from home. You need micromanage us and our time. Fuck you all!

[miserye]

I’m gonna go cry brb on Monday 😭😭😭😭

[realisticseitanist]

Welcome To Realism At Its Finest

Welcome to the Realistic Veg, I’m your host - one exhausted, burnt out mother, who is allergic to everything and a spoonie from hell. Name is M. I’m a 28 year old goth, I make 2000s vine jokes, and nothing is instagram worthy.

Purpose of this is to talk. I have issues socializing, like most people. I haven’t attempted to make friends in 5 years. I’m supposed to attempt to put myself out there, and from what I’m told I’m a pretty bomb cook. So I hope you chill, dig in and come along for the ride. Bare with me here, I’m utterly awkward and even being on this computer is making me anxious as fuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkkk.

I make simple food, comfort foods, easy foods. I like to be realistic like that, I don’t have time with two kids under 5 to live in my kitchen preparing faux Foie Gras. Shit, some days I can barely put peanut butter on bread. So on the days I can get down with the cookin, I open invite ya’ll to judge, comment, shame, and all that crap that you wish. 

I will probably put alot of examples of what I eat during the day or the week, that seems fucking fantastic and interesting. 

FYI I’m a Plant based peep, not a true vegan (maybe I’ll explain why one day) 

[wordrummager]

“Tempest in a teaspoon”

Such an exclusive club in this small city between fields

heavy door opening - with no squeak - to a seemingly endless line of wood trim braided and polished and etched with animals enduring the hunt in a non-bloody civilized doily way

heavy carpet smelling of money and wine with fresh flowers in a vase taller than a yardstick

such a lovely tray of desserts and I am ultra-poised right up until I tip my plate and a raspberry makes its getaway (cue the sophisticates’ snickering) but it’s ok, I laugh at myself often too

I don’t belong here, my brain screams as I politely nod and school my face to a mill-pond calm listening to talk of Trump and the Pope and barbecue ribs

while they reminisce about people I don’t know, I imagine I’m at the riverbank near the almost forgotten bridge (I’m in love with its rust) about to sail for Candyland to find a recipe for the dessert I just ate that made me remember being six at a tea party with bunnies and bears - you know, before I started thinking before speaking which takes a lot out of me

so I stare into the teaspoon and see the room reflected in its silly glory, my head forming the smile on edge.

[jilllovesmike]

So tomorrow is the first of two days of team meetings, professional development, and team building time for work. I NEVER look forward to this time. I just do my best to survive it. I will be surrounded by my new team. A group of people that are extremely immature and honestly... not the sharpest tools in the shed. I have heard them all say on more than one occasion, "that's not in my job description." I will have to pretend. Break out my fake smile. I have to do this for 12 hours each day! Any prayers or good thoughts sent my way is appreciated.