#forgetting him

[maudeline-moon]

I think I’m slowly forgetting him but my stupid dumb heart doesn’t want me to.

[abovetheair]

[mrsz-confidences]

My biggest mistake was always putting you before me. Trust me, this was the last time.

This moment you know it's over...

[hit-the-dirt-and-get-back-on]

I think...

I just really need to be alone to forget about him right now. I loved him so much but I'm just not going to take him back anymore. I had plans for us and he flushed them down the drain. So yeah... I'm going to be alone for a not.

[moonlight-star01]

Hear me out. An alternate universe where you can forget any amount of time but you forget everything from that span of time.

She stepped into the clinic with a the dedication to get her first erase. She was going to go small and forget the last week. As the cold fall air pushes her into the warm waiting room. Without looking past the wall separating the adjoining room she approached the receptionist. The sweet blond young woman could tell that she was nervous and tried to calm her fears. After being told she would have to wait a while, she takes a deep breath and walks to the waiting room. Not expecting to see anyone much less someone who she knew well on the other side.

After a few moments of awkward silence she finally spoke. Asking how his day way was and trying to avoid the obvious question. They talked about the Bible study they went to the night before and their classes. After finding themselves in a warm and flowing conversation the inevitable came up. "Do you want to talk about why your here before you loose the memory completely" He said. He had heard that it helps with losing the memory for good. They both realized that they were both doing this for the first time. She took a deep breath and remembered that he wouldn’t remember this after his appointment.

She started with what she would miss from the past week that she was planning on erasing. She had caught her biggest toss since joining color guard, she had gotten and A on an exam from a professor who never gives above a B, She had ended the season of color guard and had a wonderful senior night at a football game that they had won AND said goodbye to the seniors who had taught her everything she knew about guard. Realizing it was his turn he said He was going to forget the past week as well.

He said that he would miss winning the senior game and seeing his best friends play their last. He would miss his 21st birthday, and the time that he got to spend with his dad. Now they knew that the next thing for them to do was to admit the reason why they were erasing their memory. She looked into his piercing blue eyes and long brown hair and told him the truth. “I’m here because of you. I’m here to forget that you checked me out on Monday, I’m here to forget how hard it was for me to text you on your birthday, and mostly I’m here to forget how after hugging your dad and our pastors wife you came directly for a hug from me. I want to forget you and I getting pictures together and how in Sunday school your friends saying who don’t you have a crush on.” After she let it all fall to the floor from their weight. She regained her composure and finished. “I had finally gotten halfway over you. I had made progress to getting over you and because that I have been in a tailspin and want to forget it.”

His blue eyes looked into her and she saw a mixture of pain and what she would later realize was hope. He said “I had convinced myself that I had waited to long. You had told me you liked me over 2 months ago and I just knew that you wouldn’t feel that way still. But when I saw you Monday I saw you and thought oh crap she’s beautiful, when you texted me I had to try and act normal but the grin on my face had the guys making fun of me, on Saturday I thought it might seem normal if I hugged you and it made me feel as though for a moment that everything was perfect. In Sunday school you looked so perfect that the guys were calling me out for staring at you.”  

They took a moment to soak in what they had said. They realized that they didn’t have to do this. They both had feelings for each other and were here to forget a week because of those feelings. He moves across the waiting room to sit beside her so they can talk just between themselves. He looks at her and asks her to walk out of the clinic with him and to remember everything and to go on a date with him. The thing that she has wanted for so long is finally coming true . She couldn’t believe he actually felt the same and he was finally telling her. Then the nurse comes in and calls her name to go back. He stands up and heads for the other door and holds it open for her and looks at her with pleading eyes.

She looked at him with a body full of hope and knowing that everything she wanted were within her grasp, and walked through the door. With the nurse by her side she walked away. She turned back to see his world shatter as she says "I'm sorry."

[enthrallingmelanin17]

Us

Poetry - I have other pieces on [email protected]

This one is just very personal. It’s so weird to imagine how in love we once were, how often we talked, how often I texted and you texted. It’s so weird to picture you saying I love you and me feeling that this love is so real. It’s weird to think about the first time we kissed and it meant something. That first movie kiss that left me wanting more but secretly desiring nothing more. I picture us everyday since 2015 January. Messaging, texting, calling, leaving voice messages. Then I picture us Dec 2015- our beach trip, the drinks, the people, the weather, your scent, laughter, your hands, our bed. I picture that night 31 of Dec into the new year. All the time. It’s weird to imagine that now almost an entire two years later, I feel nothing but a longing for those moments. But the present you is not the same. The more I read those messages, the more I see a different you. A different me, a different us. I don’t think we stopped loving, I think we outgrew love. And now I can say with slight confidence, what I miss is not you but what I remember us being.

[lovella-snow-blog]

Thinking of Him

I still think of him everyday but I don’t think I still love with him. Last time I saw him I managed to ignore him. He unfollowed me from social media but it only hurt for a second.

[i-loved-her-fiercely]

"When you say you won’t forget me I can tell you that’s not true Cause every day since you left me I’ve thought less and less of you And I’ve worn out all the reasons To keep on knocking at your door Could be the changing of the seasons But I don’t love you anymore"