#foster teens

[ex-foster]

I am lurking in some foster parent groups on Facebook and I came across this post where a foster parent was concerned that a teenager in her home has a cellphone and is telling "strangers" where she lives. The foster parent is spooked and is asking for validation and most of the comments are validating the concerned foster parent and making comments along the lines of "this is why I don't foster teens", "this is why I confiscate phones", etc.

And I'm just wondering if foster parents ever take a moment to actually empathize with foster kids and step into their shoes and at least TRY to see things from their perspective?

I remember being in foster care and getting screamed at by my foster mother when I was in a new placement because I immediately tried to contact my best friend to tell her what had happened. My previous foster home got shut down due to sexual abuse and then I was suddenly moved to a new place on the other side of the city - in a completely different school district. My life once again turned upside down and I needed my best friend desperately to ground me.

Foster parents are so threatened by the relationships we form and we are honestly treated as if we are criminals. It is so isolating what the system does to us.

[prolifeproliberty]

Looking for a way to help foster kids?

I always recommend finding local charities first, but I came across this group that seems to network with a lot of local foster care charities, and from everything I can find seems to check out. It's called Together We Rise, and they have a lot of cool programs that support kids and teens in foster care.

For example, they do Sweet Cases, which are duffel bags for foster kids who otherwise are given a trash bag to pack their belongings.

They also have a clothing vault in California (where they're based) where kids can come in and pick out a whole new wardrobe with the help of a personal shopper.

They have a Rapid Response program that helps teens transitioning out of foster care with funding for college, housing, transportation, meals, etc.

And with many of their initiatives they have opportunities to make a service project out of it, where your group, church, etc. can help put together and decorate items for kids in foster care.

I'm at least going to sponsor a duffel bag duo (one kid bag and one teen bag), and I may also volunteer to help with a teen shopping spree.

[flyingflesheater]

so im trying to build up a little bit of a library for my foster teens so i’ll already have some books on hand when they come into care. we’re only taking queer teens, age 13 and up, and we want to have some affirming literature for them. Looking for any recommendations

[perfectly-modest]

I’ve been absent off of this platform for a long time. There were many different reasons for this.

1. Less Users: I feel like many people stopped using Tumblr in favor of different social media platforms.

2. Living Overseas: For a couple years I was living in South Korea which was an amazing experience but not one that gave me a ton of extra free time for social media.

3. Pandemic: Like many others, I’ve been worn down by the global events

4. Changing Professions: I left the profession that I love but was burnt out by for a desk job for the first time in a long while which took a big adjustment.

5. Faith Struggles: As is everything in life, somethings go through ebbs and flows. I’m still not in a super great place Islamically but I’ve gotten much more comfortable.

6. Motherhood: Yes, this step came at a weird and semi-planned time for me. I decided to become a single mother to foster children and by the grace of Allah this journey has been wonderfully tiring and rewarding.

So with all of that said, I do still want to be on some sort of social media. If you have any suggestions or questions, please reach out to me. Inbox and DMs are open.

[bookspark]

This is the last thing Alex said to me. It's been a week since I've been able to talk to @life-whatlife . I've marked out the embarrassing lines so if/when Alex comes back online I haven't embarrassed him completely. I've sent him a few messages, on tumblr and his phone, with no responses. I left a message for his GAL and tried to contact his new worker to no avail. I don't know what happened at court, and why that would mean he isn't allowed his phone. All I know is I read an article about all theses conversion camps in MS, AL, and FL... I'm worried. I started his blanket anyway, because someday I'm giving it to him. If you're a praying person, please keep Alex in your thoughts?

[thebroccoligoblin]

One of my teens is living with his older brother and brother’s gf (mid twenties) and although I’m immensely grateful he and his sister are out of foster care………it’s still not ideal. And that’s just a reality I have to live with for most of my kids. But damn it’s a 3 bedroom apartment with 6 ppl and 4 animals.

They recently got a cat to add to their 3 dogs and the cat is in a dog crate??? Like….okay I’ve seen kittens kept in a dog crate for short periods of time or at night time all snuggled in a blankie but…a full grown cat……with no toys or blankets…….being barked at and harassed by 1:3 dogs? Nah. On top of that the cat is being fed dog food. On top of that my kid smells like weed every time I pick him up and he doesn’t even smoke. So like. Yeah this is better and more stable than a group home could ever be but it sure as shit ain’t showing him normalcy and healthy family dynamics.

I know in his heart he felt uneasy about how the animals are being kept (he calls me when he has questions about what do in certain situations with them 🫶🏽 cutie) and I’m definitely bringing flea medicine and cat food over to him tmro.

It’s an undeniable privilege and honor to know and love my kids but it can bring me to a dark place knowing I’m only seeing a fraction of what they’re exposed to.

All I can do is love them and empathize. (Side note he told me he loved me like 3 or 4x before we hung up tonight and he just deserves the whole entire world)

[fosteringhopeok]

Last night and tonight I got to read HP to the kiddo. Pictured here is the copy my mama read to me, and the illustrated edition I’m reading to him. I always dreamed of reading this book to my kids, but kinda gave up on it when we decided to foster mostly teens. My heart is full and we are so blessed 😍🙏

[fosteringhopeok]

When I am in my 50s and 60s I sincerely hope that I am not as disconnected from the youth as baby boomers are from millennials. I can’t stand how some of them feel like they are always right and have no sympathy or understanding for youth today. How do they not remember the fear and anxiety that being a teenager brings? How can they not remember the anger and depression that you suffer from in such a time of your life?

Being a teenager sucked. Of course you’re angry and impulsive. Of course you need motivation and feel like you have no hope. Science shows that teenagers are physically incapable of thinking through their actions and thinking about consequences. Of course they’re going to need more motivation than “oh when you’re grown this will pay off”. That’s never going to work for 14-year-old. You have to give them something to work towards that’s quite a bit closer than “when you’re grown-up”.