Making Tavaria into Durge has saved my OC
Creatively, the chain of events branching from "I am going to reboot my goody two shoes chaotic good bard Tavaria as the Dark Urge" has, been one of the best and most frustrating things to happen to me.
Bad because it's forced me to confront my own insecurities as an author and personal hangups (self-doubt of ideas, cultural baggage about writing smut, violence and gore - and admitting that I like smut and fantasy horror) and all that is hard. Also bad because it's meant multiple edits (and a rework to the end of Act 3 and start of Act 4) to the Gale/Lia fic due to Tavaria's involvement and I hate editing (as anyone who's ever read my writing knows).
Great because creatively a fountain that had become blocked suddenly sprung to life. Great because a character that was honestly kind of stale and one-note suddenly gained an entirely new dimension. A character who is chaotic evil but part of her desperately wants to be good, who became evil for a good reason (sort of) - that has SO much more depth than just plucky young tavaria here for a good time with a sad past.
Great because again, pushing back against all that hyper-engrained cultural crapola is good when it's caused you to have problems in life trying to please people you don't even like.
Great because now it gives my OC twice as many people to have smooched (or straight up fucked), and that's great. It's fantastic that Tavaria now has FAR more emotional stake in Lia's own fight in that story. It was bad when Shar was doing that to her best friend and sister-in-law, but now Shar was trying to do to Lia what Bhaal did to her. NOPE. FUCK THAT.
And tying all the above together, great because in writing the original pre-edits of the Lia/Gale fic AND the OG pre-reboot Tavaria, I always felt a sudden urge to make my stories too light. Too Disney. Too "all our problems are resolved in 22 minutes until the next disaster next week!"
Our protagonist was a prolific murderer. Who skinned the previous head of Bhaal's cult, a dragonborn man many of you might recognize, alive and turned him into a leather overcoat because she could. Who played a dead dwarf's ribs like a musical instrument because she could. Who, as Bhaal's chosen, fucked Bane's chosen and became pregnant with his child. Who, even after her brains were scrambled was so enraged at Kagha that after exposing her work with the Shadow Druids promptly caved Kagha's skull in. Who cared about Gortash enough to defy her father, but who cares about Rolan enough to defy reality and the multi-verse itself. And who clearly wants a family, even though it's against everything she was led to believe, and is something that was quite possibly taken away from her in Orin's cruel, spiteful attack. None of this existed before, and it's turned a flat one-note character (albeit one whose one note was 'loves to smooch Rolan' which is GREAT) into an actual living breathing character with dreams and fears and motivations
This whole thing probably won't be for everyone, and that's fine. And since I'm talking about my OC most people will scroll on by. But yeah, making Tavaria the Dark Urge is the best choice I have ever made in any writing I have ever put to type or print.
Now go get your grumpy wizard back, and save the world.
