Randomly remembered that scene in Fourth Wing— the chair scene. And specifically the part where Xaden tells Vi to get away from him because he wants this moment to be about her and he wants to prove that he can pleasure her without needing anything in return and—
When I read that the first time it was like the middle of the night and I had to get up to like hideous cry in a different room so I didn’t wake Mr Hubs up.
It was like that time I read Rowan biting Aelin and it was so hot I almost threw up (I actually kinda wish I was kidding)
Oh my… that should have probably stayed an inside thought, huh? Just gonna—
Okay I found a few ch from my lost fic (Enemies With Benefits) and I’m trying to decide whether to start over fresh or continue where I left off (just raw dog it) OR, repost what I found and continue there (without the rest that is lost) so
POLL TIME
What should I do about my lost fic?
Start Fresh— new plot based off old plot (Actual Plot!!)
Just continue where you left off— keep em guessing
Repost found ch and Then continue— that way we have Some idea what’s going on
Voting ended onJul 14
No playful answer cause y’all play too much 🫵🏽 (still love you though pookie ookie)
CW: problems with infertility (extensive talk of it), pregnancy talk, hurt-comfort, very angsty, some smut (with feelings)
Summary: You’ve been mated to Garrick for several years now, and despite going into heat regularly, you have not been able to get pregnant. This time around, you go through the motions of nesting against your will— unable to fight the instincts that tell you how much you need your mate. Garrick comforts you and patiently loves you through your heat.
A/N: I don’t know man I just have so many feelings. Also the POVs switch at random— as usual. Loosely based on the idea from this post— thanks for reading baby xx (finally finished this oh my god)
X
You feel your lip wobble, your eyes blinking furiously to stop the tears stinging the corners of your eyes, as you readjust the blankets and sheets that make up your nest. You fuss and fluff pillows, search the room for more of Garrick’s discarded clothing, hang some fairy lights— anything and everything that your instincts lead you to do. In the end, you step back and see that your nest looks good. Your wolf purrs in your chest, and you instinctively tug on the bond.
You have tried to fight the desires, you have tried to control your urges, but nothing has worked. In the end your heat always comes, your body begs and hungers for your mate, he satisfies you in every single way— everything goes as nature intended. And yet, you remain the only mated female with no pups.
The quiet of your home is loud.
Garrick does everything he can, gives you everything you could ever want. You know it hurts him that he has not given you a pup— not just because he sees how much it hurts you, but also because it is a shameful thing for a male to have a mate and no pups. All in all, he has never made you feel bad or lesser for it. And while you are grateful for that fact, it does nothing to lessen the pain you feel every time you come to realize that your womb remains empty.
A drop of sweat slides down from your temple, making it as far as the edge of your jaw before a soft tongue swipes it away. You close your eyes, sighing softly, and relax into Garrick’s embrace as he wraps his arms around you from behind. His wolf rumbles in his chest and you feel the vibrations run softly through your body, further relaxing you.
“Your nest looks great, sweetheart,” he murmurs into your ear before pressing a kiss to your fevered skin.
You huff softly, “You’d say that even if it was bad.”
“I’m going to be honest— I have no idea what a good or bad nest looks like. I’m more into what happens in the nest.” He nips at your earlobe and you whimper softly.
His hands skim along your sides tugging gently on the hem of your shirt and you raise your arms over your head, your back still pressed against his chest, as he tugs it up and off. His fingers graze over your fevered skin and you feel a trail of fire follow his movements as his hands skim back down your now bare body.
You turn in his arms and tug his face towards yours, kissing him hungrily as one hand goes to the button of his jeans and the other reaches in to wrap tightly around him, pulling a sharp hiss from his lips. You bite down on his lip and he growls, hardening almost instantly as you squeeze him just the way he likes.
“Slow down, baby.” His voice is gravelly and the sound has a wave of heat running down from your head to your toes, which now curl into the carpet.
You can’t fight nature. You can’t stop your body from wanting— no, needing your mate. All you can do is sate this unbearable hunger, beg him to fill you as quickly and as many times as he can, and internally beg that whatever is broken inside of you fully stops working one day so that you don’t have to ever go through with this again. A part of your heart shatters at the thought that you can not enjoy your heat anymore— this time that should be full of love and soft intimacy and desire for your mate has become nothing but a reminder of your biggest flaw.
His tongue licks up the side of your neck, and you sigh, undoing the zipper of his pants and pushing them down his thighs. He nips at your skin and you wrap your hand tightly around him again, making him hiss softly. You press against him, standing on tiptoes to line him with your entrance and the blunt head of his cock slips into you so easily it pulls a soft moan from your lips and a low groan from his.
His hands come to the backs of your knees and he lifts you off the floor, teeth scraping his bite scar gently— the one he so lovingly gave you on the curve where your neck meets your shoulder— as he leans forward to place you on the bed and slips fully inside you in one single movement. You whimper, nails dragging down his back, as your hips instinctively roll upwards to meet his languid thrusts.
Nature does the rest as your body welcomes him again and again; every thrust like coming home. He whispers into your ear— sweet things, filthy things, incoherent things, soft things cut off by his low, desperate groans. He cradles you in his arms and you think briefly that maybe he could hold all of your pieces together this way. He noses his bite, and you feel him pull your scent deep into his lungs. You wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist— a full body hug. His body curves around you, and you are a tangle of limbs and murmured praise and soft, wet sounds.
Your heart beats once, twice, and a warmth you haven’t felt in a long time starts low in your stomach and radiates out to the top of your head, the tips of your fingers, and to your toes. You grasp at the feeling, holding on with all your might, but as one final thrust has Garrick burying himself deep inside you, his mouth pressing open mouthed kisses along your jaw, you have the sinking feeling that this time will be no different. You feel so utterly empty, even as you feel his knot swell inside you.
When his mouth finds yours in the dark, you kiss him back with a hunger that feels fake, even though it’s not. You close your eyes against the tears you can already feel coming, and you tighten your arms and legs around him. And when that first wave of exhaustion hits, you let the darkness swallow you whole.
X
Garrick has been inside you more times than he can count— the feeling of your warmth wrapped around him is as familiar to him as his own breathing. So as you sleep soundly in his arms, the frown of your brows finally smoothed out in rest, he wonders where it all went wrong.
He doesn’t think you’ve realized it, but he has always been able to tell— well, feel— where your mind is at. He atributes it to the bond that has been pulsing from your chest to his from the moment he first laid eyes on you. He knows your heat is always a hard time for you, through the haze of your mutual need and desire for each other he has always felt the twinge of your pain in his chest through the bond.
He's never mentioned it to you, but a few weeks back, he'd gone to see the pack healer— the crone had laughed herself hoarse at the dark red flush that had colored his cheeks when he struggled to get the words out. Confessing that he had failed again and again to get his mate pregnant to another person had been quite a humbling experience, especially as a wolf male. But he was not above humiliating himself if it meant finding a way to help you. In the end he was given a tea that tasted horrible and some stale cookies before he was sent on his way.
It seems the tea did not help, and nothing much has changed. He was hoping things would be different, that you would somehow feel something— but you seemed almost detached the entire time. He pushes a strand of hair behind your ear, and you murmur something in your sleep, shifting in his arms. Your bare skin is pleasantly warm against his, and he takes a deep breath, your scent filling his lungs. You shift again, pressing your legs together, and as the scent of your arousal reaches his nose, he decides to fight his instincts.
X
You blink slowly, the warmth of Garrick’s body curled around yours making you want to turn your face to his chest and sleep there forever. Your core aches, and you press your legs together, seeking pressure. Garrick must feel you’ve woken up because he leans down to nose at your neck and press soft kisses into your skin. His touch ignites you and a moan is dragged from your lips when you feel his tongue against your fevered skin.
You arch against him, shivering at the feel of his muscled chest against your hard, oversensitive nipples. You spread your legs, inviting him in, asking him to stop the ache still pulsing there— but his hand goes to your hip and he pulls you tightly against him. Your hand skims down his chest and over his stomach but he catches your wrist before you can go lower.
“Wait,” his voice is strained, and you tilt your head up to look at him.
“Garrick,” you breathe, already feeling your heat come back in waves that get stronger and stronger.
He closes his eyes tightly, his hold on your wrist not hard enough to hurt, but not budging either. “I— we need to,” he lets out a low hiss as you lean in closer to lick a drop of sweat from one of his pecs. “Baby, we need to…” he pulls back, lifting himself on one elbow to look down at you. “we need to talk about this.”
The words fall on the mattress between you with an almost audible clang. You know what he is talking about— in a cruel twist of fate, as soon as the mate bond snapped into place between the two of you, it was as if he could peer into your very soul. No more secrets, no more lies, no more hiding. Being so bare to someone that you love with every single cell in your body should not be so painful— but it is. It always has been. You tear your eyes from his and look away as you sit up fully. He sits up too, scooting closer so your legs touch and arms.
“Talk to me, ___.” He begs and your heart breaks at the ever so slight waver in his voice.
You shake your head, the tears now falling freely. “W-we can’t talk this problem away, Garrick.” Your voice breaks and your hands come up to cover your face.
He pulls you onto his lap and, despite the gaping hole in your chest, you melt into his embrace. He pulls your hands away from your face and looks into your eyes with a gentleness that completely disarms you.
“We can try,” he whispers.
“No.” You shake your head. “Garrick. We can’t talk through this. You can’t love me out of infertility, you cannot patiently listen the pain awa—” You cut yourself off burying your face in his chest.
He holds you for a long while, wrapping his arms around you tighter as your shoulders begin to shake with the force of your sobs. You have never let yourself cry over this before, never let the feelings flow this freely. And you especially never let him see it. No, you’d never wanted him to see the pain you carried— you’d never wanted it to be a pain he’d carry as well. But here in your nest, with his arms wrapped tightly around you, you somehow feel safe enough to finally let go.
After the shaking stops and you feel completely empty of tears, you pull back to look into his face. Tears spill over and down his cheeks as he quietly watches you. You feel your eyes sting again somehow and reach up to wipe his face with gentle fingers.
“I never wanted to hurt you, Garrick. You are the only person in this world it would break me to hurt. I—” You slam your eyes shut and look down at your hands as they rest on his chest. “I would understand if you want to—”
His hand comes up to tilt your face back towards his as his lips crash into yours. He kisses you fiercely, hands finding your hips as he guides you to turn so you straddle his lap. His cock is hard as it presses up against you, but he shifts you so you rest on his thighs instead. He breaks away from the kiss, breaths coming in hard, and stares into your eyes for several seconds before he speaks.
“Never,” his voice is a low growl, “think about that again, ___. Never finish that sentence, never think about it. Never.”
Your lip wobbles and you try to look away again but he catches your chin with strong, but gentle fingers. “Listen to me, ___. I would rather live my entire life without a single pup. I would rather be the laughingstock of this pack. I would rather die, than have a different mate. I love you, and not despite the fact that we have no pups— that has nothing to do with my feelings. You are my heart, ___. You are my life, my soul, my reason, my—”
You press your lips to his, unable to take one more word. You lick into his mouth, slow, still hungry, still desperate, but different. When his fingers flex, digging into the soft flesh of your hips, you groan into his mouth, rolling your hips against his. His hands skim down to grip your ass, and he lifts you up, lining himself with your entrance and pulling you down in one swift movement. You gasp into his mouth, biting down on his lip as you grind down onto him, hard. His hands grip you hard, holding you in place. You pull back to find him gritting his teeth, his body shaking with the effort it takes to restrain himself.
“We didn’t finish—”
“Shhh,” you soothe, attempting to roll your hips, and achieving the slightest movement. Your hands come down to cover his and you gently pull at them. He loosens his grip, almost against his will, and you move against him languidly. “We can finish this,” you whimper as his thumb finds your clit and circles it slowly. “L-later.” You close your eyes and throw your head back, rising onto your knees and sinking back down so slowly it makes you growl with impatience. But you keep your pace slow, finding that the feeling is different all of a sudden. The feel of him inside you, filling you over and over has you wanting to rip him open and climb inside him.
Your claws make an appearance, and you’re sure your fangs do too, and you feel yourself clench around him.
“Garrick, I—” You cut yourself off, biting down on his shoulder to quell the sudden rush you feel.
“I know, baby,” His hands come to rest on your hips again and he guides your movements again, faster, faster, faster. You cry out his name, falling limp onto him and he keeps his hold on your hips, thrusting up into you. You whimper, writhing against him as you murmur soft things into his skin. “I know baby, I’m,” he murmurs soft things too, incoherent words of praise and comfort and promises, and prayers.
When his release finds him, he pulls you tightly against him, and it puts just the right amount pressure on your oversensitive clit. You come again, claws digging into his back as you sink your teeth into his shoulder.
He turns you so you lay on your back, teeth still digging into his flesh, and he groans low as he sinks back into you.
“L-later,” he moans into your ear as he pulls his hips back and thrusts back into you.
Maybe things aren’t fixed, maybe this is still not the time, and maybe it never will be. But when you finally release his shoulder, his warm blood dripping down your chin, you think to yourself maybe you’ll be okay. And when Garrick begs you to look at him as he’s about to come, you look into his eyes and you know for sure.
Roommate AU: Random Scene 004– You’re watching the show and Xaden is watching you (x Reader) [F]
X
You laugh, loud, and a warmth he can’t explain fills Xaden’s chest. He watches you, the way your eyes sparkle, the faint smile that stays on your lips as the show continues. The way your hair floats around you like a messy cloud.
When he first met you, all polished and well dressed, he thought ‘Oh she’s going to be high maintenance.’ But once he actually got to know you, he had the surprise of his life to find out that at home you are soft and relaxed and mostly always in pajamas.
He particularly enjoys the weekends when you stay home, no dates or outings with your friends planned— like today. He always sits with you while you watch your shows, pretending he is more interested in something on his phone. But really, there is something about you that pulls him in. He just can’t explain it.
He scrolls on his phone, trying to keep up the pretense of uninterested roommate, but out of the corner of his eye he sees you reach up to push a strand of hair behind your ear, offering an unobstructed view of your face. You blink and your long lashes fan over your cheekbones, your lips form and ‘o’ and then you smile, so focused on the show you don’t see the way his eyes soften when he looks at you.
He moves his thumb absently, pretend scrolling still, and accidentally clicks on a video. Music suddenly blasts from his phone and he fumbles to turn it off, somehow making it louder and starting the video over.
“Damn it,” he mutters, finally getting it to stop.
He looks up to find you looking at him, a curious look on your face. Embarrassed, he apologizes quickly and stands to leave.
“You’re leaving?” You say over your shoulder as he walks around the couch to head to his room.
“Yeah sorry, I have something to do for work that I almost forgot about. It’s due tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow is Saturday.” You smile softly at him, and he feels less stupid for saying random shit when you smile like that.
“I mean Monday.” He starts walking towards his room again, and as he passes behind you he reaches out to touch the ends of your hair with the very tips of his fingers. “Goodnight, ___,” he murmurs
Later, in his room, he will shake his head and wonder what the hell is wrong with him.
