#freaky tim drake

[the-jason-todd-impreganator]

Please give me somemore freaky bernard and trans tim? Idk it just scratches an itch in my brain.

*Flips sunglasses off* Freaky~ Bernard and Trans!Tim? My specialty.

*Flips sunglasses back on, because light hurts my eyes*

My only hope in life is that I somehow make the fanon interpretation of Bernard out to be an absolute freak...

—

Tim, sitting atop the bathroom counter as Bernard removes a bullet from his thigh: Sorry, I know this isn't an ideal couple activity.

Bernard: What? Y'know I love putting things in the holes in your body.

Tim:

—

Tim, lying in a fetal position on the bathroom floor:

Bernard: Uh... Are... Are you okay?

Tim: Get me pregnant and cure me of my humanly ailments.

Bernard, unbuttoning his shirt: Okay.

Tim: I MEANT I'M ON MY PERIOD! I was being dramatic!

Bernard, slowly buttoning his shirt back up:

Tim:

Bernard: I'll get you chocolate and a heat pack.

Tim: Thank you.

—

Tim: You made homemade chocolate, bought strawberries, and made me coffee... Why?

Bernard: Studies have shown that all three can be like edible aphrodisiacs or improve your sex life.

Tim:

Tim: You made food horny?

Bernard: I want to make you horny!

Tim, playfully: Before marriage! For shame, Mr. Dowd.

Bernard: Your fault for showing such pretty ankles.

Tim, sticking his foot in Bernard's face: New fetish found!?

Bernard, laughing: No, no, no!

Tim: Are you calling my feet unattractive!? My heart is forever broken, you've ruined me, Bernard Dowd.

Bernard: I'll make it better and ruin you at the same time.

Tim: How's that?

Bernard: With rope and you singing like the pretty bird you ar—

Damian, kicking open their door:

Bernard:

Tim:

Damian, holding a screeching stray cat while he is covered in claw marks, bleeding in several areas: Did I interrupt something?

—

Tim, glaring at the mirror:

Bernard: You hallucinating again, love dove?

Tim: My binder is not binder-ing today.

Bernard: . . ? Uh, you look pretty flat to me.

Tim: No, no, it's not that, it's just... None of my binders are binder-ing.

Bernard:

Bernard: We can go binder shopping if you'd like?

Tim: Yeah, I'd like that.

—

Tim, slipping inside covered in blood:

Bernard: OH MY GODS!? Tim are you okay!? Why aren't you at the med bay!?

Tim: Oh, no! No! This isn't my blood! Jason shot a guy in a major artery and I happened to be the closest.

Bernard: So, it's not your blood?

Tim: Nope.

Bernard: So, like, appropriate time to say you look hot as hell?

Tim: Not an appropriate time, at all, I'm covered in a strangers blood. But, I appreciate the compliment.

—

Barbara: So, Tim, care to explain why you spent three hundred and sixty two dollars yesterday on pregnancy tests?

Tim: Oh, yeah, my period was a day late.

Barbara: So, it was more logical of a conclusion that you were pregnant than you were simply stressed?

Tim: Have you seen Bernard's search history?

Barbara: . . . I am buying you condoms for your wedding gift.

—

Tim, waking up in the med bay: Ugh, what happened?

Bruce: You were stabbed, luckily it was the area your spleen is supposed to be in, so no organs were injured.

Tim: Good.

Dick: But we are concerned as to why you have so many bruises on your neck!?

Jason: Hand shaped.

Tim:

Tim: Trust me when I say, none of you want answers to that.

Damian: Admit it, Dowd is harming you! We've already taken fingerprint samples!

Tim:

Tim: How do I explain this?

Jason: Say the word, I'll put a hole between his eyes.

Dick: I've killed before and I'll kill again.

Bruce: Excuse me?

Dick: Nothing.

Duke, walking in: I called my friends, we're gonna go f-#% Bernard up in thirty. Tim you wanna join?

Tim: NO!—

Duke: It's okay, I got you, it's hard.

Damian: We are here for you, Drake.

Tim: Damian. Cover your ears for a second.

Damian: Why?

Tim: Because you're ten.

Damian: I am fourteen!?

Tim: Ears!

Damian, grumbling as he covers his ears:

Tim: Bernard and I have rough, kinky sex.

Duke:

Dick:

Bruce:

Jason

Tim: This will serve you all well as a reminder to never look deeper into me or my relationship.

Stephanie, from the batcomputer: WHERE WAS THIS ATTITUDE WHEN WE DATED?! Vanilla ahh mother—

Bruce: I do not need anymore information.

Dick: I don't know if I wanna kill him the same amount or more now..?

Duke: This family is a prison.

Jason, walking out: I'm leaving for the next two weeks, nobody look for me.

—

Tim: I just wanna be a guy in the long hair and dress way, y'know?

Bernard: I do.

—

Tim, sitting in the dark beside Bernard, who's asleep, watching him:

Bernard, slowly opening his eyes: . . . WHAT THE F— Tim, why the hell are you awake!? It's... *looking over*... One in the morning!

Tim: Wanna test how effective my new birth control is?

Bernard:

Bernard: Hell yeah.

—

Tim, with one of those stupid chompy fish heads on a stick he got from the aquarium, battling with Bernard's:

Bernard, with his own stupid chompy shark head on a stick he also got from the aquarium, trying to chomp Tim's:

Tim: Wanna make them kiss?

Bernard: You're a genius!

—

Bruce, walking in: Tim, have you. . .

Tim, shirtless beneath Bernard:

Bernard, who has given Tim a hickey for every state if the United States and was working on the 51st:

Bruce, processing, then walking away: I've done worse. Use protection unless you want a mistake!

Tim: A baby or an STD!?

Bruce, closing the door: Both!

—

Bruce, scolding Dick and Jason: Why can't you boys just be more like Tim!?

Jason: An apathetic super villain in the making who wears the death shroud of others?

Dick: Wanted in three states and five countries?

Tim, walking into the cave in a "Daddy's Little Superhero" crop top— he got it from Harley— and a thermos full of monster energy, clicking on his phone contact that reads "Daddy" before putting it to his ear, walking past the three: Hey, Bernard!

Jason:

Dick:

Bruce:

—

Bernard, high off pain meds:

Tim, holding his hand: How're you feeling, Bern?

Bernard: . . . Who are you?

Tim: I'm your boyfriend.

Bernard, slowly looking him up and down: Damn.

Jason, kicking the door open: I was dragged here by Dickface, why?

Tim: Bernard was mugged on his way home from college and got stabbed, for your information.

Dick: How's he doing?

Bernard: I have a hot boyfriend.

Jason: We should check him for a concussion.

Dick: Jason, be nice! He nearly died.

Jason: I DID die.

Bernard, slowly reaching up to cup Tim's cheek: Hi.

Tim: Hi.

Bernard, whispering loudly: You look breedable.

Dick:

Jason: They have him on the good s&#$, huh?

Tim: Oh, no, this is how he usually... Actually, yeah, sure, it's the drugs.

—

Tim: Hey, Ber?

Bernard: Yeah?

Tim: You said before that I was your gay awakening, when did you know?

Bernard: . . . Probably when you took charge the day of the shooting, when Darla was dying. Made me realize a lot about myself, but especially the fact I love you.

Tim: Aw, sweet... Now the truth?

Bernard: The day we met and I realized how absolutely jacked you were. But, I did fall in love with you the day of the shooting, before that you were just jerk off material.

Tim, sarcastically: How romantic.

Bernard: I'll buy you more zesti..?

Tim, playfully: My Father warned me about men like you.

Bernard: Billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne?

Tim: . . . Good point.

—

Tim: Bernard Dowd! Did you go online and, to the official Bruce Wayne account, operated by Bruce Wayne! And publically, declare you were, and I quote, "F#-%$ing your son and giving him a better Daddy than you ever were"!?

Bernard, fixing himself a drink: What did you want me to do after finding out about what he did to your sixteenth birthday party?

Tim: So far Wally West, Roy Harper, and somehow Koriand'r, have all congratulated you and invited you to their club? Steph added to it saying she's done the same to both his son and daughter.

Bernard: Has he responded yet?

Tim: Bear.

Bernard: Has he?

Tim: . . . He said he was gonna get your Mom pregnant and give her a son she'd actually be proud of.

Bernard, choking on his drink:

—

I hope this feeds you well :D

[timbernandmaybesokebirdflash]

Tw for freaky thanksgiving Timbern

Bernard’s helping with the Wayne family Thanksgiving making his the mashed potatoes and gravy. The apron tied at the back suddenly gets tightened more such firm and powerful hands. “Can’t wait to stuff some turkey” Tim whispers seductively in the blonde’s ear. “I’ll be in our bedroom. Let me know if you still want to taste some poultry.”

[the-jason-todd-impreganator]

is it too soon to ask for more freaky timbern 🥺

Your greed sickens me...

—

Tim: So, I'm uninjured and off patrol from the week because Bruce "is worried about my mental health" because it's "not healthy" to test how high I can throw myself off buildings when Dick is around to test if he'll catch me.

Bernard: That is concerning...

Tim: I have my grapple with me.

Bernard: Better. I want you naked and gagged in fifteen minutes. We're staying that way for the rest of the week.

Tim, already taking his shirt off: You're gonna be the reason I quit being a vigilante.

Bernard: Because of sex or the gag?

Tim: Yes.

—

Damian: Why is it that you two are so fond of leaving love bites on one another?

Bernard: They look good on Tim.

Tim: I need people to know that Bernard is mine.

—

Tim: . . .

Bernard, not even opening his eyes: It's two in the morning. Why are you awake?

Tim: I'm horny as fuck.

Bernard: I'm tired. Consent given. Somnophollia is hot. Goodnight.

—

Tim: What are you going as for Halloween??

Bernard: I was thinking I'd be a horse. You can be the cowboy. And ride me. All night long.

Tim: . . . I think your new anti depressant is making your hornier than normal.

Bernard, sighing: I know, I'm talking to my therapist tomorrow.

Tim: Good. Until then. I am a perfectly serviceable bottom.

—

Jason, announcing loudly as he walks into his apartment: IF YOU'RE FUCKING YOUR BOYFRIEND IN MY APARTMENT, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD, YOU'LL BE THE NEXT ROBIN TO DIE!

Tim, patching himself up while crouched on Jason's counter like a bird: Why does everyone assume I'm just constantly having sex??

Jason: Stephanie caught you giving boy Stephanie a blowjob on top of Wayne Tower.

Tim: It was his birthday.

Jason, pointing at him: Slut. I am slut shaming you. Whore whore homosexual whore.

Tim: I'm so glad I bled all over your bathtub.

—

Duke: Why does Tim "quit" being a vigilante so much??

Bruce: . . . Mental health.

Steph: He likes to have spontaneous sex vacations with Bernard.

Cassandra: He likes to spend Bernard's breaks having sex.

Jason: He can't balance being a vigilante and having marathon sex.

Barbara, fist bumping him: Skill issue.

Duke: . . . Forget I asked.

—

Bernard when Tim is fully dressed in a suit with his hair combed back: . . . We're gonna be late to that fancy charity event.

Tim: But the children —

Bernard: I will impregnate you with my children.

—

Bernard, when Tim is exhausted and twitching with caffeine withdrawals and hasn't slept in weeks and has been hunched over a laptop so long that he looks like a mangled corpse when he sits up straight: Thank every God on this planet that gave me this full course meal. I am a starving man. I have gone so long without water. I need to get drunk off of you.

Tim: I think Donald Trump is the fusion of a cabbage patch kid and a cursed furby.

Bernard: . . . After you get sleep.

—