#batfam shenanigans

[crystal-knightt]

Jason; so ,, i had a thought and-

Damian: careful, dont hurt yourself too much with that

Jason: HEY thats uncalled for

Tim: nah hes right, last time you had a thought, there were heads in a duffle bag

[crystal-knightt]

pets of wayne family

Bruce: Ace

Dick: Haley

Jason: Dog

Tim: Batman(human)

Damian: Titus ,Alfred(cat) , Batcow ,Goliath, Jerry,

Bruce: Ace is getting up in his age, hes not as playful as he used to be *SIGH*

Jason: considering he was a police dog (?) hes definitely lived longer than expected

Dick: i dont know what i would do without haley slobbering all over me every morning to wake me up for breakfast and-

Tim: i used to have a pet

Jason: really? didnt you say your parent-

Tim: Batman, oh how i miss you

Bruce: Tim… are you referring to me in a depressive state after Jasons death as a pet?

Dick: in past tense no less, hes saying his pet is dead

Tim: to be fair i had to make sure you didnt die or killed someone, had to feed you and make you go to sleep, practically all thats needed for a pet

Damian: theres something very wrong with everyone in this family

[crystal-knightt]

thought it would be funny if Tim was the tallest robin cause he grew quickly but stopped growing just as fast

dick: so now that damian has outgrown tim, its time to update the chart :D

jason: what chart?

dick: the “which robin is tallest /shortest at ‘this’ age” chart :D

steph: okay but not all of us where robin at age 8 and then age 16 , how is it gonna be fair?

dick: its gonna be an estimated guess , i had Alfred and Bruce help estimate what height some of you would be

Jason: okay , but why mention that Damian outgrew tim?

Dick: BEEcause , now we can add to the chart that tim is the shortest of us all at age 20 and he will stay the shortest since he stopped growing :D

jason: how does that make you feel tim

Tim: the truth hurts but the victory will be sweeter once you all learn where i am on the robin height scale

Dick: . . . anyways, heres the chart:

tallest

Tim

Steph

Duke

Dick

Damian

Jason

shortest

Tim: how does that make you feel jason :)

Jason: i will throw you down into the cave, dont think i wont

Steph: oh Hey im second tallest :0

[khoorviaen]

Batfamily & Justice league fanfic search request

Some sort of situation happens that has the Bat-kids revealing themselves and arriving via Zeta, then Selina? Catwoman decides to traumatize the whole league except the Bat-family by arriving via Zeta with the callcode B- some absurd number and calling Batman Daddy, traumatizing the league into thinking Batman has 300 or 500 or something like children. After Batman clarifies the truth of the situation, he goes to remove his cowl, and Diana is like NO!!!!! Please let us get over all this trauma before dropping another nuclear bombshell on us; we can't take any more! Any help is appreciated!

[sepia-stained-sunset]

Dick is glad that Jason is finally at the age where he can talk shit about Bruce with him, only he never bothered telling Jason that.

Jason: Oh great, now you turn up to lecture me. Well, I don't need to take shit from the guy obsessed with a man who sees everything in black and white and has a god complex so big it should have a Manor of its own.

Dick: And what about the way he's always so condescending even when he's totally wrong?

Jason: Yeah, and that too...wait, what?

Dick, vibrating with excitement: This is going to be great! God, you should have heard the way he was talking to Babs yesterday, I thought she was going to blow up the Batcomputer

[talyn-leif]

BEHOLD THE BATBLOBS (among other things- e.g. Fatson Todd and Discowing)

(my art btw- I'm open to requests!)

[xxnicodiangelo001xx]

During a conversation about music taste on a rainy night in the manor:

Steph: What about you, Devil Brat? Or do you think you’re too good for music?

Damian:… I like the music the angry lesbians make.

Dick:…

Duke:…

Steph:…. Say what now?

Damian: Y’know.. the type of music where angry lesbians scream about politics..?

Dick:…

Tim:…

Cass:…

Duke:…

Steph:…

Harper:…

Bruce:…

Jason:… Do you mean RIOT GRRRL?????!!!!

[crystal-knightt]

i imagine Bruce pavloved himself into absolutely wolfing down any snacks he was snacking on the moment he hears any of his kids nearby

Tim, subtly eyeing Bruces banana chip snack: Bruce, can you sign some of these documents for WE ? kinda important.

Bruce, places the snack down and grabs the documents: sure

Tim, grabbing the snack and running out of Bruces office: yoink Bruce: :O ?

----

league meeting

Cass and Damian taking turns to see which one can take a mid patrol power boost snack from bruces belt without notice.

-----

Jason, walking up to Bruce: hey

Bruce, eating a sandwich in the kitchen: hi

Jason, takes the sandwich outta Bruces hadn: thats mine

Bruce: oh

----

Bruce snacking at the batcomputer

dick and steph walking out the locker room

Dick: hey Bru-

Bruce, startled, shoving food in his moth: huh? yeah what is it?

Steph: what was that?

Bruce, coughing, struggling to swallow the food: what was what?

Dick: what did you eat? and why did you eat it all the moment we walked in?

Steph: eyah shy did you do that?

Bruce, drinking coffee to wash it all down: nothing, so what did you two need? :)