Is it effective advocacy?
My coordinator raised this question during our reflection group - an hour we spent in smaller groups where we’re given space to share our thoughts and feelings.
Let me outline the context of this situation. We’d spent the day in Kajjiado meeting our partners from Kenya YWCA. They have a project that fights female genital mutilation in the Maasai community. What had also taken place two days prior to our reflection group was the covering of the topic of “Gender”. We’d touched upon several matters, among them being gender issues, gender based violence, female genital mutilation, what defines a man or a woman, and even caning of children as a form of punishment. Now, imagine that the justifiability of these practices is being discussed in a room filled with people who have both opposing, and well-established opinions. Heated topics, right? Try burning hot.
As a result of the initial culture shock, both offensive rhetoric and accusing questions were fired back and forth across the room during the session.
I understand the frustration that comes along upon hearing something that is contrary to some of your core beliefs (I was once told that there is no such thing as rape, meaning that the act is always provoked by the victim and is thus justifiable). Something similar to volcanic activity tends to flare up in the stomach area. But before you let this frustration explode into burning rocks of rude remarks and poisonous bigotry gas, ask yourself “Is this effective advocacy?” The answer is no.
Upon witnessing the scene during the “Gender” session, I was prompted to ask myself: What causes this clash? Is it the fact that there are opposing opinions? Or is it the way these opinions are presented? I would argue for the latter. I truly believe that it’s possible to discuss a sensitive topic without having the discussion turn into a fight.
When one believes something is right, it’s so easy to think that anything else is wrong. It’s so incredibly easy to just shut your eyes and ears to any opposing opinions. But this attitude is a huge liability to any learning process, and attempting to increase cross-cultural understanding is just that, a learning process. Moreover, adding personal attacks during the discussion halts the learning process even further. No matter how good your intentions are, you will come across as close-minded, arrogant, maybe even judgmental and stupid. And you wouldn’t want people to be able to use you as an argument against free speech, right?
I’ve noticed that it’s a common conception that there are a few topics that simply shouldn’t, or even can’t, be touched upon. Examples of these taboo topics are religion, politics and gender. However, discussions over topics like these don’t become unnecessary heated on their own. It is the people who engage in these discussions who determine the course of each discussion. You can decide how you present your opinions, and how you treat the opinions that oppose your own. This is crucial for the quality of the debate. You have the ability to take part in determining what kind of discussion you’re engaging in. You also have the ability to change the course a discussion that already has fallen into the pitfall of obstinacy.
My message is then, yes, I do believe that it’s possible to discuss sensitive topics without the situation turning into a verbal combat. It does require much effort, including the ability hold your tongue before you interrupt, and to attack the argument and not the person, not matter how upset you are. It requires much patience and good will, and it will test the limits of your cultural relativism, but it’s possible. And it’s most certainly worth it.
In conclusion, disagreement is inevitable, but offensive rhetoric is not. Having well-established opinions is not negative, but imposing them on others is. Trying to “win” an argument will yield little, but spurring someone’s curiosity has the potential to yield much. So if your aim is to conduct effective advocacy, steer away from intolerance and narrow-mindedness. Refraining from this will take you a step in the right direction – towards increased understanding across differences.
