A/N: After 9.5ish years, I’ve decided that if I haven’t written an epilogue for this fic yet, then that means that it doesn’t need an epilogue. And I have thought about it a lot over the years. I still love this story.
It was hard, cutting off contact with all his friends. All the people he knew and cared about. It was for the best- it was because he cared about them so much that he couldn't go near them anymore, though.
He'd never admit it to the gems or to his dad, but it was harder than he expected—especially within the first few days of his decision.
(Read it below or on Ao3.)
It was hard, cutting off contact with all his friends. All the people he knew and cared about. It was for the best- it was because he cared about them so much that he couldn't go near them anymore, though.
He'd never admit it to the gems or to his dad, but it was harder than he expected—especially within the first few days of his decision.
Tears crept up and stung his eyes at every tiny thing that reminded him of his now-former best friend... but he couldn't do anything about them this time but hide them. The gems would worry and try to tell him again that he couldn't do this.
But he had to do this. He had to protect everyone and keep them away from the dangers of the Crystal Gems’ presence.
Steven’s day had been awful. There wasn’t any way around it. He’d spent hours on end digging scraps from the hand ship out of the sand, he felt sore in every bone in his body, and he hadn’t even been able to use the day’s digging to distract himself from his decision to keep humans out of his life. The Cool Kids had been very kind to him in their offers and seemed worried when he’d grown more vehement in his protests, but he’d ultimately convinced them he needed to focus on his gem work so he could get it done.
Or at least he’d thought he’d convinced them.
It hurt more than it should’ve as he fumbled around beside himself on his bed to find his phone and it quickly proved to not be worth it. Jenny. He couldn’t go with them to hang out—he’d told them that earlier. Why did they have to make it so hard to say no…?
Rather than rejecting the call, Steven just let it ring through and hoped Jenny would assume he was asleep. Which… sleep did sound nice. He’d just have to get comfortable despite his aching muscles and bones to be able to sleep. When his phone fell silent, Steven started quietly filling the lack of noise with soft humming. He'd learned a long time ago how to sing himself to sleep, and while it never worked as well as someone else singing to him, it was usually worth the effort.
... Until his phone started ringing again.
Trying not to give into the sinking feeling in his gut, he rolled over (ignoring the pain of it the best he could) and pulled his pillow over his ear. He couldn't hang out with them.
The next call was almost immediately after that one.
The fourth call, he almost picked up, but he was too late for it anyways. Instead, he did check who the calls were from. Two from Jenny, one from Buck, and the other from Sour Cream.
He stayed sitting up, expectantly waiting for another call. If they were that insistent, he'd just have to tell them no again.
After a few minutes had ticked by in silence, though, he was about to lay down again when a soft but regular thumping noise made its way to his ears instead.
Footsteps coming up the stairs outside.
Ah geez, of course they would stop by—he should've answered, the beach was still dangerous-
Steven hauled himself out of his bed before the front door could even be knocked on, ready to confront the Cool Kids… when an out-of-breath Kiki made her way up the rest of the staircase.
"Kiki? The beach is dangerous right now, what are you doing out so late?" He wouldn't have expected it from her the way he did from the Cool Kids.
"Jenny... called me... She said- she and the guys were driving... and they found some gem thing in a field... Woo, I need to sprint more."
Gem thing? Surely it couldn't be part of the ship- nothing had gone farther than the pier for the most part. "Let me get the gems and we'll go check it out."
With that, Steven rushed to the Temple door and started knocking on it loudly. "Guys! Guuuuys, gem emergency!"
Surprisingly, the Temple door opened way quicker than it ever had before when he called for them—revealing all three of them coming from Garnet’s room.
“Steven! I’m surprised you’re still awake—what did you need?” Pearl still had that tone he’d heard over the past few days. She was worrying about him again.
“Kiki’s here. Jenny called and said there’s some kind of gem thing at… where are they at, Kiki?”
She seemed to be doing better at least, leaning against the inside of the doorway but catching her breath well. “She said they went out driving and found a big glowing thing in a field.”
And with that, no more needed to be said as the Crystal Gems sprung into action.
Steven kept his eyes on the ground, shuffling a rock around with his sandal while the gems crowded around the abandoned escape pod—examining it. Jenny had taken over explaining what happened (after she, Buck, and Sour Cream had all clambered to tell the gems at the same time) which had left the other two to their own devices. And those devices seemed to involve whispering to each other and glancing in Steven’s direction often.
He felt bad. He should’ve answered his phone to just tell them no instead of avoiding them, but… it was just so hard. He knew this had to be the right decision. He needed to keep everyone safe—he had to. That was part of being a Crystal Gem. But… well, it was kind of like what Pining Grapefruit had said a few episodes ago on Crying Breakfast Friends, wasn’t it? Sometimes the right decision was the hard one.
But he really did miss her already…
No. He didn’t need to think about her. Not in the middle of a mission. Steven focused himself back on the conversation the gems were having.
“We’ll have to bring it back with us. It’s far too dangerous to leave it out here where humans can stumble on it like those three did.”
“Uuugghh. Can’t we just destroy it? Carrying it back is gonna take too long.”
“Amethyst! This is a piece of Homeworld technology, the likes of which we’ve never seen here on Earth. We cannot waste such a good opportunity and just destroy it! Think of all the possible knowledge we can gleam from it. This might be our only chance against Homeworld-“
A light tap on his shoulder shook Steven to attention again, and it was only after that he realized that he’d been close to dozing off where he stood.
“Hey, man… you sure you’re okay? If we’re too much in your space, it’s cool or whatever—we’re just kinda worried about you.” Sour Cream’s face was rarely anything besides calm and relaxed, but now it held a furrow in his brow that felt as abnormal for him as it looked.
Shucks, now he was worrying them even more.
“Enough.” Garnet’s voice cut through everything and mercifully saved him from having to come up with any sort of answer. She didn’t seem upset… but she didn’t seem happy either. “We take it home with us, learn what we can, and then we destroy it. Amethyst, shapeshift to carry it with me. Pearl, Steven—make sure no parts are left behind.”
“Wait-” Jenny interjected, startling practically everyone. “Shouldn’t Steven go home to sleep or somethin’? It’s like—waaaaay too late for him. Let us drive him back home.”
Before any of the gems could speak up, Steven straightened up his tired slouch. “No, no—no worries, I’m fine. I should help.” He glanced up at the gems, pausing on Garnet’s visor. In the dull light, he could see nothing behind it, but he could guess what she was doing in her silence.
When she spoke after a few silent, burning moments, it was very much to Steven’s disappointment. “Right. Steven, you should go home and get some rest. The three of us can handle this… You’ve done enough for the day.” Her tone was so certain that he knew there was no arguing. Not when he was genuinely so exhausted.
The ride home was near silent, the teenagers of the car seeming to understand he was in no mood (and currently not awake enough) for conversation. He thanked Jenny quietly for driving him home before he shut the door and thanked them all once more for calling the gems before he started across the sand towards the Temple, dragging his feet more than he should.
As Steven finally crawled in bed to stay for the night, he recognized one thing before he drifted off into a restless sleep.
That would be the last time he’d ride with any of the cool kids. Maybe even the last time he spoke to them.
((Hey, I’m finally back!! I’m sorry for the wait- life is absolute chaos right now. I’m trying to work on things when I’m able to, though, and here we can finally pick back up from where we left off!! Thank you all so much for your patience. Love, Andi))
Steven is finally home, but... well, he shouldn't be for very long.
Right?
He has Diamond duties and is sure to be so behind on paperwork- plus the Diamonds are sure to be furious about what happened.
So he should get on back to Homeworld as quick as he can... right?
(Continue reading on Ao3 or below.)
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He was floating.
Or… was he?
It was hard to tell. He was definitely in the sky—the fresh air arguing with his messy curls in cool gusts of wind. So he had to be floating, surrounded by the violets of sunset that were steadily turning darker as he continued to move through it.
He went up higher, surprised at the lack of clouds as the space around him turned to pitch black night with just the pinpricks of stars living so very far away to light the area. He was going too high… but it was so peaceful. And it had been so long since he’d been able to float with so little effort.
A bright movement to his left caught in his peripherals, and he sharply turned to look. Two new, larger dots had appeared from nowhere and seemed to be moving. Shooting stars? Oh, that had to be beautiful from the ground especially. But they seemed a little too close to Earth for comfort. Maybe he should check for any expected showers and any possible dangers of them because these two really were rather close.
Unless they weren’t actually stars? They did seem to be getting bigger quickly. And instead of all the different colors of fire, they were just pure white.
He glanced down towards the Earth for a moment… but as he did a full, slow spin, there was no Earth to be seen. There was nothing but stars that suddenly all felt too… flat. Too white. He fumbled to turn himself back around towards the mysterious white dots and just as he got there, his arms were suddenly pinned to his sides and something took an iron grasp on him.
Blindingly white fingers cuffed their way around his whole body as two deadly talons buried their way into his skin, and in no more seconds, he was ripped into two…
And then he was falling. Earth came rushing back into view as he dropped like a rock towards it. There was nothing he could do—there was no stopping this—he couldn’t float, he couldn’t fly, no one to come help him—just hard ground racing towards him.
He couldn’t even brace for impact because there was no bracing for this—
Steven shot upright, panting hard as he lit up his lofted bedroom with vibrant pink. After a moment of flailing around somewhat in panic, it pretty quickly set in that his house completely silent and empty with only the waves crashing on the shore outside to keep him company.
He was fine. He was safe. It was just another nightmare. Just another bad dream—he dealt with those all night, every night by now. What was one more?
But after a few slow moments, reality started to settle in a tad more. He was… he was home. He was actually home. He wasn’t— He wasn’t on Homeworld. He wasn’t in the tower anymore.
It took a few minutes for that fact to process and for Steven to comb through his recent memories to figure out how that had happened. After being trapped in there alone for however long he had been—he remembered the count was somewhere over two weeks—not very much had even registered in his mind anymore.
He’d been in the tower… and then suddenly there was light. And then he was being moved—being carried. He had some vague memories of being taken care of by Lapis and Peridot and Pearl, but mostly he could just remember his dreams from however long he’d been sleeping for. None of which had been particularly good, but he’d decidedly had worse as well.
After a few slow minutes, Steven pushed off his blanket and slowly hauled himself up out of his bed—heading straight over towards his dresser. However he’d gotten out of the tower, he knew it hadn’t been the full time the Diamonds had intended to keep him in there for. So while there was no way in the universe he was willingly going back into that tower to please them, there was surely some damage control that needed to be done.
The glow of his skin faded out as he searched his drawer—settling on one of the easy, plain white shirts he’d begun wearing a couple years prior (it was a lot easier to replace them when he accidentally ripped through them- an occurrence which was thankfully much less often now as he’d learned to suppress the swelling issues) and a pair of jeans. His usual attire, but it was comfortable and easy. He grabbed a pair of socks as his eyes adjusted to just the moonlight streaming through his windows and headed for the stairs.
As Steven made it down the first two steps, he froze at a familiar sound he hadn’t heard in a very long time.
The house lit up a light blue for a moment as Pearl emerged from the Temple. Pearl-Pearl. Not the rejuvenated, overly-annoying version of Pearl he’d grown used to and tired of—even if she’d been poofed, she would never wear the outfit she had on now. She noticed him quickly, and Steven was stunned still again as she spoke up.
“Steven! I’m so glad you’re finally awake—we’ve been so worried. Lapis and Peridot went over to Greg’s to check on Garnet and Amethyst. I’ll have to call and let them know you’re up.” Steven couldn’t help as tears of… relief? Joy? Probably some combination of the two? that started to well in the corners of his eyes. Pearl was back.
A long moment of silence stretched as he processed the information, but he couldn’t help notice as Pearl’s expression changed from relief to confusion and slight concern.
“Steven… Where are you going? We picked up some of your favorites to eat when we brought you home, and the shops are all closed this late.”
That sobered Steven up. Was he still overjoyed to see and hear Pearl talk and look like herself? Of course. But… well… that meant she wouldn’t be happy with his answer either.
“I was just… going to figure out how mad they are.” As the confusion visibly turned to disapproval, Steven was quick to try and explain. “You know how they get when they’re mad—especially White, and she’s the one who made me go there and I don’t want…” The tears were coming back again quickly as his voice faltered. All the horrific possibilities of what White could do if she tried. All the things she had done in anger already… He couldn’t risk it.
Pearl’s approach was steady, but her expression was stern. Her own worries crept into her voice as she stopped at the bottom of the stairs, but her tone was still firm. “Steven, you need to rest. You were locked in there for far too long without sunlight and without actual Earth food.” She was growing angrier now, but Steven knew it wasn’t at him. “Forget what they want. If they insist on treating you like this then they frankly don’t deserve to spend any time with you at all. And if they want to start the war again over what we did, I’ll have more than a piece of my mind to give them.”
It was too much. The relief and the joy of the version of Pearl he knew best and the only one he considered his family finally coming back, the swell of love he felt from just how much she genuinely cared about him (over the stupid worshipping he’d suffered through over the past year), the guttural fear and anxiety of the Diamonds and their reactions, the stress of not knowing how much work had surely piled up for him or what had gone wrong in his absence, and the deep resentment towards… well, towards all of Homeworld…
The tears finally spilled over, and he practically jumped over the remaining few stairs. It took Pearl a stunned moment before she wrapped her arms back around Steven in return, but once they were there, she didn’t let go of him for hours as he cried—finally letting out so much he’d been piling up on himself without the gems, without his family, there to support him.
He’d have to return to Homeworld at some point. Likely rather soon as well—if he didn’t go to them, they’d send someone for him eventually.
But for now… Pearl was right. And he’d admit as much to her a thousand times and bear all the gloating such an admission brought as long as it meant she was back to her overbearing, fearless, rebellious, strict, motherly self.
Well, okay, he's not missing if they know he's on Homeworld, but he wasn't the sort to just go zero-contact for this long.
And it's officially been long enough.
They would find him and bring him home or get shattered trying.
(Ao3 Version)
Prev | First | Next
Pearl was… distressed. Her It’s Steven had been away for so very long now—longer than she could ever remember him being gone since she’d first emerged. And now she was disobeying a direct order from him! What in the stars was she even thinking?
She wasn’t supposed to be thinking at all! Stars, she was doing everything wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, she should be replaced, she-
Didn’t have much time to continue the train of thought as she was pulled off the warp pad on Homeworld by Peridot. So she listened instead because she shouldn’t be thinking even to berate herself on how disobedient she was being.
“We go to his room. If he’s not there, we find Zircon.”
Lapis nodded sharply, and Pearl would have hardly been going this fast on her own. But the two were practically running and kept her up to speed with them. It was hardly appropriate for any of them to be running in the palace halls… but she was already indecent for breaking the one rule she’d ever been given. And it wouldn’t do if she were caught alone unless ordered so by her Diamond.
The route from the Galaxy Warp over to Steven’s room—Steven’s tower, actually—was an easy one but the longest it could take to get to any of the Diamonds’ chambers which meant time had creeped past Steven’s usual wake-up point by the time they made it there. Lo and behold, when they hurried in (Pearl was pleasantly surprised she was able to open the door but confused because she’d never done the calibration to be able to do as much), no Steven.
Lapis gave an exasperated groan and promptly started to rush off again, and Pearl made to follow her before Peridot called out to them both. “Wait! … Something’s not right here…” After a moment of looking around and thinking, she pointed to a duffle bag by his bed. A closed one. “Steven’s bag is packed.”
Lapis hurried back in the room past Pearl who stepped closer after her again, rather befuddled but unquestioning. She couldn’t help be worried still, though. “What…? So he’s coming home soon? What the hell’s he been doing here so long?”
“No… Lapis, I don’t think he ever unpacked it. Look-” Pearl watched as Peridot picked up the bag, struggling somewhat. “It’s too heavy and too full. He always puts his dirty clothes in another bag—I see him carry both home every time.” She went to pull the zipper, but that was enough for Pearl to speak up with an automatic response.
“My Diamond would not be pleased with anyone rifling through his personal belongings.”
It was difficult to smile obediently and patiently at the glare Lapis gave her and exasperation from Peridot as she dropped the zipper. “Right. Well, I don’t think Steven’s opened his duffle bag since he got here…”
Lapis’s expression screwed up at the implications of that and took the bag from Peridot, having an easier time with the weight of it. “We’ll bring it home with him, then.”
And with that, they were on the move again, straight from Steven’s tower to the building next door and through to a pink closed door. Pearl jumped sharply as Lapis’s abrupt banging on the door frightened her, and she regained her composure and pleasant smile as the door slid open. She also promptly saluted then.
“What did I say about-“ Zircon cut off, taking in the sight of the three gems in front of her and grimacing. “The two of you are trouble when you want to be. He’s not here. And I’m under direct orders to tell no one where he is, so you’re going to have to find someone other than me.”
“Well then tell us who put the gag order on you, and we’ll go ask them,” Lapis shot back, impatient and unwilling to jump through hoops. Something about the way she phrased it, though… upset Pearl. She couldn’t place why, though, so she focused on the conversation again instead— forcing the smile back to her face. She was thinking too much still.
“One of the only four gems who can give me orders. That should be enough for you to determine it. Now, please leave my office. I am incredibly busy at this moment.” Zircon eyed each of them shortly before she turned on her heel and went back into her office, the door sliding closed behind her. Peridot and Lapis gave one another a look that Pearl couldn’t quite grasp before they started walking again, and she dutifully followed them.
“Would you like me to carry my It’s Steven’s bag, Lapis Lazuli?” She asked as they left the building.
“No, Pearl, just keep up with us.” Curt and short, but Pearl did as she was told.
The walk to Blue Diamond’s quarter of the palace was rather short, but the wait once they were there was less so. She nodded her head politely as Blue’s Pearl greeted them, informing them of her Diamond’s presence in a meeting. And from there, they just had to wait. There were hushed discussions between Peridot and Lapis, but Pearl hardly snooped and listened. She was already breaking so very many rules.
When the door they waited outside of finally slid open, Pearl snapped to absolute attention and saluted immediately as the lustrous Blue Diamond stepped out. And she couldn’t help be more than a little appalled as Peridot and Lapis failed to do the same.
“Oh. You two… are some of Steven’s court, yes? My Pearl informed me I had been requested. What ever might this be about?”
Lapis truly did not pull punches as she lacked any hesitation. “Where is Steven? We know you know where he is. We know he hasn’t been to his room since he got here over a month ago, and we know something’s up.”
Pearl watched fearfully as Blue Diamond’s face flickered through anger then annoyance then settled on sadness. The massive leader looked around at the other gems in the room then took the small group by surprise as she bent over and extended her hand out towards them—offering a place for her to hold them. Lapis, however, ignored it, drew out her water wings, and flew up to Blue Diamond’s usual eye-level instead. The Diamond straightened out and whispered directly to Lapis for a moment.
It was… odd. In a sense. To see another Diamond speaking so secretly and so sadly to a member of another Diamond’s court. Pearl wasn’t sure to make of it still even as Lapis flew back to the ground rapidly, her expression contorted with rage (the likes of which Pearl doubted she’d seen since she’d first emerged—when her It’s Steven fought that awful Spinel).
And her language as she returned to them was hardly filled with words befitting the presence of a Diamond. Pearl found no time to object to it, however, as Lapis set off again without another word to any of them. Instead, she did as she was supposed to.
She bowed to Blue Diamond with her salute still perfectly in place and a soft apology for Lapis’s unsavory speech, and then gracefully followed the two of them again.
Pearl had to properly run in order to catch up and even to keep up once she was behind them again as Peridot had jumped onto her human metal can lid and floated to keep speed with Lapis. Pearl was grateful she could at least hear them still as she tried to stay below them without disrupting anyone else.
“Where is he? What did she say?”
“It’s no wonder he’s been gone! They- I-“ But Lapis was too angry to finish her sentence as she cut it off with an enraged cry and just continued to lead the way.
Past the rest of Blue Diamond’s quarter.
Past most of White Diamond’s quarter until they’d reached almost the back of the area of Homeworld considered the palace where a lone, gray tower stood high above the surrounding ones. Stars, it stood almost as tall as White Diamond’s ship. Wordlessly, Lapis picked her up beneath the arms suddenly—surprising and somewhat frightening her as she took off towards the top of it with Peridot following them closely.
“Where the hell’s the entrance to this thing anyways?”
“There should be an elevator that rises from the ground somewhere—look for where that would connect!”
Just as Pearl started to feel very uneasy at dangling in the air from Lapis’s arms as she was, there was a shout of success from Peridot, and a section of one wall slid open. Once they were inside, Lapis let her back down to the floor and instead approached a vast sealed door in front of them. They were unlike any others Pearl had seen on Homeworld or Earth. There was no visible scanner to open them, no handles, no hinges. The only way to determine it was a door was from the crack running down the middle that was so tightly closed, it was barely visible either.
“Can we even do this…?” Peridot questioned, gazing up at the immense size of the doors.
“Whatever it takes—we’re not leaving until Steven is free,” Lapis affirmed, ready at any moment for a fight should anyone disagree with them.
Pearl froze in her tracks, not noticing anything around for a moment as Peridot and Lapis began to struggle with the door. That word resonated through her. That last word.
Something… wasn’t right. In her.
Or… was it?
No…. Yes?
…. Yes. Yes, something was right. Very right.
She’d disobeyed orders. From her diamond, from the other diamonds, from everyone who had ever given her one… And it felt good… A Pearl disobeying…? But what was she supposed to do when she felt she’d lost the person she looked up to most?
She was just a Pearl—who was she to question-
But… but she was… she was more than a Pearl. Wasn’t she…?
She was. She… she was… She is.
Something snapped. Or broke free or something, but a flood of memories rushed through her. Memories of rebelling. Memories of Steven… Of helping him. Teaching him. Fighting with him. Fighting for him. Things she couldn’t recognize, but she knew immediately they were real.
More came. Steven wasn’t the first she’d fought to protect. Pearl remembered her. She remembered fighting for her. Protecting her. Devoting everything to her. Loving her… losing her.
Something changed. And she started to reform.
“It’s not going to work, Lapis! There’s nothing to hack into, no weak points to destroy. It’s just too-“ Peridot’s words cut off sharply as she looked towards her friend who was desperately slashing at the tower door with harsh streams of water as a physical offense, but her gaze drifted back behind them from a familiar sort of light brightening up the short hallway. Her eyes widened, and she couldn’t help it as a grin spread across her face just as much. “Lapis- Lapis, look!”
Thankfully, the blue gem did look before she started cursing as Pearl—the real version of Pearl—landed gracefully to her feet, freshly reformed and seeming a bit dazed.
“You’re back!” Pearl stumbled back a bit as Peridot’s arms were slung around her legs, and she looked between her and Lapis confused.
“Wha- what in the Stars has gotten into the two of you?” Not that Pearl could even tell entirely what was wrong with herself at the moment. Her mind was fuzzy, and she was disoriented as she tried to remember where they were and why even as she was hugged tight enough to hurt.
Peridot let go to surreptitiously wipe away a tear under her vizor. “Right. It’s sure to be a struggle to recalibrate yourself for a time. You were rejuvenated for nearly a year. Garnet and Amethyst still are. Steven, Lapis, and I have been trying to bring you all ba-“
“Steven…” The mere mention of him jogged something in Pearl’s gem. Steven… Steven was locked up in the tower. The one Pink had been locked in so often before she’d been created. That’s where they were now. Meaning the door right in front of them was the only thing in their way of bringing him home.
It was almost scary how drastically and rapidly Pearl’s expression changed from confusion to recognition to anger, and Peridot was completely willing to step back out of the way as Pearl gently pushed Lapis off, pulled out two metal swords from her gem, and stepped forward with a look that made it clear how the rebels had won the war with her amongst the leaders.
Well, okay, he's not missing if they know he's on Homeworld, but he wasn't the sort to just go zero-contact for this long.
And it's officially been long enough.
They would find him and bring him home or get shattered trying.
(Here is also an Ao3 Version.)
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It was stupid.
It was absolutely, absurdly, ridiculously stupid how easy it was to piss off the Diamonds sometimes.
Sure, sure, they’d gotten better about it. Kind of. Apparently not as much as he’d thought—at least not when it came to White.
All he had to do was make one suggestion at what had apparently been the wrong time-
In the near-three years since he’d met the Diamonds formally and first travelled to Homeworld, Steven had been locked in the tower a total of five times. Three of them had been for just a couple days but hardly less unpleasant than the longer spells. But the other two times… His first prison sentence (there was nothing else he could call it) had been literal torture. He’d discovered things about how his half-gem biology differed (how the ways he could survive differed) from that of a full-human in ways he never wanted to experience again—in pain he never wanted to experience again. At the very least, Blue had recognized then that he wasn’t lying about having human needs, so the tower and “his” own chambers had been outfitted appropriately. It meant none of his other times in the tower had been as bad as the first, but it was hardly fun or even easy to handle. But what had to be the worst part about every single time he’d been put in that tower is that he never knew how long it would be until he could get back out of it. And with only six tiny windows, it was near impossible to tell a time since Homeworld lack Earth’s same sort of day and night cycle he vastly preferred.
The Diamonds even needed and actively used his help all the time now! Even with their own duties! But apparently, once again suggesting they let gems choose their occupations (despite the fact they knew how deeply he believed this and had successfully set it in motion within his own Court) had been just enough for White at that moment for her to not care about any of that right now. Instead, he got a disgusted and disappointed look, and Yellow got an order to put him away.
It was a small comfort, at least, that Yellow and Blue both looked regretful and as though they wanted to refuse the order.
By Day Three, he didn’t care so much anymore about that because he was still back in this damn tower anyways.
By Day Five, Steven properly started wondering just how long until he could get out. He missed… Well hell, he missed everything. And everyone. His daily delivery of food and fresh water from the crops at the Zoo being shoved through the slot in the door built for that sole purpose was the most contact he’d had with anyone, and the gem on the other side was hardly allowed to speak back to him. It was times like this he desperately wished he could keep things in his gem to even just have a guitar. Or even paperwork. Just anything to stop the maddening, looping thoughts in his head. The only thing that helped was singing, and even then, he couldn’t write any of it down. But he sang it over and over again so much, he sort of doubted he’d be able to forget it anyways. If that was a plus.
By Day Nineteen (maybe), he’d stopped singing. He wasn’t even sure he’d thanked the door every day for his supply like he liked to. He didn’t care anymore—he just wanted out.
“-ridot. Peridot. Peridot!” Splash. Peridot sat bolt upright, awake now, half-drenched, and rapidly checking that her tablet was safe. It was in Lapis’s hand, being extended towards her to reclaim when there wouldn’t be any water damage done to it. “Come on, we’re leaving for Homeworld as soon as we’re done checking on Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Greg.” There was a tense note in her voice that had been consistent throughout the past few weeks—not that Peridot could blame her.
“Right. That’s today. Let’s get to it, then!” Peridot hauled herself up off the now-wet couch and accepted her tablet back after shaking the water off her hands before she motioned for Lapis to lead the way.
Thirty-seven days. It had been thirty-seven days since any of them had seen or heard from Steven. Oh sure, they could always contact Zircon and did every day to ask if he could speak to them, but she kept saying he was unavailable. By the look on her face, all they could tell is that she was no more thrilled about the reason he was unavailable as she was about their constant calls. It was ten days after he’d left for Homeworld last (longer than he’d been gone in years) that they’d first called Zircon and a couple more days after that when Peridot had stopped Lapis from going to Homeworld herself. Steven’s work with the Diamonds was delicate, and anything they did would lead to his punishment as much as their own. So rather than rushing off, Peridot had reasoned out an agreement with Lapis when they would go. Twenty-five days seemed like… a lot, really. It was a lot. Definitely more than Peridot liked either, but Zircon was still willing to answer their calls and insisted she knew where Steven was and insisted even harder that they not come.
“Right. We have approximately eighty-two minutes until Steven’s daily wake-up call should arrive to him on Homeworld, so that gives us a maximum of nineteen-point-five minutes with each of them to have time to warp to Homeworld and catch him before he leaves his room.” It would be silly to assume Steven was actually functioning on his normal schedule, but it was all they could go off of.
Lapis nodded, cold determination emanating from her as she wordlessly led the way out of the house to check on Greg first. Peridot followed, trying to soothe her own worries when they would hopefully have an answer to their concerns in just a few hours.
Thankfully, Greg was easier to check on than he used to be. Now that “Andy” (she still tended to call him The Other Greg to herself and to Lapis) was helping out more often, it was rare that either of them had to really do anything, but it helped Steven when they asked to make sure. They chatted for a few moments to let him know their plans for the day, and then they were gone again with a solid “good luck” and a plea to bring his son home.
Garnet and Amethyst were also easy to check on as they were at the house, attempting to play a human board game with no help or instructions, but they were at least having fun. A little over a month wasn’t very long for them, after all. It just was for Steven and anyone who functioned on a human schedule.
It proved a bit more difficult to find Pearl, however. She avoided the Temple—even her own room because it “was so awfully dangerous” by the amount of weapons stored there—and tended to stick around the house cleaning where nothing needed to be cleaned, but no one had seen her since the previous afternoon.
Time ticked on by, and the spare minutes they’d saved up in making the other check-ins quick were rapidly dispensed. Peridot scrunched her nose in mild irritation as the alarm she’d set on her tablet started to go off at her hip, and she wiggled out from under the back rafters where she’d been searching.
They were out of time or they’d miss their chance to catch him.
“Lapis! Hey, Lapis, come on, we gotta go! We can’t find her right now,” she called up towards the lighthouse even as another layer of anxiety piled itself on top of her stack. Where in the stars was Pearl? She wouldn’t leave the planet—that was the only thing Steven had ever ordered of her for her own safety. So where had she gone?
Lapis dropped to the ground beside her and was already walking back up the path to the house. She’d stopped wanting to search at least half an hour before; Peridot knew she was just as concerned about Pearl, but their worries for Steven won out in this instance. “She’ll be fine; let’s go.”
Peri quickly followed, grabbing her metal hovering device from just inside the front door and without stopping on the way to the warp pad; with a rush of light and a musical chime, they were at the Galaxy Warp. She gasped as the light dissipated and recognized someone there other than two of the four Rose Quartz guards (Rosie and Quinn as they liked to be called) in charge of keeping non-Earth gems off planet. “Pearl!!” Relief washed through Peridot as she hurried over to their “friend” (even after almost a year, it was still so bizarre and just… wrong not having Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl as their normal selves) who was resting on her knees in front of the Galaxy Warp. “We looked everywhere… for.. you.” As soon as she saw Pearl’s face, she knew she’d been crying—enough for wise tear tracks to be dried down her cheeks.
Pearl pulled herself up from the ground, lacking her usual grace and semi-forced cheer as she saluted them both. “I apologize for not informing you of my whereabouts, Lapis Lazuli and Peridot. I wished to await my It’s Steven here so I might know the moment he returns to Earth…” It clicked.
Peridot knew something had been wrong lately, but of course she hadn’t been able to get a word out of Pearl about what it was. She still followed the classic rules of a Pearl, and that meant hiding and ignoring any of her own feelings. For her to have even cried like she clearly had been… well, it was almost relieving to see albeit kind of sad.
Before Peridot could point any of this out, Lapis’s patience was gone. “Well then, stop with the salute thing and come with us. We’re going to find him.”
Pearl started. “Find… him…? But- but he’s on Homeworld! I would be disobeying a direct order from my Diamond, I could hardly-“
“Who cares? If you’re coming, get moving. We need to leave.” Apparently Lapis had even less patience at the moment than Peridot had thought, but it was apparently just as well. When Lapis walked past to the massive warp pad in front of them, Pearl hesitated for a very long moment before she followed—seeming to struggle to take each step. But she still made them.
Peridot stayed by Pearl’s side for each slow step, and even Lapis calmed down some with wide eyes as they walked up and onto the Galaxy Warp. Once they were within the boundaries, Peridot warped the three of them away before Pearl could turn back and change her mind.
What about Connie? I have the feeling that she hasn't given up on helping you.
He thought about them.
Not as often anymore- he had so many duties as a Diamond to keep up with, especially with none of the help from Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl he'd gotten used to before she came along and messed them up- but Steven never went more than a few days thinking about the ones he'd given up.
Sure, he still saw them. Especially since he could no longer reliably ask one of the gems to go to the grocery store or to run errands for him. Not many of the people he'd grown up calling friends were still in town, but the ones that were there had long since accepted he'd no longer speak to them beyond what was necessary. So his mind tended to wander about how their lives were beyond the friendly smile customer service demanded.
Were the older kids- now young adults since they were 19 and 20- off at college studying? Moved to a big city? What did they have planned for the future? What was everyone up to? Who’d had relationships? How had everyone done in school? The questions continued.
And then there were the more selfish questions his brain would rattle off to him late at night when he was hunched over paperwork on his diamond tablet or when he was trying to sleep.
Were they still upset at him? Did they ever forgive him? Were the ones who had expressed worry still worried? Or was he nothing more than a reoccurring face now? Did they ever think about him any? Could they ever guess he was thinking about them? Could they ever sense that he always sent silent well-wishes to them all on their birthdays and holidays?
Usually if he couldn’t shut them off in time, those would lead to the most selfish thoughts and questions that had ever passed through his head. The ones that had never stopped reoccurring practically every day since that fateful moment when he was thirteen.
How was Connie?
All the previous questions applied to her as well, but while he'd just stopped speaking to everyone around town gradually (as it turned out, he couldn't get away with just dropping everyone at once without the humans and the gems of Beach City growing concerned about him)...
Steven Quartz Diamond Universe had quite a few regrets in his life- most of which were sealed in bubbles floating around in the Temple- but he felt pathetic at just how many of them paled in comparison to the day he left Connie Maheswaran alone on the beach.
It had been over three years- almost four- since that day, and he could still hear her sobs perfectly... Her sobs, her yelling. Yelling he rightly deserved for hurting her, but he only did it once so that he never could again. How hard it was to not break down in tears of his own and beg for forgiveness for suggesting it—for even considering it.
It had never seemed fair. He chose to make her leave his life for the sake of protecting her, so the fact it had hurt both of them so much... it had always made what seemed to be the right choice feel very much like it had been the wrong one.
And then the final question. The one he never dared to let himself finish. It only really completed itself in the times when he was tossed in and locked away in that small tower near the middle of Homeworld's center city—so impossibly isolated for days, weeks, one time even months on end with only daily, no-contact drops of food and water that he couldn’t help let his mind go to the “what if” for the sake of staying sane.
What would she do if he called her today?
He was positive her home number was the same since there'd be zero reason to change it, and Dr. Maheswaran was the sort of person who definitely would keep the house phone even after the three of them had proper cell phones (rather than the simple flip phone Connie had when they were kids).
But he knew he couldn't do it. He wouldn't do it.
He'd been right about his life, after all. It was far too dangerous for a human to be involved in. Hell, his dad was just barely living proof of that fact.
Sometimes he could dream.
But for the moment, he just shook himself to focus on what Yellow was saying as their meeting with the Zircons dragged on.
((Hey, bet you weren't expecting a fic as a response, but I have been waiting for this!! I hope it was worth the wait! -Andi))
