Little Black Book of a Floriculturist
When my heart cracked open in your hands,
Did you finally realize you were the only good thing left in it,
Fragmented fractals shimmering and shiny like crystalized corundum,
Left you red handed,
Were you satisfied?
Rosary beads banded around my knuckles,
Fist fighting with god,
I’m not a religious man,
But i had faith in you,
Thought of you angelic,
Studied your soul like scriptures,
Prayed I’d be good enough,
To spend forever in your presence,
But i forgot that even lucifer was an angel once,
Was i sacrificed?
You found your immortality,
Living on from this,
Somehow immortalized in every memory that destroys me,
You were so righteous in your thinking,
That you thought you needed to fix me,
Instead of your dishonest and selfish nature,
Like every preacher and pope,
Hiding grotesque behind their robe,
You can only hide behind that facade for so long,
Will it end?
You painted me demonic, diabolical and all the colors of dirt,
Then painted yourself black and blue,
Like somehow I hurt you,
Somehow me painting pictures of our future,
Sacrificing my time,
And having faith in your word was a sin,
Though I took blame for all of mine and yours now and then,
Why crucify me?
You were dancing with the devil long before I ever gave my kiss of death, But please sing your song angelic,
Hymns of hurt and hate,
But remember,
You are not holy.
And if i am to stand david to your goliath,
I will not destroy you by stone,
I will remind myself of mouse,
Pulling the thorn from your paw,
Knowing you do this out of pain,
Why still lie?
Catholic school did you wonders,
And I wonder if you remember
How you baptized my soul,
The water washed away the space between our bodies that night,
And I remember the way you anointed your lipstick on my cheek,
With that kiss in front of everyone,
I was devout to your love,
Why lose faith?
But I guess that was the old testament and this the new,
A testament to how angels can fall and that I no longer worship you.
I'm left lighting candles here lately lady lucifer,
But do I repent the sins I found in your skin
Or do I leave it here in these scriptures,
Left for interpretation,
Will anyone understand?
I stand here, silent, searching for a prayer to lay this all to rest,
Two hail marys for us sinners and our death,.
Deathly silence fills the space between us now,
In these echoing catacombs of bodies,
Whispering bury my lost faith here and now,
And god help the man who finds sanctuary at you idle,
Knees kneeling where mine used to be,
Will he notice?
