#gatekeepers suck

[charomiami]

Don't make me come back there and vague post

[actias-android]

Thanks for the reply to Dove, just wanted to say that as a young and new to the community person I find the need for otherkin to be an involuntary identity a bit scary? As in, what if I simply don't know whether it's voluntary or not? I liked foxes for almost as long as I can remember and they feel connected to my nonhuman identity. But did I like them because I was already connected to them in a way or did I connect to them because I like them? And why is it so important? Why can't I just *be*?

Right? Like, for a whole lot of people, it's a chicken and egg question. Am I attracted to this identity because it is my identity, or is this my identity because I'm attracted to this identity? And honestly...it isn't that important, at least as far as whether or not you fit into a community. If you can't immediately say, yeah nah I'm just doing this for a laugh, then you probably aren't just doing it for a laugh, and even if somehow later you decide you aren't that identity anymore, or you decide you were wrong in the first place...so? That's okay too. Change over time is the normal state of affairs and not something to be feared for "invalidating" you somehow. This is a thing I really wish gatekeepers would just get through their heads: they actively drive away new and potential community members who would have fit in just fine, found support, and contributed new ideas and energy to the overall group. It's a shame and a huge loss for everyone.

Identity really can actually just be circular. Your identity can turn around and eat its own tail without you ever noticing, and now you like foxes because you're a fox because you like foxes because you're a fox because you like foxes because you're a fox ad infinitum. This harms literally nobody. It's just a weird little perpetual motion machine of foxes all the way down and that's totally alright.

And I think it's woefully understated what role social choice plays in identity. Even fitting into a community and adopting others' takes on what definitions mean is going to shape and guide and, yes, change your identity. Calling yourself otherkin (or any community label) is a 100% voluntary step towards being otherkin. I would even argue that you cannot be otherkin unless you choose to do so, because it's not a default state or neutral understanding of the self, it's a voluntary position.

But, to put your mind at rest, if you are sincere in saying that you are other-than-human in some way, and that this is important to your understanding of yourself, and you feel that otherkin is the label for what you're experiencing, then boom, you are otherkin. It's really that simple and overcomplicating it isn't doing anyone any favors.

But also, remember that for all that it's the "big label" and the number of gatekeepers over the years has made it seem like it must be the sacred pinnacle of nonhumanity, it's just another label, and you don't need it to be a Real Valid Nonhuman either. You don't even need it to associate with the broader otherkin community. You can just do that anyway, and nobody worth giving the time of day will make a fuss about it.

[toonwatcher]

You know what I love? Reverse Gatekeepers. Those angelic people who when they realize that someone is only now getting into a fandom they’ve been a part of for years immediately form a bond with that person, welcoming them to the fold and maybe even offering advice on how to improve their overall experience.

Because your fandom was not better “before all these noobs joined”, it was better when all you had to do to join was like the same series.

[welcome-to-gaydas]

Welp.

(Personal post but...

A Transmed and aro/ace exclusivist liked/reblogged one of my posts so guess who was my very first block on Tumblr? It might be petty, but I think it is nugshit that people want to decide who is "really Trans" based on how much they suffer. Also in this house we believe that ace and aro people are valid.)

[wonderingwarlockofthenight]

🖤😏💀

Exactly. Mind your own cauldron.

[shutterlens]

[tw: unreality, anti-autistic ableism, smoking (metaphor), genocide, current events, potentially distressing content]

Yesterday I daydreamed about a terrible new trend that I imagined happening on Tumblr in my daydream where there were these people who called themselves "radical introverts".

Radical introverts were introverts who claimed that ambivertion doesn't exist and that people who called themselves ambiverts or social introverts were just extroverts looking to invade the introvert community to further oppress and exploit what they called "true introverts".

These "radical introverts" called extroverts, ambiverts, and social introverts "tucoms", which was shorthand for "too communicative to be an introvert" and these radical introverts were also super ableist against autistic people too in a mostly lateral sense.

I imagined the bios of radical introverts to look something like "27 - Radical Introvert! Tucoms and fake autistics DNI!". Radical introverts also had very antagonistic and gatekeeping attitudes to everything they talked about and were very unbearable to be around yet frighteningly popular in this daydream.

The defining belief among radical introverts was that in order to be Autistic, you had to be a radical introvert, and that Autism and leanings toward extroversion or ambiversion were inherently diametric opposites. In other words, these people believed that you have to be a radical introvert in order to be Autistic, that you have to hate people, hate socializing, and be fueled solely by alone time, which is something that I cannot possibly imagine to be even remotely pleasant as an Autistic person myself.

I am Autistic and I still crave community and deeper-level social interaction despite still needing time by myself to recover from the overwhelming exhaustion that socializing too much causes. My life is a balancing act between seeking community and solo recovery, so this disregard for the balancing act of my life that this imaginary radical introvert movement causes deeply scares me specifically because it further divides people and leaves those like me with no community support to go to.

If you consider yourself to be one of these "radical introverts" or sympathize with the principles of radical introversion (including the ableism and gatekeeping against Autistic people), do not interact with this post. Radical introverts and their divisive and excluding principles disgust me, and I think that they should also disgust any good ally to the Autistic Community too. Transmeds and other gatekeepers are not allowed to interact with this post either.

To be completely honest, daydreams like these are probably some sort of sign that I should lay off a bit on Tumblr except to be aware of the genocide against Palestine and topics related to that. I've been trying to boycott Starbucks whenever I can, but it's pretty hard for me in the same sense that a smoker tries to quit smoking because the only thing I really get from there is the espresso and cream cans whenever I go on-campus on Wednesdays which is part of my routine, but other than that, I try not to support Starbucks, especially considering their anti-union practices too. I feel like my brain has been too Tumblr-fied and daydreams like these might cause me to slip into some sort of Tumblrized unreality psychosis (as someone with Generalized Psychosis myself).

11/15/2023 Update: I've finally started fully boycotting Starbucks by not purchasing the espresso and cream cans and getting my caffeine elsewhere! It's been tough as nails on me, but it's something I know I've had to do for the greater good.

[bubbly-alchemist]

[magical-xirl-4]

It’s 4am, I’m emotional and Tired again

Non-binary lesbians are valid

He/him lesbians are valid

Goodnight