Rating: Mature audiences only. This work contains: Sexual situtaions and adult language.
Summary: You had a long day at work and just wanna relax.
Excerpt:
He smirked and leaned in, arm coming down to just barely graze yours. You expertly held in the shiver that threatened to burst down your spine.
"Maybe it does. I'm much more interested in you right now. It's refreshing to have a challenge every now and then."
You scoffed as you pulled your arm away. You took another sip of your beer before replying.
"Is everything a game to you?"
"Yes." He smirked and despite your annoyance you felt a low heat in your belly. He was so damn sexy, even though he knew it.
"Well, you must lose every now and then."
"Not really. I tend to get what I want." His voice took on a dangerously low quality and you felt yourself swallowing harshly. He smiled knowingly and leaned back.
LINKS: Part 1: x , Part 2: x , Part 3: x , Part 4: x , Part 5: x , Part 6: x , Part 7: x , Part 8: x , Part 9: x , Part 10 x
- Admin Kitty
Jiyong
15th May
Tuesday has rolled around slower than ever this week.
I have spent the last seven days looking at newspapers and half expecting my face to be plastered on them, plagued with headlines like, Girl meets G Dragon at Coffee Shop! G Dragon fan tells all!
Impatience settles in my stomach while my eyes train on the door, waiting for her.
I am throwing back Irish Coffees like they are shots when it strikes me that she may not turn up at all.
And I'm not sure if that's a relief or not.
My throat runs dry when I hear the ding of the cafe door opening and when my eyes fall on her, my throat clogs up.
You
15th May
You have spent the past week pouring over pictures of BigBang, searching for something that would let you know that you are not going insane.
You scrutinize every poster of him on your wall, trying to work out if the mouth at that microphone was the same mouth that greeted you each Tuesday morning.
Today, when you arrive at the cafe, he is already there waiting for you.
You stare in at him through the cafe window before you go in, your eyes running up and down the length of him, searching for clues, trying to find something about him that gives him away; something that is decidedly G Dragon like.
His stature fits but that isn't enough. You need to see something that lets you know that what you think you saw, is indeed, what you saw.
Before you walk in, you suck in all the air you can.
Pushing through the door, you are hit with the strong wave of coffee.
You slide into the seat across from him and, trying to keep your voice as even as possible, say, "Morning."
You watch his adam's apple bob up and down in his throat.
Jiyong
15th May
I am nervous.
More nervous than I was the first time I spoke to her, and everytime after that.
More nervous than I was stood infront of 45 000 people and rapping my life away.
Her eyes are piercing into mine and it takes everything in me not to look away. But three seconds later, I chicken out and I am back to looking everywhere but her.
I am stripped down; there is nothing to hide behind, no smoke screen, no security, no microphone.
And I am scared.
"Morning." I finally say.
She lets out this high pitched nervous laugh I'd never heard before and my stomach clenches from the sound.
It is too late.
I have already lost he
r.I smile at her sadly and say quietly, "You're already changing."
"What?"
"How you are around me." I swallow, "You're different."
"Bad different?" Her eyes look big and pretty when she asks.
Yes, bad different, I think but don’t say.
Instead I shrug, "Just different."
After a moment of silence, she lets out this big breath of air and my eyes snap to hers immediately.
"If you're worried I'm gonna tell someone, don't be. Look," She pulls out her phone from her pocket and plants it down on the table, "here's my phone. Hold on to it this morning, that way you know I'm not telling anyone."
I watch as she pushes her phone towards me with her index finger until she stops, leaving it right there infront of my nose.
Then, I use my own index finger to slowly push it all the way back across the stretch of the table.
The remnants of a smile on my face, I say, "You keep it. It's okay."
Her eyes run over my face as she licks her lip, "I'm sorry."
"It's fine." I say quietly, even though it's not.
I know now that there is simply no way I will able be able to talk to a normal person who knows who I am without feeling very abnormal.
Then she shakes her head as if shaking off her nervousness. "Right, okay. Let's just start again."
I watch on curiously as she jumps up from her seat and slides her bag on to her shoulder. She heads straight out of the door and I find myself stretching my neck out to watch her walk across the length of the windows until she is completely out of sight.
I am so impatient that I start to count each second that goes by that she does not reappear for.
When I get to twenty-seven she reappears again.
She comes straight back in and sits right back down infront of me.
She sticks out her hand to me, "Hey, I'm ____, pleased to meet you."
For a second I am confused and then I realize what she is doing.It brings a smile to my lips.
I reach out and shake her hand, "Pleased to meet you, ____."
You
15th May
You spend the whole of your time together trying to keep him from feeling uncomfortable; you tip toe around him like a burglar tip toes around trip wires in case they set off an alert.
You side step any conversation route that could lead you to talk of his work.
You are babbling on about something stupid when you realize this is what he has been doing all this time.
Biding his time.
Trying not to slip up.
Talking about things that didn't mean anything because everything else meant too goddamn much.
Jiyong
15th May
I spend the whole of our time together waiting for her to break, to crack, to scream and shout like a fan, because...she is.
She is a fan and I am a celebrity and we are not playing the parts we are meant to be.
But for that, I am grateful.
I keep thinking she'll snap, ask me about BigBang, tell me she loves the new songs, tell me she loves me.
A barely-there smile forms on my lips at the last one. Just the idea of those words ever falling from her lips sets my heart on a race.
But...she doesn't.
She doesn't say any of those things.
Instead she asks me about what I do for fun. She asks me where I grew up. Where I went to school. If I'm close with my family.
It is like being interviewed, except about everything I'm never asked. It is refreshing.
I know what she is doing.
I know it is not a coincidence that she will not talk about work, or music, or celebrities with me. I know she's trying to keep me comfortable.
I appreciate that.
More than she realizes.
You
15th May
"I won't be able to be here next Tuesday...," You hear him say and look up to meet his eye.
You are surprised, stare at him with wide eyes, disappointment settling in the pit of your stomach.
It takes you a moment to realize that it isn't really that surprising at all.
Since he had revealed himself to you, you had known that there was some sort expiration date on this.
Whatever this is, you know that it cannot last forever.
Good things rarely ever do.
You sit there with dull eyes as you wait for his no doubt made up excuse.
"I'm busy with work."
And there it is.
This is his way of tying this off.
He sucks in his bottom lip and focuses on a point just above your head. You wonder why he can't look you in the eye.
Then his eyes shoot back to yours and he says, "But I still want to see you."
A chord strikes in your heart and you swallow, "What do you mean?"
"Well..," He seems to be struggling for words, "I'm busy all day but...at night...I should have time to see you."
You suddenly feel oddly shy. You nod, "Okay."
He winces, "But it would be pretty late."
You smile a little wider, "Define 'pretty late'?"
He licks his lips and takes in a breath, "Twelve."
You pretend to think it over in your head, but there's no thought needed.
"Sure."
You try to stop a grin from sneaking onto your lips.
Jiyong
15th May
This is crazy. I am crazy.
But she is normal.
But if my life is this crazy, maybe I could stand to have a little normal around....
This first installment is shorter than the others, as it more just an introduction to the story or a prologue I guess:) Hope you enjoy it
-Admin Kitty
Libby's Cafe was deadly quiet. It was early morning and the sun was breaking through the clouds and shining through the windows of the cafe. Dust danced in the light as the usual people took their usual places. There was Woo Jae Hee, the retired old woman who sat at the smallest table, close to the door, sipping her weak tea and saying good morning to everyone who passed her by. Mr Kim, the businessman with an important looking suit, who wolfed down currant tea cakes in only two bites before arriving late to work - again. And Mr Kwon, the builder with paint smeared overalls who called the waitress 'love' everyday and only drank pineapple juice. And last but not least, there was a young woman who always chose the same booth, old enough to know what she wanted but young enough to lose sleep over not achieving it; you.
8th March
You
You looked around the cafe at the usual three. Every week day you sat in the same spot, and every week day you marvelled at the quietness, the calmness of it all. No one spoke, as if to respect the morning time, coffee time, the start of the day. As a girl who spent her day at lectures, or at work, or with your phone constantly buzzing, you enjoyed the silence. It was if it was agreed in this place; quiet in the cafe, as if it were a library. But today, there was another's presence in the cafe; a scraping back of a different chair, a new order to be made.There was four. There was always four in Libby's cafe. But now, when you counted there was one, two, three, four...five.The man dressed in black. Simply dressed, but stylish all the same. He wore sunglasses and a hat.His presence unnerved you. It was as if, to you, the extra count in the cafe made the place seem crowded, as petty as it seemed.
However, it excited you a little. A new story to learn, a new character in the cafe.
Realising you had been staring, you quickly averted your eyes to Mr Kim, who had got currant tea cake in his moustache. You laughed quietly in your head and gave way to a small smile.
8th March
Jiyong
She is pretty. Before anything else I notice, she is pretty. Naturally so, as well. She is ordinary. It's not a criticism, but a thing I envy. She is...sweet. She wears her hair up, in a pony tail, like a child. But she isn't innocent, no. She has her head on her straight. She knows what she wants.But by the way she drums her fingers along the edges of her table, I can tell she is impatient. She doesn't have it yet, what she wants - she hasn't got it yet.
The whole group stops fighting and look over at you in Jaejoong’s hold. You see both Jiyong and T.O.P begin to lunge forward, but then you feel Jaejoong’s grip begin to tighten, almost choking you. The gun pointed at your head feels so cold right now.
“Stop everything if you want to see her live.” Jaejoong reminds them.
You then look at Taeyang, Daesung, and Seungri who stand behind Jiyong and T.O.P. All of their mouths are dropped and even Taeyang has his hand extended out, wanting to either reach out for you, or tell Jaejoong to not do it. Seungri looks pale as if he’s about to throw up.
You look over into Jiyong’s eyes and you actually see fear flash across them. You know what he’s thinking—he doesn’t know what to do and he has failed you. You don’t want him to feel this way at all. He’s not bad; he just has bad luck. You watch as he’s looking up at you regretfully, and mouthing, “I’m sorry.” You close your eyes and nod your head for the little bit you can.
“Okay,” Yunho says standing up and brushing the dirt off his suit like it’s no big deal.
The other members of DBSK do the same—they just shake off and dust that appeared on their outfits, or they just wipe off any blood on their face like it was nothing. The rest of Big Bang just stand there frozen, letting their faces become swelled and their bruises become blue.
“So, now that we’ve calmed down a bit and see how our actions have reactions, we want to talk about some things.” Yunho begins to pace back in forth in between you and the boys. Jaejoong’s grip is still locked in tightly.
“What things could you possibly want to talk about?” Jiyong is able to compose himself in this situation as he knows any attitude could provoke something unnecessary.
“We have some things we want you all to do if you want your little girl back.” Jaejoong whips you from side to side to make sure that they’re paying attention. You gasp a bit and grip onto Jaejoong forearm that’s wrapped in front of your neck.
“First off, we want you to speak to your little girlies of twenty-two, is it?” Yunho asks, keeping his hand resting on his chin.
“2NE1,” Changmin corrects.
“Ah, yes, 2NE1. We need you to speak to them and ask them to forfeit their competitions in those dance battles. Our wonderful friends of SNSD are sadly losing and we want them to win. The only way this can be done is if your little friends quit.”
Jiyong rolls his eyes and runs a hand through his soaking hair. “That’s their choice, not our—”
“Zip it, Kwon. I’m not finished,” Yunho snaps his fingers and continues his strides back and forth in front of the members. “So yes, make them quit, and you’ve completed the first task. Second job is to take down your cameras around the city.”
“What?!” Seungri yells, throwing his hands down at his sides in rebellion. Those cameras are like his babies—of course he’s not going to want to take them down. Plus, Big Bang won’t be able to keep an eye over the city anymore.
“Yes, take down those blasted cameras that have no business to be there. You’ve taken the best spots and we want them for ours. Besides, you really don’t take care of them, do you? Your equipment is so out-dated that we were able to block off reception in your mall using one of our advanced remotes. Our wonderful Jaejoong was able to slip in like it was a piece of cake.”
The side of Seungri’s face twitches in anger. You know he takes so much pride in his equipment, but, you’re thankful in a way that Seungri couldn’t be blamed for not knowing about the day Jaejoong came in to see you.
“Third thing, Jiyongie, I hear that you have been in contact with other gangs in the last two months or so to make them stop with the drug trafficking in our direction. Yeah… that’s not really flying by well with us.” Jiyong just flips the hair away from his face and doesn’t say anything in defense or opposition. “Good, I’m glad you understand.”
Your breathing has become heavy and you feel like you could pass out any second. The gun that is still pressed against your temple is keeping you awake and worried this whole time. You shut your eyes and do what you’ve been always told to do: you think of good and happy things. You block off the badness in front of you; you just don’t want to be scared anymore.
It’s things like warm cinnamon suns and iced cold drinks by a pool that make you relax a bit under Jaejoong’s grip. You even start to sing The Sound of Music’s “My Favorite Things” song in your head.
Raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. Brown paper packages tied up with string. These are a few of my favorite things~
Boys from the city and girls in a gang. Good chicken ramyun and a boy in Big Bang…
You’re so immersed in trying to not think about this dangerous situation that you didn’t hear what Yunho had proposed next. Whatever it was, it got the boys to start a commotion.
“Uh, uh, uh,” Yunho waves a finger in front of them. “What happened to listening and compromising?”
“It’s not a compromise if you’re taking away what you offered.” Jiyong’s voice is husky as you can now see the hot air escaping his lips in the cold.
“We just want her for a little bit, alright? Think like a shared prize.”
“We are not letting you have her!” T.O.P yells looking between you and Yunho.
Did Yunho just say that he wanted to have you?
“Well, why not?” Yunho turns in your direction, an evil smirk played on his lips. “She’s quite beautiful and looks… innocent and pure—if you know what I mean.” Yunho is in front of you as he twists a lock of your hair around his finger. His musky scent makes you want to draw away from him as quickly as possible.
You see T.O.P being held back by the members. In one swift motion, he releases himself from their grip and charges in your direction. Everything that happens after just seems to be played in slow motion.
As T.O.P is about to choke Yunho, Jaejoong releases the gun from your head and points it at T.O.P. You watch as Jaejoong pulls the trigger without thinking twice. You scream. T.O.P falls to the ground while clutching his upper arm in pain. The other boys run over to their fallen member. Jiyong hovers over T.O.P with tears in his eyes.
Dark blood begins to run out over T.O.P’s shirt, making a complete blob on his upper arm. Weirdly enough, you can only think of how that is going to be a bitch to get out when you do the laundry. His eyes are squeezed tightly and he’s grinding his teeth in pain. He makes no noises and this worries you.
“Yunho, you’re a sick monster!” Jiyong says ruthlessly.
Yunho scoffs and kneels down to Jiyong. “Not as sick as you can be,” he utters right into Jiyong’s face. “Let’s go, boys. We got ourselves a little pretty to take back.” Yunho snaps his fingers at once.
Large and white tape is stripped over your mouth and a dark cloth bag in place over your head. You try to call out for Jiyong, but it’s only muffled plea. You can feel rope being tied around your wrists so you can’t move them. You’re scared and you begin to silently cry. Even though you can’t see anything, you know the evil is still there. Closing your eyes and shutting out the world won’t work this time around.
“Try and follow us, and you’ll be in a far worse position than you’re little fighter here,” Yunho threatens the group and you feel yourself being lifted off the ground and thrown over someone’s shoulder.
As you’re taken away, Jiyong continues to sit there, looking at you and feeling so stupid and terrible. He broke a promise he always intended to keep.
A/N: Only five more chapters left! I know this one is short, but it's still obviously an important chapter. Anyways, thanks for reading! Feedback is greatly appreciated!
You’re in your room, lying on your bed, just staring up at your ceiling. You’re playing with the ring on your finger—turning it ‘round and ‘round for no particular reason. The apartment is really quiet—probably the quietest it’s ever been. You know you think this a lot, but, this time it does feel dead around here.
Daesung left a good hour ago. In that time frame, you’ve had much time to think.
You’ve hurt all of them.
You turn on your side, folding the pillow over your ears blocking out the noise in your head. It was obviously no use—you can’t escape the monsters living in there.
Stop thinking about it… you began the mantra again. Stop thinking. Everything’s fine. There’s nothing to worry about. Just stop thinking about it. Just please stop thinking.
A knock on your door breaks the silence on the outside, but can’t satisfy the voices in your head. You mumble an, “It’s open,” almost too inaudible to hear.
You mean it more than just for the person to walk through the door. You want them to come back into your life and comfort you—let you know that everything will be alright.
After moments of silence, you hear the door click open. You turn your head to see Jiyong poking his head out, being cautious.
“May I come in?” he asks permission.
You nod your head but turn your attention back on the wall. You feel him settle on the end of your bed; his body turned towards you. You keep silent because you’re scared of saying the wrong thing.
“I’m not mad~” he sings softly to make you feel better. You turn your head towards him and raise an eyebrow. “Okay, I’m not mad, but maybe a tad disappointed,” he says bringing his index finger close to his thumb, leaving only a millimeter or so of space to show his level of disappointment in you.
You turn back to the wall and curl yourself up more, feeling so small. “I really am sorry for lying.”
“I know.”
“And I’m sorry for causing more problems than there needs to be.”
“I know.”
“And I’m sorry for making you and T.O.P fight…”
“That’s not your fault—”
“And I’m sorry for being a nuisance around here. Maybe it would’ve been best if I had just not come here—”
“_______-ah!” Jiyong yells to make you stop talking. You clamp your mouth shut, hoping he understood how sorry you really were. Hopefully after apologizing a million times, he’d get the idea. “Stop saying sorry for things that are completely rubbish.”
You turn on your back to look at him. “But, really. I’ve caused so much trouble—”
His scoff makes you stop. “You may’ve caused a tad bit of trouble, but, we were going to deal with problems because of you or not. But, you did bring something positive into this household,” he leans towards you, slightly hovering over you. “As cliché it sounds, you’ve brought happiness. It’s been a while since I’ve seen the boys this happy—and it’s because of you. No matter how many times you want to deny it or replace it with your mistakes, that still won’t change the fact that you’ve made these weeks, or months I should say, some of the best we’ve had in a while. Gang life is demanding. But while you’re around… it doesn’t seem so bad. I certainly don’t feel so lonely anymore.”
You smile and he returns one of his own. He leans down and wipes a stray hair away from your forehead. Jiyong’s chest comes in contact with your arm. He’s so close again. He’s leaning in and you can feel that your heart is ready to thump out of your chest. Jiyong’s about to kiss you until you hear something vibrate from his pocket.
Not again…
He looks down at it and grunts in annoyance. He sits up in a sitting position and you do the same. Jiyong gets out his phone and brings it up to his ear.
“Hello?” His eyes are trained on your rug. “They really said that?!” You begin to feel concerned. “Dae, Dae, hold up. Wait a sec, what do they—” It’s Daesung on the other line and you begin to feel bad again. “Just stay there, man. We’ll be there in a few.” Jiyong hangs up and jumps off your bed. He begins to run through the hallway calling for the other members.
You swing you legs over and follow him, wanting to know what’s going on and if there’s any way you can help.
“Youngbae! Seungri-ah!!” he calls for them, his arm having a hold on the frame of the door.
“Yeah? What’s up?” Taeyang comes in from the kitchen and Seungri runs out from the living room. T.O.P slowly emerges out from one of the bedrooms to see what all the commotion is about.
“Dae called. We need to go meet up at the alley that meets near Sagwa and Beojkkoch Street. It should only take us maybe ten minutes if we hurry,” Jiyong explains while running around and looking for a jacket.
You know that alley—it’s the same one that T.O.P was getting beat up in when you first got involved with DBSK. It’s also the same alley where you saw those suspicious girls and where Yunho gave you the note. Surely, it had its own way of coming back into your life.
“Did he say what’s going on?” Seungri asks, slinging his own jacket over himself.
“He just said that they’re not compromising with anything. They almost beat him up, but they gave him a chance to call us.”
“What do we do about _________?” Taeyang asks nodding his head in your direction.
Jiyong stops fussing and looks over at you. He bites the bottom of his lip, not sure what he should do, really. You glance over at T.O.P who is also keeping a stare on you.
“She might have to come with us. Who knows what DBSK is going to do while we’re all gone. As weird as it is, she should join.”
“You’re crazy!” T.O.P interrupts, stepping forward. “What if something happens, huh? What are you going to do then?”
Jiyong pops the collar on the hood, giving a prideful look.
“I’m not going to let anything happen to her.”
With this, he walks past the members and heads towards the door. Seungri and Taeyang quickly follow behind, leaving you and T.O.P alone together in the hallway.
“At least let me escort you and protect you while we’re there,” he asks of you, those eyes begging for your permission. You’ve come to realize you have missed T.O.P, but, things can never go back to how they used to be. They just can’t.
You nod your head and he lets you lead. He keeps a watchful eye on you the whole time which makes you more self-conscious than protected really.
It’s gotten strangely dark in the short amount of time. There’s something about the city at night that can be either magical or creepy. Now, it’s definitely the latter (and you can blame DBSK for that).
You pass by empty cars and much litter, feeling like you could be in the scene of a horror film. Even though the three others are still a good distance in front of you, you know you’re getting close. All you know is that the alley near your favorite market will never be looked at the same way again.
Once you all round the corner, enough light is given and you see Changmin clutching the front of Dae’s shirt, lifting him a little up in the air where he is on his toes.
“Hey, guys! Beautiful night, huh?” Daesung asks cheerily even in his situation; even waving.
Right when you see Jaejoong, you stagger back a bit. It’s those eyes and they way they seem to penetrate into your soul. You absolutely hate it. You bump into T.O.P’s chest where he throws you behind his back and holds onto you as you move with the others.
A thin smile is played on Yunho’s face—almost like gratification. But for what?
“Ah, T.O.P-ssi, you have returned. We really missed you, you know. Incheon isn’t like Seoul, is it?”
T.O.P begins to lunge forward, but Taeyang and Seungri stop him. Incheon? That’s definitely not very far at all. It makes you a little sad that he was so close, and yet, so far away.
“Yunho.” Jiyong’s voice is calm; strictly business. “What’s the problem here?”
Yunho scoffs and plants his hands into his pockets. “You know very well, Jiyongie. You always ask for peace and this and that, but we’re tired of it. You sent your little messenger here to tell us to get away from you all, but we haven’t done anything wrong—”
“Lies!” T.O.P shouts.
Jiyong lifts his hand up to tell T.O.P to cool it down. “You know very well that you’ve been bothering a friend of ours.”
“Oh, she’s just a friend?” Yunho asks in a sing-song-y voice and eyeing you up and down. “I think she’s more than that. I think she’s the Big Bang slut.”
T.O.P is about to pounce forward at Yunho, but the other members hold him back again. You look to see that Jiyong has his own tension on his face, but, he’s able to hold it together better than T.O.P can.
“Don’t you say that about her!” T.O.P can’t even seem to keep control.
“Cool it, T.O.P,” Jiyong warns.
“Oh, yes, cool it T.O.P,” Yunho imitates Jiyong. “But, Mr. GD, we really know how you’re feeling now. We’re actually fairly surprised that you are able to hold it in this well. Years of practice?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” T.O.P growls out again.
A scoff escapes from Yunho’s lips; an expression of great pride is still painted on so clearly. “You don’t know? That’s so tragic! Perhaps we are living in an episode in one of those dramas?” Yunho begins to say. You start to wonder if this “genius” persona he carries is really mistaken for “manic.” “You surely have a right to know; especially you, T.O.P. Your little leader here has been keeping a secret from all of you. While you were away, your leader has fallen in love with your former girl. And guess what the fun part is?” he takes simple steps towards you and T.O.P. His arms are crossed and he leans forward towards T.O.P. “She’s fallen in love with him back,” he says lowly into T.O.P’s face.
You’re hurt because it’s true. While you once loved T.O.P with everything you had, all those feelings are gone. It is evident that T.O.P hasn’t felt any different, but not the same can be said for you. It’s true that you’ve fallen in love with Jiyong. There’s no more denying it anymore.
But, you find relief in the thought that Jiyong has fallen in love with you. Was it impossible, no, but unlikely? You thought it was. Were all your suspicions of him liking you were actually true? All the staying up late with you and taking you out to lunch on impulse were signs that he likes you? Now you know you weren’t just having a wishful thinking.
At the news of this, T.O.P swings a punch into Yunho’s face. You’re not sure that if he’s angry that one of his members has fallen for you, or if it’s the other way around. Most likely, it’s the latter.
You’re thrown back by one of the members and a full on battle unleashes in front of your eyes. Fists fly left and right and you back yourself up against the brick wall. You can feel the coldness admit off it and hit your back, but that was nothing compared to the sweat you felt running down your face and your neck.
Your eyes start to well up as you see each of the members being punched in the face or gut. You almost wanted to run over and save Seungri when he received an uppercut from Changmin. It may’ve hurt you more that you can’t do anything but just stand there and watch.
Jiyong gets kicked in the stomach but soon comes back by pouncing on top of Yoochun. You’ve never seen him look this vengeful—it does scare you a bit. You promised that you wouldn’t be scared of Jiyong, but seeing him like this, it makes you a bit fearful of that person that he’s able to harbor inside of himself.
Grunts echoed out from every single person’s mouth, emulating the pain that they were causing on each other. You wanted to run away but found your legs to feel paralyzed. T.O.P receives a devastating kick to his chest that sends him falling hard onto the pavement. His head shoots up, there is blood running down the side of his face. His teeth clench in anger and he staggers as he stands up.
You watch as Taeyang and Daesung’s bodies seem to be whipped back and forth as they lose balance from each blow. When you see Daesung throw a sharp jab into Junsu’s chin, you look away. You just can’t watch these friendly boys who have become like your brothers, just show this intense side of them.
You slowly side step away from the building to get away—you just can’t do it anymore. All of a sudden, a human arm clutches around your neck and pulls you into their body. You make a sound that is a cross between a squeal and a gasp. A cold and metallic rectangle is pushed into the side of your head, and you feel like the air had just been knocked out of your system.
“Stop or else she’s gone!” Jaejoong yells from behind you. He leans down to your ear and whispers almost cynically, “Don’t worry, beautiful. I’ll take good care of you.”
It’s crazy how you could develop feelings so quickly—it’s almost scary. You and G-Dragon, er, Jiyong. Jiyong! You and Jiyong have gotten close in the last few weeks (it’s still weird for you to call him this). Lunch breaks were regular, you both always talked and joked during dinner, and he would regularly help you with your writing homework. (Math, not so much.) Thankfully, in about a month, the semester will be over and done with.
A couple nights ago, you even fell asleep with your head on his lap while watching a movie…
“Come on, Ji. This movie isn’t that good,” you said sitting with your legs criss-crossed on the couch while your eyes were slowly dropping.
You were both alone in the living room as the other three members decided to go to bed early. Jiyong didn’t want to be alone, so he asked you if you wanted to watch a movie with him. You didn’t know that you were stuck watching some crappy TV-made movie. You weren’t even sure what it was about! There was something about a farmer and his dog, but you weren’t really paying attention.
“You’re only saying that because you’re not really watching. You’re too busy talking.”
You pouted and pulled the sleeves of your hoodie over your hands, trying to be a little warmer. The weather had changed so drastically these days as you were in the mid to end of autumn. Some days would be warm and nice, while others would be chilly, making you wear many layers or sweaters.
“I’m only talking because the movie is so boring~” you swayed your body in a circle, looking like this movie was making you go mad.
“It’s not boring!” he tried to defend it. “You must be tired or something. Did you get enough sleep last night?”
You looked down in embarrassment—you were too swamped with some last minute papers that you needed to submit by six in the morning or else they would be counted as late. You just couldn’t afford that.
“Come on,” he leaned over and grabbed the pillow from behind you. He then smoothed it out and set in on his lap. He then tapped on it, gesturing you to lie down.
You brought in your lips in to form a line, thinking about it. Yes, Jiyong is your friend, but you’ve never been this intimate with him—just hugs and holding hands so you didn’t get separated in a crowd.
He waited for you and eventually, you slowly lied down on the couch, letting your head rest on his thigh while your legs were tucked in. He put a comforting hand on your arm, keeping you close to him. You still faced the television, but that was the last thing you could think of at a moment like this.
While you both watched the movie—or rather while he watched the movie—his hand moves from your arm to your head. He began to run his hands through it ever so softly. His fingers dig into the mass of hair and start to massage your scalp. You loved the feeling so much that it rocked you to sleep.
When you awoke the next morning, you had a blanket draped over you and you were still lying on Jiyong’s lap. He propped himself up with elbow that was on the arm rest. His free hand had a hold back on your arm, keeping you protected and secure.
You had fallen back asleep, snuggling up next to him a little more, wanting to keep him warm. (Plus, you loved the feeling of cuddling next to him) When you awoke the second time, he was no longer there.
You heard Jiyong’s voice in the kitchen, along with a nagging Seungri, asking when breakfast would be ready. When Jiyong walked into the living room to check up on you, he smiled when he saw that you were awake and well-rested… even with terrible bed-head from his hands.
“I’m glad you’re up. I’m making breakfast!” he said cheerily, making you grin in return.
Moments like these were scaring you. It wasn’t Jiyong that scared you or anything (he never did before), it’s just how quickly all this came to you. There was something so compelling about him that made it easy for you to fall for his smiles, his laughs, those lip bites… everything.
Every time you tell yourself you’re moving too fast, you’d make up an excuse to allow yourself to. But, he’s so nice, and he cares about me… He really is cute, and he listens so well… I haven’t felt this way in a while… It was a dumb game to play, but it settled your guilt of falling in love too quickly.
It’s around noon and you’re just doing homework in your room; nothing special or important—just work that you wanted to get a head start on, so it wouldn’t haunt you later. The boys are all around the house doing their daily chores so you don’t have to.
You lie on your stomach, tapping your pencil on the book, letting your mind skim through the works of some old Korean philosophers. Fun, right?
A knock comes at your door and you call for the person to come in. Emerging from the hallway is a timid Jiyong, sticking his tongue out at you as he enters through.
“Hey, what’s up?” you ask, getting up from your position to a sitting one and letting a leg hang over the edge of the bed.
“Nothing much; I just realized that I haven’t seen the final product of your room weirdly enough.”
You smile and look around with him. “It’s very beautiful. Thank you so much for helping out with it. I really do like it a lot,” you say honestly. Everyday you’re still amazed at how beautifully it turned out.
He begins to blush and your heart leaps at this. Too fast; you’re moving too fast, you remind yourself. But your heart screams that it’s not too fast. It’s how love is.
“I’ve just always been good with colors.”
“Leader, writer, and designer? Is there anything you can’t do?” you ask while pointing your index finger to your cheek in a cute way.
He shrugs his shoulders and kicks at the ground a bit. “I’m sure there’s a few things, but, I won’t know until I try.”
He walks over to your closet to inspect inside. You don’t have many items in there. A few sweaters and shirts, but, overall it’s a little scarce. You probably should’ve packed more when you came but if you desperately needed to, you could probably go back and get more clothes.
“You really don’t have much in here,” he observes.
“Most of it is still back at home,” you explain to him.
He turns and makes an apologetic face before staring back into the closet. “You know…” he begins before turning to you—his face looking like he’s come up with an idea. “If you want to, I would be honored to take you clothes shopping. I know this area that has some nice stuff that I think would look great on you.”
“You would really do that?” you ask, finding it sweet that he would do this with you.
He nods his head and makes a movement towards you. “So, my lady, can I escort you out today?” he asks bowing and staying there with his hand held out for you.
You laugh and put your hand in his. “It would be my pleasure.”
It’s an absolute beautiful and warm day. The weatherman said it was supposed to be like this all weekend, which makes you feel really happy. To be honest, you’re sweating a little from your sweater… or for the fact that Jiyong is holding your hand through this again, but you still like to blame it on the sweater.
He has decided to take you a few miles away from the city and into a small town. It’s a very cute town—they have a clock tower, a park with the colorful leaves spread all over the lawns, and cute little shops along the main road. Everyone around here looks rich and sophisticated—you like this change of scenery. It’s not scary or threatening, but rather peaceful. You don’t have to worry about any enemies—you only need to worry about how much you are going to spend because you want to buy everything!
You both pass by a cute dog shop with puppies in the windows. They clawed away at the glass and you could see them yelping.
“Ji, come look!” you say excitedly while pulling him over to the window with you.
The both of you fawn over a cute Shar Pei puppy who waddles his way back and forth in front of you.
“Isn’t he adorable~?” you scratch the glass lightly with your index finger, thinking the puppy is to die for.
“He surely looks sweet,” Jiyong comments while waving at him with a huge grin on his face. The fact that he’s really interested in the dog warms your heart. “One day, I’m going to get a little guy just like him.”
A small Boston terrier runs his way over to the Shar Pei and begins to play with it, making you practically fan-girl over puppies.
“Aigoo! They’re just so cute!” you bring your fist up to your lips, trying to hold back the largest smile in the world. “I bet they could be best friends.”
“I think so too. Maybe I could convince Taeyang to get this little guy.”
You grin at his idea, thinking it would be fun to have some puppies running around the house.
“Come on, jagiya. We need to say goodbye to our new friends now,” Jiyong tells you.
He slips that title in there so smoothly; so effortlessly, it was like it belonged to you this whole time. It makes you feel good that he had called you that—a name shared by only couples. That really did mean something, right? You didn’t care if he was saying it in a joking way—you were going to shape your own reality anyways.
There are many shops on the street and for you to hit most of them would take a lot of time. You pout but wave goodbye to the sweet things, thinking how they made your day.
You enjoy walking with Jiyong in the sunshine, just talking about various things. You find that communicating with him is like second-nature. You talk, he listens, and then you both switch roles—it’s pretty simple and enjoyable.
His grip on your hand is soft. It’s almost natural for your hand to be in his now. It’s now become a normal thing for you to hold hands which you like a lot.
“Here,” Jiyong says pointing to a store with a cute mint green door and a hot pink sign with a cupcake on it. In the windows, there are cute spring dresses and sweaters in pastel colors. “Let’s look in here.”
He tries to pull you along, but you resist a bit. “Dresses? It’s going to be freezing soon, and you think I should buy some dresses?”
“Every girl deserves a couple of beautiful dresses,” he says pulling you along. “Besides, you could always wear cute leggings, boots, and a cardigan over it.”
He did make a good point.
He leads you into the store and it’s very cute. It’s a little classier than “Dragon’s Flair,” but still has a cute style. Jiyong helps pick out some dresses for you to wear, even finding some that will look good in the colder season.
As you were trying on a pale blue dress with layers of ruffles and a crème sweater, Jiyong went off in the store, making his own adventure.
While you were preoccupied in the changing area, he was drawn to the display of necklaces on the wall. There were some ranging in all different sizes, colors, types of jewels—there were so many options. His eyes scanned over all of them, looking to buy you one because he wanted to.
He liked you too.
Yes, he was doing all this to be nice but there was more to the story. The feelings he had for you were not exactly the same as he had for Dara, but the basics were there. His heart would pound when he heard your laugh or saw you smile, and just the thought of you made him feel almost infinite. He couldn’t believe that T.O.P, his own member, his own friend, could leave a girl like you. It was brave, but it was also a sacrifice.
Jiyong didn’t intend on falling for you; it just happened. The more he talked with you, the more he liked you. You weren’t scared of him or judged him in any way. You made him feel important; you made him feel special. That was enough to make him realize how great a person you are and how he wants to have you. He wants to have you.
There was one necklace hanging on the end of all the others that looked a little out-of-place, but seemed to be the one he was looking for. It was a plain chain, nothing special or anything. On the end of it, was a small butterfly pendant. The butterfly’s wings were made up of Amethyst while the form itself had matched the silver of the chain. He smiles at it, thinking of you wearing it and how it matched you—a delicate butterfly wanting to spread its wings. In the small time when you were struggling with trying to get the straps of the dress on, he purchases it secretly and keeps it in his pocket.
“Ji?” you call out, walking out of the dressing room, clutching the fabric of the dress.
He turns his head and smiles with this bottom lip caught in his teeth. He strides over, looking up and down at you and your outfit. Your cheeks redden as you’re not used to guys looking at you like he does. His face can only be described as a man wanting something he shouldn’t.
“You-you look beautiful,” he practically gasped. He puts his fist over his mouth and clears his throat. “I mean, you look really nice.”
“You think so?” you tilt your head at him.
“Yeah, I really do.”
Jiyong ended up buying you many cute sweaters and a couple of cute dresses that were suitable for the autumn and the winter. At first, you were going to purchase yourself that one outfit, but later, it became a dispute as he was going to pay AND get you more clothes. This small debate went on for a good ten minutes before you just gave up.
He just smiled at your defeat and said as a way to repay him, you had to wear one of the outfits out of the store. You ended up wearing a cute silver dress with long lace sleeves and a black cardigan with bows on it.
As you walked out of the store, you were a little embarrassed to wear it – you weren’t used to wearing dresses. You stood on the steps of that shop, just feeling a little out of place in your dress. Jiyong made his way down the steps with your bags in his hands but stops upon seeing that you’re not next to him. He turns to look at you.
“Something wrong?” he asks sincerely.
“I’m just not used to this,” you answer.
“Not used to dresses?”
You shrug your shoulders. “That… and someone doing something like this for me. T.O.P never really did this,” you admitted, feeling pretty for once.
T.O.P was always a little too shy to do this with you and even though you probably would’ve protested, a part of you would be begging for him just to ignore your stupid complaints. Doing this for once felt really nice.
Jiyong looks at the ground for a second before taking your hand, his fingers playing with the ring on your finger. “I’m glad I can do this with you.” He then leads you down the steps so you’re next to him. “Come on, I want to show you something important to me.”
Jiyong leads the way down the block that’s away from the shop-life. The air is getting a bit cooler and grey clouds start to loom over-head. Taking a deep breath, you can smell that moist and metallic scent that you’re very used to—you can tell it’s going to rain. You furrow your eyebrows as, yet again, the weatherman lied about the forecast.
“It’s going to rain soon,” you say looking above at the sky.
Jiyong looks up and notices the clouds. “You can tell by the clouds?”
“By the scent,” you correct.
“The scent?”
“I can smell when it’s going to rain.”
He releases a small chuckle and squeezes your hand. “Let’s hope it doesn’t rain too much on our parade.”
He continues to hold you close to him. When you pass by a group of guys who seem to be staring at you, Jiyong shakes his hand out of yours and puts it around your shoulder protectively.
“Are they also gang members?” you whisper to him when you pass them, glancing back to see that they’re still staring.
“No. They’re just looking because you’re really pretty.”
A few blocks away from the town is an area that’s not so great and dandy. Some of the houses are boarded up and don’t look like their landscaping is really taken care of. Your heart breaks when you pass by a house with a stuffed bear dressed in dirt just sitting on a stair case leading to a patio.
He turns into a cemetery that is misting over with fog a little. The whole scene looks like it came out of a Halloween movie.
“Why are we here?” you ask, bringing your body closer to Jiyong’s.
He pulls you tighter and rests his lips near your temple, causing shivers to go down your spine. “We’re going to visit my parents…”
Farther down the dirt path are two tombstones, each engraved with a heart pattern and names with the last name of Kwon. On each are engraved: Parent of Dami and Jiyong.
Your heart aches at the sight. You didn’t know anything about Jiyong’s family. Just like how it was with T.O.P—it wasn’t your place. You’ve tried to treat Jiyong with patience, and never did you try to ask him anything personal. You’ve now come to this new level with Jiyong.
He lets go of your hand and takes slow strides to the stones. He kneels in front of them, bowing for a few seconds, then straightening up to just stare at them. You stand behind him, keeping your own head bowed in respect.
“It was a rainy night…” he begins, letting his hand glide over the smooth stones. “They were coming home from the theater after seeing some bizarre musical. Coming straight on was a drunk driver going twice the speed he was supposed to. They didn’t have a chance. I was eleven then. They had jobs, but they weren’t enough to give me everything I needed; it didn’t matter though; I still loved them so much. My sister and I bounced around between relatives all the time. Yeah, they loved me, but, it wasn’t stable. After my sister left for college, I just felt lonely. There’s a difference you know: alone and lonely. You can be alone and still feel important to somebody, but being lonely… that’s one of the worst feelings in the world.”
You knew that exact feeling. Loneliness is when no one understands you and you feel helpless. Like, you’re going through something by yourself and you feel out-of-touch with reality. It’s almost abnormal in a complex way. But he was right; it’s one of the worst feelings ever.
“Since I didn’t have my sister to guide me, I just sort of went off on my own… met some bad people, did some bad things… before I knew it, I was a bad boy. I didn’t mean to, but it just… happened. My parents would probably be disappointed in the things I’ve done or gotten into. But, that’s why I’m so protective of everyone. I really don’t have a family anymore, so those that are still around and are like my family… I try to keep them safe and with me. I just don’t want to be lonely anymore. That tends to happen to bad boys.”
You take the steps necessary over to him and crouch down beside him. You place your hand on his shoulder to let him know that everything was going to be okay.
“I don’t think you’re as bad as you think you are,” you say lowly, just loud enough for him to hear.
His other hand crosses over his chest so he can hold yours that is on his shoulder. You hear him mutter a, “Thanks.”
He bows one more time and does the sign of the cross before standing up. He then faces you and locks eyes. His gaze is intense and yet, warming. You never knew the two could be combined. For someone who has gone through so much pain and suffering in his life, his expression shows him being gentle.
You feel a wet drop hit your cheek. One drop becomes two, two become five, and soon enough, you and Jiyong are standing in the rain together. He takes your hands in his and continues to keep this hold on you that you know is way too strong to just be a part of your imagination.
Jiyong brings your hands together and pulls them up towards his lips. He holds them gently in his and releases a temperate breath into them, keeping them warm. You swear that your face has become warmer than your hands at this point.
He exhales and takes a step towards you, closing the gap a bit. He begins to bring his face forward, his eyes now trained at your lips.
Your heart starts to flutter and you unconsciously squeeze his hands as if he’s making you feel like it’s a dream. Your breathing becomes heavy as if you forgot how to this whole time.
You’re becoming drenched from the rain, but Jiyong doesn’t seem to care. His rough hand slips out of yours and cups your face gently. His calloused thumb gently traces your cheek bone. You are able to perfectly see the rain drops run down the side of his cheek and drip off his chin. He is so close. Slowly but surely, his lips start coming closer to yours.
You really didn’t like doing school work. Like, really, who does? But surprisingly to you, the online classes weren’t as bad as you thought. Everything was done electronically—you email your assignments and then you take the timed tests or quizzes that your professors sent using a special program.
Although you loved being home to do the work, you miss the “university feel” of actually being in the lecture hall and being surrounded by students just like you. A little part of you felt like you were missing out (just a wee part) but you figured some sacrifices just have to be made. At least you weren’t blowing money on coffee at the cafés anymore—you had a coffee maker here that could do that for you for half the price!
You were given the nights off for this purpose, but you usually never followed through. Instead of doing something fun, you stayed home to finish up some assignments and papers that were due by the weekend. You don’t know how it all just piled up at this last moment, but it did. You were struggling with writing a paper in for your Creative Writing class—this kind of stuff never came naturally to you.
You couldn’t ask the boys for help because they had left to go shopping to find new items and paints for your room.
“________-ah, what’s your favorite color?” Daesung had asked while leaning over the chair you were curled up on.
You looked up from your book and shrugged your shoulders. “I don’t know.”
He laughed and shook his head. “What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I-I guess I just never thought about it.”
“Well, how do you feel about blue?”
“Blue is a nice color, I guess.”
“Is pale blue fine?”
“Pale blue is perfect.”
Daesung smiled and ruffled your hair before skipping his way into the kitchen where you heard him pass on your color choice to Taeyang, and then asking if that was okay.
A few minutes later, the three boys walked in all with their coats on, looking like they were ready to leave somewhere. You were worried that they would have to go out and do some gang business which happened on average, about twice a week. The one night you had to help Seungri clean up a large cut he received on his jaw.
“Where are you boys headed?” you asked tucking your book away as you just finished the chapter.
“We’re going to go shopping!” Seungri answered excitedly as if he’d never been to the mall before. His face beams even with the large bandage across his jawbone.
“What kind of shopping?”
“Decorating shopping!”
You tilted your head, not sure what he meant by that. Taeyang quickly picked up on your confusion.
“Since you’ll be with us for a while, we’re going to go shopping to get paint and decorations for your room. Maybe even real bed covers while we’re at it.”
You laughed as you remembered you’re still sleeping with just the one sheet and blanket in a depressing room. “Is this why you asked my favorite color?” you now started to make the connections.
“Again, she’s so smart!” Daesung said, extending his arms out in your direction.
“Would you like to come with us?” Taeyang asked while adjusting the collars on his coat.
You glanced over at your textbooks that were on the coffee table in front of you and then you shook your head, remembering you had loads of work.
“Let’s make it a surprise. I have a lot of work to do and it’s all due in a couple of days. I kind of have to make up for all the times I slacked off.”
“Okay, that’s fine. If you’re hungry, there are hot pockets in the freezer,” Taeyang reminded you before heading out the door with the other two, chatting away at the ideas that they had for your room.
You did enjoy that hot pocket like it was the greatest thing in the world before you forced yourself to sit down and get some work done, which wasn’t as easy as you thought. You were supposed to write about something you know very well. The problem is—you don’t know what you know.
You groan and crumple up another piece of paper and add it to the pile of paper snowballs that were growing on the corner of the table. You try writing about the different types of teas and coffees in the world as you had some experience with them at your former job, but, it just wasn’t stimulating enough to hold your attention. You try re-writing the last line you wrote, but you stop when you hear a sound.
It was a door opening. It wasn’t the front door, but a door somewhere in the hallway. There was only one other person in the apartment that it could be—G-Dragon.
You straighten your seating position and your heart races as the steps come in your direction. You weren’t sure if you should run or hide, or just do nothing. They never taught you this kind of thing in school.
Emerging from the entry way was a petit man with bags under his eyes and exhaustion planted over his face. His dark and short hair looked greasy and disheveled, and his expression was bleak. He wore plaid red pajama pants and a simple white tee-shirt with a pair of thick-rimmed black glasses resting on the bridge of his nose—he seriously looked like he just got out of bed and kind of reminded you of how Seungri looked when you first met him. So this was the mighty leader of Big Bang?
He doesn’t acknowledge that you’re in the kitchen and he makes his way over to the coffee machine. You slouch in your seat a bit as if to try and make yourself blend in with the surroundings as you were the last one to make coffee and not refill it.
The interesting thing is that you can’t stop staring at him as he makes coffee. He was very good looking and you felt this was the only time you could really analyze him before he would disappear forever again. Though, you do feel bad as he looks like he’s in a semi-rough condition. Your instincts make you want to help him in some way.
“Are you hungry?” you pipe up and then furrow your eyebrows as you can’t believe you actually said something out loud.
You didn’t expect what happened next.
With his back still turned to you, you saw him look up and stare at cabinet in front of him for a moment. His shoulders were set back and from your angle, you could see the sharp outline of his jaw. His head then turns to the side and then nods a few times, confirming your question.
You smile and stand up to get away from your papers and you start searching on what to make him. You rummage through the cabinets and you really don’t find much, sadly. Taeyang was right; you all needed to go grocery shopping and badly. You settle on a can of tomato soup and you figure that you could make him some grilled cheese too.
He stays quiet the whole time and takes a seat at the table where you are working, looking over what you have written so far. When you finish cooking, you bring the bowl of soup and the plate with the grilled cheese over to him, feeling the butterflies in your stomach go crazy as you get close to him.
“Well, I hope you enjoy,” you say excitedly.
“Thank you,” a murmur escapes his lips before he begins digging in, acting like it was his first time eating in days.
“You’re welcome.” You take your seat across from him again, and sigh as you don’t know how to continue with your paper. You could discuss the type of teas there are, or where coffee had originated, but you weren’t sure if there should be a more organized pattern going on.
G-Dragon exhales loudly and you look up in his direction. He’s staring at you with the same blank expression on his face that he had when he walked in.
“I just…” he begins saying but then stops himself as he tries to pick his words carefully. You enjoy the sound of his voice—it’s different. “I just want to apologize for not doing what I was supposed to do, and that’s look after you. If T.O.P was here, he’d be disappointed that I’m not doing what I promised.”
“It’s okay,” you mutter and tap your pen against the table. “You probably have a lot of work, huh?”
“Yeah,” he scoffs and turns his head, looking away from you. “A lot of work.”
He stands up and takes his empty dishes over to the dishwasher and loads them in quietly. You try to get back to doing work, but still find it impossible. Instead of going back to the room, GD grabs a cup of coffee and takes the seat across from you again.
“Speaking of work,” he pipes up. “How is work going for you? Have the girls been nice to you?”
You can tell he’s concerned and you appreciate that. But, you’re not sure if he’s mentioning this because of what happened with Jaejoong that one night. It seems like that whole situation was a distant memory drawn in dull charcoal—it was faded and almost no longer real.
“Work is going great. 2NE1 has been really nice to me. Heck, Big Bang has been amazing as well.”
He purses his lips in a cute pout while nodding his head. He seems to be thinking about something else. “How’s Dara?”
Ah, so that’s what he really wants to know.
“She’s doing great. She’s happy and healthy and all is well—”
“She’s dating again, right?” he interrupts and keeps this sorrowful stare on you.
You’re caught off guard but you nod your head. “Yeah, his name is Junsung and he seems nice,” you say and straighten up a bit. It feels rather odd to be telling GD this; was it even okay that you know about him and his past?
“Good,” he says simply and then looks over at your papers. “So, you didn’t go out shopping with the boys?” he observes.
“No, I have too much homework to do which is pretty much kicking my butt right now.”
He stays silent for a moment, and brings in his bottom lip. His eyes are fixed on the balls of paper.
“I could help you,” his voice cracks and then he clears his throat. “I could help you with your paper… I mean.”
“Are you good at writing?”
“I’ve had some experience.”
You smile and turn your paper around for him to see what you have written so far. His eyes scan the page carefully, reading every word and trying to understand it all.
“You sound like you know a lot about coffee,” he observes setting the paper down. “But, you don’t seem to be passionate about it.”
“I guess working with it for a long time makes you lose passion.”
“It could, but it can do the opposite too.” He crumples up your paper and adds it to the pile nonchalantly. “What’s the assignment?” He asks leaning his arms on the table in front of him.
“Write about something you know.”
“And what do you know?”
“Nothing.”
He smirks and shakes his head. “Impossible. You must know a lot of things.”
“I guess I know some things.”
“Like what?”
“I know what it’s like to work in a store. I know what it’s like to be a university student…”
“Do you know anything that has really affected you greatly? Something interesting or unique?”
Your mind instantly goes back to T.O.P once again. You haven’t been thinking about him as much as you thought you would, so that’s good. But would be writing a paper about a bad break up be a good idea? What would your professor think when he finds out that you are inadvertently involved with the gang life?
“Would it be appropriate to write about what happened with me and T.O.P?”
GD shrugs his shoulders. “How did it make you feel?”
“Terrible.”
“Did it make you angry?”
“Yeah.”
“Did he make your heart feel like it shattered into pieces?”
“Yeah.”
“Did he make you feel alone?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Did he hurt you and make you wonder what kind of person you are worth?” You begin to wonder if this paper really is going to be about you and T.O.P anymore as GD seems to be hinting things about himself.
“…Yeah.”
He holds a small stare with you. “You seem to know a lot about it. I think it’ll be perfect.”
Surprisingly, G-Dragon helps you a lot. He shows you how to use adjectives to their advantages and when detail is appropriate. He also lets you borrow many metaphors that he created himself. But, then again, if those poems you found that day were his, then this talent was so natural for him.
It’s weird, but you feel oddly comfortable with him. Like this is all normal. Like this is something that you have been doing with someone you have known your whole life. Again, it’s normal.
“Okay, so you just wrote two paragraphs describing this situation with you trusting someone and being in love with him, and then how he just left you without consulting you. Next, write something about how this made you feel. Make the reader feel your pain,” GD advises.
You try your best to convey all your shattered feelings onto the paper. Writing about something and actually going through it are obviously two separate things. You work hard to try to connect the two together.
“Here, how is this?” you pass the paper for him to look over.
He rests his long fingers on his lips as he looks over what you had written. “Good,” he says passing it back to you. “And, I’m sorry.”
“For what?” You’re not sure what he’s apologizing for.
“For what went down with T.O.P-hyung and you. But, he’s doing it because he cares about you, you know.”
When your paper is finished, he stays in the kitchen with you, and you both just talk about random things—like how acquaintances chat (you’re not quite in the “friends” stage yet, but you’re getting there). You try to stay away from the topics of gangs and his past though.
“So Rome, New York City, and Tokyo are the places you would want to visit one day?”
He nods his head, giving a radiant smile that you find yourself falling in love with—maybe more than Daesung’s. There’s a child-like nature to his smile that shows off his innocence that is typically unexpected. It’s rather cute.
“Yeah. I think those places are quite beautiful. Don’t you want to one day travel the world and just escape what you’ve always known?”
“We went over this; I don’t know what I know.”
He chuckles and you find yourself smiling at it. “Again, I think you know a lot. But, where would you like to travel one day?”
“Anywhere.” You shrug your shoulders. “Anywhere but here,” you answer, running your fingers through your hair, trying to be careful not to snag on any tangles.
“We’ll run away together one day,” he comments while turning the coffee cup in his hands delicately.
“You promise?”
He takes a chug of his lukewarm coffee and makes a face at it. “I’ll try my best.”
The front door opens, and you and G-Dragon turn your head to the noise of chatting men. Your heart starts to beat quickly as you wonder what the boys will think of this situation.
The three of them walk in and look surprised to see GD out with you and actually looking sociable. They all hold large bags in their hands—they must’ve had an adventure for sure.
“H-hyung. What are you doing here?” Daesung asks, seeming shocked a bit. Seungri and Taeyang’s faces match the question.
“He lives here,” Seungri points out the obvious.
“Wow, I never knew that,” Dae says sarcastically while rolling his eyes.
“I was helping _______-ah with her homework,” GD answers simply.
“Ah, helping noona with her homework~” Seungri sings as if he’s caught on to a secret even though there isn’t one. This made Daesung and Taeyang irritated, and made you and GD feel awkward.
“So, you guys found everything you were looking for?” GD asks looking at the large bags.
“Yep. I think we got the essentials down of what a woman’s room has,” Taeyang answers.
Daesung laughs at this statement. “You say this, but you were the only one who had no clue what you were doing.”
“I caught on,” he says to Daesung. “But, we’ll be setting up so keep working on your homework!” he calls while waddling down the hallway and struggling to carry the heavy bags.
“Work hard!” Seungri yells before turning on his heel and following his hyungs.
GD releases a chuckle and then stands up with his coffee mug. “Those guys,” you catch him mutter under his breath. He makes his way towards the hallway, but stops for moment to turn to you. “Um, _______,” he calls and rubs the back of his neck.
“Yes?”
“I just want…” he sighs and makes a face of uncertainty. “I just want to let you know that I’m going to try and do a better job… of taking care of you and all.”
“Thanks,” is all you can say before GD walks out of the kitchen and over to his room again. You don’t hear his door close.
