#gender experiences

[columbossluttywaist]

something that feels almost taboo as a trans man is being able to personally relate to aspects of womanhood. remembering life when you were still a girl. I mean this seriously, and I've never seen anything about how trans men CAN have valid opinions in "girls only" conversations. trans man are allowed to relate to things society says only women experience, and I think it should be said more. this applies to trans women in "boys only" topics too. if you've identified as a gender before and have experiences specific to that gender, you should be allowed to talk about it and not be criticized because "that was a long time ago" or "you're not (other gender) anymore so your opinion is invalid". we were all children at some point but our childhood memories don't become incorrect just because we grow up. I think we should talk about this more.

[pally-plate]

Actually, I AM trapped in the wrong body.

I AM a boy trapped in a girl’s body.

I WAS born in the wrong body.

I DO hate my body.

I DO want to change it FOR ME and NO ONE ELSE.

I AM distressed because my body ISN’T right.

And I’m definitely not the only one.

It’s ok if you, as an individual trans person, hate the “born in the wring body,” thing. But stop trying to convince people that every trans person hates that way of describing our experiences.

You are 100% allowed to use whatever descriptions you want for your experiences, but so are we. We who WERE born in the wrong body and feel most comfortable describing it that way.

This is in no way a call-out post, or trying to offend anyone. It’s simply a request to stop acting like trans people are a monolith who ALL prefer the SAME EXACT terms.

[invernom]

For anyone interested in a weird fun lil personal update related to my personal gender experience & plural self-discovery, quasi-related to my coining the term graygender:

When I first tapped into my gender feelings and coined graygender to describe it, thinking about my gender gave me a feeling like floating deep underwater. It's why I went for a deep blue in the center of my first graygender pride flag.

In the years since, that experience changed, and the mental image my gender conjured up was a large, dark orb floating just above the ocean floor in deep, peaceful water. I couldn't explain why thinking about my gender returned the result of "a serene, if slightly ominous, undersea orb", it's just what came to mind whenever I thought about it. I'd even crack jokes about how odd it was!

(I also made a playlist of instrumental music that kinda matched the vibe it gave me. Might share it on here in future or smthing idk, since I really like it)

Anyways, in the past few years I very abruptly discovered I'm some kind of osdd system and the orb is another alter, who I've met and spoken to a couple times??!? And any alter that enters its nice lil watery space can only do so as a floating mote of light, that's just the rules.

But anyways it's a part of me that manipulates access to information & memories for the wellbeing of the system, while also still coming up whenever I (the always-fronting shell alter) think of my gender. The orb, so far as I know, doesn't have a name or gender of its own and doesn't seem particularly interested in them, and it/its pronouns feel most correct when referring to it.

I do have other alters with their own genders, which is still wild to me cause some of them just know they're a boy or a girl or nonbinary or something else right away, like it's obvious to them. But that's not my experience at all!! I had to muddle around figuring out what I felt, so it's quite interesting other parts of me are like "nah I already know".

But yeah anyways who else can say they've met their gender?? 😂

[theartofeverything]

Gender is a fiction we all have our own headcanons about.

Gender expression is a cosplay.

[xanthesaurusrex]

Asking people if they're "more girl" or "more boy" is like asking if orange is more blue or more green. Like, it's fuckin' orange, innit?

[captain-lessship]

I don’t think nearly enough people talk about growing up when your not part of the gender binary. As a agender person, I can’t speak for all of us but it is like this: you grow up without any gender connection. It’s like you borrow a gender identity like it’s a coat but eventually you’re gonna realize it doesn’t fit.

It’s like u simply follow along with your peers and what you friend group is doing, hoping you’ll grow into it. You don’t feel that feeling of a fitting jacket that other people got “I’m a girl!” “I’m a boy!”

You didn’t get that coat from yourself, it was simply handed to you.

You begin to grow older and realize that everyone has found or finds their mind and bodies confusing so you don’t ask why you feel that your coat is one size too small. Then you feel sad or angry about it because you don’t know why you are not the same as the peers you grew up with and why they got fitted jackets.

I know that this is probably not everyone’s experience or that this is probably a terrible analogy but it’s how I explain it to other people. Today is just one of those days that I looked at myself and didn’t see a person in need of a coat and I wanted to share.

[lordmushroomkat]

hi sorry to place a mild rant here i just cant do journaling to myself. So i got diagnosed with pcos and i just got birth control to take. And i dont know how to feel about it. Im genderqueer but not ready to come out and like E was the only option they gave me and since im a teen i didnt know, still dont know, how, if, when i can tell these people that i dont think this is what i want. Im writing this right before im supposed to take my first pill and im scared. Scared i will hate it and will have to live with that because i just cant come out. But im also scared it will make me feel better. Do as my mom says and make me less tired, less cranky. Im scared that when she says that she is doing this because its the best for my health, that she is scientfically right. And my dr even mentioned how i didnt seem to care about anything they were talkin about (pills-side effects, “benefits”) but like after the fact i realized that i could have said that i didnt care because all that she wasnt going to improve my life in any fucking meaningful way. Like body hair? Love it. Or well i would like to remove some not all of it, and not feel like in removing like stomach hair that i was agreeing that i was a women or that hair is disgusting. Because i would remove hair for myself ya know. Not for the preconcieved idea of who i am and how i should look. And acne? If i cared id actually put my acne cream on. Fertility? Dont want children, and they talked about unwanted random fertility but im ace and sex repulsed. Beyond the first visit they didnt even mention cancer. Ive been telling myself im going to take these pills to prevent cancer in uterine lining. And im scared to look up how true thag is. I mean on how e decreases these helath risks. Im scared theyre right. Im scared their wrong. I will fucking riot if they are lying because that means this is for nothing. Im scared it wont give me gender dysphoria, scared i will have dysphoria because it wull peel layers off the dissasosiation i face. and before all this i was planning on making my mom a presentation about intersex people and gender. Because shes supportive just a littl confused and not radical, im radical because grief has made me angry and i want to let her in on it ig. But i dont think i can do that anymore. Because i would have pointed myself out as intersex. Imply she could be too if she liked the label. But im scared that her being cis, and having struggled with weight and eating when she was a teen (and that pcos effects weight) would mean she would hate the idea. Would call me wrong or cite drs. She told me to shave under my arms once, for the convience when traveling light on vacation so that deodorant worked better?? And hours after she said it i realized if i existed for ease i would crase to exist. But im worried whats a good ease for her would be a killer for me. Idk anymore. i guess any advice? But that will probably be to come out and i dont think i can do that. any research or resources that proves im allowed to be angry? I think im just looking for people to tell me im normal for feeling this way. Having a bad day. Thanks for any.. help? Hope this wasnt triggering or anything, i just saw that you were nonbinary with pcos too- and yea. Okay bye

I really don't know if I'm the right person to answer this. I was already out as non-binary for years before I got my PCOS diagnosis. When they said "take these pills" I asked about the other options and they gave me none so I simply refused to take the pills. But I'm like,,, I don't super care about the negative affects of PCOS. I'm casually suicidal all the time and I'll keep living for my family but if something kills me I'm pretty alright with it. I don't really expect to live much longer than like, a handful of decades and like honestly the world is on fire so it'll probably be shorter. So like, my perspective on this is not necessarily a super healthy one? I'm fairly apathetic about my own existence.

But like, I understand your struggle here with wanting to explain the PCOS=intersex connection to your mom but knowing she'll respond poorly because she also has PCOS.

I really don't have any solid advice here. Just... I guess, consider really carefully how you want to feel in your body. If you've been enjoying the superficial changes the PCOS has done to your body with this weird little second puberty, maybe you should consider advocating for yourself a little more firmly about it. Your future health is important but so is your current comfort in your body.