#goose ask

[cameforstuff]

GASP PFP CHANGE :D!!!

LONG LIVE GOOSE JAY!!!

HONK!

[anserifelidae]

You will never be a real woman. You have no womb, you have no ovaries, you have no eggs. You are a homosexual man twisted by drugs and surgery into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.

All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors.

Men are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even trannies who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a man. Your bone structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk guy home with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected axe wound.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably male.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

ok this is definitely a copypasta troll/bot. kinda disappointing that the first anon hate i get in like 10 years didn't even try.

genuinely embarrasing btw. none of this even remotely lines up with info you can find pretty easily. like i have a whole bio thing right there.

sorry you're such a sad person that you feel the need to act like this. grow up or die ok? this shit is lame.

[pt-anon]

*HONK!* 🪿

*pulls out one of those old bike horns and squeezes the rubber end*

HONK HONK HONK!!

:) Hello, goose!! I got a bag of peas somewhere, you want some?

[corysmiles]

if the berries only grow in winter... would it snow where they are?

because if so can you imagine the first time ranboo gets to see snowflakes properly... he could catch snowflakes on his tongue,,,,

snow would be such a different experience when hes human sized yknow?

- goose

Yes yes yes!! it would be so weird for him to actually be able to see the individual snowflakes, and he’d be so excited about it

Also since he kind of hibernates (he only stays awake for like an hour or two a day during the winter) it would probably be his first really snow day ever! I imagine since he wouldn’t need to save as much energy at human-size he’d be able to stay awake much longer, which would mean he’d actually be able to play in the snow.

Tubbo and Tommy would take him around town and let him play and roll with the kids. Also he would get to have his first fresh cup of Niki’s hot chocolate (it’s nice when Tubbo brings it but it’s even better straight from her bakery).

His favorite part would definitely be snowmen. Him and Michael would make a bunch of them all around the den shaped like their family :]

[redroseofdestruction]

goose:*comes back from "outing" with papers with printed evidence on dirt to show MC and watch the relationship(s) crumble towards (x) who they didn't like* Skeletons: fuck this thing is the best animal for this human/being... Also Goose:* has dogtag that states name on one side and on the other it states "I AM NOT LOST FUCK OFF"*

Where are these goose asks/things come from?

Pff, totally. The skeles are fucking amazed by the goose and pray that it’s vengeance doesn’t turn to them. Because that goose can fucking ruin them.

[anserifelidae]

favorite word?

big fan of ghoul. very fun to say.

[corysmiles]

*rattles brain and a single spoon comes out* pog??? i must use this to ask questions??

so hello!!!! i hope ur doin well, and im here w questions abt the friendly giant au, specifically dreams town (and related storylines/characters ig ghdkcbn 'a job unfinished' hurt me /pos)

how big is the town compared to phil's town? have people from the towns interacted before? do they know about each others existence? how far away are the two towns?

whats dream like in this au? do the people of the town trust him? will we get to see him in the future?

would the river do anything to deter any giants? how would charlies slime react with water, if at all?

asndkdofbks sorry these questions are so weirdly specific, i also have more questions but theyr ones that id assume would be spoilery so i will just wait for more to be revealed :']!!

- goose

The question spoon!!! Pog!!!!! And don’t be sorry I’m very excited for this spin off story, so questions are awesome! :D

Dream’s town is like 4 times the size of Phil’s town, but structurally they’re very similar. They have dirt paths and cabin type houses except for the guard’s barracks which are longer wooden buildings near the center.

The people from Phil’s town have interacted with Dream’s town way in the past but not since they put up their walls. Dream’s town sends out “traders” who map the forest and trade with any towns they find, so in the past they have traded with Phil’s town. No one from Phil’s town has ever visited Dream’s though and they no longer interact

The river may deter some giants that just don’t want to out the effort into getting across, but it’s really just to give them some time to prepare in case something does try to attack them. Although mostly, the guard is able to take out anything nearby before it even gets close

Charlie is actually one of the few that would have trouble getting through the water >:] They don’t know that though.

His skin is resistant to the slime but his eyes/nose/mouth etc are not. If he got in the water the acid from the slime would mix in and then burn him. Also, he doesn’t know how to swim

[corysmiles]

hewoo i am back with more questions! has ranboo interacted with any other giants? or seen any even

also how many species (??) of giant are there :00?

- goosedawn

Yep he’s interacted with quite a few over the years!

I’ve only written out information for three other species besides Ranboo but there are probably at least ten different species living in the forest. Just some are much more uncommon than others.

The only giants Ranboo had ever come in close contact with were Raptor Giants when he was younger. The raptors are generally small for giants (only getting as tall as 50 ft) but they use their small stature to hide in the trees. And since they aren’t picky eaters they would swoop down and try to steal Ranboo’s fish.

Their silent footsteps and dark eyes made it almost impossible to detect them when they were hiding, and before Ranboo was big enough to protect himself they posed a big danger to the young giant. (Sometimes when they were particularly hungry they’d snap at Ranboo too).

However, the most frightening near-encounter Ranboo had had was when a carnivorous giant (more commonly known as a ‘man eater’ giant) showed up outside his den. At that point Ranboo was already taller than the other giant, but it’s jagged tusks and bloodied face left him feeling sick. Even if he had an advantage in height he had no doubt that he’d lose to the other in a fight.

Thankfully the beast left after a couple hours but for that period of time Ranboo felt horrified. Any noise or movement could have led to his demise and the sick crunching of whatever it was eating outside gave Ranboo nightmares for months.