To Juniper, the 1997 Nissan Pathfinder,
For weeks during meteorological late summer and meteorological early autumn, I have been browsing car auction sites, hoping to stumble across a good car. Yes, I came across many that were reliable and would get the job done, but none called out to me as a car enthusiast. I remember that at a young age, seeing advertisements for old off-roading vehicles in my father's old magazines always made me grin from ear to ear. They were more than gorgeous; they spoke to my soul, and I knew one day one of my cars would be one of them.
One day, I laid my eyes upon you, and my hands shook with excitement, but also fear. A gorgeous Rain Forest Green Pearl, 1997 Nissan Pathfinder 4dr LE Auto 4WD. Some minimal rust on the quarter panels, expected for an old Nissan, after all.
Out of fear that someone would outbid me, I stayed awake until 0200 the next day, 31 Aug 2022, just to ensure I got you. I won the bid at a "whopping" $800. All the other cars I looked at, I would have spent more on, and I could have spent more, but I was drawn to the beauty of this off-roader. After finally getting rest, my partner and I set out to come pick you up. The hour-long drive to get to you felt like a multi-hour drive; it was hard to keep still from my excitement at finally having my first car.
Of course, they listed it as having no major issues and wouldn't let us test-drive it. You bought it as is, per company policy. No engine noises or anything that was out of place... except for one thing. To drive straight, you had to hold the steering wheel at a 170-degree angle. For that reason, my partner drove the Pathfinder home, of course, after getting something to eat as a way to say cheers to my first car. Later in the week, we brought you in to our trusty mechanic. The first visit to the shop turned out to be more expensive than we thought; your rack-and-pinion needed to be replaced. Other than that, we had a 160-point inspection done on you, as anyone should do when buying a used car. You were officially good to go.
When we brought you home from the mechanic, the green of the conifers in the surrounding area matched you so well that I named you Juniper.
You also gained the license plate PNECNE (pinecone).
It'll be just over 3 years and 5 months when I bring you into the shop next week, in hopes it is just something minor, even though in my heart I know it won't be. It all points to transmission failure, my partner and mechanic know it. Hell, my mechanic loves the first- and second-generation Pathfinders so much that he has owned 18 of them. He knows them like the back of his hand!
When I called him today and told him what's been going on with you, I just heard him sigh heavily and start to say, "Oh my sweet girl, I'm so sorry". (He acts like a father to me and lets me help out in the shop sometimes) I knew, and I cried. I heard him start sniffling on the other side, and when he spoke again, his voice was raw with emotion. I know he loved working on you because he no longer gets Pathfinders because the aftermarket doesn't really exist for them, and building parts is expensive.
These past 3 years and almost 5 months I have spent with you, Juniper, have truly been an honor. Your previous owner loved you just as much, using you as a beach car down in Miami. To this day, I'm still finding sand throughout the car's cabin. I'm honored that I got to show you the Midwest a little bit and take you on all those long drives, despite your gas mileage. I loved driving you to my favorite state parks, going off-roading, and getting you all muddied.
Riding with the windows down through spring, summer, and fall through the back roads of Minnesota and Wisconsin, breathing in the smell of nature and listening to the birds call out, and hearing sports cars and other off-roading vehicles drive by always got a huge smile out of me. People driving other off-roading vehicles would always wave or give me a peace sign with their hand on the steering wheel, and I'd return the greetings as always.
You weren't a fast car, just an off-roader, a dream car of mine as a kid, and a car that called out to me. While yes, I do love my sports cars, it was nice to take it slow and enjoy the scenery. Of course, another off-roader is in the future for sure, but how soon? I'm unsure.
I know it'll take me a while to get another car due to grief, but I hope somewhere down the line, I will own another generation 1 or 2 Nissan Pathfinder/Terrano. I also know that any other car I will drive, I will always think of you.
I tried to do what work I could at home on you, hoping it was just some lines needing to be replaced and redoing fluids. When I started you up to see if you would reverse, the radio started playing "Tuesday's Gone" by Lynyrd Skynyrd. I sat out there despite your heat not working, listening to the full 7 minutes and 30 seconds of that song, crying in -33 F cold. I think in a way, that was you telling me your time has come.
You have been the only thing that has been steady and consistent in my life since the 31, Aug 2022. I'll be so alone and, in a way, lost without you. My heart aches at the thought of bringing you to the mechanic next week and leaving without you for good.
Thank you for being there for me in my darkest times, being a light in my life, and being the bestest friend I could have ever asked for.
Thank you for the memories and adventures, Juniper,
- Goose , 27 Jan 2026
"It’s what non-car people don’t get. They see all cars as just a ton and a half, two tons of wires, glass, metal, and rubber, and that’s all they see. People like you or I know we have an unshakable belief that cars are living entities… You can develop a relationship with a car and that’s what non-car people don’t get… When something has foibles and won’t handle properly, that gives it a particularly human quality because it makes mistakes, and that’s how you can build a relationship with a car that other people won’t get."
- Jeremy Clarkson
(Art piece by heromule on twitter)
