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No Regrets 2014

As two girls from the land of the free, but not free health care, we started our journey in Edinburgh with certain preconceptions. What began with fantasies of living abroad, traveling Europe, writing a memoir in a café in Prague, and falling in love with a brawny Scotsman, somehow turned into a three-month bender that left us strapped for cash, romantically jaded, and running behind on our impending university deadlines.

After the massive disappointment that was Edinburgh’s Hogmanay Street Party, despite the fireworks nearly justifying for the £25 admission fee, we woke up with massive hangovers, and a slight urge for CAW-FEE (coffee), American bacon, and pancakes. Continuing to remember (or not remember) what we did post-Street Party, we felt a slight tinge of embarrassment, as we are sure many other people did. After recalling the bars we went to, the random people we kissed, and the sloppy fun we had, it seemed like the opportune moment to make goals for the year ahead.

Like everyone else, we made some very cliché New Year’s resolutions, and as you may have found yourself, had broken them all midway through January.

Resolution #1: Get Healthy

Whether it’s the all-encompassing “I’m going to get healthy this year”, or something more specific, like a number of times you are going to commit to going to the gym, it seems like this is a resolution every human being on the planet makes, or at least thinks about, on January 1st. Ourselves included.

In the cold weather of January, the only viable option is signing up for the gym, or buying a collection of exercise DVDs. The crowds at the gym are enormous, and although the first two days aren’t bad, you soon start to dread going. Perhaps you are always on the go, like us, and find yourself needing a short, crazy, mind blowing workout that you DEFINITELY feel the next day. Case in point- the wonderful Zuzana a drill sergeant toning guru, who will make you question exactly how fit you are.

We thought committing to a diet plan would be fulfilling, but it is not quite as fulfilling as devouring a plate of chocolate chip cookies garnished with a jar of Nutella. Quitting cold turkey after nearly a month-long indulgence of delicacies and libations makes January seem like one of the least logical months to start a new diet. While you may feel that your stomach has stretched during the holiday season, it is probably better to start slow to get back to the normal amount you were eating pre-Christmas Season. However, if you are thinking of starting a diet program you have to pay for, this is most likely the best time to do it due to seasonal deals and discounts.

But the plate of chocolate chip cookies is probably still the most fulfilling option.

Resolution #2: Drink Less

A concept foreign to us Americans, Dry January is a challenge “to go booze free for 31 days in January”.

Seriously? Seriously? Right after NYE, you’re just going to go cold turkey? We get that Dry January is for a good cause, and can appreciate the money it may save you, but we think the allure of drinking in this less-than-sunny January outweighs the benefits of a month of sobriety. After all, with Re-Freshers Week (Syllabus Week in the USA), Australia Day, and the absence of the ridiculous holiday crowds, we say, why deprive yourself?

Resolution #3: Fall in Love

This is the one that every single 20-something and older makes. For us, holidays can be the most trying and lonely time of the year. You plead the fifth to relatives when they ask you about relationships, and secretly hope that this will be your year.

If this is going to be your year, it will be. And if not, you should just have as much fun as you can and not worry about it. Trust us, you are way more attractive when you aren’t intentionally trying to eye every eligible bachelor/bachelorette in the bar.

Coincidentally, this is the resolution we have the least trouble with. We fall in love every Saturday night at the pub. Our 20-minute relationships are the stuff of legends. However, forcing yourself to fall in love with someone is nearly as excruciating as finishing your night with two double shots of tequila, and probably a bigger letdown than thinking you are going to have fun with the yuppies at Opal Lounge. So instead of adding the pressure of finding your soulmate in the 45 days between New Year’s and Valentine’s Day, why not focus on loving the most important person in your life- yourself!

Now excuse me while I go browse my OkCupid matches.

In efforts to end our post on an overwhelmingly insincere uplifting note, we propose an alternative to the resolutions listed above- have no regrets! It doesn’t mean that you should do as much stupid shit as humanly possible, just don’t regret it if you accidentally do. After all, dignity is overrated, and we lost ours a long time ago.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX (we aren’t sure how these x’s work quite yet)