Let me tell you something about Jimena (peasforeveryone). We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend, Kyle, who was totally gorgeous. But then he moved to Indiana, and Jimena was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like "Why didn't you call me back?". And I'd be like "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like "Jimena, I can't invite you because I think you're a lesbian". I mean, I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their bathing suits. I mean, right? She was a lesbian. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack.
Okay, yeah. I've got an apology. So, I have this friend who is a new member of FYDP this year. And I convinced him that it would be fun to mess up Nadia Afghani's life. So I had him pretend to be friends with Nadia, and then he would come to my house after and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Nadia said. And we gave her these cupcakes that made her gain weight during Ramadan, and then we turned her best friends against her. And then... Oh yeah, Tim- you know my friend Tim? He made out with her boyfriend, and we convinced him to break up with her. Oh, God, and we gave her foot cream instead of face wash.
God! I am so sorry, Nadia. Really, I don't know why I did this. I guess it's probably because I've got a big lesbian crush on you! Suck on that! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!
