#ham lit

[aspergerhamburgerhamhamburglar]

i’m coughing up my hurricane, too wild to stomach our pain,

sleepless storms in mismatched arms — take me home, unlock the doors.

i felt your light in winter blues, a game of chess — i’d love to lose.

[aspergerhamburgerhamhamburglar]

you wrote jokes of jesters, spoke poetry / spat love sonnets at protesters. & under the young november sun, i saw you--  the soggy-eyed one. to see or not to see, i’ve dissolved your taste beneath my tongue-- teeth eating teeth, meat meeting meat. waking without words / daydreams coming, undone. 

[aspergerhamburgerhamhamburglar]

i’m waiting to
 wake up from you,


i’m waiting to bloom.
 sunflower tongue / turned too soon.

lips locked & loaded 
with the language of living— i’m waiting to swallow my tomb.

i loved you like yesterday.


i loved you like sunset.


i loved you like, always looking back.

[aspergerhamburgerhamhamburglar]

inhale. does it taste like spring? does it taste like calendar, erased, like just another face after face, like ash like sucker punch 
like breakfast lunch and dinner like not much, does it taste like a safety net, like money well spent, like not again yet again like where are you going like where have you been? does it taste like growing up like growing old like throwing up like story already told, does it taste like empty? like free? like me like we? used to be, like supposed to be, 
like future turning into memory, like maybe this time like maybe yours and mine like first and last like always becoming the past,
 does it taste like husband and wife like the rest of your life? does it taste like never been born 
like not enough room like too late too soon, like i’ve dreamed your skin 
i’ve cleaned your skin like she loves me she loves me not does it taste like the end? like should i? like could i? 
does it taste like forgetting like forgotten like knowing all along, does it taste like here like there 
like where? like gone

[aspergerhamburgerhamhamburglar]

panic, six o’clock sick (it’s always something) nostalgic heartbeat skip—

pointing / pain, blame game.

once upon a time, i wasn’t me, this wasn’t mine.

[aspergerhamburgerhamhamburglar]

dirt mouth
 coughing rose, 
blowing your 
blood(
 red drip
 button 
nose)

building a bed
 of bathroom floors—


wash your eyes, 
cradle the doors.

       sunless studies, 
       spoon reflections,        stitch by stitch        spotlight skin
 dissections,

       a sob story (sorry scarring)        always staring,
               always starring,

       cut me in my
        dead end dreams—
        wake up,
               lick my              
 strawberry seams.  

[aspergerhamburgerhamhamburglar]

emergency ! emergen see me, ( don’t see--

a plea ( hear me fear me, it’s a waiting room, a waiting game, a walk a wait a numeral name.

it’s a stare from a single chair, a talk a wait a no one’s there.

it’s a voice    inside your head,

a buried bargain    with the dead. 

[aspergerhamburgerhamhamburglar]

i wonder, how do they do it? breathe    with such ease.

i see, no paper cuts. no collapsed tongues. no nauseous eyelashes from blinking too quickly. 

i wonder, i wander, when i sleep i sleep six feet under.

you accepted the apology that is, that was) my body, i’m learning to live in this skin (again. 

       & i can see--

       us, a sunday afternoon.             weather warming, peacefully. 

       & i can see--

       you, a midnight light, full room.               a glow snowing,                   mr. & mrs. self-conscious moon.