#53 Coffee and Sandwiches Does Not Mean a Date PART 2 (Harry Styles)
PART 1
Thank you for all the responses to this! Here is part 2!
Summary: Harry Styles is the class heartthrob, and Y/N is the girl he goes out for lunches with, and that is all.
—
I had to switch off for a few days after that. It wasn’t even voluntary. I just kept sleeping and working the hours I was up. I didn’t respond to messages - his messages. They weren’t asking for much. Just if we’re on for lunch, or that he found a new place. I skipped lunch. It was reasonable in my head. I just didn’t have it in me. I just didn’t want to have to face him and be like, “oh, we are back to the normal, only now I know I don’t have any hope of you liking me.”
Come to think of it, that is what happened. He caught up to me while I was on my way back home, and practically made me talk to him. Not much, just about how I hadn’t responded to any f his messages and if everything was okay.
“Everything is okay,” I responded. “I just have been really caught up in work. Let’s meet for lunch day after? Usual time?”
He agreed and was glad that I was okay. Said, he got worried, and I believed him. It was just my head that was expecting more. Things went on as usual, and a few more weeks passed with more lunches and discussions of his classes, and how he felt about things. I used him as an outlet too. He was doing the same to me, so I thought why not? It wasn’t like anyone knew about our meetings.
“Are you putting that picture on Instagram?” He asked. We had come out of a theatre and I was just taking a picture of the tickets. I said yes. “I mean, that has my name on it,” I asked, so? “No, it’s just everyone will know I was out with you.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that. “I can delete it if you like.”
“No, it’s already on now. People have seen it,” he walked forward, and I quietly followed him, cutting the walk shorter and taking the earlier tube, than walking to the one on my line as planned.
I didn’t take pictures after that and noticed how he always uploaded pictures of him with others of almost everything he did, but never with me. Not one picture documenting our hangouts to even some cool places. Was I too ugly and not up to his standards on Instagram? Only pretty people to see and upload, please.
In my head, I rationalised why I went to places with him. He was one of the only few interested in some places I’d like to go, and it wasn’t too bad. Hanging out with him, made the time pass and I saw the things I wanted to see. It was a little too much when his birthday came along. He acted like a stranger when we met at one of the meetings for the entire cohort and, people wished him, and because some of the people in my group were friends of his, we were invited to the pub, where I could have been fooled, if the memories of so many lunches weren’t in my head.
Why was he doing this? Were people this petty? Yeah, they were - I didn’t have to look too far. My friends were enough to validate all his points, and I didn’t have any energy to disagree.
Then, there was the club party, and it would have been fine if my friends who didn’t know him weren’t invited, but they were. Personally added to some group, where the party plans were discovered. I just saw all the stories on the app. I had had enough by then. This was a little too demeaning.
‘Hey, are you busy? Didn’t respond to the coffee shop message.’
‘I hope you enjoyed your birthday party’
‘What? Yeah, yeah. It was just that group. We went to a club like usual.’
Liar. ‘Yeah, your group and most of the batch. Except a few obviously. We must have not made the cut.’
‘What? What cut? Let’s meet and talk. I’ll explain.’
‘Let’s not meet anymore, Harry.’
He didn’t respond after that, must have thought how I didn’t feel grateful enough to have the opportunity to spend time with him.
My lunches were suddenly empty so, I started hanging out with other people in the cohort. It was nice meeting new people. New people hurt less than the ones you know. I crossed him many times, and he looked at me like he wanted to say something. My mind imagines things.
———
Harry sat beside me in class, the other day. “Hey,” He smiled. “Good morning.”
“Hey,” I smiled back, getting my notes ready, and then, turning to talk to a person, confirming the plans for the evening.
I turned back, “you’re going for the play?”
“Yeah,” I responded, nodding.
“I thought we were supposed to go together.”
“When?” I asked.
“We always go for plays together. That’s what we do, right?” He turned towards me.
“That was before you were ashamed of being seen with me in public,” I laughed. “Oh wait, is that why you didn’t want to go for Hamilton together? Too high end for you - a lot of people - your friends - will go for it, and you can’t be seen with me…”
“Stop,” He closed his eyes. He was really pretty. It hurt to see him even flinch. Lucky him. “Where are you getting all this from?” I rolled my eyes. The professor walked in and started speaking. “Look,” Harry whispered, “I didn’t make the list for the club. I didn’t know who was invited. I was just made a part of it, and Cindy made the list.”
“And, you didn’t bother inviting me?”
“I didn’t think that you weren’t there! The entire cohort was so, I thought you were too!”
“I’m not an idiot, Harry. I can’t believe I’m even talking about not being invited to a stupid party.”
“Then, why are you pushing it?” Now angry, I could see him tightening his fists.
“Because you know it is more than that!” I almost was too loud, but was safe and, the professor continued talking. He didn’t say anything until the class ended.
“So, what are you mad about? How I don’t take pictures with you? Is that it? Come let’s take one! What would you like to do with it?” I rolled my eyes and shook my head. He was daft. “No, you wait here,” He held my arm. Everyone cleared out quickly, and we were the last two left. “What is this about? Why does this picture mean so much to you? Why can’t me being with you be enough?”
“Because it proves that experiences with me are worth sharing with others!” I shouted tearing up. “It means that I am good enough to spend time with, and look spending time with me is worth others feeling jealous of! Cause isn’t it all about that! Sharing experiences and showcasing friendships, the only mine isn’t worth showing off. That is all it means.”
“I don’t see any of your friends posting pictures with you so, what does it say about you?” He said, dropping my arm.
I flinched, his words tearing my heart apart, “Guess you just cleared what they think,” I picked up my bag, and walked away.
“Fuck. Y/N! I didn’t mean that! Y/N!” He followed me out as I rushed down the stairs. “Y/N wait! I meant something else,” Everyone turned to look at me, and then him. He didn’t seem to care, and I didn’t stop, leaving the building.
“Hey, why was Harry screaming your name?” Samantha asked at lunch.
“Just some project topic we didn’t agree on. Can we share the pasta?” I asked.
———
“That’s a cute picture of you two!” Kylie said during class.
“What picture?” I asked.
“Of you and Harry, he posted?” she laughed, and I opened his account. It was a picture of us. It was in a bar. After a long morning, we had had enough and we needed a drink and it didn’t matter that it was 2 pm, we needed it and we went and had it. It was a picture of us then.
‘I miss our lunches xx.’ The caption read.
I frowned. After a week of zero contact, he posted this. A first actually. He didn’t sit near me in class, but I could see him looking at me. Nor did he wait to talk to me after it. Literally ran out of the class, as I turned. This went on for two days, him basically running out on me.
“Can we talk?” I walked up to him sitting with his friends in the Uni pub.
He looked at me, his face blank and then, finally nodded. My heart felt relieved and we walked out. I could see his friends looking through the glass at us. I tried ignoring it.
“Tell me?” He said.
“How have you been?” I asked.
“Fine, essays due, you know,” He replied, folding his arms, “What’s up?”
“Umm, do you want to go for lunch tomorrow?”
“Why?” he frowned, folding his hands to his chest. I didn’t know how to respond to that. I thought he wanted to, and that’s why I asked. “Oh wait, is my friendship now good enough for you?” He smirked. He was laughing at me. He didn’t understand what I felt. He didn’t know what rejection felt like, what being hidden and not being accepted in public by the one you like was not something he was familiar with at all.
“Harry! We are leaving,” Maddie chirped opening the door and putting her hand forward. He took it and walked away without turning back to look at me. I couldn’t help the tears from falling. Maybe, rejection was always written for me.
—
What do you guys think about what Harry is doing? Tell me what you guys think about whats happening! It’ll help me write the next part!
Part 3?
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