When I tell you this started out as a joke--
Literally this was supposed to just be Angel and other residents joking about Alastor's deer-ness till he gets fed up with it. Simple. Quick. Silly.
But then the spirit of RadioDust possessed me and it started snowballing and wow I love this ship but wow
Also I didn't realize till I was actually writing the last sentence that Alastor is actually shorter than Angel... I'm so used to writing Alastor tall cause RadioApple is my everything but the all powerful Radio Demon being a lil guy is also fun.
Word Count: 2393
Warnings⚠️: Mention of masking as a coping mechanism, mention of alcohol consumption, Valentino is mentioned, self loathing if you squint, RadioDust BECAUSE I CAN, fruit filled pancakes, one of them is being a healthy and accepting partner (wow what a concept), author didn't know this was a romance till halfway through
Deer
Angel and Alastor sat at the bar, Alastor with a glass of whiskey and Angel with a red wine. Husk had went to bed early, and Alastor had wanted to wake him up but Angel insisted he'd make their drinks himself.
“So Alastor… How'd you die?” Angel asked, staring into his wine with a smirk on his face, as if he was baiting Alastor.
Alastor's smile tightened as he sensed Angel was up to something. “And why do you ask, Angel?”
“Wanted to see if I guessed right…” Angel said, putting his glass down.
Alastor could practically smell when someone wanted to run away, and while he enjoyed the feeling of someone else's adrenaline in the air, he didn't like being messed with.
At least on an equal playing field. And because he had no clue what Angel was thinking, no way to predict what he'd say and how he'd respond to the next question, they certainly didn't have equal footing in this conversation.
He was only humoring him because they were both a bit drunk.
“And what's your guess?” Alastor asked, swirling the small amount of drink in his glass before taking another sip.
“Figured ya tried crossing the road and when a car came you just stood there cause the lights were so pretty.” Angel replied.
It took Alastor a beat to get it because he was drunk and it was such a scoff-able joke, was it even worthy of a chuckle?
“The only lights I've ever been entranced in are the ones in your eyes.” Alastor said softly.
Part of it was to simply mess with Angel.
Part of it was true.
He never gave the true-part enough time to sit in his mind, lest the notion become a new obsession, because as much as he loved the chase of a prey obsessed over for weeks, he saw the way Angel looked at Husk.
He could do all the deals he wanted, but he couldn't change feelings. At least, not ones that aren't his own.
Angel stared at Alastor while Alastor stared down his drink, Alastor waiting for some sort of witty comeback, Angel entirely bewildered.
“I must be super fuckin’ drunk cause you did not just say that.” Angel remarked, drinking a smaller sip of wine than the gulps he had taken earlier.
Alastor chuckled. He didn't know what made him do what he did next. Whiskey. The beautiful man in front of him. The silence screaming in his ears which would continue to ring inseccantly if he didn't do what came next. That intrusive thought he couldn't pack away– the curiosity of what that wine tasted like on Angel's lips.
“You heard me just fine, and while your vulgarness is off-putting, the sparkle in your eyes when you forget about the studio is something that I'll never get tired of.”
Angel practically gave himself whiplash turning his head to look at Alastor. What the fuck was this joke? Alastor acted wholly uninterested in fucking him before.
“To clarify,” Alastor started, as if he had read Angel's mind.
“I still don't want to do anything of that nature, if that's what you're thinking… I simply think,”
Alastor let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Why was he confessing all of this?
Did Angel really have that strong of a hold on him?
Was he already infatuated before he could realize it?
“That you are a man I can get along with, when the mask slips.”
“What d’ya mean mask? Ain't nothin’ plastic here, gotta keep this bod natural for the films.” Angel joked.
He knew what Alastor was taking about, though.
He was really very surprised, but he couldn't let himself process that right now.
He didn't like the idea that anyone knew he was masking.
A beat of silence passed.
“Listen Al, we're both way too drunk, let's get some water and head to bed, alright?” Angel said, getting off his stool and beginning to pass Alastor so he could go behind the bar to get put them some water.
Alastor had a thought cross his mind and realized how sober he was, how much he actually dared to want what he was about to do.
“Angel,” Alastor took Angel's hand.
“Alastor, you really don't want to– it's the whiskey. That's enough.” Angel jerked his hands away, feeling more and more sober by the second.
Alastor felt a bit hazy but whatever possessed him to confess writhed in him in a way he couldn't ignore.
“Let me prove to you it's not the whiskey.” Alastor said, turning in the bar stool to continue to watch Angel as he went behind the bar.
‘Better to humor a drunk person till they get to sleep then start a fight they probably don't want.’ Angel thought.
“How would you do that, huh?” Angel asked.
Alastor thought for a moment.
“Tomorrow morning, I will come to you, sober, after the King serves his frivolous pancakes. I will only come if my feelings are true,” Alastor took the glass of water Angel silently offered and drank a bit before going on.
“But may I ask, why is it so hard to believe?”
This stumped Angel. Alastor sort of hated doing that– he didn't like seeing Angel lose that confidence.
“Well…. Al, it's … You're not lyin’ when you say it's not about sex?” Angel asked in return.
“Wholeheartedly, no. I'm not lying. I’d manipulate and torture and falsify to anyone– but I'm certainly not doing anything of the sort right now.” Alastor replied.
Angel looked at him apprehensively.
“Why the hell are you bein’ so honest? Is it really cause you're drunk?”
Now Alastor was stumped.
“I think…” Alastor had to think harder and longer, despite that he thought he'd find an answer after starting the sentence itself. And then it dawned upon him.
This was a sort of accumulation of things.
“I think… The other day, when you smiled while Nifty beat Husk at cards, that is part of it. And then when you laughed when Lucifer brought out a far too large stack of pancakes at breakfast one day, that's also part of it. When you were cuddling with your pet pig– his name is Nuggets something yes?– during the movie night Charlie orchestrated, that's it too. Over the past few weeks I've been noticing you more and more and I find myself… Smiling genuinely. And the past few days I've been seeking you out. Not just noticing you, but wishing you were there for me to see. This has been building up, and I think…. I think being drunk is only a small part of it, Angel.” Alastor said Angel's name like it was a word he couldn't get enough of.
Angel stood there shocked, this night was so fucking shocking, and he was amazed at the fact that going along with the bit of the drunker person led to all of that. Alastor had been watching him? And wanting him? And not in the fucky way?
Angel took a breath and let it out, before saying, “If you remember any of this tomorrow, I'll believe you. So please… Go to sleep so tomorrow can come sooner, yeah?”
Alastor's expression was sad for a moment, despite the smile, because he wasn't successful in convincing Angel his feelings were real. But his spirits lifted and he felt a bit childish at the realization that he could make morning, the time where he'd finally have Angel, come sooner.
“I'll go right to bed then!” Alastor said, getting up, stumbling a bit as he hopped off the bar stool.
He then stopped in his tracks and turned back to Angel.
“Angel, can I ask for one more thing? Just one?” Angel hadn't seen Alastor look so wholesomely excited before. He was usually only murderously excited. He sounded breathless too.
“Uh, depends on what it is?” Angel said apprehensively, hoping Alastor didn't want him to kill anyone.
Alastor had had a constant blush since they started drinking. That was fine. What Angel wasn't expecting was for it to suddenly turn into a deeper shade. That sure as fuck threw him for a loop.
“A goodnight kiss.” Alastor said, pointing to his right cheek.
Angel was surprised how far Alastor was going with this. How drunk was he? No, a worse question passed Angel's mind– how serious was he?
Angel walked out from behind the bar, lightly touched Alastor's chin with his fingertips to hold his face in place, and pecked him on the cheek.
The smile that Alastor had seemed real. But Angel pushed that notion down. They were both too drunk to give genuine things to each other. Alastor didn't know what the fuck he was saying.
“Thank you… See you tomorrow morning, dear.” Alastor said.
He then began to walk up the stairs of the lobby. Angel guessed he didn't just do that shadow-melty thing because he was too out of it to use his powers. Angel decided to wait till Alastor was out of sight to go up to his room, lest he have to walk alongside him on the stairs. Once Angel made it into his room, he resolved to put everything into a perspective: Alastor was drunk; Mimzy said he gets real loose when he's drunk; he won't be approached by Alastor tomorrow morning.
**********
Angel pushed his heart shaped black hangover glasses back up his nose as he looked down at his pancakes. Lucifer had put strawberries in them today. Angel didn't like that it reminded him of Alastor.
Alastor.
He still hadn't shown up to breakfast. Maybe he had a worse hangover than Angel did. Maybe he was plotting Angel's death because he dared to kiss the man, even if it was only on the cheek.
“Alastor! Hey, are you alright? You're usually the first one here.” Angel heard Charlie say this from the head of the table. He looked up to see Alastor coming from the door. He didn't seem hung over at all.
“I'm very well, thank you, I just needed to prepare myself for a bit of business today.” Alastor replied.
He passed his chair.
Alastor didn't sit in his chair, but passed right by it. Angel couldn't believe it, but Alastor was heading his way, silently. Everyone had also noticed and the whole room went quiet. Angel hated that. Please let there be a distraction. Angel thought he might finally go to double Hell. Yup, this was it. Humor the wrong drunk person, kiss the wrong overlord, and you're dead meat.
Alastor finally stopped beside Angel's chair, and held his hand out between him and Nifty, who was sitting to the right of Angel. Something told Angel to take his hand. Everything was so loudly silent. But something told him he should.
That maybe this would be his romcom moment.
As soon as he took Alastor's gentle hand, Angel felt like he was hit by a freezing wind from all sides. He couldn't see anything but darkness, and was too shocked to let go of Alastor's hand. Then the darkness fell away like a curtain to reveal that they had been transported to a hallway in the hotel.
“The fuck?!” He let go of Alastor's hand, taking a step back.
“Hell at least warn a guy before you fuckin’ transport his ass to who the fuck knows where.” Angel said, straightening his suit jacket anxiously. Why had Alastor taken him here?
“I'm sorry, but I wanted to get away from the others before I say what I'm about to say.” Alastor said, taking a step forward to get closer to Angel.
Now he had Angel's attention, “Um, you're not gonna kill me right? I think Charlie would be pissed and I was only tryna get you to chill out and that seemed like the only way and–”
“Angel.” Alastor interrupted.
“Yeah?” Angel said, actually a little scared.
“I remember everything from last night. And I want you to know… Everything I said was and is still true.”
A moment of silence passed.
And then Alastor's smile visibly stiffened a bit. And Angel was about to say he couldn't really be in a relationship when Alastor added,
“You don't need to give up anything. Not your work, not your flamboyance, I don't care that you have a contract with that insipid insect, I don't care that I can't give you certain things– I want you, and you don't need to give up the things I can't give you. I won't beg, but I need you to know I want you without you needing to change.”
Angel felt something tight in his chest, a lump in his throat, on the verge of turning around because he didn't know if he was about to cry. How the fuck did he get the attention of the radio demon so earnestly? How the fuck could he see right through his little show?
Should he actually believe this could be a chance for something nice? Something wholesome and caring? Something like what Charlie and Vaggie had?
And then he was a bit surprised at himself.
Since when is he afraid to take risks? Afraid to get hurt? Afraid to crash and fucking burn?
Fuck being afraid.
“Alastor I… I know you probably know I'm fucked up already. And I guess maybe you're a bit fucked up too… If you really want, if you really think I'm that special, without changing the fucked-up-ness… Yeah, I'll accept this big ass confession.”
Alastor's smile softened. He let out a breath he'd been holding. Then, he stepped as close to Angel as he could, and asked,
“May I hold you, then?” He made his cane disappear with a flick of his wrist and held out his arms.
“If we're together, why do you think you gotta ask?” Angel asked, smirking because he thought this asking was strange when couples are supposed to be all lovey dovey.
“Because I know there are people in your life who don't ask.” Alastor said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.
Now Angel thought he might really cry this time.
He practically jumped into Alastor's hug. Though, Alastor is a bit shorter than Angel, so it was a bit awkward when they almost fell over, but it felt nice all the same.
