@ca-the-nerd your wish is my command!!! Okay so AU where A-Yuan has been adopted by music teacher Lan Zhan who is also composer Lan Wangji but doesn't really do much composing outside of a hobby anymore, because of the kid. ANYWAY, everyone has always asked A-Yuan who his mama is, and so obviously A-Yuan has asked Lan Zhan, and Lan Zhan (who has actually explained adoption as best he can to a four year old) is like "uhhhh...I'm working on it." So A-Yuan just assumes that Lan Zhan is tryna pick out the perfect the perfect mama for him, and also goes on the lookout for a possible mama! Completely unrelated to this situation, A-Yuan is in love with this show called "Evil Inc." that portrays actor Wei Wuxian as the Yiling Patriarch, a competent and would-be scary villain if he was not surrounded by silly henchmen that accidentally muck up his plans in their attempts to be helpful! (He loves them all anyway, ushering them along like how a mama cat looks after her kittens). The four year old toddler watches this show EVERY DAY, sees this guy being the nicest man to the ones who are stopping him from taking over the world, starts telling anyone who asks that the Yiling Patriarch is his mama. At first, everyone's like "awwh, is he now?" and laughs it off, but then he starts drawing pictures about it and everything and then the teachers are like "this is getting annoying", turn to Lan Zhan and are like (smug and RUDE because booo bad nursery) "we know you're an adoptive father all on your own but you have to teach your kid about lying." Lan Zhan of the Lan clan family with many rules against lying is so offended because his child does not lie, so he decides that he'll MAKE A-Yuan's desire a truth! Cut to Lan Zhan staring at Wei Wuxian's Instagram or whatever and being like "hmmm...am I about to do this?" and Nie Huaisang, who is there for moral support (and also to hide from his brother after spending so much money on a game), is like "yes you are." Lan Zhan messages Wei Wuxian being like "this is likely an unconventional message for someone of your calibre to receive, but I was wondering if you could pretend to be dating me because my son (picture attached below) is telling everyone that the Yiling Patriarch is his mother and everyone is accusing him of lying. He is not a liar, he just wishes to fit in." Meanwhile, Wei Ying, who scrolls through his Instagram messages sometimes for the shits and giggles, receives this message, sees the kid and is like "I would literally do anything for this precious kid." Cue him responding to Lan Zhan as if he isn't a famous actor and consequently coming up with a whole plan for Wei Ying to come down and hang out with them just to PROVE THE HATERS WRONG!!!! Also so Wei Ying can get a break from his hectic life. Just pretend to date for this kid's benefit, hang out in public together with A-Yuan, go to parent events together, start hanging out in private, fall in love- Waaaiiit.....that wasn't part of the PLAN!
