Listen!! I fucking love the new episode! I love Stolas's song! But the entire time I listened to it, I couldn't help but think of Tex, who wasn't paid enough to care about his bosses crazy ex. Can you imagine him texting Loona like "Hey girl, my boss made me sing a song about what a motherfucker your dad is."
And I can just imagine Loona being like "LMFAO cool."
Brief pause from posting swtd stuff cause I realized I never posted my Helluva Boss fankids when I posted my Hazbin ones
In order: Fizzmodeus, Stolitz, Moxillie, BlitzFizz, and whatever the name for Loona/Bee/Tex is (Bellatrix is Loona/Bee, Maverick is Bee/Tex, Cascade and Jet are Loona/Tex)
I made these in like June or July 2024 so I didn't know anything about recent events when I made Maisie, only found out the day the episode was posted while I was at work, so that was a fun spoiler to receive
It’s been a few weeks since the “incident” as your coining it. Lucifer seems rather unaffected by it. He’s been love bombing you as usual. Making you food every day, buying you new gifts, tight hugs that were practically suffocating you, and he took you out for "dates" every weekend. This weekend he's taking you to the gluttony ring to look at how the hell hounds are treated.
You dressed in a pastel yellow shirt with a duck on it (of course) and flared jeans embroidered with apples on the sides (again, of course). You walked out of the room to find Lucifer waiting for you.
He squealed “You look so cute!” He hugged you and snuggled into your form.
“Stop. Touching. Me.”
He pouted, giving you puppy dog eyes. “I don’t wanna, doll!”
“I am not you doll.” You tried to push him away, but you just ended up stumbling back. “Let’s just get going to the gluttony ring.” You picked yourself up and walked towards the limo.
…
About an hour later you, Lucifer, and Beelzebub (or bee)
were sitting in a lounge overlooking a chaotic Hellhound part Bee was throwing. It was admittedly a bit uncomfortable. Lucifer and Bee were getting drunk on “honey” and you were sitting trying not to look out the window of the overhead lounge because you’d probably see people making out and/or grinding on each other.
“Hey… I’m gonna head out for some fresh air okay?” You told Lucifer.
He hugged you arm nuzzling it for a few seconds before letting you go. “Come back soon okay! I’ll find you wherever you off to!”
You stepped outside the club and checked some text messages.
“Tough night?” Someone asked from behind you. You turned around and saw a tall Hellhound with a broad muscular figure.
“You probably shouldn’t be talking to me.” You warned. His fur was black and he had a scar over his left eye.
“Okay, that’s kinda rude.”
You roll your eyes. “It’s for your own safety. My “Fiancé” is possessive and probably wouldn’t like me talking to anyone guy.”
“You’re Lucifer’s girl aren’t you? Nice to meat you candy apple.” He smiled.
“Candy apple?” You tilted your head in confusion.
“Your jeans.” He pointed out. “Anyway I’m Vortex. Why are you out here all alone?”
“Lucifer and Bee were getting hammered and I just didn’t want to deal with that. I came out here to get away from all the noise.” You explained, just wanting to be alone right now.
“Sorry about that. Bee can get kinda rowdy at times. So you’re just out here to relax?” He asked not getting the hint.
“Yeah. It’s the only time I’ve gotten to be away from Lucifer in days. It was supposed to be alone time for me.” You said passive aggressively. Before he could respond you got the call you’ve been waiting for for months! “Sorry I have to take this!” Vortex nodded and left you to the phone call. “Hello?” You asked hesitantly.
“Hey is this Luci’s new bitch?!” The guy on the other end of the phone asked. He was loud and brash, and you remember him from your one day out doing whatever you wanted in exchange for going on a date with Lucifer.
“Yes that’s me. Did you find him, Mr. Blitz?” You asked hopeful of the outcome.
“Don’t get your panties in a twist honey, we got the guy.” He said so nonchalantly.
“Great! Unfortunately I can’t come pick up the information about him right now. I’m… out of town on a work trip and I won’t be back until later tonight.” You explained sheepishly.
“Yeah yeah, just come pick it up when you get the chance. I will say that it’s quite odd to have you request we track this guy down, but money is money and I’m not complaining.” You heard the squeaking of a chair in the background of the call.
“Thank you for your time Mr. Blitz.” You smiled so grateful for this.
“Thank YOU for your money.” He hung up and you went back inside to find the sins.
You were trying not to trip over limbs or bump into people. The whole place looked more like an orgy than Ozzie’s did. (But then again you weren’t exactly on the floor at Ozzie’s. There were fountains of honey, crazy ring statues, hexagonal shaped furniture, and music blaring from every corner of the place.
You made your way back up to the lounge and had to pretend like everything was normal.
Once you got there you saw a terrifying sight. A very, very drunk Lucifer whining on the couch. Once you entered his head shot up and he smiled at you. He flopped off the couch and ran to you. He leaned against you at a weird angle to press his face against your chest. His drunken rambling made no sense. He pulled you away from the door and pinned you against the wall.
“Your ssssoooo pretty~” He giggled as he slurred his words. “Fuck.” His voice came out in a whisper. “I wanna kiss you so badly!” He whined.
“You need to sober up.” You tried to get away as he held you close.
This seemed to be a running trend in your “relationship with the king of hell huh? He’d do something awful and make you super uncomfortable. Then he would apologize and love-bomb you with presents as an apology, promising to change and be better. But he never has, he never will.
“You’re so perfect! You’ll never go away~” He said sloppily. He giggled at you as you looked dully at him.
Maybe there was no escaping him, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t, wouldn’t, and shouldn’t try. There was nothing that bounded you to him. Renesmee and Nina were lovely to hang out with and be around but Styx and Pluto weren’t exactly the most welcoming of people to be around. It was suffocating.
“We need to get you some water.” You tried to step away again he he just held you in place against the wall and kissed you.
“No! I don’t want any water when I have the sweetest taste I could ever have here in my hands. You’re lips are like ambrosia, Darling. I need to taste them over and over. I need your kisses more than I need to breath!”
You wanted to cry. In any other context this would have been so sweet and romantic. If only he hadn’t taken you and violated you with his wants and desires every chance he got. He would have been such a sweetheart and a hopeless romantic if you two had met under normal circumstances. But instead he is forcing you to be his wife.
“We’re leaving.” You said as you grabbed his arm.
“I don’t wanna go!” He whined and struggled as you dragged him outside and away from the rest of the party.
“You need to sober up before you get a hangover tomorrow and become even more needy and “affectionate”. If you can even call it that.” People cheered as they saw you two leaving. You wondered if they actually thought he was a good king or if they were just kissing up to him. If it was the first option then why? He profited from a system that was built to keep them down.
You threw him in the back seat of the car and climbed in after him. Eventually the car drove off and you were making your way back to the Pride ring. The car ride was silent as you stared out the window and Lucifer slept with his head on your lap.
Eventually you saw something that shocked and disturbed you.
A small Samoyed hell hound was being held down and muzzled… “Stop the car!” The driver stopped at your command.
You ran out and ran towards the small creature. You gently scooped the pup into your arms and glared at the bigger Hell hounds trying to take this poor creature away.
“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?” You yelled in rage.
“None of your business! Now step aside!” One of them yelled. You held your ground and refused to let go of the poor little creature.
“It’s okay little one. Nothing is going to harm you while I’m here.”
“While we’re here…” Lucifer came out from the car unexpectedly. “I may have a killer headache but I know when my girls in danger. You come at my wife you fuck with me. And I don’t like getting fucked…” he spoke in a menacing tone as his horns grew out of head, with the new addition of a big black spot on his horns that weren’t originally there. His wings sprouted from his back. “Go to the car doll.”
“No.”
“Doll…”
You grabbed his hand and pulled both him and the puppy to to car. “Call up Bee and tell her we’re adopting this Hellhound. What’s your name little one?” You pulled them both into the limo.
“I don’t have one.” The sweet Samoyed revealed as Lucifer called Beelzebub.
“Are you a boy or a girl?”
“I’m a boy…”
“I’m gonna name you Guinefort after the folk hero! I’ll call you Guinea for short! You’re like a cute little guinea pig!” You smiled and booped his nose.
“What’s a guinea pig?” He tilted his head.
“Not important right now. How do you feel about your name?” He cringed at it. “Not a fan huh? How about… Gelert! No? Shippeitaro? Samara? Raiju?” You thought for a moment longer. “…hm. Fenrir?”
“That one!” He clapped.
You smiled. “That’s a beautiful name.” You kissed him forehead.
Yes, earlier you we’re talking about how you had nothing to tie you down to hell but… what were you supposed to do? Let him die? Or whatever they would’ve done to him? No… one step at a time you were going to start to change hell while you could. Even if you wouldn’t stick around to see the improvement it would make for its citizens.
“I promise Fenrir, as long as I’m with you nothing bad will ever happen to you again.
my apple pencil is dead (2018 - 2024) so until further notice I am unable to draw. Here’s a little helluva boss screenshot edit I made last march featuring my impsona
What do you think of Bee-lzebub × Loona (× Vortex?) as a ship?
I think they're so cute! Especially if its Bee/Loona/Tex. I would not be disappointed if that became a thing in canon, but if it was just a platonic Bee/Loona/Tex, I would be happy with that too.
I just want Loona to have a nice big support group. I remember reading some Helluva Boss fun facts and one of them is that Hellhounds have a very tight knit community, and that Loona's anti-socialness is actually very outside of the norm. I figure it probably has something to do with her backstory/upbringing, but I just want her to have people around her that she loves and trusts (outside of I.M.P, of course).
I also love the ship because then we have Blitz who's dating a Goetia (Stola), Blitz's friend, Fizz, who's dating a sin (Ozzie), and then Blitz's daughter dating another sin (Bee), and then his co-workers Millie and Moxie who in and of themselves are as much of a power couple as any of the others. Like??? It just runs in the family, I guess.
So real question: was Tex at Verosika’s party because he’s her bodyguard and she paid him to be there, which includes singing backing vocals for her on any songs that call for it…
Or did Tex ALSO have something going on with Blitzo at some point?
(I don’t think the latter is actually all that likely, but HOO BOY would Loona be mad if that turned out to be the case. A guy she liked and spent significant time with even knowing he was in a relationship, and her dad actually got with him?)
