Okay, last whiteboard post, cause I ended up creating an au. I blame "How to Cat Burglar a Family" by @/dark-lord-of-awesomeness (they don't need to see this). But instead of it being a Gravity Falls au, it's a thsc au. (If you haven't read it, go read it. But the plot is Stan is turned into a cat in his mullet years, and gets 'adopted' by Ford. Ford has no idea Stan's a cat, Stan is trying to tell Ford he's a cat. Comedy)
Here are the unfortunate souls for the torment. Police trio time-
How I imagine what happened was that the three were hanging out in Hershel Panzer's house, and then answer a doorbell thinking it was pizza. The Witch, from the toppat clan, turned them into cats, thinking they just turned Hershel. Hoping for a hostage. Unfortunately, she only accounted for one confused and scared cat, not three. And 2/3's fear response is fight. The three escape, but loose each other in the chaos. Dave is re-captured, unfortunately.
So, what happens to the three them? Well, they pair up with the Triple Threat of course! (I should mention this takes place post-Escaping the Prison and pre-Stealing the Diamond).
First up, is Rupert with Ellie.
Rupert has been turned into an American Shorthair (cause there's no green cats, and I thought black stripes suited him) He found a piece of garbage and uses it as a hat, cause I will never tell you if he's thinning or not.
Ellie kind of found Rupert wandering around, and thought, "Jacob has been in the dumps lately. Maybe a cat would cheer him up." Unfortunately, Rupert doesn't take kindly to being cat-napped, and due to an undiagnosed anxiety disorder not knowing how his claws work yet, his claws are out 24/7. (Buddy, I don't think that's good for you). So, he's scratching, clawing, and biting Ellie and Jacob, especially after he learns they're criminals.
Because of all this, and the fact Ellie is a plant nerd who likes the Rose last name, she names Rupert 'Thorns' as seen from the picture above. Despite, her stealing Rupert for Jacob, he's definitely her cat, as Jacob is too worried about things like, "Does the apartment allow pets?"/ "We don't have money to take him to the vet!"/"We can barely take care of each other, how are we supposed to take care of a cat?!" Buzz kill.
Funny enough, Ellie is the only one who figures out Rupert is a person, (Oija boards are not exclusive to ghosts), but also finds out he's a cop. Chaos comes after, as after threats are made ("You'll be stuck as a cat forever" / "I'll have you arrested") They get into a moral argument, which ends with Ellie being the victor, and Rupert's world view crushed and he goes to the corner to sulk. "Ellie, what did you do to our cat?" - Jacob.
This proceeds with Rupert running away, (cause Ellie won't turn him back), and Ellie having to rescue him from a hawk. Kind of a friendship is born after that, and Ellie promises she will turn Rupert back, if he keeps their location and crime history a secret. Especially, since Jacob wants to get a fresh start.
Ellie keeps Rupert being a person a secret as to not cause Jacob stress, and of course, to not seem crazy.
Then the Wall arrests Ellie. Rupert follows totally not because he thinks of her as a friend, but because who else will help turn him back?
Johnny as a shorthair British cat, and the only one who figured out how to use his claws properly.
After being separated, Johnny tries to find the others and his dad. That's his top priority.
He ends up mistaking Charles for his dad and runs over to him. (if you had cat sight, you'd need glasses). He then awkwardly tries to play it off like he meant that (coping mechanism), which Charles decides that means he was chosen by the cat distribution system and takes him home.
Johnny is honestly scared, and hides from Charles for the first few hours. He then later realizes since he's a cat Charles will probably not do anything, and plus, since Charles works in the military like his dad, he'll probably be able to find his dad, tell him he and the others have been turned into cats, and bing batta boom- turn back to being a stickfigure. So, he then cautiously lets Charles in, who was also started being cautious with him.
Also, Charles does take Johnny to the vet and learns about his hemophilia, and gets medication for him. Johnny dislikes Charles knowing about this, and about being taken to the vet. (we all know why).
Charles names him 'Daredevil' after a coin flip if he wants to be a helicopter nerd or a superhero nerd today. He chooses Daredevil, cause Johnny is very reckless, and also because the superhero is disabled just like Johnny! (Johnny doesn't like this, but over time becomes mixed)
However, since Charles is Johnny's key to getting out of here, he follows him every where. Including the helicopter (nobody knows how he keeps getting in. Even when he is inevitably turned back, he still keeps it a secret). Kind of becomes an unofficial (then official cause everyone likes cats) part of the military. Charles even picks up upon Johnny's intelligence, and secretly teaches him how to fly the helicopter so he can be a co-pilot in emergencies.
Their story is kind of Charles slowly gaining the trust of Johnny. Becoming a reckless cat and pilot duo. Because he keeps showing up on the helicopter. Charles used a kennel, how does he keep doing this?!
Hershel keeps accidentally avoiding Johnny through a comedy of errors. Though, I think the one time they do meet up, Johnny tries telling Hershel that he is his son, but it goes over Hershel's head. Like actually starts crying, "I am your son! Johnny! Dad! Please help me! Dad!" and Hershel goes, "Your cat seems distress Lt. Calvin. I don't think you should keep him on base." Very angsty, and Johnny definitely sulks for the rest of the week. Maybe this is the cause for him to turn his attention to Charles, in trying to tell him he's a person? Charles does seem like a cool guy to Johnny at this point. Though, CtM will be on their doorstep timeline wise once this finally happens.
Ah, poor Dave. Got turned into a black cat and recaptured.
The toppats who did this are disappointed that they got a random person, instead of a high ranking member of the military, but they definitely can't turn him back, so they just kind of lie and give him to one of the elites as a present, and definitely don't tell him about the personhood thing. Just a cat with above average intelligence.
The elite enjoys having a cat, but is very annoyed how Dave doesn't really understand how his claws work, they're always out (cause he's in a scary situation, but he's trying to figure it out, unlike Rupert). Eventually, the elite gets fed up with Dave and... declaws him. (If you don't know, you should never declaw a cat, it's not harmless, you are removing their knuckles and they get chronic pain do to it). Dave then runs away from the elite, and gets lost in the airship. His mutilated paws hurt, he's scared, and alone.
Then Henry shows up, and although Dave is very distrustful of him. (trying to hide in the shadows), Henry sees Dave and goes, "He's just like me fr" and kind of steals/brings him back with him after giving Dave a treat and petting him to show he is no harm.
Henry takes surprisingly good care of Dave, and names him Jet after the gemstone. (they're all nerds). He also decides to never take Dave to a vet, cause he's already had enough taken away from him. Henry definitely treats Dave better than he does most stickfigures, going, "He's just a cat". Even going as far to steal things for Dave.
Dave then realizes with horror that if Henry ever found out Dave was a person, he'd be heartbroken. So, he just kind of... twiddles his non-existent thumbs and hopes everything will turn up alright. Cause he does want his stickfigure body back, really! He just doesn't want to hurt Henry's feelings, and he's been so nice to him. Only guy in his corner really.
Overall, the nicest cat of the bunch.
As for the timeline, I think it'd be fun to make it an anthology series where all different timelines can happen with the cats. How things changed, how characters can worsen or become better. I have a really evil idea for TR and TCW of course. Dave should yell at Henry at least once. VH. Just VH. And of course, everyone should participate in TT.