#hey bees

[a-romantic--aromantic]

okay so i know i live in a very particular subset of the aro community but have i? witnessed the death of demiromantic? i never see people talking about it anymore and i rarely see mentions of it and i see very few posts about it.

[feral-renaissance-cat]

Bees set up hive in professor's cello

A university professor has used the cello to research vibrations made by the pollinating insects.

CELLO BEES

[a-romantic--aromantic]

tell me more about your experiences in real life aro spaces please *big pleading eyes*

okay so i am notoriously bad at answering asks because i’m on mobile, but i figured i can take a crack at this one

so i actually wasn’t in explicitly aro spaces, but due to the culture in my area, most lgbt individuals didn’t feel that they needed to use the pride spaces to have the ability to express themselves or feel safe. this very quickly led to queer spaces and clubs being full of aspecs. due to luck, i found my queer club was about 30% aro at the start, and about 50% aro halfway through. the more discussions we had about romanticism and amatonormativity and trying unpack and discover what romantic attraction meant, the more and more people in the club realized that romanticism didnt apply to them in the stereotypical or normative sense, and more and more people came out as aro. there were lots of conversations that included us just pointing out “that sounds like demiromantic” or “is that romantic attraction?” when people said something that sounded like a very aro perspective.

i also didnt join the aspec club at the university nearby because im not a student, but im always really tempted. im curious what a space intended for aspecs is like.

within my experiences, our aro circle was pretty large, and being open about queer identity and connection with our aro identity and community led to me knowing more aros, because you get excited if you overhear it in public, and the more people know about it the more people come out.

my aro circle did have a lot of dating in it, still, but that was because they were all aro4aro if that makes sense? a lot of people realized they were demi. and a close knit aro circle opens up nicely for aro identity being respected And developing romo attraction.

i’ve mentioned before that ive dealt with an exclusionist/aphobe irl, and that im annoyed their “romo aro” flag shows up in google. this person was actively a “chronically online” and “discourse” kind of a person. they held a lot of colonial ideals, were fairly ableist, and pushed a lot of people’s boundaries. this person was one of like 3 that were openly aphobic on campus, and all three of them gave off the sense that they were there to start arguments, not to engage in having a community of any kind. they were ultimately ignored by all the other allospec queer members. by and large, everyone accepted us in their queer spaces, and our “pride alliance” never once suggested that we didnt belong. we spent a lot of time talking about what mattered to us and how our queer identities impacted eachother, and how our communities intersected in various ways.

when the aros broke off to interact independently, our aromanticism was rarely brought up, it just was something that was a fact. we could talk about our struggles with our aro identity, they watched my blog grow, and we always chose activities that were friendly to the folks who didnt want to see romo stuff. ultimately it performed more as a tight friend group than as any sort of overarching activity to participate in. ive found virtual aro communities are pretty similar.

i dont know if this helps at all, but i do want to say you’re not alone in your aro identity, and you’re probably not even the only aro in your area.

for stats, i know:

7 arospecs in highschool , 2 aplspecs

10 arospecs in my close friend group in college , 2 (different) aplspecs

8 arospecs from my pride alliance (not in my friend group), 1 aplspec not in my group

4 arospecs in passing in college

an honestly unknowable number of arospecs from my old job, where ive been recognized from this blog before. these were mostly arospec and queer teenagers that were in awe of seeing a queer and arospec adult.

ive also made multiple online friends in fandom spaces who were not arospec or questioning arospec who recognized me from my blog, and, including both irl and online dating, have dated 9 aros/arospecs, and had qprs with 3 (tho ive had qprs with non arospecs too).

we aren’t an insignificant percent of the population. there’s honestly quite a lot of us and you shouldnt feel alone in this community. because theres so many of us, every aro community you join or create irl will be a little bit different. i live close to an aro organization that is in the nearest major city, and im thinking about volunteering and getting involved there, too. if you want to try making an irl aro community, honestly the easiest way to do it is just to be out and proud. they’ll come to you or you’ll help them realize it.

anyways i dont know if thats what you were asking, but thats everything i have in my brain for now. hope this helps.

💚💚🤍🖤🖤

-ghost

[a-romantic--aromantic]

Hey i dont normally set out blocklists, but alloarophobia is exhausting and not tolerated. There is a user i highly suggest blocking.

You should block from both your main and your aro blog, if possible. To block from a sideblog enter https://tumblr.com/settings/blog/URL and then go to blocked users, and press the edit button. Then just type in said user.

To not start a witch hunt, send an ask and ill reapond privately with the user. Stay safe out there.

And remember, alloarophobia isnt tolerated in our community, by anyone, aro or not. We have to take a stand to support alloaros in our community, because without acknowledging and accepting them our community falls apart.

[a-romantic--aromantic]

New blog: dm @aro-hoard with aromantic (or aplatonic) terms you coin.

I want to have an easy-to-access collection of terms as the rapidly come out. It’s hard to keep up with the constant new terminology and microlabels, and I figured having one place Dedicated to that could help.

Send in/Submit new terms or flags as you make them. As opposed to this blog, each post will only get reblogged Once, so that way it’s easiest to search the blog.

[a-romantic--aromantic]

How does it feel to have a positive impact on more people than your mind could conceive?

you think so? lately i havent been too sure, but i hope what i do helps people. its why i keep doing it. ive been doing projects to help people for like 15 years now. when i was in middle school, i accidentally kickstarted the “positive anonymous sticky notes on lockers” thing because i was getting bullied. it was based on the seniors roses-on-lockers thing id seen a picture if it on tumblr. i made about 5,000 anonymous messages and left them on lockers over the course of a year? and i also had a little anons campaign here on tumblr too :)

a year or so later i heard of some other schools and kids doing it too. my project was in like 2012/2013ish? I did some other similar projects in high school too, but never quite that big until. well i guess this blog?

idk i usually keep going under the “i may only help 1 person, but thats 1 person that wasnt helped before” kind of modality.

im glad you think im helping people, though. :)

i like the idea that im having a positive impact on a ton of people. that feels good. :)

[a-romantic--aromantic]

is it possible to be a romance-repulsed (or otherwise not-romance-favourable) romo aro?

yeah definitely. without a doubt. contradictory identities are everywhere in queer culture and romance repulsed romo aros are no different. heartless romo aro and loveless romo aros are around too, its always really cool to see that kind of stuff.

its not an experience i personally have, but i definitely see it around and know folks who do have that experience. totally normal, complicated queer and aspec identities/experiences are everywhere.

[a-romantic--aromantic]

hey if anyone else is having problems with blogs you know not turning up in search results the same way that theyre supposed to, or not being able to search on blogs with search on,

tumblr @/wip takes questions 6a-6p today! (aka monday est)

if multiple people request knowing if there’s a fix in progress, maybe we’ll get some sort of answer or solution!