Truth is, and I’ve said that before, I’m an asshole.
And I don’t even get consciously why people think that about me. I only infer that from their feedback.
Having ADD automatically equals being on the autism spectrum, and while I usually don’t feel that among friends (because I handpick them carefully—my dear fandom friends you are included in this), it is SO obvious at work.
Like, someone says something at work and I react to it—in my mind only adding details—and suddenly everyone included in the conversation is like “ah, how I love your straightforwardness”.
HOW IS IT STRAIGHTFORWARDNESS IF I AM ONLY FLESHING OUT YOUR OWN GRIEVANCE WITH MORE DETAIL. How is it applaudable. Can someone please explain.
On the last corporate Christmas party, the “compliment” I received the most among the anonymous notes we found in our socks was “I love how blunt you are”.
What does that even mean? How else am I supposed to communicate? I don’t think I’m blunt? I underwent several training sessions about communication this past decade. I know theoretically how to soften it. I am consciously softening it everyday. I am literally spending my daily energy units on softening my communication. WHY ARE PEOPLE STILL TELLING ME I AM BLUNT AND THAT THEY “LOVE IT” IN THE SAME WAY TOURISTS LOVE SOME INDIGENOUS ATTRACTION. Like something completely alien they only periodically love on their vacation.
I think I fit in most of the time, and then I say something and all my colleagues at work burst out laughing and say “that’s so you.”
I am so lost.
