Um could any transfolk tell me if I’m doing this right? I’m not trans and idk if this is fully accurate but this is my interpretation of a character going through these kind of struggles :P
Growing up, he was Cassiopeia, Cass or Cassy for short. A girl. The youngest daughter of The Most Ancient And Noble House of Black, raised and pampered with a silver spoon in her mouth to become a fine lady. She was to get married one day to a nice man—a pure blood, no doubt— and fulfill her role as a wife and mother. Her parents had made sure to drill that into her head any second they could get, and Cass lapped it up eagerly to earn their affection.
So…to think she could be anything else was very hard.
See, Cassiopeia was an excellent actress. She had known that something was different about her from a young age, her gaze lingered at the men’s clothings, and she often found herself staring at her brother’s chest. Praying, wishing, she could wake up just like him one morning.
She had to learn to cope with it sooner or later, so she just pushed it down. She acted like everything was fine until she convinced everyone everything was fine. Until she convinced herself everything was fine.
Any pang of dissatisfaction or uncomfortableness was buried under lace and dresses and makeup, until she couldn’t recognize her true self for years to come.
#
Cassiopeia stared daggers into her reflection, picking apart her features. She dissected the flaws, taking notes of what to improve on in the future. She hated how long her hair was, it got in her way and made her feel like she was suffocating.
And that’s when she saw them.
Scissors, sharp and long, on the counter.
She glanced black and forth between herself and the scissors. Her fingers twitched.
Suddenly she grabbed them, opening them and holding them up to a curl of her hair. Her hands shook nervously. She swallowed.
And she cut.
Once she started, she couldn’t stop. She cut and cut and cut until she wasn’t suffocated anymore and inky black locks covered the surface of the sink. Cassiopeia felt stray hairs tickle and make her skin itch uncomfortably. But she didn’t care, What she saw when she faced the mirror had made her freeze.
There he was. Like the sun peeking through the clouds after a storm. It was him.
Of course, he had always been there. Sitting, waiting. Waiting for a chance to be known.
And finally, here it was.
The haircut wasn’t the best, with jagged and crooked pieces poking out, but he was amazing and radiant nonetheless. And his name was Regulus, it had been for a long time, ever since his parents told him about the stars in the sky. He just knew, Regulus was his name.
“Regulus…” He breathed, bringing his fingers up to trace his reflection. The name felt like a comfort in his lips, he knew it much like a childhood friend.
He began to smiled regardless, euphoric joy overtaking him. Pure happiness.
He could breathe again.
Until there was a creak at the door. Regulus froze, his heart falling to his feet.
“…what the hell have you done, Cass?”
Regulus flipped around to look at who was there.
“Sirius.” He whispered, mortified.
“Your hair…” He said as gently approached him, confused and shocked. “Why?”
“I’m…not. A girl.”
“What?! That’s impossible.”
“No..” Regulus swallowed nervously, panic gripping his heart. “No, no, no. I knew you’d react like this.”
Sirius took a step further, but Regulus backed up against the sink, bracing his hands against the edge.
“Please… explain?”
“You’ll think I’m a freak. A defect.”
Hurt shown a little in Sirius’ eyes for a brief moment, Regulus couldn’t care. He felt very much like a cornered animal.
Sirius took a deep breath, pushing it out slowly. “Cass, I don’t think you’re a freak. I would never. I just need you to explain to me this. All of this. The hair, you. Everything.”
He opened his arms. Regulus hesitated before he fell into them. In the strong embrace of his brother, he felt a little bit braver. Like maybe, just maybe, he could do this. He could tell him.
#
“So… you’re a boy?” Sirius said slowly. They had sat down against the wall as they talked.
“Uh, yeah.”
“And your name is Regulus, not Cassiopeia?”
Regulus nodded slightly.
Sirius mulled it over in his mind, gnawing on his bottom lip like he usually did. When he made up his mind, he slung an arm around Regulus, tucking the boy into his side.
“I’ve always wanted a little brother.”
Regulus smiled a little.
“You’ve always had one, he was only just a little hidden.”
Sirius shrugged “Cassiopeia was a tacky name anyway.”
Regulus laughed lightly, his heart warm from acceptance.
The drive home from work was dull, cloudy, and dark.
James rubbed one hand tiredly at his eyes and sighed. He was exhausted from the extra hours he had put in at the office, and he knew it was showing through sluggish movements, eyebags, and greasy hair. He couldn’t bring himself to care, not when he had no one at home that would complain of his state.
Regulus was knee deep in his studies, so he was probably at his own home with a cup of tea and nursing a sore hand from writing pages of notes. So he was out of the question.
All of his other friends were taken and busy with their partners, Peter was engaged to this nice girl he met at university and Sirius was planning to move in with Remus soon, so they were most likely unavailable.
And that left him alone, again.
The only thing James had to look forward to was putting a frozen pizza in the oven and putting on the 4th season of the bachelor, observing the drama and lives of strangers that were infinitely more interesting than his own. He would watch until he slumped into his couch and eventually fell asleep during the middle of an episode.
Exciting. Thrilling, even.
James stopped at a red light. He drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, glancing out of the window.
To see a young couple making out sloppily, their hands groping each others backsides. It looked less like making out and more like they were parasites, sucking at the other’s mouth as would a leech.
James groaned before putting his head against the wheel, earning a loud hoooonk from his car.
#
He tiredly stuck the key into the keyhole of his apartment, unlocking it and stepping inside.
“I’m home.” He said aloud. He had expected no one to answer, as usual.
The first thing he was met with was the warm, sweet aroma of oranges mixed with burning candles wafting pleasantly to his nose. His home wasn’t as desolate as he thought it’d be, it seemed more cozy instead of cold and sad like usual.
“Welcome home!” Came a soft voice from the kitchen.
James confusingly stepped out of his shoes, shrugging off his work jacket and hanging it on a coat hanger. He then tiredly walked down the hallway and peaked around the corner with caution.
There, Regulus stood in an apron. His black curls had been pinned out of his eyes with hairpins, and there were was flour smudged on his nose and cheeks. He was busy stirring a large pot of what looked like soup.
“It smells amazing in here.” James muttered, making his way to the dining table and slumping over the table.
“Soup’s almost done, love.” Regulus replied, stirring the pot with a wooden spoon. He tasted it, before dumping a spice into the pot and stirring again.
James hummed. “I thought you were busy with exams?”
Regulus shrugged. “Dorcas threatened to shred all my notes if I didn’t spend some time with someone on Valentine’s Day.”
“Valentine’s Day!” James sighed. “I must’ve forgotten. Those extra hours really took it out of me. What’s in the soup?”
“Potatoes, broth, carrots, chicken…” Regulus paused, trying to recall everything he added. “I’m sure there’s more, I must’ve forgotten.”
“Mmm, sounds good.”
Regulus turned off the stove, reaching for a ladle and scooping bits and chunks of soup into two bowls. “I also made Orange Muffins for desert.”
Regulus set a bowl in front of James, which he took gratefully, before setting next to the man with his own.
James eagerly stuck a spoonful of soup into his mouth, before yelping in pain and doubling over.
Regulus let out a little laugh. “I just got it off the stove, my love. It’s hot.”
James rolled his eyes, before blowing on another spoonful and biting into a chunk of potato.
The meal tasted like home and snow-days spent inside and being fussed over while being sick. The salt in the broth took him back to his parent’s house, where everything was warm and fine and not so lonely. When he didn’t have to overwork himself in order to avoid the growing void that had hallowed him out. When time’s were simpler, before everyone grew up and grew apart, busy with their own lives. Times when he was a kid who had no worries other than finals.
He hadn’t realized how much he missed it.
Before he knew it, James was crying. Tears leaked from his eyes and he quickly shoved another bite into his mouth.
“What? Was the meal not good?!” Regulus asked worriedly. “James?”
But James cried and cried. He couldn’t help it, he cried until his nose began to run. He cried until he began to hiccup. All while Regulus continued to watch.
Regulus a gentle arm around his head, bringing his face against his shoulder. James buried his face into the crook of his neck and clung to the other man.
Regulus held him like that until the tears in his eyes dried.
#
Later in the night after they put out the candles and ate dinner, they laid with their legs tangled on the couch. They were watching some random movie about the power of Valentines Day, and it was bad. James listened to Regulus’ heart beat, his head laid against the other’s chest as Regulus rubbed his back.
“This is a stupid movie.” Regulus muttered sleepily.
James let out a little chuckle. “At least it has a good message.”
“The message is such a cliche, though.”
“What should it be then? ‘Don’t burn the Orange Muffins?’”
“That! Was an accident, Potter!” Regulus sputtered and James laughed. “I was busy with you!”
“We didn’t even do anything…yet.” James smirked.
Regulus batted him in the head.
“Mhm, yet. Maybe if you’re lucky.”
James raised himself up to be closer to Regulus’ face, to the point they could feel each other’s breath. “I’ve been working real hard. Please?”
Regulus rolled his eyes before crashing their lips together, kissing him senseless.
Jegulus Drabble because I havent written anything yet today and I need to feel self fulfilled
This post was brought to you by the standards I, and only I, hold myself to.
Enjoy
Regulus Arcturus Black grew up in a house where bad was in the air he breathed.
He had never really known good, but he knew bad. He knew it like an old, childhood, friend that he spent all his time with. It had cozied up to his side on countless nights after nightmares had terrorized him.
Bad was the shadow that sat at the edge of his bed. Bad was a whip on the back of ankles, leaving little neat, silver scars. Bad draped itself over his shoulders like a scarf wherever he went, where it would then eventually would radiate and influence the people around him.
Regulus had hated it for most of his life, but he had grown used to it eventually. He even found himself growing comfortable with it.
Until on a day where it was gloomy and rainy, where a boy made of stardust and everything good in the world strutted down the hallway with his entourage.
James Potter was the sun. A being of light and warmth and life with a presence so big no one could ignore how he shone. He attracted people, friends and foes, like the sun’s gravity attracted the planets. His radiant smile, all white, pearly, teeth, was enough for everyone to feel a strange fluttering in their chest.
When Regulus first saw him, his sucked a sharp breath in as he passed. He clutched his book tightly to his chest. A shiver ran through his body as the nasty shadows that clung to his shoulder faded away and were eradicated.
He couldn’t bring himself tear his eyes away from the glow.
Regulus didn’t have a word for him at first, but his brain soon supplied one easily.
Good. It whispered hesitantly. The word sounded clumsy on its lips, as if it the word was in a foreign language and it was scared to mispronounce it.
“I get the yellow ones!” Sirius exclaimed as he reached over to snatch the bag full of yellow sweets from his boyfriend’s hand. Remus leaned away, holding the bag far above his head and out of his reach.
“I called dibs on the yellow ones Padfoot.” He replied irritably. James had gotten red, Regulus, blue, Sirius was left with green. He hated that color; it made his skin crawl.
But Sirius just grinned playfully, taking Remus’ reluctance as a challenge rather than a rejection.
“Oh but you love me, don’t you?” He asked sweetly, batting his eyelashes.
Remus sputtered, a red tint to his cheeks. “I- what-“
“See, someone who loved me truly would give me any candy I want. Isn’t that right Prongs?” He asked, looking back to James.
James snuck a small glance at Regulus at his side when Sirius said the word “loved.” His eyes quickly snapped back to Sirius,’ his best friend cocking his eyebrow suspiciously. James’ licked his lips, stretching them into a playful grin.
“Why of course Padfoot.” He said with mock-sincerity . He looked to Remus, who looked nervous and confused. “Moony, you wouldn’t want Sirius to feel unloved would you?!”
Remus let out a little growl. “Oh fine!” He tossed the bag of yellow sweets to Sirius, who laughed and pecked his boyfriend on the cheek in appreciation.
“Going soft are we, Moony?” James teased, casually popping a red candy into his mouth.
Remus merely glared back at both James and Regulus. He smirked knowingly. “I don’t want to hear about ‘going soft’ from you of all people, Prongs.”
James soon began to choke on the candy, hacking and coughing. Regulus briefly brushed a comforting hand against his back as he doubled over, before finally spitting the candy out onto the path they were walking from Honeydukes.
Sirius made a show of gagging, before Remus quickly batted him over the head.
As James came back up, Regulus suddenly spoke up. “Merlin!” He said in that soft, voice of his. “I forgot I needed more quills, you don’t mind if James comes with me to get some, do you? I remember him saying something about new quills too.”
James looked at him in confusion. “Quills? Wha-“ Regulus jabbed him in the ribs. “Ow! Oh. Ohhh.” He cleared his throat, pasting an awkward smile on his face. “Ah, yes. Yes I needed some more quills. Very important.”
Remus and Sirius looked at eachother, before looking back at them.
“Uh yeah, sure?” Sirius replied, unsure.
Remus smirked. “Have fun, quill shopping!”
And the two of them walked away together, Sirius laughing at something he said. Remus smiled at him softly.
Regulus immediately grabbed James by the hand, leading him away with urgency. James just followed him with a goofy smile on his face.
They walked until they found a suitable alleyway to hide away in. Regulus looked around cautiously, before dragging James into the alleyway by the hand.
James clumsily pushed him to the wall, using his large, muscled, arms to lean up flush against him.
Regulus looked at him through his lashes, face carefully neutral. His hands wandered across James’ chest. “You. Are a bad liar.”
James just grinned before Regulus yanked him down by the tie, forcing his lips to crash against his.
He pushed him against the wall harder, deepening this kiss and also provoking a small grunt from Regulus. James’ skin buzzed pleasantly, as if he had took few shots of fire whisky. Except this wasn’t firewhiskey, this was so much better.
They quickly pulled away from eachother, gasping for breath. James leaned for to kiss him on the corner of his mouth, trailing down his pale skin.
“Remus knows.” He murmured in between each kiss.
“…Maybe.” Regulus replied, amused. He took in a sharp gasp when James got to a particularly sensitive spot under his ear.
“I wonder how.”
“Hmmm…” Regulus hummed. He lazily brushed a hand underneath his shirt. All toned, tanned, smooth skin. He had always loved James’ skin; it was always so nice to feel and look at. James let out a little shudder.
“Your hands are cold, love.” James said under his breath. He grabbed the slender hand trailing along his stomach, bringing it to his mouth and kissing each and every knuckle. He made sure to look Regulus in the eyes as he did. Regulus smiled softly, shyly. He looked away.
“Could you forgive me for telling him?” Regulus asked, biting his lip.
James grinned. “Oh, I suppose. It’ll cost you, though.”
Regulus didn’t get to reply before James’ lips was on his again.
#
“How long does it take to buy quills?” Remus asked irritably. He kicked a stone in frustration.
Sirius snorted. “Knowing Prongs, he’s probably got distracted by quidditch supplies on the way home.”
“You know Regulus would never allow that.”
Sirius hummed thoughtfully. “They could’ve stopped by Zonko’s?“
Remus just shrugged.
Regulus and James walked up to them, their hands lacking the supposed “quills” they so urgently needed to buy.
Sirius’ eyes narrowed as they approached. Their clothes were ruffled, their lips puffy and red.
But what really made him suspicious was the slight purple tint to their lips.
Sirius suddenly stormed up to James, yanking him by the collar.
apology fic for all the hearts I broke with my last one shot LOL
Wolfstar fluff yummy!!!!
tiny warning for some suggestive content wink wink nudge nudge
Remus awkwardly stumbled through the long, uncut grass that tickled his ankles. Sirius led him through with a gentle hold on his hand, for Remus was blindfolded and told that “You’ll like it Moony, I promise!”
The breeze tousled his brown hair and mud squelched under his boots. The scent of early-morning dew hung thick in the air and Remus inhaled the comforting and crisp smell. The only thing he could hear was the soft chirping of nearby birds, and Sirius’ soft breathing.
They trekked through the mud, dodging and weaving their way through trees, when suddenly, Sirius brought a hand to his shoulders.
“Psst, Moony!” Sirius said, hardly containing his excitement. “You can take off your blindfold now.”
“It better be well wort-“ Remus began, but he cut himself off when he ripped off the blindfold.
The view was breathtaking.
The sun barely sat on the horizon, bathing the sky in a purple hue. It wasn’t quite morning yet, so he could still see the stars in the sky, twinkling at him.
As the sun rose, it showered golden rays onto the land. The large lake in front of him sparkled and shone in orange and purple. The trees branches waved in the wind as flocks of birds crowed and took flight.
Sirius grinned at him. “You should see your face right now!”
Remus grinned back, speechless, as Sirius threw off his shirt, flinging it onto the bank.
The two of them stripped to their underthings. Remus’ shuddered as a breeze swept across his bare skin. But Sirius, being Sirius, treaded through the grass away from the lake.
Remus cocked a suspicious brow at him. “Got someplace to be in your boxers?”
“Oh to entertain the masses, of course.” Sirius grinned wickedly, taking a few more careful steps backwards. As if bracing himself. He stole a quick Look at Remus. “Watch this Moony.”
And he suddenly took off in a mad dash through the grass, feet slapping loudly against the ground. Remus couldn’t tear his eyes away. The boy laughed wildly, eyes twinkling with the thrill, and dived into the lake with a small splash!
When he emerged, he let out a startled, girlish yelp.
“Thats fucking cold!” Sirius shrieked, rubbing his arms. His long, black, soaked hair had stuck his his face and head. It look more like a helmet than hair, like that.
Remus laughed at him as he tentatively stuck his foot into the water. A little shudder ran through him at the early morning chill.
“That’s what you get, Padfoot!” He teased.
But Sirius had other plans.
He swam threateningly over to Remus.
“Oh no, no you don’t-“ He said, scooting slightly away.
Sirius smiled mischievously at him, growing closer, and closer, and closer…
“Back away Padfoot-“
And, quick as a whip, he stuck out a slender arm and yanked Remus into the lake with him.
When Remus emerged from the water, his teeth chattering, he let out a girlish scream of his own.
“P- p- pad f- foot you f- f- fucking-“ He reached an arm and out and splashed the other boy. Sirius let out a little shriek of surprise. “WANKER!”
Sirius splashed back rapidly, flicking his hands against the surface of the water, and Remus ducked. He emerged quickly behind Sirius as the other boy’s head whipped around to see where he might come from. Remus quickly wrapped two arms around Sirius’ slender waist, before picking him up and body slamming him into the water.
He let out a proud laugh, successfully enacting his revenge, when he noticed something.
Sirius wasn’t coming back up.
He waited, and waited. But he wouldn’t come up.
Panic suddenly grappled his heart.
HE HAD JUST DROWNED HIS BEST FRIEND.
Where would you even hide a body? How was he going to live with the guilt of murdering Sirius Black?! Oh, he would surely be sent to Azkab-
When suddenly, Sirius’ head emerged the water. He whipped his soaking hair back in a shining arc, wiping at his face with his hands and breathing heavily.
Remus let out a little sigh of relief, before putting on a teasing smile. He slapped the boy’s shoulder as he began to laugh. “You! Asshole!”
“Oh I totally got you there!” Sirius cackled. “I bet you were wetting your tightie whities, Moony! Absolute gold!”
Remus scoffed. “I think you’ve become far too cheeky recently, Padfoot. how about I teach you a lesson?”
He didn’t even give him a head start before Remus tackled him.
#
They wrestled, played, and then wrestled some more until it was near noon and they were all tuckered out. Still in their underwear, they laid lazily in the grass, watching the clouds drift by in the sky. Remus’ bare skin soaked up the rays, letting the warmth seep through to his bones.
Sirius pointed at a cloud. “That one kind of looks like a rat. Like wormtail.”
“You’re right. If you turn your head a little, it looks a bit like a fat snake. With mouse ears.”
There was a beat of silence. Remus pointed at the sky.
“That one is shaped a bit like a dragon ” He murmured.
“Like Mcgonagoll.”
Remus let out at a little chuckle. “Or Lily after James tries to talk to her.”
Sirius hummed thoughtfully before turning his head to look at Remus. He took note of the little details on each part of his face, committing them to memory. Scars stretching across his face, long lashes, a little bump in his nose, full lips. He looked especially long at his lips. They were chapped and a bit red in different places like he had been chewing on them. And there was a little mole, right near his hairline.
Remus turned his head to face him back, but Sirius’ gaze was still on those lips of his.
“We should really dress.” He whispered as a blush crept up his neck. “We don’t want to catch a cold.”
That seemed to have snapped Sirius out of it, his eyes meeting Remus’ immediately. Little shards of cloudy, blue, ice. “Hmm, yes. Let’s.”
#
Watching Sirius get dressed felt a lot different than watching him get undressed.
Strangely, this felt more intimate. Even though Remus had seen him dress multiple times in the past. They were boys living in the same dorm, so of course he had. But this time felt just…different. His eyes lingered in places they shouldn’t linger, and his hands twitched with want when they should be better occupied with his own clothes.
Sirius was in the middle of buckling his belt when he caught Remus staring. His eyebrows shot up a bit in surprise, and Remus went ramrod straight. He quickly looked away.
They continued to dress in silence, when Sirius suddenly spoke
“Moony?”
“Yes?”
He gnawed nervously at his lips as he stepped his feet into his black converse. “Is it queer to…to have the urge to kiss or hold hands with your mates?”
“I’m not sure I’m the one who you should be asking this.” Remus pulled his jumper over his head. It was one of his more worn, and comfortable ones. It was warm from soaking in the sun.
“Oh.”
Remus licked his lips. “What are you trying to…?”
“I’d rather not say.”
But Remus knew exactly was he was trying to say. And he knew that, deep down, he felt the same. But there was no way. No way, he would’ve been bold enough to ask.
He looked up at him. Remus studied him, his face and his hair and his shirtless chest. Tension hung thick in the air.
Remus had the sudden urge to walk over there and grab him by the face, tipping his beautiful lips to meet his.
An urge he had acted on before he could think better of it.
Sirius’ long fingers raked at the hair on his head as Remus’ hands found their way to his bare waist. He felt Sirius shudder as he rubbed his rough thumbs in gentle circles, letting his hands trail down down down, inch by inch.
Every single sense was full of just Sirius Sirius Sirius. Remus could still taste the eggs Sirius had for breakfast, smell the flowery shampoo he used for his hair. Feeling his buttery soft skin under his calloused hands was intoxicating.
Kissing Sirius was electrifying, just like his personality, and it left Remus hungry for more. Like a starving man at a banquet.
They broke away, gasping and staring at eachother in wonder. Waiting for the other to make the next move. Remus’ skin buzzed with excitement when he noticed how swollen and red Sirius’ lips were because of him.
“We have to stop.” Sirius gulped nervously. “We have to stop before- before it all becomes too much.”
But Remus’ hand accidentally drifted to Sirius’ waistband, and they both knew they were done for.
#
After they were done, Remus laid his head across Sirius’ bare chest. Both of them breathed heavily. Remus thought he might be ready for a nap once they get back. He felt the rise and fall of Sirius’ chest, listened to the even beating of his heart, and decided that the walk back could be stretched out a little later.
“This... doesn’t make us queer does it?” Sirius asked suddenly. His voice was soft and a bit hoarse.
Remus shrugged against him, leaning his face further against his chest. He savored the warmth Sirius' skin pressed into his face. “Who cares.” He replied with a yawn.
And that was that.
#
The next day, everyone they knew questioned them on why they were suddenly sick at the same exact time. It wasn’t even flu season! But their shared response was always the same: a little shy smirk towards eachother, before quickly looking away and then brushing off the questions with “No idea!” Or “How weird is that?”
And from that day on, Sirius always sat next to Remus at lunch and dinner and breakfast, sneakily holding his hand under the table. Remus always made sure to sign off the notes they shared in class with a little heart.
And every spring, atleast for one day, they would make up an excuse as to why they had to sneak off to the same lake far away from their school at an ungodly hour in the morning.
The music that boomed in the Gryffindor common room bounced off the walls. Remus could feel the vibrations in his feet.
Gryffindor had won against Ravenclaw in Quidditch on a Friday. So that obviously meant that there was to be a party hosted in the Gryffindor common room. James, being the star chaser, lapped up the attention. All night he had been receiving high fives and congratulations with a drink in his hand, Peter lingering beside him.
Remus had never disliked parties, there was always good booze that the Prewetts would pinch from The Hog’s Head and plenty of dope to go around, but he had never liked them either.
Usually, Sirius and James were the life of the party. But while they thrived in it, Remus never craved that kind of attention. The feeling of too many eyes on him made his skin feel all tight and hot, and his hands got clammy too.
This was different though, he had Sirius at his side to keep him company. Sirius wore his signature muggle-leather jacket. His eyes were lined with eyeliner that made him look similar to a cat, and his lids sparkled with glitter that Mary had practically begged him to add. “It would totally complete the look! Come on, Sirius! You’d look hot!” She had said.
And she was right. He did look hot.
Remus took advantage of the way Sirius happily and drunkenly chatted with Marlene, nursing a party cup full of fire whisky. He let out a laugh at something she said, tipping his head back and exposing the pale skin of his neck.
Remus gulped down some of his own fire whiskey.
“Hello?” Marlene said smugly, despite her voice slurring a little. Her red lips were pulled into a smirk. Her eyelids glittered with purple eyeshadow. “Remus? Is there something on Sirius’ neck you’d like to share?”
His eyes immediately shot up to hers. “I- Uh-“
“Oh no, do tell,” Sirius spoke up. He too had a slight slur to his voice. “Is there something on my neck, Moony?”
Sirius winked at Remus coyly.
He knew. He knew and he was toying with him about it! The asshole.
Remus downed his drink, before getting close to his face. Sirius just grinned lazily at him.
“You’re a prick.”
And Remus brought his lips to his, Sirius quick to kiss him back. Marlene let out a squeal of surprise.
“Oh wow- you’re totally bent for eachother!” She laughed drunkenly as they pulled apart. Remus smiled dopily, grabbing at Sirius’ waist. “Kiss again! Again!”
And when they did, Marlene cheered and laughed.
Kissing Sirius felt like fireworks. It felt like sparklers and rollercoasters and thrill. Remus could taste the whiskey on his tongue, and it made him pull him closer by the waist deepen the kiss.
“If you guys end up shagging I’m gonna never let you live it down!” Marlene teased.
Sirius pulled away, turning his head to talk to Marlene. “If, my dear, if. Remus has an unlucky streak, I’m afraid.” He slurred, giggling. Marlene laughed at that.
“Yes, yes, if.” Remus gestured away. “Now, Marlene, if you would mind? I’d like to make out with this dickhead some more.”
“Yeah, alright. You guys kissing makes me feel left out anyway, I’m gonna go find Dorcas. Cheers!” And she disappeared into the crowd.
#
James was halfway through his 4th cup of fire whiskey, and he had a pleasant buzz in his skin.
His eyes scoured across the sea of bodies, searching for Sirius and Remus. He figured he should probably check up on them.
When his eyes picked them out, his jaw just about dropped.
Remus had Sirius pushed against the wall, Sirius’ hands in his messy brown hair.
Drunk and making out at a party? James thought evilly. Oh he knew exactly what to do.
And he made his way to the DJ station, pushing through the crowd.
#
“This next song goes out to my mates who look like are having an amazing time,” He said, using his wand as a microphone. He snuck a sneaky look at Sirius and Remus in the corner, one that Sirius caught. He grinned. “So what? You together or what?”
The room quieted ever so slightly as Remus and Sirius jumped from each other, having been caught. People always seemed to just listen to James no matter where he went, that was how it has always been.
“Are we?” Sirius asked Remus under his breath.
Remus nodded slightly, breathing heavily.
“HELL YEAH WE ARE!!!”
“Cheers then mates!” James shouted back, lifting up his cup as the crowd cheered in response.
“Jesus, Reg! Slow down! You’ll get us pulled over!” Sirius yelped, gripping onto the seat to keep himself anchored.
“Shut up.” The boy said calmly, before harshly slamming on the breaks at a red light. Everyone (Lily, James, Dorcas, Remus, Marlene, Peter, Sirius.) lurched forward at the sudden stop, letting out little cusses and cries of protest. The car was filled to the brim with bodies, many having to sit on each other’s laps or in other uncomfortable and awkward places to fit in.
“How come Dorcas gets to sit Bagsy?” Peter complained. He was in the back, sitting with his knees to his chest on the floor in front of James (and Marlene, considering that she was on his lap.)
“Because I like her better than you lot.” He hummed thoughtfully. “Minus Remus.”
Sirius suddenly spoke up. “Oi! You pick Remus over your own brother?”
“Remus is nice to me. And don’t act like you didn’t do the same to me with Potter.” Regulus spat, gripping the steering wheel tightly.
Sirius was quiet at that.
“Baby Black’s got a point!” Marlene cackled. She slung her arm around James’ neck as she kicked her feet over Lily’s legs casually. “I just wish it was Dorcas’ lap I was in. No offense, James.”
James snickered, leaning his head against the window. “None taken.”
“You can take my place!” Peter offered desperately. “My ass is gonna be so sore after this.”
“We don’t want to know about your ass Pete.” Sirius said dryly. Everyone laughed at that, even Remus in the trunk behind the seats. He was high and lying on a few pillows and a blanket they had given him to coax him there.
As the laughter died down, Lily spoke up. “Uh hey Regulus? there’s a cop over there, slow do-“
She didn’t get to finish her sentence before the sirens were blaring.
Red and blue whirled around as Regulus began to pull to the side.
“Shit- fuck! Dorcas, get me a read on this guy.” Regulus ordered as the cop got out of his car. Everyone watched in silence as the man strutted to their own car.
“That’s a gay man if I’ve ever seen one.” Dorcas answered.
“Perfect.”
Regulus rolled down the window as the cop approached, taking a quick deep breath in before leaning back against the seat.
“Can I help you, officer?” Regulus asked sweetly, batting his long lashes.
All the blood left Sirius’ face as Lily slapped a hand against her mouth, stifling laughter.
“D- do you know why I stopped you?” The cop stuttered. He wore thick sunglasses that he let slip down his nose to get a better look at the beautiful man in the front seat.
“I have no idea. Please, explain.” Regulus asked innocently.
“You were speeding.”
“Hmm, was I?”
The cop gulped nervously. “Yes, you were.”
“You look like a nice man, Officer…?”
“Davis, Officer Davis.”
“Officer Davis, see, I’m a little short right now. I simply cannot afford to get a ticket. You know, I wouldn’t usually resort to this but… surely there’s another form of…” Regulus looked him up and down. “…payment?”
The cop coughed roughly into his hands. Lily and Marlene were now biting on their sleeves to keep from bursting out loud. Sirius looked about ready to cry.
“I- uh-“ The cop spluttered.
Regulus snagged a stray piece of paper, scribbling a random number down. He slid it towards the man. “Can I go now?”
The man snatched it up quickly. “Yes! Yes, have a nice day.”
Regulus rolled up the window and drove off.
Lily and Marlene exploded into raucous laughter, unable to hold it back anymore.
“What the fuck,” Sirius whispered in pure shock,” did I just witness?”
“That was fucking BRILLIANT!” Marlene cackled, slapping James’ shoulder. She wiped some of the tears from her eyes. “Oh my god, I’m never letting you live this down.”
“I think I’m gonna be sick.” Sirius said.
Regulus’ ears burned with embarrassment, his eyes strictly on the road. “Not a word. To anyone about this.”
“Yeah- yeah alright officer.” Lily teased.
“Shut. Up.”
“Oh officer! Officer! Let me repay you!” Marlene cried, clinging to James.
“Yes! Anything you want, beautiful man!” James wailed back.
The whole car broke down into giggles, save for Regulus.
James had dreamed of a house with a wrap-around porch for as long as he could remember.
He had always wanted to get married to a nice girl, maybe even have a kid or two. A boy with brown eyes like his. He’d definitely would’ve liked a dog he could walk while he was on his morning run.
Everything was cookie-cutter for James, he’s always thought that that’s what his life ought to be and what it would inevitably would become. He was sure of it. Or used to be sure of it.
It was on a gloomy and rainy day when his world flipped upside down.
James bit his tongue in concentration as he stirred the potion in his cauldron. For some reason, it wouldn’t turn color! Maybe he should add some more lavender? Or maybe stir in a different directi-
“Regulus! Flawless work!” Professor Slughorn suddenly called out as he walked past a desk at the back.
James’ eyes snapped to him, how could someone have finished so quickly?, and his breath was immediately lost.
Regulus was beautiful. Utterly, undeniably, stunning. Milky pale skin dotted with moles, cloudy blue eyes, and black curls that made James’ hands twitch a little. They looked so, so, soft, James wanted to run his hands through them.
He looked like art. Gorgeous and ethereal. A beautiful portrait, but not painted with paints. Something more special. More valuable. His skin was painted with moonlight, his eyes painted with sapphires, his mouth painted with raspberries.
Regulus had the face of a portrait painted by a lover, rather than a commissioned painter.
James hadn’t realized he was staring until the boy met his eyes. Regulus scowled at him, despite the pink tint that dusted his cheeks. James jumped, before quickly turning back to his own cauldron.
He tried to focus back onto his potion, he really tried, but he just couldn’t. His chest had this fluttering feeling that made him want to squirm, and his insides felt a little like jelly.
Never mind the conflict that raged in his mind.
How can you feel attracted to Regulus Black ?!? That’s your best mate’s brother-
But look at him!
That doesn’t matter! He’s your mate’s brother!
Those curls, they must feel amazing.
Can you stop being an idiot for once?
He’s just so pretty.
James was truly fighting a war with himself, in his own mind. And he would fight the great fight, cheeks burning as he tried to focus on his text book (and failed,) and ultimately getting nothing done.
#
As James, packed his books into his bag, somebody approached him.
He lifted his head up to look, and damn near fell off of his chair when he saw it was Regulus.
“Potter.” He spat, his pretty face screwed up like he smelled something particularly bad. “I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t stare at me in class, it’s creepy.”
And he walked off, with a flourish of his cape. Before James could answer.
But all he could think of was what he sounded like. Soft and beautiful, with the barest hints of a French accent. James had a feeling that depending on how Regulus said it, he’d fold and do just about anything for him.
On that day, James hadn’t known it yet, but his plan for a wife and kids seemed farther away than it used to be. In its stead was something different. Perhaps something made of moonlight. Or sapphires, or maybe even raspberries.
