#history-taking

[er-cryptid]

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[med-struck]

I am very disappointed in myself.

I have written so many histories till now and there is not even one there which i can proudly present in front of the teacher. I always seem to forget to ask a point or two (or ten. mostly ten. mostly always ten).

Tomorrow I have to make a perfect history inshaAllah.

The thing is: my brain is not a USB device. You can’t just copy-paste stuff from book to there. Yes, I can think; my brain is way cooler than the USB device in that way. But I can’t possibly retain everything that’s taught to me, and that too so quickly. I’m a human so I’m very much prone to make mistakes. But ugh, these mistakes annoy me. The other students in my class don’t usually make them. Or perhaps they do, in ways I don’t see. 

[medicineinmoderation]

My gingivitis patient

It seemed that today I had to do a dentist's job. So the patient came in with pretty severe gum inflammation and pus, rotting teeth everywhere.

For several reasons I won't get into, we needed to prescribe him antibiotics before we could drain the abscess.

Naturally I ask him about allergies, current prescriptions, etc., and he starts talking about one antibiotic that gave him a "weird reaction" with an upset stomach. I ask him if it was a penicillin antibiotic, he says yes.

After the doc comes in to assess, all of this gets walked back - "I never had a penicillin allergy!" He then says he has no idea what antibiotic he reacted to.

As frustrating as it was to deal with a patient like this, honestly though, I think I'm still to blame, for not seeking clarification. Fortunately this doesn't hurt anyone, yet. Lately I've gotten pretty comfortable with patient histories, but this was a pretty important lesson that I still have a lot to learn and even more to practice.

Sometimes, a stark reminder is needed that there isn't room for complacency in medicine. I also have to run to stand still...

[medicineinmoderation]

This got passed around amongst our classmates back in September and is surprisingly apt. I've been trying to recall my med experience in 2012, which really wasn't much, but this video stuck out. I don't know the guy who made it, but I highly recommend watching it, it is hilarious.

A lot of people talked to us about an "imposter syndrome," where people in the medical field are scared of being outed for being a fraud. Apparently it continues to affect doctors years into their practice, not just medical students.

In the past ~4.5 months I have questioned my career path every night, and arrive at the conclusion that I want to do medicine more than anything else. I have no idea if I'll ever be good at it. It might be a little naive to say this (and if I ever look back on this, I'll probably scoff) but I do enjoy history-taking. Asking some right questions has helped me put together a lot of answers and diagnoses for some real patients with real conditions. And sometimes, I see them get better over a couple of weeks.

It's nice to have wins like this at the clinic but I don't like to think that one "beautiful moment" should justify a major life decision as the right choice. It seems risky to tie my convictions to something so external. I've been trying to figure this out for myself but there's something else driving me, pushing me to be better and I don't know what it is.

Whatever it is, combined with the competitive spirit of my class, I am at my best in these last few months. Until med school I've always had to repress my competitive side, but I feel like I can unleash myself now. It's taken a couple of months for me to finally accept this, but...I'm kind of a gunner. If this makes me a better skilled doctor, though, why would I settle for achieving less?