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Imbolc
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Why is it that so many people in academia shame undergrads for not knowing shit? Like, idk but it seems to me it’s not helpful to people trying to learn to be condescending and rude, and it makes it especially hard for people like me, who struggle with the social stuff even when people are kind, to even consider asking questions at all. And a lot of the time it’s the senior students causing the negative atmosphere, too. It’s not like that everywhere but in my experience, academia is full of toxicity. This is totally a callout post for my own bio dept.
Any other potential researchers out there, just know, if you’re ever in a lab with me you never gotta worry, because I will be kind and patient and meet you where you’re at. Let’s spread some positivity out there.
whenever I'm going through something hard, this video comes to mind. it helps me hang on.
i stand at the edge of this season, cradling the fragments of who i’ve been. it feels like a quiet ache, a yearning for what was and what could be. in the hush of morning, i find the whispers of change lacing through my thoughts, each moment a fleeting leaf carried by a gentle breeze.
sometimes, it feels as if my offerings are mere shadows, insufficient against the vastness of what i desire. yet in this stillness, there’s a promise wrapped in vulnerability, the soft glow of renewal lingering just beyond my reach. maybe transformation doesn’t need to be grand; perhaps it’s enough to begin quietly, to cherish small victories, even when they feel muted against the noise of expectation.
on freedom and humanity
There is no such thing as freedom. Ultimately, we, everyone, exist in a cage. That cage isn’t always literal, with hard iron bars and a key that you can hold. Sometimes, it’s the barriers that our own minds struggle to overcome. Sometimes, it’s the restrictions that others place on us, their best attempt to clip our wings.
When you try to free yourself (to steal the key, to pick the lock)-- I think that that’s the best example of humanity’s stubbornness and, yes, insanity that I can think of. Because, we know (or are about to learn) that even if you manage to break those bars, new ones appear like our efforts are nothing. And yet, for all that, we never stop trying– we never stop hoping.
So, the moral: if you don’t stop trying, if you never give up, you can consider yourself about as close to freedom as you’ll ever get.