seen from United Arab Emirates
seen from Brazil
seen from South Africa
seen from United States
seen from Poland
seen from Czechia
seen from South Africa
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Czechia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from China
seen from Poland
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Czechia
seen from United States
seen from United States
Boo looks so cute and innocent, giving me or anyone his toy... until he starts rubbing off on it. #deceptivelycute #weirdsextoy #hormonehell https://www.instagram.com/thebirdybabe/p/BvUHM0znMNI/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=5xel3eipfo9p
This is the only time I’m glad it’s hormone season... Misha escaped from his cage and apparently spent the whole afternoon in his “nest” sitting on his “baby”. Nothing chewed up that I can tell! Whew! #livingwithdinosaurs #birdescape #hormonehell #cockatoo #cockadrama #mishabird #moluccancockatoo #birdsareweird https://www.instagram.com/p/B5WMxyCHBQM/?igshid=15mn5lymc1686
Boo and Arthur want to have babies... #nogirlshere #bothboys #gaybirds #goffins #eviltwins #nesting #cockatoos #weirdos #cockatoolife #hormonehell
Yesterday Misha thought that he’d finally found his babies and refused to get off the stroller. He bit me and my friend and I finally got him to step back on me by putting a stick in his mouth (since he can only bite one thing at a time). #moluccancockatoo #mishamonday #moluccanmonday #moluccancockatoosofinstagram #cockatoosofinstagram #cockatoo #hormonehell #notmykids #nothiskids #confusedbird #loveskids #cockatootantrum #cutekids #kidswithbirds #trainingfail #angrybird
Misha is testing me!!! 💩 #adolescence #puberty #cockatoos #socute #cuteanimals #cutestpets #lovehim #littleshit #mishamisha #mishabird #moluccancockatoo #cockatoosofinstagram #hormonehell #hormonal #butternutsquash #kitchenmess #assholepets
Highway to Hormonal Hell and Back!
When I last blogged, it was the middle of June (2016) and it had been several days since I had exercised. I have been addicted to lifting and working out for years so it was torturous to be restricted to only walking (very light cardio) for almost three weeks. It was a mental game every-single-day to fight the thought of ‘being lazy’ and not lifting weights. Shifting my mindset was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Think about what you love to do. Now think about stopping it completely.
Why you ask? Very good question - and thus, I begin my story of what I am calling “Hormonal Hell”. I have several goals for why I began this whole journey but the ultimate was to improve the overall function of my entire body and rid of the sciatic pain derived from a protruding disc in my back. Once that path was set, I would continue to reach for and hit my progressing goals (looking awesome).
After losing 24 pounds (you can read about that here) my coach Eric and I began the ‘gainz progression’ and I put on about 8 pounds (hence the name - gainz). The goal during this phase was to build my posterior chain (glutes and hamstrings), continue to strengthen where I was weak (stabilizers), and build my core. While I gained significant amount during this phase - we noticed hormonal shock rearing its head. I also turned 30 in July and spent lots of time with my daughter.
I keep track of everything. If you do not - you should. I do this for my journey’s sake, my coach’s sake, to continue my education and for these posts. This includes tracking my weight at the same time every morning, all supplemental changes, macro and calorie changes, any symptoms and notes. Here is a list of the symptoms I began experiencing around this time in my progression. Brace yourself:
Symptoms
Painful vagina
Hair loss
Bloat/weight gain (especially stomach and waist)
Short temper/loss of patience
Hot flashes
Sleep interruptions
Fatigue
Memory loss
Brain fog
Migraines
Dizzy upon standing
Digestive issues - Progenex (whey protein)
That is quite a list, right? It sounds like the rolling ‘may cause’ narrative credits at the end of a pharmaceutical commercial. Thus - my hormonal hell. We need hormones - they are responsible for our bodily functions in several ways - but if they are not working together at an optimal level, it can be a rocky road. One of the books I read that was very enlightening during this time was What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Premenopause. A great recommendation by my coach. I was experiencing several of the ‘premenopausal’ symptoms so we knew something odd was happening with my hormones.
He and I analyzed my symptoms in correlation to the current changes in my life and made the proper adjustments with nutrition, supplements, and exercise. I am amazed by his mind and his ability to connect the dots when it comes to the human body. If you were not proactive in the beginning, make sure you are reactive. I was sure to tell him everything (holding back anything is detrimental to yourself) and he made suggestions and corrections for everything such as:
Reactive Changes
Stop exercising - my body needed to rest and avoid the stress of exercise. Your body is affected by stress - this includes more than just the emotional/mental stress you are thinking about. Exercise is a big stressor to my body. Try reading The Stress Of Life - it is a great book but make sure you can completely focus on what you are reading at the time - it is intensely literate.
Stopped birth control and began Progesterall (natural progesterone cream) at the proper time in my cycle. I do not recommend you do this without guidance of someone like my coach. I can tell you that birth control is a FAKE HORMONE that destroys the normal function of your body. If I could go back many many years and tell my younger self NOT to take medication, I would.
Stopped taking RLS and nerve relaxant prescriptions (part of the ultimate goal was to stop all medications). I began taking a Gaba supplement several weeks before weaning off the medication to mimic the drug in a natural form. I just finished taking this supplement. (How many random medications are you on and do you have an end in sight?)
Added a selenium supplement (the hair loss was a flag for this) and increased foods rich in it.
Eventually changed the super high incline walking metabolic cardio I was doing to low incline jogging cardio. We determined that the incline was wreaking havoc with my sacrum nerves - causing the pain near my vagina.
After having made all of these changes, and still experiencing most all of the symptoms listed above, we decided it was time to get my blood drawn for a lipid profile (I usually do this every 3 months). I cannot express the importance of lab testing enough. You can destroy yourself at the gym trying to get to your goals but if your body is not functioning optimally INSIDE you will not get there and stay there. Stop being stupid.
All of the symptoms I listed above were horrible but the bloat and hair loss was probably the most frustrating. I have always had super thick hair - to see it thin at the rate it was was depressing. I hated to brush or wash my hair because so much would come out. I am not talking the normal handful a day from having thick hair and it being hot in the summertime, I am talking about clumps and having to vacuum almost daily. My mom would tell me that she found my hair randomly around her house. I would feel hair falling down my arms during the day at the office. Around the same time I was losing my hair, I ended up pulling out most of my eyelashes from one eye with an eyelash curler. Awesome, right? I could have cried and curled up into a ball that day. Actually, I think I did.
While I spent all of my time being reactive, being proactive would have been a better strategy. I recommend this for anyone else so you do not end up in a hole trying to climb out. Do the labs - premeditate the possible deficiencies.
Blood Test
Blood tests are easy - after getting a order from Eric, I made an appointment at a nearby Quest Diagnostics, get my blood drawn in about 2 minutes, and have the results back in the next day or two. (This time I took my daughter and now she wants to be a doctor). I sat down with my coach and learned how to interpret my own lab test. This is not a super quick process but knowledge is power, right? His conclusion:
‘Since HPA Axis Dysfunction lends digestive and inflammatory dysfunctions (and vice versa), we will assume that the changes in her basic blood chemistry have been the result of improper amounts of vital nutrients needed to negate its effects. Long term birth control use has likely compromised her ability to regulate these functions, and as a result, she is experiencing heightened digestive, kidney and liver/biliary dysfunctions. Looking at the measurements of specific hormone metabolite production will give us a better look into what specific nutrients are needed to bring her back into balance.’
Thus, we were pointed to the need for the Urine Metabolites (hormone) test.
Urine Metabolites
The test is worth the money - especially when you consider that you only have one body to live in for your short life. Why not take care of it and live up to its optimal ability? It’s a no brainer if you ask me. We were trying to solve things without the need for the test (I was using myself as a guinea pig to learn from) - through somewhat of a trial and error but, in the end, the road was much longer than I was prepared to take. If you ask Eric - he will tell you I am impatient. I would like things to be done yesterday, that’s true.
At the correct time during your cycle (mine was absent at this time - known as amenorrhea) you pee on 4 different filers over the span of a day, fill out a questionnaire, and UPS overnight it back to the lab using the bag and label included. It took about a week to get the lab results back and my coach interpreted the TWELVE pages for me. It took him several days to do so and after reading the interpretation I understand why.
Doctors
Let me set some of you straight right now - I am sure those of you who do not know better are asking ‘why didn’t she just go see a doctor?’ - and I will elaborate on my typical ‘doctors do not know anything’ response for you.
As this post states, I saw three doctors, one chiropractor, one sports rehabilitation clinic, had an MRI, was taking nerve relaxants, and had two epidural shots for my protruded disc that was causing sciatic pain down my right side. None of this helped until I worked with Eric.
About two months ago, I saw my OBGYN for an annual exam and right before I decided to stop birth control the few days following. I had the symptoms I listed above and her response was to give it two or three months for my body to bounce back after losing that much weight, it’s probably normal, and eventually, ‘you’re talking outside of my scope, I do not know’. I asked HER to have an order drawn up for me to have my TSH and T4 levels checked in-house, gave her the reasons why (so insurance would cover it), and made it happen. It turns out they were in normal range (for your information) but if one does not do the testing you cannot find the right answers. I still could not get a doctor to test my T3. They did not know any better.
Doctors will not spend the amount of time researching and interpreting labs like my coach. Most will be quick to prescribe medications which serve as a bandaid to cover up your symptoms and oftentimes just create others. Be reactive to your symptoms, find out for yourself what is going on inside of your body, ask questions, get answers and make changes.
Results
The urine metabolites test indicated that most of my hormones were extremely low (Parent Estrogens and their Metabolites, Progesterone Metabolites, Androgen Precursors, Testosterone, Melatonin) and that Total Glucocorticoids (Cortisol), Free Cortisol and Cortisone were high. Lord have mercy - we knew it was off balance - but here was the PROOF. I could have kicked a dog. No, I’m kidding, but I was on edge. I will include a picture of my cortisol, cortisone, and melatonin levels. You can see how extremely high the cortisol and cortisone was in the morning and how low the melatonin was - it put fact on paper how I was feeling every day.
Plan
Next step - we made a plan. Eric gave me lifestyle and supplement recommendations. Honestly, when Eric says jump I ask how high because he has never really been wrong and he will fix my body. A few of these recommendations were to decrease fluoride exposure in water (I usually drank bottled water), increase B vitamin consumption through foods, eat certain foods to increase calcium-d-glucarate for estrogen metabolism, increase fibrous, calcium-containing, vitamin D rich, omega-3, zinc and selenium boosting foods. I hit the grocery store the next day. The ketogenic diet I did the months prior were not done properly (and I believe almost all people trying this diet do it incorrectly) and vital nutrients were missing from my diet. For example, one should eat from the nose to tail (think of a cow) when eating meat. Therefore, with the absence of the synthetic hormone from birth control and the restrictive diet - my body was spiraling. Within a few days of making these lifestyle changes Eric recommended my weight dropped significantly.
My supplements were ordered the same night (because I was so anxious for an improvement) and were all Douglas Labs brand as usual because they are pharmaceutical grade, backed by and ordered through my coach. They were:
Douglas Labs Ultra Preventive III Capsule, Douglas Labs Basic Minerals, Douglas Labs Opti-EPA Enteric Coated, Douglas Labs Relora-Plex, Douglas Labs Vitamin C, Douglas Labs Vitamin D 5000, Douglas Labs Progestomend, Douglas Labs Multiprobiotic 4000, Douglas Labs DHEA, Douglas Labs Melatonin and EXOS Essential Amino Acids. These all came with dosage amounts per Eric and his research, and after doing so for a day or two I reported back with how they affected me, and we adjusted.
I posted a picture of the supplements on Instagram the day I received them because I was so excited. I mentioned that I do not take or drink random supplements because they are surrounded by hype or because a girl down the block that competes takes them - we actually look at the numbers, the EVIDENCE, and supplement with what my body needs. Stop throwing your money at supplements because you are socially swayed by what is popular - STOP IT. Get the tests done - listen to what you body is saying (because it is different for everyone) and help it out WITHOUT the pharmaceutical company shoving drugs down your throat which cause even more problems.
Since this post is excruciatingly long, I am going to leave the next one for describing the effects of lifestyle and supplemental changes that came next. Eric hopes to turn my adrenal system (hormones) around in 3 months but it could take up to a year or two. Luckily, my body was in the first alarm stage of adrenal exhaustion. My advice to you is to be proactive and do the lab tests first. The only reason I attempted the trial and error method first was because I used myself as a guinea pig to learn from and it worked.
Stay tuned - the next post will dive into the effects of the lifestyle changes and supplements. Here are a few spoilers from the FIRST WEEK alone!
Lost 3 pounds in 6 days (calories and macros remained the same as before)
Sleep quality improved
Energy during the day sky rocketed
Mood shifted for the better
Libido increased
I am lifting 2-3 times and continuing my metabolic cardio 2 times a week
Back on the horse baby!
Earlier today.... Misha wanted to get off on me, not off of me. Full clip on Facebook. #featheredfriday #nosex #drama #thedramaisreal #happybird #hornybird #hormonehell #adolescence #sexytime #notyourgirl #notmyboyfriend #weirdo #moluccancockatoo #salmoncrestedcockatoo #cockadrama #cockatoolife #mishamisha #mishabird
So I waited until we were bonded to allow him on the floor. He ran right over and put his head in my crotch and humped my leg. Not the kind of behavior I want to encourage! After this, no more! #nosex #mishamonday #hornyashell #sexybird #moluccancockatoo #Moluccan #salmoncrested #salmoncrestedcockatoo #weirdo #noboundaries #hormonehell #wtf #creep #lolz
