Who am I without derealization, empathy, procrastination, and overthinking.

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Who am I without derealization, empathy, procrastination, and overthinking.
This is bad. I'm not accepted into AO3 and I can't edit my fanfic on Wattpad. What should I do?
should I post on fanfiction.net? it's gotta be my only hope
yeah I guess so.
you can always quit. you're not good enough. you ruined this.
lets save that as a last resort! check out these other site(s)(comment)!
I feel myself starting to cry rn. I'm not okay...
Lore Update
I actually studied Entomology for my Master's Degree. I have a business on the side that I sell a variety of items and a portion of the profit goes toward insect conservation.
Anyway! I would bring my insects to markets to help educate the public on insects, break fears, and destroy myths. I own Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches. My biggest boi is named Tom. idk y.
I will never be enough & i will always be less
Started doing an assignment for medical coding, ended up researching lesser known greek mythology.
It may be 2026 now but I don't have a future really. If we're honest.
Maybe in my next life I'll get to transition and live as myself (or if I get lucky, I won't even need to transition), I am just too useless in this life to do anything about my problems, please, someone, anyone, kill me, I'll give you anything I can provide, I just can't live like this anymore
Why am I ugly? I'm not mentally stable so at least make me pretty to give me some kind of value and purpose in life😭