#idec anymore

[h0use-fly]

what the fruck

[fujowiz]

posting a bbc johnlock edit in the year 2026 im ready to lose every single follower

[krea2re]

[cinnybunsims]

me playing my game with tons of duplicate files, outdated cc, conflicting mods, and broken save files

[torvada]

Baker Pim from ma doodle session. I can never get his front facing head shape right but I think that’s ok

[harlotstarlet777]

[misssassy56]

Maybe i am overprotective, but I was thinking… if someone in H’s team is on this platform… maybe we should stop talking about certain topics? For h and c’s best. I mean, I am thinking about the marketing anon or the anon who noted a different attitude in H’s stylist. Maybe the team is also here and they stir the narrative after reading our analysis…?

there are not so detailed discussions on other spaces

Yall. I'm not gonna stop talking about what we wanna talk about for fear of H's team finding it. Because if I do, then we have nowhere we can go. And we'll all go crazy thinking we're alone in our thoughts. That's why I won't go private or limit my asks. Because even the slightest possibility of someone who's on the exact page as us but feels fucking insane because of all the gaslighting coming across here and finally getting to feel fucking normal is enough for me to go through all the bullshit in my inbox every day so we can have this corner to ourselves. I appreciate you and your concern though, truly🥹♥️

[im-not-a-pleeb]

Nikolai x Chronically Ill Reader

In dire need of comfort rn and this is the closest thing I'm getting. I'm so messed up rn chat. Kitten I'll be honest, daddy is going to kill himself.

cw: disability, angst, whump(?), hurt/comfort, hopelessness, vague suicidal ideation I suppose

[Nikolai Masterlist]

Chronically Ill reader collapsing into Nikolai's arms and bursting into tears.

"It's not fair, I don't understand." You sob, clutching the front of his shirt. "I don't want to be sick anymore."

One of his strong arms wraps around your waist, holding you up while his other smooths down the back of your head.

"Oh slad'en'kaya," he soothes, tucking you under his chin. "I know. It's not fair, not at all."

"The doctors can't even help." Your tears seep into the fabric you've fisted and you're practically hyperventilating. "There's no treatment, they don't know what to do with me. I'm going to be like this forever. All I do is rest and rest and somehow I only get worse."

He scoops your shuddering frame into his arms and cradles you to his chest, settling you both on the couch and wrapping you in your favourite blanket. It was fluffy and heated and even though he knew you'd never admit it, it was exactly what you needed right now.

"I know. I see you trying so hard. You're so strong, slad'en'kaya. I'm so proud of you for not giving up."

"But I do." You whimper, curling into him with what little strength you have left. "I give up every day."

"And you always wake up to try again." Nikolai brushes a kiss to your hairline. His poor thing, so brave.

"I'm tired." You admit, sounding more exhausted than he's ever heard you. "Don't want to try anymore."

The admition causes him to tighten his hold on you. You begin to slur in the way you did when your tongue was simply too heavy to curl around words to form them. The condition you struggled with scared him at the best of times, but seeing it rip each small joy of life so cruelly from your deserving fingers downright terrified him.

"Shh, shh. I've got you." He swipes away your tears with tender thumbs as they continue to fall. "You don't have to try right now, da? I am here. I'll take care of you. I'll take care of whatever you need."

"But it's not fair on you–"

"No, it's not fair on you." He corrects. "Malyshka, you did not deserve this. It's not fair for you to suffer at all, especially to deny yourself love when you need it the most. Let yourself cry." He rubs slow circles up and down your spine. "Just cry, get all those big feelings out."

He stays with you like this as long as you need, murmuring soft coos in your ears until you've cried yourself half to sleep. Nikolai lifts you again, bringing you to the bedroom to tuck you in for a while. The waterbottle on the bedside table was still full so he holds it to your lips, knowing it would be far to heavy for you to lift on your own right now.

"Drink. Just two sips, good girl."

The care in his touch when he cleans up your snotty face makes you tear up all over again. It's gestures like that which make you want to believe he really doesn't mind taking care of you. He's not leaving your side. Never. Not now, not down the road, he's here for it all.

Once you're laying beside him on the mattress, he begins to recite old folktales in quiet Russian. He doesn't speak too loudly, not wanting to overwhelm your sensitive brain, but he also doesn't want to let you get lost in your negative thoughts. He knows how cruel the voices are, but you've told him before that listening to his voice without having to use energy to understand his words is soothing. There's no pressure to process what's being said when you don't know the language being spoken.

When you fall asleep next to him, he doesn't break the physical contact. He hopes it will carry into your dreams and assure you that he will love you. Always.

Chat this is me venting but creative style. Man fuck this. (Vent below, don't worry about it)

You guys don't care lmao but I'm grieving every single aspect of my life, body and mind every day while still being forced to live it. I'm never going to be able to raise children. I missed my brothers graduation and my Nanny's funeral because I was too sick to stand. I'm scared I won't be able to visit my Grandma again before she dies. I can't even go for a walk to clear my mind. Even using my wheelchair is too difficult. My brain feels like mush and it's so hard to even think. I haven't seen my friends in years and it's honestly too much to even call. Idek, there's so much. I feel like people write me off because they don't see me getting better.

I'd feel guilty if someone were to somehow become aware of my existence and love me, bc they deserve a partner who can give them more. Who can actually go on dates with them. Anyways just feeling guilty of being disabled and unworthy of love rn. It's so unfair. I hate not being able to take care of myself and do the most basic things. It's an incomprehensible horror, truly.

It's so lonely. ME is such a unique grief even within the disabled community. It's incredibly isolating. On the bright side, at least I have access to a specialist clinic and I've been going to a virtual support group for my age bracket. That's been big. It's so easy to feel behind so it's nice to be at the same pace as others for once.