Identity (Part 4)
So, I signed up for AO3. I'll be transferring this over there eventually. I am going to go ahead and post the next part here though because I haven't confirmed everything over there yet.
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Lena's driver was outside waiting as she rushed to the car.
"The airport, Ms. Luthor?" Frank asked gently. He could see she was in some sort of distress, which was concerning because Ms. Luthor never let her emotions slip.
"Catco, please, Mr. Gerards. We're picking up Mr. Olson." She said composing herself and returning to the stoic look he was accustomed to.
"Yes, ma'am." He replied and headed forward.
Lena's phone buzzed. More photos. "Stop. Stop! STOP!" She screamed internally. It was okay. She was almost there. She'd get James and in approximately 10 hrs and 45 mins they'd be in Paris. She texted him to make sure he wasn't going to delay her escape any longer.
Lena: On my way
Lena: Hope you're ready
James: Never been more ready
James was a little worried about what spurred this sudden vacation, but he also knew Lena worked too much. Something was bothering her and he was hopeful that she would open up if they found some time to relax. Lena's Rolls Royce pulled to the curb. James got in with a huge grin on his face but that was quickly replaced by a worried brow. Lena was staring at her phone with a very stressed look upon her face.
"Everything alright? " he asked. She looked up blankly and blinked a few times and replied.
"It will be." She smiled, slight relief behind her eyes. James decided not to push it. She looked exhausted. As they headed to the airport, Lena's phone buzzed again. It was Colonel Haley inquiring as to whether Lena had received all the details of the government partnership and if she had time to review them.
"The government wants to partner with me in my research into making humans super." Lena broke the silence as she stared out the window rather than making eye contact.
James furrowed his brow.
"Lena, I know how much your research means to you, which is why I can't fathom why you would want to share it with the government. "
There it was. A box rattled in her mind. He didn't trust her. He couldn't fathom why she would want to share it? Seriously?
"I thought you supported my work?" She looked over at him. This was not happening. Not now. Dammit.
"Look, I know that I said that I understand this moral gray area that you're treading on, but if you share your research with the government, they're going to militarize it. And who knows what kind of chaos that can create." James explained.
"Moral gray?" Lena thought. God, James could be so condescending. His vigilantism was just as "morally gray" as her research, if not more so. Everything she was doing was legal. And did he really think she hadn't thought about the government misusing her research? He had never really grasp how smart she was and comments like this just reinforced that he had no clue who she really was beyond what she let people see. The box rattled some more.
"I know I said that I'd try to understand your point of view, but I don't know if I can on this one. " James further explained.
The fact that he had to "try to understand" was part of the problem. He never really tried. They never really talked about it past the initial conversation. She'd bring things up, just like now, and just like now, James would get on his moral high horse and talk down to her like she was a naive rebellious teenager who had no clue about the consequences of her actions. She had lowered herself to apologize to him the last time, thinking that perhaps they just had a communication error and that if she was more open about everything going on he'd trust her. He had forgiven her. He actually said that. "I forgive you." No apology from him. That had never sat well with her. She didn't feel she needed forgiven, just understood.
“Are you saying that forgiving me and us trying again was a mistake.” His attitude and and how she had to grovel to get him back turned to disgust as those words fell from her mouth. All of this was more of an admission from her subconscious than a question for him.
“No, no, no, I’m...no, no, no. There’s no mistakes.” James fumbled with his words. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing and this certainly wasn’t the way he thought his evening was going to go. What was she thinking? He couldn't help but wonder if her need to not be like her brother was the very thing that would drive her to be exactly the person she feared. He couldn't lie to himself. That thought was always right below the surface for him. Every decision she made he analyzed. He couldn't help himself. He had watched Clark and Lex go from friends to enemies. He had seen the slow descent into madness. He didn't want any of the superfriends to be caught off guard. Lately, Lena's actions had set off all sorts of alarm bells for him.
"No. I love you." James said, meaning it, but also trying to quell the situation.
Holy shit. Lena could not believe this. Really? He was going to pull that out now?
"And you love me."
But she didn't. She thought she had. But she didn't. Not like he wanted. Not the way she knew she should. She really had tried, but she knew, this was never going to work. He kept going.
"But I also know you, and I know you're better than this." He finished.
"Better than this? This what?!" Lena was angry now. That box began to shudder and shake. That box that was full of all the times James had hinted that she was like her brother. All the times he had called her a Luthor without literally calling her a Luthor. She felt hurt. Wounded when she had sought safety. A sneer of contempt crossed her face. Who the hell did he think he was? Moreover, who the hell did he think she was?
"I will not allow you to judge me for using science for the betterment of humanity!" the venom dripping from her words. Her eyes cold. Her anger deep.
James could feel her slipping away from him. He had to hold onto her. Kara had pushed them together. If he lost her he was afraid of what she might become.
"That's fair. Okay." He said in hopes of calming the argument. "You're right and I don't want to judge."
"Ha!" Lena fought the cynical laughter trying to bubble up from underneath her anger. "Judging is all he's done since the day he met me." She finished the thought in her head.
"But to be straightforward, I am never going to agree with you sharing your research with the government." James knew things. The reporter, Mackenzie, had show James things that he had kept secret. Things about Lena and Lex. Things about the trials she was running and who she was getting to help her. He hadn't let Lena know what he knew. If the government knew the full spectrum of her operation...well, there were sure to be big problems for humanity's future with or without the government's militarization project.
Lena couldn't anymore. She just couldn't. His self - righteous attitude was more than she could stand. She didn't need this. What was she doing? Running away with a man she didn’t even love that didn’t even know who she was? Didn’t even trust her? When had she become such a fool?
“And I think that could destroy us.” James concluded.
Before she could even think, she responded.
“You’re probably right.” This was it. She was done and this was an easy way out. He had handed it right to her and she was going to take it. “I think you should leave.”
James was caught off guard. Hurt. Why couldn’t she understand that he just wanted to keep her from making a mistake?
“So that’s it then?” was all he could say.
“It was always inevitable, wasn’t it?” Lena said with both sadness and loathing in her eyes.
“Maybe it was.”, James thought. Once a Luthor, always a Luthor. He should’ve known better. “Frank, stop the car.” James exited without looking back. The car pulled away as Lena pulled away from his life.
A tear streamed down Lena’s face as James disappeared in the darkness. It was more a tear out of anger than sadness. At least, that’s what she told herself. Now, there was an empty box left in her mind. She discarded it. Her phone buzzed. It was the prison that held Lex. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard as she held it to her chest.
Back at the office she poured over every detail of the government contract. Once satisfied with the different amendments and changes she’d made she sent it off to Colonel Haley. She poured herself a scotch, then another. Before she had even felt the numbingness of the alcohol Colonel Haley sent word that they had reached an agreement.
Her phone buzzed. It was the prison again. She texted back. A number popped up. She called.
“I’m in.”
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And that’s it for chapter 4. The next chapter along with these chapters will be on AO3. I will let you guys know once I get them up there. I hope you’re enjoying it. Again, it’ll weave in and out of canon but probably eventually go it’s separate way.
