#im just musing

[killjoygem]

Yuri was probably a baby when the war started right? I wonder if and how that affects his perspective on things compared to Yor and Loid who can probably remember the time before the war

I think he probably has a very different view on things like the west and war to Yor, as a consequence of his entire early childhood being affected by war, and not actually being able to remember how it started or what it was like in those early years

[huckleberrysigh]

there's something different about having a chronic illness/being disabled to an extent since you were a baby

just been thinking about how I bonded with my neighbour after learning he has diabetic neuropathy and he asked me when my nerve pain started and I told him I first started noticing it when I was 15 but I'd been experiencing pain and been affected by acrocyanosis since I was 2, developing frostnip for years, not able to ski or ice skate or even shovel because I would be crying in pain at how cold my hands got

and I guess what I'm trying to say that it's taken me about four years to get to a point where I'm no longer so weighed down at the reality of my situation, come to a sort of acceptance (not to say that I no longer have bad days or episodes where I just feel utterly hopeless because unfortunately I do and that's just part of the cards I've been dealt) that there's no cure, and I think part of that acceptance was made easier by the fact that although yes my conditions have gotten worse the older I've gotten, I've always had to readjust my expectations and work around the limitations already set by my body

it mostly makes me feel for people who haven't, whose lives were suddenly upended or flipped on their heads one day. there's a real strength there, in still getting up every day and finding ways to adjust and come to terms with your new reality, especially if you were at a later stage in life or even middle aged and had a life-altering diagnosis dropped on you out of nowhere

[bekkachaos]

I know I'm going to see a lot of "why would Chris call Ramon and Helena and not Buck" and I think it's literally as simple as the fact that Buck is inextricably linked to Eddie.

"But Chris called an uber and ran to Buck before" yes, but this isn't 'dad started dating and I'm mad' this is some serious hurt and confusion that Christopher is going through, and I don't doubt that he knew if he called Buck, and as much as Buck would have been there to support him, Chris wanted to get away from Eddie and get space, and Buck was never going to be able to give him that. Buck would never be able to separate himself from Eddie in this.

Yes obviously Ramon and Helena are Eddie's parents, but they've proved on more than one occasion that they will put Christopher's needs above Eddie if it comes down to it. And Christopher needed space, he needed time to deal with his own feelings, something he knew his grandparents would be able to give him. And I think maybe he knew that Eddie would give him that if he pushed hard enough. Plus he's 13, he probably feels betrayed, part of him probably wants to make Eddie feel even worse (remember what 13 was like?).

Also, Christopher can rely on his grandparents in this as a support, Eddie needs Buck. In this situation Buck can't play mediator, he needs to be Eddie's support through this (even if Eddie does decide to push him away). I'm glad they gave Christopher some agency here, especially as someone so young, to decide what he thinks he needs. And Eddie's response is perfect, "five minutes or five months", he supports his decision, even if it's going to break him to do it.

[edwin-paynes-bowtie]

I feel bad because no matter how much I try I just can't pull for Jesse after Chain of Thorns. I just can't. The way he treated Grace was not just really unfortunate (especially after everything she did to give him life) but also felt so, so, so OOC.

Idk like, you watched this girl be abused for years and you can't find it in yourself to just... take a chill pill for a few minutes and really think about what happened? I don't think James, Matthew, or Charles are obligated to forgive Grace, but I do think her own brother owed her some basic empathy and understanding.

To clarify, I don't hate Jesse or anything, but I just can't root for him at this point. I just can't.

[proxycollective]

yknow i just realized something. since tumblr lets people make side blogs and all... i wonder if you could make an individual blog for specific headmates? probably?

like i was thinking about that from a... hm... i wonder... perspective. obviously this is our shared/main system blog where everybody can/is gonna post but then i went... but what if... i made my own personal sideblog for stupid shenanigans and link back to this one

something to think about maybe. i might consider it if i can think of anything to actually post or talk about. i love rambling

might tell n about the idea too. they also love to talk talk talk and journal i think

-dust

[bionigrls]

i remember as a kid it bugged me to no end that the playsets in 2007, ostensibly Rahi, had big windscreens and weapons and whatnot like obvious vehicles. but that’s because kid me was a chump who didn’t know good Biopunk when she saw it!

I personally think that bionicle should have mentioned the fact people can ride inside whales a whole lot MORE, plug yourself into a weird giger creature, you’ll be fine, trust me.

[cupcraft]

thinking about kinoko tommy hcs got me thinking about c!tommy and c!sapnap friendship. oughhh like you'll never be c!sapnap promising c!Tommy they'll take down c!Dream, like you'll never be c!Tommy giving the fish back to c!Sapnap and forgiving each other. Like you don't get it

[girlshinjist]

they don’t talk about how liberating it is to be emo for the first time ever but it’s true… like im a nearly 18yo man whos specific trauma and experiences barred him from interacting w that aesthetic in a meaningful way for a long time even though it would have been a truly liberating fit for me as a queer teenager discovering who he was. and now finally im seeing pictures of gerard way and i’m not be normal about it and it is Awesome. im listening to funny music and writing silly stories and i have blue black hair and wear the same band shirt all the time. in the past month i got over 1600 mcr plays on spotify and im having the time of my fuckign life. its joyous and you can get fucked if you dont agree.