#incorrect asoiaf

[shining-m00nlight]

Some time ago in the Vale:

Ned: Well, who cuts people's hair in the middle of the night?

Robert: I do! They call me the Midnight Barber.

Ned: Yeah, well that's an infringement of people's liberties. So don't ever be doing that to me.

Robert: I DO do it to you.

Ned: ...what?

Robert: Who d'you think cuts your hair, Maester?

Ned: My hair just doesn't grow very fast

Robert: What, you think it stays that length naturally? I'm in there in the night, styling away.

Ned: How dare you do that to me in the night, when I'm oblivious.

Robert: I do my best work when you're oblivious. I lean you up against the pillow, and I go at you.

Ned: That's perverted!

[catboyarmand]

Jon, studying for an exam with Robb and Theon: Robb: Fuck, it's morning already! What are we going to do? Jon: Well, maybe we could start with calming down. Robb: Calm down? We're still on Aegon the Conquerer! We haven't so much looked at the Shivers! Jon: You've got the gist. They got the shivers. Theon: Well, I can't tell my rebellions from my risings. Jon, getting stressed: And whose fault's that? If you lot had stopped invading us for five fucking minutes there'd be a lot less to wade through, you Ironborn prick!

[ratcoon]

Jon, to Dany: NEVER apologize for being Sicilian

[gendrya-fanpage]

Hot pie: Hey, Gendry? Can I get some dating advice?

Gendry: Just because I’m with Arya doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

[incorrectstarkfamily]

ned & arya: the bird flu? yeah they tend to do that

robb & catelyn: apartment “complex”? i find it quite simple

theon: you’re telling me a ginger bred this man?

jon: “what’s upstairs?” stairs can’t talk

sansa: “based”? based on what?

bran: chef’s kiss? do they...do they really?

rickon: wood fired pizza? how’s pizza gonna get a job now?

[thelustybraavosimaid]

Catelyn: *spots Rickon running around the Great Hall, points at his balled hand and squints* Let me see what you have!

Rickon: *proud* A KNIFE!

Catelyn, alarmed: NO!

[she-wolf-of-highgarden]

Hot Pie: You’re weirdly and freakishly secretive, Arry

Arya: No, I’m not. I’m normal secretive

Hot Pie: Arry, Arry, I’ve known you for over six moons. I didn’t know you were from the North. I don’t even know what your favorite color is

Arya: What’s that got to do with anything?

Hot Pie: Everything! We’re friends. Friends tell each other these kind of things.

Arya:

Arya: Teal. My favorite color is teal.

Hot Pie: Who are you?

[stupid-bull]

another version I tweeted on my... twitter.