Nov 12, 2025
Nero: Did you hang out with Vergil last night? Kyrie: You know, yeah, I did. Nero: Oh. I love Vergil. Kyrie: You hate Vergil. Nero: YEAH NO SHIT HONEY
seen from Türkiye
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seen from China
Nero: Did you hang out with Vergil last night? Kyrie: You know, yeah, I did. Nero: Oh. I love Vergil. Kyrie: You hate Vergil. Nero: YEAH NO SHIT HONEY
Patty: Hey, Mom.
Nina: Yeah, Honey?
Patty: Do demons give weapons to their... friends?
--- Earlier that Day ---
Dante: Hey Brat, gotcha a new toy.
Patty: ... Dante. Is this Abigail... as a devil arm?
Dante: Oh,*laughs* yeah. I've been saving it for ya. Happy 18th, Pattycake!
Patty: ???¿¿¿???
---
Nina: Not really. There are mating gifts, but weapons tend to be reserved for 'coming of age' ceremonies for their children.
Patty: oh.... OH!
V: I wasn’t “trauma dumping”, I was telling you my lore
If Dante helped Vergil choose a new name:
Vergil: Gilver will do just fine.
Dante: What about Ligver? It sounds cooler and almost sounds like Ligma.
Vergil: Ligma? What is Ligma?
Dante: Ligma bal-
(the Sparda twins back on their shit post-canon)
Nero: (slurps coffee) Not my circus, not my monkeys.
Kyrie: Nero!
Nico: *wheezing*
Vergil : brother
Dante : yeahh?
Vergil : you're frick fracking my son
Dante and nero :
Dante : i can explain
Nero trying to propose to V
Nero, going down to one knee: ^very motivational emotional speech
Nero: V, will you marry me?
V, confused: why?
Nero: what the fuck do you mean why???
Vergil: marriage is a social construct
Dante: i dont like weddings, there's no pizza and you cant poledance
Nero: what are you two doing here???
Dante: sssshhhh we have a bet going
Nero: what did you bet on?
Dante: i said V would not realize you were dating
Vergil: i said he was wrong
Nero: thank you dad!
Vergil: .... because i like it when he's wrong
Nero: *looks at the camera like he's in The Office
Incorrect DMC 5 Quotes
Nero, on phone at Devil May Cry: “Hey Nico, we’re gonna order pi-”
Nico: *rams van through the wall*
Nico: *rolls down window*
Nico: “Chicken.”