#incorrect jaskier quotes

[incorrectships-and-fandoms]

Jaskier: You're violent.

Ciri: Yeah but I'm also short and that's adorable.

[mischievous-thunder]

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

Geralt: Please behave yourself. We are in public.

Jaskier, enraged: 

[buffskierights]

Incorrect Jaskier Quotes

Taako Taaco Edition - Part 1

Jaskier, after the mountain: Listen, I have an update from Jaskier Central. I’ve updated my list of people I trust and things I believe to no one and nothing! Not a joke, I don’t trust you, witch, I don’t trust Geralt of Rivia, I don’t trust Borch whatever-his-name- nobody. I trust nobody.

-

Jaskier, after bodyswapping with Yennefer: UGH, I can’t believe I’m so short, I hate this! Oh, by the way, I look amazing. Look at my hair and my cool puffy sleeves! I never really appreciated how beautiful I was when I was in my body and now that I’m this witch, this aberration, this woman the gods forgot, this living sin against aesthetics that is Yennefer of Vengerberg, I really appreciate me so much more.

-

Jaskier: Who stops serving pancakes at 9am?! I had to get Cheetos! Medieval Cheetos!

-

Ciri: Hello, Jaskier! Did you get my letters? Jaskier: Of course I did, Princess, I opened all of them and read them. Ciri: Why did you say that that weird? Jaskier: Nothing! I just, read them! All the words. Pictures? Were there pictu- no, just the words, I can tell from your face it was just words, no pictures. So, yes, I read all of the letters.

-

Geralt: Just- just one thing. One small criticism- um, I think you may have forgotten to make it taste good. Jaskier, learning to cook: I mean, there’s no accounting for taste. It’s more refined, it’s sort of- you know what it is? Geralt: But yuck- kind of yucky? It’s a little bit- Jaskier: Continental- it’s kind of, uhh... artisanal. Geralt: You’re kind of full of dogshit sometimes. Jaskier: That’s what it was, I forgot. I did include dogshit.

-

Jaskier, while threatening bandits: You’re really in trouble now, mister. I am going to call upon someone who inspires me every day to be a better bard and a better person. He’s my hero, really, and... you’re fucked. His name is Jaskier!

-

Jaskier: Geralt, I wanted to take this moment to tell you something. I- I stole Lambert’s shoes. And that seems cruel now, in retrospect, but I did like them very much, and I stole them, and then I lied to you about stealing them in Kaedwen. I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry for that. If you’re angry, I would like you to direct it at that gentleman over there. Yennefer: Um, as long as we’re making confessions, I should also say: Geralt, I am currently wearing those shoes. Jaskier: She is wearing the shoes. I gave her the shoes, Geralt, and she magicked them clean and in her size. I didn’t even steal them for me, I just stole them for kicks. Monster: *roars* Yennefer: Could you give us a second, please? We’re talking about shoes!

-

Geralt: Jaskier, I was trying to get out to get a message to you. I thought- I thought you were gone. I thought everything was gone. Jaskier: Well, you’re not that far off. Uh, it’s... but you’re right, there has been a terrible loss that you should know about. Jaskier: *takes off a glamoured ring to reveal his aging* Jaskier: So, I just wanted to be honest. I’m- I didn’t want to catfish you or anything. This is Jaskier today, um, I had a bad run in with the passage of time, and this is what I really look like. And I just wanted you to know that in case it changes anything for you, personally. I thought you should know, now. Geralt: Jaskier, I... was crazy about you, before some weird djinn nearly killed you and we met Yen and all that stuff happened. I love you, Jaskier, and at this point, I think that everyone on the Continent is going to love you after hearing your music, and nothing’s gonna change that. Jaskier, choked up: ... That was actually a test, your face is a corpse half the time.

[mischievous-thunder]

[mischievous-thunder]

Jaskier's going all out

[mischievous-thunder]

Geralt: *Pushes Jaskier away*

Also Geralt, when he finds Jaskier trying to mend his broken heart and move on: Why's Jaskier being so cold to me?!

[mischievous-thunder]

Yennefer: They're shooting a horror sexy tragedy movie in the neighbourhood.

Jaskier: Excellent! You can do the horror part. I'll do the sexy part.

Yennefer: What about tragedy?

Jaskier: *Stares at Geralt*