#incorrecthistoryquotes

[problematic-president]

[Panic of 1837]

Van Buren: Uh oh

Van Buren: I don't think I can manipulate manwhore mansplain my way out of this one

[2nd-triumvirate]

cicero: i wasn’t done talking!

catiline, walking out of the senate: i was done listening

[trappper-johnathan]

How they really came up with the idea for the Boston Tea Party

Colonist 1: Ugh, I don't even know how to handle King George right now! He's being such a dick!

Colonist 2: Oooh, gurl, spill the tea!

Colonist 1:

Colonist 2:

Colonist 1: You're a fucking genius

[problematic-president]

Jefferson: This push pop is BANGING yo

Madison: THAT'S A FUCKING GLUE STICK

Monroe, in the distance: Hey can I have some too

[problematic-president]

Hamilton: Y'know what, not all Democratic-Republicans are bad I guess

Burr: Thanks!

Hamilton: No, not you.

[problematic-president]

Jefferson: If you had 12 apples gave your friend 6, what would you have?

Monroe, tearing up: A friend...

Madison: 12 apples and a dead body.

Jefferson:

Jefferson: You'd have 6 apples.

[problematic-president]

Adams: Diplomacy is when you lie for political reasons I think

Franklin: Diplomacy is when you uhhhhhhh sexily seduce your enemies into becoming allies

[problematic-president]

Franklin: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited

Jefferson: If?

Adams: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and he might not even die