Anon wrote: Hello MBTi Notes. I’ve long been reflecting on something that I haven’t seen addressed with the depth it deserves, and I was wondering if you might be able to offer your insight.
As an INTP, I’ve often noticed that we are frequently framed — both in fiction and in real life — as dull, naïve, or socially unimpressive. Even when portrayed positively, INTPs are usually cast as eccentric nerds, side characters, or comic relief. There’s rarely any emphasis on traits like charisma, leadership, or vision — qualities that other types seem to be readily granted, even in speculative representations.
This seems to mirror my own lived experience, and that of many INTPs I’ve spoken to. Despite having strong inner convictions and a deep need to understand and influence the world, when I try to speak or assert ideas, it often lands flat. I notice that my arguments, no matter how thought-out, don't create impact — or worse, they get brushed aside. There’s a sense of being seen as slow, abstract, or disconnected.
Meanwhile, other types, even when less precise, tend to command more immediate respect or engagement.
Why does this pattern exist? Is there something about the INTP function stack (Ti-Ne-Si-Fe) that makes our strengths socially invisible or easily misread? And how might we break free from these limiting frames without betraying the core of who we are?
Thank you for the thoughtful work you do. Your writing has helped me feel less alone somehow
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There is a subset of types who write to me more often than others, usually because they suffer from long running issues related to isolation. I lovingly refer to them as the "stuck in their head" squad, aka, the four Introverted Intuitive (IN) types. These types often find kindred spirits in each other.
IN types share a unique ability to create an interesting inner life for themselves. However, there are two sides to every personality trait. Having an interesting inner life potentially becomes a disadvantage or liability when it leaves one suffering from problems such as:
tunnel vision (INTJ)
separateness (INFJ)
stagnation (INFP)
detachment (INTP)
Although these sound like different problems on the surface, they all stem from the same deeper phenomenon of not being able to reconcile one's inner life with the outer world. Basically, the extraverted functions are underdeveloped. This means it is easy for INs to intentionally or unintentionally cut themselves off from the world, via tertiary loop, and perhaps even lose touch with reality in extreme cases.
I daresay every IN has experienced what it's like to think things are one way only to (shockingly) discover that nothing is what they thought. The INs who haven't had this experience yet are usually young (and privileged) and still blissfully living in their heads.
Although this inner-outer disconnect affects all four types, they are not all equally aware of it, care enough to change it, or feel compelled to seek help/advice about it. Generally speaking, INs in the early stages of tertiary loop are likely to be in denial, whereas those who have grown weary of tertiary loop (and suffering its negative consequences) are more likely to seek change and reach out for help.
However, this doesn't mean that help will work or that change will be smooth for them, mainly because they might still be unaware of what the underlying problem actually is. These cases are usually easy to identify because they struggle with questions along the lines of "how do I change without betraying myself?", indicating their ambivalence about exiting tertiary loop. Basically, they fear developing extraverted functions because they believe doing so would somehow "compromise" their inner world.
When INs become more aware of the inner-outer disconnect, a common reaction is existential loneliness, due to feeling misunderstood (by loved ones), underappreciated (by society), or unable to access social supports (that would help ease their suffering). One of the reasons I keep this blog is to help INs feel less alone by giving them access to minds with similar experiences.
Unfortunately, there exists a disincentive to connecting directly with others. Socializing can feel threatening because it opens up the door to painfully bursting the tertiary loop mental bubble for good. Such a drastic psychological jolt isn't good for mental health and well-being either. Reluctance to experience this pain can lead to living in a contradiction of wanting and not wanting change at the same time.
The more time spent in tertiary loop, the more difficult it is to exit. The fact is there are comforts to be had in tertiary loop because it is a protective defense mechanism. The heavier the reliance on the comforts, the harder it is to give them up. Bad habits are difficult to break once one has grown too accustomed to their "benefits". Because immature/unhealthy INs live in their own little world and are inattentive to the outer world, it is unfortunately all too easy for them to convince themselves that bad habits aren't bad where they live.
As such, getting out of tertiary loop often requires a strong commitment to change and improvement, a feasible plan of action, and determination to persist during difficult or stressful times. Sadly, the longer a person has been in tertiary loop, the less equipped they are to handle the pain of leaving it.
Usually, the reason they got trapped in the first place was because they did not (have opportunity to) learn healthy coping strategies and thus had to resort to tertiary loop. Therefore, the feasible plan of action must include learning new ways to cope with negative feelings and emotions (i.e. improve emotional intelligence).
A conceptual overview of the IN inner-outer disconnect problem and solution:
When Ni is too out of balance with Se, INTJs become too extreme. They will eventually suffer from tunnel vision if they use Fi to continually justify ignoring empirical evidence of failure (Te rejection). To exit Ni-Fi loop, they must give up extreme thinking, but that can leave them stuck in feelings of dullness or mediocrity. If they genuinely want a fulfilling life, they have to learn how to adopt reasonable standards and balance their goal-seeking to address every important aspect of life (Te+Se development).
When Ni is too out of balance with Se, INFJs become unrealistic. They will eventually suffer from separateness if they use Ti to continually rationalize away critical feedback (Fe rejection). To exit Ni-Ti loop, they must temper idealism, but that can leave them feeling empty or jaded. If they genuinely want to feel at peace with the world, they have to learn to adapt their vision to better fit the contexts of day-to-day existence (Fe+Se development).
When Fi is too out of balance with Te, INFPs become solipsistic. They will eventually suffer from stagnation if they use Si to remove all possible interference with their inner status quo (Ne rejection). To exit Fi-Si loop, they must admit that their feelings/values have led them astray, but this can leave them feeling lost or broken. If they genuinely want life to move forward, they have to learn to make use of mistakes and flaws as opportunities for becoming more skilled at life (Ne+Te development).
When Ti is too out of balance with Fe, INTPs become very limited in their perspective. They will eventually suffer from detachment if they use Si to continually dismiss certain ideas as being unworthy of consideration (Ne rejection). To exit Ti-Si loop, they must admit that their understanding of the world is myopic, but this can leave them feeling dejected or apathetic. If they genuinely want to bring their ideas to fruition, they have to learn to enjoy the process of continually testing and improving them, in order to pick up the most skilled methods of communicating them (Ne+Fe development).
I think tertiary Si and inferior Fe issues have been covered pretty well for INTPs, so you can refer to previous posts. Perhaps you haven't fully realized the extent that Si loop has constrained you. You see yourself one way, but others see you completely differently. An unrealistic self-image is a tell-tale sign of inner-outer disconnect.
Part of the disconnect comes from you because Si loop and Fe blindness make you unable to address all the complicating factors that influence successful expression of the self. Part of the disconnect comes from others because they might not be fully equipped to understand you without your help. Both of these problems are within your power to address.
If your knowledge of human psychology is basically limited to Ti+Si thinking, then your understanding of people is lacking, so you don't know how to appeal to them. You are basically doing what most people do, which is appeal to others based on what works for yourself, rather than what works for them. The fact of the matter is most people aren't INTPs, or even INs, so they don't think like you do.
One of the main reasons people learn about personality type is to learn how to bridge individual differences in perception and judgment. In order to communicate with types that are quite different from you, it is sometimes necessary for you to learn to speak some of their language. The more "languages" you learn, the more versatile you can be when socializing with people.
This is unfortunately just something all INs have to deal with because they are a statistical minority. Minorities often have to go the extra mile to make themselves seen and understood by the majority. It also doesn't help matters to be an introvert in a society that values extraversion more.
However, it's important to remember that you have extraverted functions and you can learn to use them effectively. It is mainly a matter of how willing you are to realize your potential. Everyone has their challenges in life, and meeting challenges bravely is the path to growth. An important aspect of type development is about unlocking hidden strengths, but you won't be able to do that if you continue to believe improvement equals "self-betrayal" (i.e. Ne rejection).
Perhaps you mostly notice INTPs who are similar to you in terms of type development stage, since we unconsciously seek reflections of ourselves in the social/media landscape. While it is true that the majority of people struggle with ego development issues (and thus get represented as such in fiction), there are certainly examples to be found of people who are further along in type development, usually older in age. Make a point to look out for them and you might discover valuable inspiration for your own development.
@majikal137 I'm going to answer your question on this old post here for simplicity reasons:
Hi. As a Fe aux user, how do you think about behaviors of Fe inferior?
I'm actually very familiar with behaviours of inferior Fe since my father is an INTP and my stepfather an ISTP, and it's quite interesting actually. Fe is by far the most obvious function in people, regardless of its position in the functions stack. It always shines through, even in IxTPs. They can be quite good at analysing and understanding other people through an Fe lens, though ISTPs tend to be a lot better at that than INTPs in my experience, probably due to being more observant of other people thanks to their Se, while INTPs prefer to get lost inside their own Ne-wired minds. Still, IxTPs usually display the same viewpoints on Fe politeness as FJs, just in a more chill way (such as we're here as a group, not as individuals, or I don't like you, but I will be polite and civil, or a general aversion against conflict). And they usually understand Fe behaviour in FJs without any issues, even when they may think that the FJ is needlessly exaggerating something. They get it. What they don't get is how to talk to people. I don't mean this in a mean way, but I think it's quite funny how IxTPs understand high Fe, but don't understand why their own behaviour can make FJs mad. They aren't as willing to go with the flow and compromise as FJs are and just stubbornly do their own thing instead. They don't emote like FJs do and they don't freely express their emotions, typically because they are not in touch with them at all. You as an outside person are often more likely to know how an IxTP is feeling than the IxTP themselves. My INTP dad can stomp his foot and angrily mutter to himself and slam doors etc. and then be confused when other people assume that he's angry. He doesn't know. He wasn't aware. It has to be brought to his attention (which is also a very Fe thing: you need to see yourself through other people's eyes). But the thing is, high Fe wants emotions from other people. My ESFJ mother still talks about that time when we were on holiday and reached the top of a mountain and how she could have shouted out into the world how beautiful the view is and how happy she is to be there with all of us. Meanwhile my INTP dad went "Yeah. It looks nice." Twenty years later and my mother still says she could have killed him right then and there. She wanted him to join her in her euphoria. She wanted to ride that feeling with someone. That's what high Fe is all about. Connecting emotionally. Melting into one another, becoming one. But you can't tickle emotional highs and lows out of an IxTP. They are not cold or unfeeling. They just aren't aware. You can burst into tears in front of them and they will have no idea what is happening and why or what to say, but they will simply go for a warm hug and hope that's enough (for me, it always was). It's a constant confusion, but they get the gist. That's the thing with our inferior functions: they make sense to us when we see them in higher positions in other people. They don't feel foreign. They're not necessarily something we particularly care about, but they don't feel alien to us. Using them just feels a bit like a wet piece of soap that's slipping through your fingers. It's tangible. You know its use, its purpose, you know how it works in theory. You're just really bad at it. That's how I feel about inferior Fe behaviours. Seeing it in action in IxTPs feels like listening to a twelve-year-old explaining astrophysics to me.
Inferior function in MBTI type is what you might hide from others because it'll show your real self. People take it for granted and accuse you of not expressing this function
INFERIOR FUNCTIONS
Fe (INTP/ISTP)
People think you hate everyone because you keep a straight face when you love someone and can't tell your feelings towards someone. You prefer to make desicions with your brain, not heart. Nobody knows your opinions on anyone, you prefer to stay away from gossips
Fi (ESTJ/ENTJ)
People think you only care about youself and don't have any empathy or understanding. They blame you for doing the nastiest things to people since they think you're heartless and can't feel anything. Everything you do for youself is getting critiqued by everyone
Te (ISFP/INFP)
People think you're self-obsessed and want the best only for yourself. You seem antisocial and bored by everyone when they talk about feelings. You're afraid to make a fool out of yourself if you confess your feelings
Ti (ESFJ/ENFJ)
People think you're too busy for them. They want you to express your thoughts more, but you're closed-off as heck. They wish to know you better, but you hide everything behind workaholic exterior. They can't catch you for a drink or anything else cause you're a business woman💃
Se (INTJ/INFJ)
People think they can hurt you anyway they want to. For them you're a hard nut to crack cause you never give up and always reach for your dreams. They're jealous of your positive mindset and want to destroy you with their complaints and critique
Si (ENTP/ENFP)
People think they can manipulate you anyway they want to. You're someone who's agreeable and helpful. They want to give you extra tasks not suitable for your health and brains because you're very hardworking and willing to make an impact in society
Ne (ISTJ/ISFJ)
People think you know everything. They get mad if their image of you is ruined. They even get violent thinking you betrayed them by not knowing how to help them. They expect you to be their lord and savior and pray on you on a daily basis. Cult leaders, honestly 🤔
Ni (ESTP/ESFP)
People expect you to clap back at their rudeness. They want to test your powers to defend yourself. They make you do risky things to laugh at you when you fail. Your parents might hate you cause you can't meet up their expectations
*pretends to look nice and sociable in order to hide their awkwardness, tries too much to make others love them, turns into a social chameleon but actually hates adapting to everyone’s character* (this is from a deleted post by @nefelobatis I think)
“In the past, I’ve put significant effort into explaining inferior Fe in a personalized way, which isn’t exactly an easy or natural thing for me. However, I did realize at a certain point that sometimes inferior Fe gets generally confused with social anxiety. (A lot of people can relate to some general insecurities that inferior Fe users attribute to their Fe.) Recently, someone suggested that I write this so I think I’m going to give it a shot, and actually start from a more technical standpoint and work outwards to potential external manifestations. So, let’s start with...”
I think I may be having a Ti-Si loop. I realized I’m more unhappy. Also meaning, I know I can be happier, healthier, more creative, higher in openness. I’m trying to reconnect to the part of me that’s looking outward with curiosity and noticing differences as something interesting rather than boring. I used to be like that.
