Riptides And Memories-Chapter 28
She didn't know how much time passed. Days, weeks, it simply could've been an hour. It was hard to tell when she spent the first bit of time trying to figure out how to shield.
The feeling of Isrr's power was like the tide. It washed in and out. There was no way to stop it or block it, she had tried. So she gave up trying to block it. She let the power through and let it release around her. Instead, she made herself the shield. Every inch of her skin and body was now the shield. Water was unstoppable and crushed every moveable thing in its path.
So she made herself unmovable.
Her body became stone, like she had done so many times. Unyielding. Unmoving. It had been a defense, so many times. Protecting her from anything and everything her brain knew she couldn't survive. Now, instead of a habit, it was survival.
When she was able to stand and keep the stone intact, she took better stock of the room. There was no windows and the magelight was always on, to the same brightness. The walls were solid rock, along with the floors which made wearing her boots and socks necessary at all times for warmth. There was a small hole in the corner that took her half an hour of investigating before she realised it was for her to go to the bathroom. The door was wood with an iron knob. There was no window. The room itself was nine foot by eleven foot, measured by her own feet. The bed in the corner was six feet by four feet, again measured by her own feet. Her original measurement of the wall height was wrong; the walls were 7.5 feet tall instead of just seven.
A servant brought her meals. This was her only kind of contact. If Xaden placed guards in the halls, she didn't hear them. The server opened the door, set the tray down, took the previous one, waited till she took it, then left. The food was good. She imagined they were leftovers from the Great Hall meals. Bacon, eggs and toast (like her mom used to make), sandwiches and some veggies (very plain), steak and a baked potatoe (she missed her grandpa's steak). It was all cold, they didn't give her anything with sharp ends so she ended up eating and cutting her meat with simply her hands and teeth. It was good that they gave her a napkin as well.
If the guards could hear her, she hoped they liked her singing because that was the only thing that made her feel sane and pass the time; filling the air with songs she half remembered.
She even sang the ones that her voice wasn't good at singing. It made her feel slightly like herself. The fact she was still able to sing. She had nothing else to do. All she was doing was waiting.
She was on her third rendition of Walk Me Home by P!nk (it made her think of Aaric) when she heard footsteps. Her melody changed and she stopped the singing. The footsteps stopped in front of the doorframe. She picked up the metal tray and placed it down in front of the door. She backed up and sat back on the bed. The servant usually doesn't make eye contact, but she won't get them in trouble while doing their job.
It was silent for a long time. She didn't speak, and neither did the person outside the door.
Then, they spoke in a voice she would recognise anywhere. "You really think she's dead?"
She swallowed but stayed by the bed. "Yes."
Bodhi let out a breath and some part of him rested against the door. "I found the letter. I assume you read it."
"No," she denied. "It was for you. She hid it for you. I rehid it until you could discover it. I didn't read it."
Pause. "But you didn't tell me when you first arrived. Or when you realised what happened. Or when you put it all together. You didn't think I deserved to know my sister was dead?"
She could hear the conviction in his voice. She closed her eyes. "I never said that."
"No, you just lied to all of us, for months," he continued. He stepped away from the door, his shadow pacing in front of the door. "You lied and played all of us-for months. You tricked us into caring for you, you tricked me into caring about you. What was I to you then? A game? Another version of survival? Another way to get into our circle? Learn our secrets? Huh? What was I?"
"Safety," she whispered through her own tears. "You were safety." She pulled her knees up onto the bed and hugged them because she needed to hold something. She had to make sure the stone was uncracked.
"You were safety in a world I had been pulled into. I never asked for that. I never asked to be here. I wanted to be home, with my brothers and my family. I wanted to be home." She sniffled. "I never liked lying to you, to Sloane, Xaden, Aaric. But how would it have been if I came up to you and said I wasn't from this world? That I was stuck in a completely different body? That I had no idea how to live in this world. That I felt completely suffocated. That I was terrified. How was I supposed to tell you any of that? But you were so steady. Like an island in the middle of a storm." She paused. "I didn't want to get attatched, but it was hard not to. I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."
Bodhi was quiet for so long. His shadows under the door had stopped moving. He walked closer till she could see the bottom of his boots. "You have brothers."
She nodded though he couldn't see her. "Connor and Jeff. Connor is the oldest, then Jeff, then me. I was the youngest."
He was quiet again. Then he turned and leaned against the door. "I'm an asshole."
She got up off the bed. "You're hurt, and grieving. I'm not mad at you, Bodhi. It wasn't your fault."
He slid down the door. "That-that right there-that's why I didn't think anything. She was always so wise too. But the-the little things: the jokes, the defiance, the anger... I should've noticed something was different."
"I didn't want you to," she stated. "And you hadn't seen each other in years. She hadn't heard from you in the same time. It's not your fault."
Bodhi was silent. "I sent her letters. She never responded."
She sat down in front of the door, trying to offer him comfort. "She never got any letters."
There was the rustle of paper. He had the journal with him. "She never got any letters." The wood rattled as he impacted with the door once more. "I'm an idiot."
"You're her brother," she stated. "It's the same thing. She loved you Bodhi. I don't much about Anika for sure, but I do know she loved you."
They were both silent for a while. She thought she heard him sniffle every so often. She let him be silent. She had said everything she could. She just sat down on the other side of the door and tried to be there for him through inches of wood.
"It was like going back home," he said quietly. "I know that sounds ridiculous, but when I saw her-you... on Conscription Day, it was like getting something back. Something I missed. Then, it was ripped away. Knowing I never had it in the first place...that it was just gone. It hurt so much."
She closed her eyes, leaned her head forward. "I... I want to apologise but I don't know how."
He shook his head. "Don't. Just don't." He paused for another moment. "Xaden went on another mission. He likely won't be back for a few days."
She nodded in understanding. "I can wait. It's giving me time to practice shielding Isrr out."
Bodhi cursed and his shadow moved. "He started channeling?"
"When I first came in here," she said. "I... sort of have a handle on it. I think at least."
"You've got a handle on it?" he repeated. "So you know what to do?"
"I know the basics," she said. "It didn't... really work. So I found a way for it to work for me. He's blocked out. At least I think. It feels... distant now."
"Good." He paused. "Are you going to tell Aaric?"
She let out a breath. "Yes. I..." She scratched her arm. "It's weird. I've had crushes, had a boyfriend before. But it feels different then I ever have before. I don't want to lie to him but at the same time, how do I tell him without getting hurt? Without my heart breaking in half at his reaction?"
Bodhi sighed. "I'm gonna give you some advice that I feel like your brothers might give you too. There's no way to be with someone and not be in danger. I've seen you two together and I can see you really care about each other. There's no protecting yourself in a relationship like that."
"I know," she said. "That's what I'm scared of."
He was silent again. "That little story you told me about a girl named Sierra-"
"Was real," she finished. "I had some issues with my mental health. My head convinced me no one would care if I left. I pushed through it. But it also meant I was so vulnerable to the world. To emotions, to the world shutting down, not seeing my friends. If I don't protect myself, no one else will."
Bodhi moved again, not standing up but adjusting his position on the floor. "That may be true, but he also deserves to know who he's in a relationship with. Who he's been sleeping with because don't think I don't know about that." Bodhi paused and she let her face burn in embarrassment. "There's no way for it to be a good relationship without being honest with him. He deserves the truth as much as me and Xaden did."
She sighed and rubbed her face. "Are all older brothers annoyingly right?"
He chuckled. "Seems so." He was silent but stood up, his boots taking place of his let. "I'll see if I can get Xaden back here sooner. Try not to die of boredom."
"Get me a book then!" she called out as his footsteps moved down the hall. "Or something."
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She wasn't expecting to have so many visitors while sitting and waiting for Xaden. She definitely wasn't expecting Mira to come charging in, slamming the door behind her. Andrea jolted up, her hand already in a fist before she knew what was happening.
"Good," Mira said as she paced. "You need to still be on edge. We need to stay alive."
Andrea blinked. What was Mira doing here? Wasn't she supposed to be at the front? Why was she pacing? Why was she here?
"Stupid Flier brat," Mira muttered. She turned to the girl on the bed. "Do you know what she did?"
"She stuck up a poster of every flier I've killed!" Mira ranted as she continued to pace. "As if making peace wasn't hard enough, the little bitch had to go and make it harder because she still wants to fuck my sister's boyfriend." She scoffed and ran a hand through her short hair. "Gods, I feel like I'm a cadet again." She turned back to the bed and paused. "What?"
The cadet pursed her lips. "It's just... you've been pacing very close to the hole in the corner where I... go to the bathroom-"
Mira scrambled back, a disgusted sound leaving her mouth. She seemed to finally look around, taking stock of her surroundings. "This is where he put you?"
She shrugged. "Apparently I'm a high risk prisoner. They won't even give me a knife to cut my food with. Or a sharp fork."
Mira narrowed her eyes. "What do you cut your food with?"
She wanted to recoil, but the stone held her firm. "I have teeth. And very sharp fingernails. I can't for the life of me find something to cut my fingernails with. Seriously, what do you guys use here? Your daggers?"
Mira blinked, like she was the one taken aback. She paused before she nodded. "Mostly, yes."
The cadet sighed and swung her feet around to put her boots on. "Why are you here, Mira?"
Mira scoffed. "Blame our dragons. Apparently, since they're so new into their mating bond, they need to be around each other constantly. So yes, I get pulled from the front and I imagine I will be until you graduate-"
"No," she interrupted. Her voice was even as she laced up her boots. "Why are you down here? With me? Why not with Brennan? Or your sister? Or training with the other riders on duty. Why down here, with me?"
Mira was silent as she watched the girl lace up her boots. She waited until Andrea stood up to reply. "I wanted to talk to you about our... situation. With Isrr and Teine."
She nodded. "Well, I'm Isrr's first rider. He's likely to survive if I die. He just started channeling to me a little bit ago." She paused. "I know you don't want to be pulled back here every week or so and I'm sorry. You deserve to be out there, protecting the people you love. I know you didn't want to be bonded to us. I told Isrr to pursue a relationship with Teine because I knew it was what he wanted more than anything. I'm sorry I didn't consider your feelings in the matter as well."
Mira watched her. "You really care about your dragon."
She smiled slightly as she felt the tide pull at her fingers. She let it. "He sees me. He's always there. And more than anything else, he chose me. He also saved my life." She raised her hand to her face. "Even if our meeting wasn't exactly perfect."
Mira's mouth quirked a smile. "Mine wasn't either." She showed the scar on her neck. "This one was from the guy that wanted Teine. He didn't walk out of that forest."
The younger girl's hand drifted to her ribs. "Neither did the one who came for me."
Mira's smile dropped. "First time?"
Mira sighed. "It doesn't get easier."
"I don't expect it to. But I had to survive. Now, for more than me."
Mira lifted her chin. She squatted slightly and raised her hands. "Throw me how you punch." At the girl's hesitance, she continued. "If you're gonna survive, you're gonna need to know how to fight. So show me how you punch."
She nodded and got into her fighting stance. She raised her fists and started punching into Mira's fists. She went on for a while. Long enough for the burn to echo in her arms and her spine to ache from the constant rotation. She was sweating enough she removed her jacket and threw it on the bed. Sometimes she would jab or kick as well, Mira blocking each hit. Sometimes Mira would give her tips: keep your hands up, keep your elbow bent, stay on the balls of your feet, keep your hands up.
She sent one more jab before she stumbled back onto the bed. She panted, blinking the sweat from her eyes. "You go hard, Sorrengail," she panted.
"Have to," Mira stated simply. She walked over and unsheathed one of her knives. She flipped it in her hand and held it out to her. The cadet watched her with careful eyes. "You're gonna need something to cut your food with."
Andrea let out a breathy laugh. She took the knife and slid it into one of her thigh sheaths. She felt part of herself heal. Suddenly she wasn't just a defenseless little girl. But a woman, a dragon rider, who wore a knife on her thigh. She felt more like herself.
"Thank you," she told Mira.
Mira nodded. "I'm gonna go yell at my brother for a little bit. I'll see if he can get Xaden back here soon, get you back on your dragon where you belong." She turned and strode to the door.
"Hey Mira," she called. The woman paused at the doorway. "How long have I been down here?"
She nodded in understanding. That matched up with the trays the servant had brought. She just wanted to be sure. "Thanks."
"Can you not ask Isrr?" Mira questioned.
"Still trying to get used to shielding," she said.
"And being stubborn," Isrr sassed in her head. "Refusing to speak to your own dragon-"
I'm trying to block you out so I don't feel you when you and Teine get horny later, she argued.
He scoffed but didn't argue back.
She nodded. "He's always there. Still love him anyway."
Mira nodded before she tapped the doorframe slightly and left.
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The door opened again six meals later and she looked up from where she had mashed potatoes in her mouth. Violet stood in the doorway, watching her. Violet had a small book bag with her.
Andrea swallowed before speaking, "Wasn't expecting to have so many visitors. What can I do for you, Violet?"
Violet closed the door and walked in. She held out the bag. "You knew about the bags," she stated.
The younger woman pursed her lips and swallowed another forkful. "I did."
Violet gripped the bag and brought it back to her side. "You... knew what would happen next."
She looked down at the food tray that was suddenly very unappetizing. She loved mashed potatoes. "I... I wanted to help. I didn't know what would happen next if I interfered, how it would affect the story... but I also wasn't able to stand by and do nothing. You didn't deserve to have that happen to you Violet."
Violet was silent. The younger cadet couldn't meet her eyes.
"You tried to save me," Violet said finally.
Andrea shook her head. "It didn't do anything. You still got caught. I was utterly useless in that mission."
Violet sat down on the bed as well. "You tried to save me, despite not knowing what would happen. Thank you, Sierra."
She flinched. She knew Violet noticed. "Sierra died on Parapet. I killed her. I had to. I... She couldn't survive Basgiath when she was so close to her past life. To her world. I had to change. I didn't want to change, but I was more afraid of dying. Anika was stronger than I was." She hugged her knees closer.
Violet reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. "You said there were three books in the series? About our... about my life?"
She looked up. She nodded. "There are. Violet... I'm not sure how much I'm able to tell you."
Violet's brows furrowed. "Why not?"
She sighed and ran a hand over her face. "You have paper in that bag?"
Violet nodded and brought out paper and a quill, setting the inkpot on the bed between them. The younger cadet used her leg as a writing surface, like she used to do so often.
"Okay," Andrea began, "in my world, there's no magic. So a lot of time is spent looking into science and alternate realities from our own. One of those things takes both and made a concept called time travel, where someone could go back in time or forward in time. But it also has a lot of scientific applications and theories. One of those theories is called the butterfly effect." She drew a line-or tried to. "If a person were to go back in time," she drew a curving line from the far side of the line and made it go backwards near the start, "and effect something outside the order it was supposed to happen, then it can have drastic effects. The smallest thing can effect something else, which can change something else, and so on and so on till it's propelled into a new form of reality." She drew a new line, separating from the original one but following its path. "This new reality can be very similar, but also very different from the other."
"So, you think that if you change something, you can alter the story as you know it?" Violet asked.
She nodded. "That's the whole point. Changing something, can mean changing everything. Diverting one disaster can lead to causing another. Even me being here changes things. There's no mention of an Anika Durran in the books so far."
Violet furrowed her brows. "None?"
She shook her head. "Nothing. She never existed in the books. But here I am."
Violet paused, her eyes seemingly lost in thought. "When you said divert one disaster, what did you mean?"
She licked her lips, feeling like Doc from Back To The Future. "Remember how I said that going back in time can change things?" Violet nodded. "Well, by going back and changing something, like alerting a village to a tidal wave coming to destroy a town, it could cause a battle in the mountains. The whole point of this theory is the fact that by changing things, it diverts from the world we know and creates a new disaster and set of events entirely."
Violet met her eyes again. "You won't be able to tell me much will you?"
"I don't know how much it will change things," she stated. "But I also don't want to. Because changing it too much might make things so much worse." She fiddled with the quill for a moment. "I want you to know that I want to help. But I also don't know everything. The series was incomplete when I died. I don't know anything past the coming April and I don't have all the answers. I don't know how the series ends, how to eradicate venin or how to cure one. I want to be more help, but I just..." She paused. She gripped the quill tighter.
"There is something I do want to tell you- that I think might help you with the wards: Warrick is a liar. He was an asshole and used the wrong information." She looked up at Violet. "You've been working with the wrong journal."
Violet sucked in a breath, her eyes going wide. "How much? How much is wrong?"
"Just one thing," she provided, looking down at her badly drawn diagram. "But it changes everything."
Violet reached out and took the quill. She took the quill and the diagram. She met the younger cadet's eyes. "Thank you for giving me this."
The girl smiled slightly. "I'm sorry I can't help you more."
Violet packed both in her bag, along with the ink pot. "You've given me plenty. I'll talk to Xaden, get him to let you out of here."
"I won't hold my breath," she muttered as Violet left.
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When she heard the rushing feet in the hallway, she expected it to be Mira again. Maybe she was angry again. But this was more panicked then angry. She quickly pulled up her pants and turned to face the door. There were boots in front of the door. Her hand went to the knife on her thigh and crouched slightly. She didn't know what this was. If there was an attack, or just a servant running late with her food. But this felt different.
The door opened and she felt shock enter her body. "Aaric?" she asked.
He had a sword in hand. "Oh thank the gods." He hurried to her and cupped her face, pressing a hurried kiss to her lips. She inhaled, still in shock. Aaric pulled back and took her hand. "Come on, we're leaving."
"Woah, woah, woah," she said, planting her feet. "Aaric, what are you talking about?"
Now he looked at her like she was an idiot. He sheathed his sword. "Don't get mad, but I know Xaden locked you up in here. I talked with Sloane and Patrisiah, they're making a distraction. Molvic should be telling Isrr to get to the courtyard-"
"I've just been notified," Isrr added. "Should I tell him or will you?"
I'll handle it, she decided.
"-I have a friend not too far away." He was still going. "He said you can stay there, keep it quiet until-"
"Aaric," she interrupted. He stopped, clearly taken back by her calm demeaner. She took his hand and brought him to the tray under her bed. She showed him the plate that still had crumbs on it. "I'm being fed three meals a day, with leftovers from the Great Hall." She pulled him to the doorway and gestured to the knob. "The door is unlocked."
She waved a hand down the hall. "There are no guards in active rotation here." She brought his hand over her arms and midsection. "No one has been harming me or demanding information. I'm okay, sweetheart."
His hand drifted up to her face again and traced over the scar on her cheek. "Why..."
She sighed and leaned in one more time. Just in case it was the last. "Isrr bonded with Teine. It made me realise I couldn't keep a secret from Xaden and Bodhi anymore, not Mira either. They deserved to know the truth. Xaden put me down here because he thought he couldn't trust me anymore."
"Why wouldn't he be able to trust you?" Aaric questioned.
"That's between me and her," Xaden said down the hall. Apparently he was back from his mission.
Aaric stiffened, his hand going to one of his dagger. She caught it and intertwined their fingers. "It's okay," she told him.
He shook his head. "It's not." His voice was loud enough for Xaden to hear.
She leaned up and kissed his forehead. A habit she picked up from Bodhi. A silent apology. I'm sorry. She pulled away and looked into his beautiful eyes. "We just have a few things to talk about is all," she consoled. "I'll find you after."
"And what if he locks you in this time?" Aaric challenged.
She shrugged. "I can break my way out. I'm a big girl, Greycastle."
He seemed on edge. Torn between her wishes and keeping her safe. She squeezed his hand again. "Thank you," she told him. "For launching an escape attempt for my sake."
He squeezed her hand back. "I would do it a thousand times." He turned to Xaden but didn't let go of her hand. "She better be able to find me later."
"That depends on her answers," Xaden supplied. Aaric didn't seem very happy but took his leave, the two glaring at each other the entire way.
Xaden eventually turned back to her where she was standing in the threshold, back against the door. "You could've said something," he began.
He interrupted her. "You could've said something to someone at any point. The cadre, Devera, Varrish, even Aetos or your squad leader." She looked at him confused. "You knew what was going on- the daggers, the drifts, my signet, everything. You could've said something at any point and you didn't."
She sensed the same question that Aaric had wondered. Why? "Varrish was a creep and murdered an entire squad," she stated. "Even though you guys are framed... a certain way because of Violet's perspective in the retelling, I do think what you're doing is worth doing. People were dying. You were trying to help. I wasn't gonna hinder that."
He walked closer. "You could've left at any point." He gestured to the door. "You knew it was unlocked?"
"From day one." She shrugged. "If me shitting into a hole for two weeks-which I'm a little pissed about by the way-proves I'm trustworthy to you, then so be it."
He stopped in front of her. He scanned her face. "You wanted to survive."
She nodded. "I did. That's still something I want. What anyone wants, I imagine. But I also want to help-if I can. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to tell you, if it will only make things worse by you already knowing. But I want to help."
He reached to one of the knives at his belt. Her eyes narrowed. They were her knives. He slid them out. One by one. Offered them to her. A truce.
"If you can help," he said, "then I will take anything you can."
She nodded and took the first blade. The alloy one. She slid it in beside Mira's. The shadows on the wall took the rest and slid them into the sheathes across her body. Her thighs, her waist, her belt. Till they were all resting in their places once more.
She smiled at him. "What now?"
"Well, I heard the professors were reinstituting challenges in cadets," he said. "I wanted to see if anything good was going to happen."
She smiled, thinking of the scene in the book. "I think there will be." Xaden gave her a look but didn't say anything. He simply led the way down the hall. They turned the corner and there was Aaric. He had been pacing by an unconscious guard. He looked over as they turned the corner, his shoulders relaxing but still glared at Xaden.
She smiled at him and walked over. She leaned up and kissed him. He placed his hands on her waist and steadied her as he kissed back. She pulled away with a smile. "You came to find me," she whispered.
He smiled too. "I would do it a thousand times." She squeezed his hand.
"I really hope that's not what me and Violet look like," Xaden muttered as he walked past. "You better not have killed my guard, Tauri."
Aaric rolled his eyes as he led her down the hall. "I know how to knock someone unconscious without killing them."
She raised a brow at him. He rolled his eyes. He looked back at her seriously. "Everything okay?"
She smiled. "I have my knives. I feel like that tells you something."
He raised their joined hands and kissed her knuckles. "I'm glad you're okay, Riptide."
They were otherwise silent as they made their way to the barracks portion of the house, where the challenges were no doubt taking place. When they arrived, everyone was watching one mat. The cadets parted as Xaden strode forward then stopped when he reached the front. Despite knowing what she would see, she still allowed Aaric to drag her closer to the front. She didn't let go of his hand.
Violet was on the mat, choking Cat. The flier's face was red, but not just from the blood.
"Damn it, Cat!" a Flier yelled. "Tap out!"
Every other match was paused, one rider had a flier with their fist pulled back, ready to punch but their arm was frozen in air. A lot of the cadets were screaming at the flier to tap out. Cat didn't tap out. Violet didn't stop.
"Get out of my head!" Violet screamed at the top of her lungs.
"She's using mindwork," Aaric muttered.
Violet removed her hands from Cat's throat, but didn't move. Xaden strode forward and lifted her from Cat's body. Cat coughed as Violet's weight was removed. Violet clung onto Xaden's jacket, her knuckles white.
"I didn't tap out!" Cat's voice was weak, even though the words carried conviction.
Andrea gripped Aaric's hand so she didn't yell at the girl.
"Riorson!" Devera snapped. "Why would you interfere with a chall-"
"Because she cheated!" Imogen yelled. Her voice was fire, consuming and attention grabbing. "She used mindwork!"
"She's the one who's unhinged!" Cat's voice cracked as she jabbed her finger at Violet.
"I'm unhinged? I'll show you unhinged when I kill you for fucking with my head!" Violet lunged out to attack, but Xaden held her fast.
"Let me know if you actually mean it," Xaden told Violet. Andrea only heard him because of how close she was.
"Catriona!" Kiandra-the main flier professor- barked as she pushed through the cadets. "Tell me you didn't..." She glanced between the two, back and forth. "Let go, Cat!"
"Fuck her!" Cat's voice was still weak, though the hate in her words was visible to everyone. "And fuck her entire family. I hope you all die for what you've done to us!"
Andrea drew a dagger with her free hand.
Violet surged and her hair stood on end. Andrea knew what that meant from her old trampoline. "Everyone get down!" she shouted.
Her voice was nearly drowned out from the crack that split the air. But people still ducked, even as the wooden audience stands caught fire from Violet's lightning bolt. Xaden's shadows smothered the flames before a water or flame wielder could.
"Bragen! Maren!" Kiandra ordered. "Escort Catriona to her room. Her gift is limited by-"
"Distance. I know." Xaden swung Violet over his shoulder like a fireman.
"Riorson!" Andrea looked over as Rhiannon threw something to him. He caught it, gave her a nod, then left. Two fliers helped Cat up and made sure she was following them as the three left.
Aaric turned to Andrea and cupped her face. "Are you okay?" he asked.
She nodded. "We weren't even close to the stands."
He leaned forward, catching her eyes. "You're still my first priority." He looked down. "What were you going to do with that?"
She looked at the knife in her hand. "I don't know. I just...It felt right in the moment. And I," she whispered the next part, "wanted to protect Violet if she advanced."
He smiled and took her wrist before squeezing it. He guided the knife back into its sheath. "I am always in awe of you."
She smiled too before Bodhi's words echoed in her heart. "We need to talk later," she whispered. "Tonight?"
His smile dropped but he still squeezed the hand he didn't let go. "Tonight."
"That's enough of challenges for today," Devera announced. "Starting tomorrow morning, squads and drifts will be absorbed. We all expect you to work together. Now, you're all dismissed."
Cadets slowly filtered out. Some slower than others, but they still left.
Suddenly, a force hit her from behind, causing her to fall into Aaric who caught her easily. The arms tightened around her quickly.
"You're okay," Sloane whispered.
Andrea released Aaric to squeeze Sloane's arms. "I'm okay," she responded.
"You were gone, and Violet wouldn't say anything, and Aaric was panicking, and Bodhi was all mad, and Xaden wasn't here, and no one would tell me anything!" Sloane ranted.
Andrea closed her eyes shut to avoid the tears. She turned around and hugged Sloane back.
"I'm okay," she whispered. "I'm here." Sloaned sniffled and held her tighter. Andrea gripped her jacket. She had missed her friend.
"Glad you're back Durran." Andrea looked up as Patrisiah stood there, a smiled on her face as well.
Andrea held a hand out to the girl who crouched down and joined their little group hug.
For a moment, she was Andrea again. And she was whole.
